The excitement you feel at new years. Is arbitrary. It’s created. We decided that completing 365 days is an accomplishment. A time to celebrate, to reflect, to dream.

We begin to think about all the possibilities of a new year. The places we may go, people we may meet, people we may become.

We create the feeling of being new, fresh, opportunities await.

But what if we celebrated like this every week. Everyday. We feel the same accomplishment and pride and joy for living another day. We feel the excitement and dream about the possibilities that tomorrow holds.

We truly, deep down try to embrace the feelings of new years each and every day. We reflect on the day, what went wrong and released it. What went right and how we can foster more of that. Appreciate the places we went that day while dreaming of the places we’ll go tomorrow.

We create how we feel. How we process. We can’t control the outside influences but we can work to control how we process and react. We can celebrate each and every day and the possibilities that a new day holds.

This year I want to celebrate the new day.

Good morning, happy new day!
Good night, wishing you an amazing tomorrow!

I’m fifteen days into the new year.
I’ve taken no more than twelve steps,
My eyes blink, and in a flash I am here.
My ’empty’ falls, I stand. In God’s light, at my best.
An astral curtain, I’ve just phased through.
Sheer focus aimed ahead; No more playing dead.
Side not with the wicked; rather, the justly shrewd.
Most haven’t seen what hell has to offer. I have, and I’m through.
I’ll march forward. Alone, or with a few.
Nevermind those shadows, we walk in truth.
You’ve got me, and I’ve got you.

P.S. I understand this is quite vague/cryptic. I don’t wanna give too much away on my goals just yet. Still in the process of organizing/compiling 🙂

For years, I have chosen everyone else first
I allowed myself to not even be on my own list of priorities
I did not think I deserved to recognize on my own time with deserving the merits of love for myself
I had everyone categorized in my mind as more important than me
I was determined to not be a nuisance or cause anyone discomfort

2020 changed me as it did others

2020 made me aware of the importance of self stillness
2021 taught me that I do not need to live up to others timelines, my own is important
2022 woke up my internal clock of no longer delaying my own growth
2023 broke me of any self doubt that was leftover of 2022 and set my path on fire
2024 is the year I choose Me

I choose to make myself a top priority on my own list
I choose to make sure I know my worth and my value even when others question me
I choose to be uncomfortable with not taking care of everyone else, first
I choose making sure I know I am allowed to love myself honestly and fully
I choose living up to my own expectations and I am looking forward to how this adventure unwinds over this year

2024 is the year I choose me

Another year down this road
In many ways I’ve grown
Spontaneity, once my greatest fear
A trip into the unknown

I’ll stop seeing my body as a prison
A cage that I can’t escape
For this “prison” has fought many fights
And is still fighting until this day

I’ll view the world with a little less fear
And give open doors a chance
Tomorrow isn’t promised
So I’ll make every moment last

I’ll tend to my own garden
Watering the field in which I lay
No more searching for greener pastures
Just staying in my lane

The spring will bring new flowers
The weeds may still arise
I’ll nip all problems in the bud
I’ll no longer keep them inside

I’ll be a better person
I’ll learn from my mistakes
I’m not as lost as I once was
Maybe this year I will find my way

……………………………….
Vision reality — Pt.1✨
Dreams VS. Vision 💭
……………………………….
Dreams to me—
are what you see when you’re asleep

Vision, is what you set goals for—
to execute & achieve

I have so many goals in mind
& I believe what the mind can see—
you can bring to life

From Vision to Reality

But There’s just this little catch though

Sometimes it feels like it works
& sometimes—it feels like it don’t

Sometimes you get to keep somethings
Sometimes you won’t

Then there’s times—
you don’t even get to have it

Unless it’s in your dreams
& not reality

I know at times its felt so real
But then it quickly disappeared
Like quick sand slippen thru your hands
On it went—to never ever land

At first it hurts so much
You question everything—including you & your self-worth

Somethings are just not meant—for you though

Sometimes it’s just wrong size—
perhaps wrong address

Or simply just—
wrong timing

Alotta times—
things tend to look all pretty & shiny ✨

So much so—
they can easily become blinding

From afar they’ll bling —
attracting anyone & anything

Just remember—things aren’t always what they seem

Sometimes the ring don’t fit
Or your body don’t accept it

Sometimes I’m allergic
& my body rejects it

But with so many options in this world
Sometimes—
Just Sometimes—
Less is more

But don’t get discouraged—
I just want you to know

Worry bout yourself & your home

Everything else will fall into place for you—along the road

……………………………….
Vision reality — Pt 2. ✨✨
2024 Goals 📝
……………………………….

So when they ask me about my 2024
This is what I wrote

I set some goals
& I could easily tell you now
but my goals aren’t for everyone to know
I would rather show you how

I rather create my master plan—
have a talk upstairs w my old man
Jot them down—
remember how

The struggle is real
but God is Realer

How—plans are a guide
But usually never—fully set in stone

Sometimes you’ll go straight ahead—
sometimes you detour

Stay on your toes—
& ready for redirection

Cause the time will come—
when plans ain’t steady

Sometimes they go south
Sometimes they’ll go North

But don’t you worry—just hold tight
& don’t let go

Keep in mind—
there is more than one way—you can go

Just hand him the wheel—let him steer
& put your blinders on—
so you can see clear

Listen up & listen close
Be careful with all that—outside noise

Sometimes his voice can be real quite
So I do my best—to quite my surroundings

Cause—
How I’m suppose to hear him talking—
while listening to—“Yo Gotti”

God be tryna reach out to me—
after me asking him to guide me

But then—
I go straight into hiding

Hiding behind memes & streams—
that contradict what he believes

Catch what I’m saying?

I’m sorry Lord—I’m trying

I know you know best—
where I am—where I’m headed
& what needs—be left—behind me

Like that one time—
I had that vision of a business
But it didn’t make it

Named it—Vision Reality
I was so hopeful & determined

I held on to the idea—for some time
Tryna not—let go of it

I paid a lot of money out of pocket
Until I couldn’t pay—no more of it

Spent months & months—working on it
Alot of frustrating late nights—
that felt like wasted time

But no time is ever wasted—
if you chose to learn—from all the unexpected lessons

I know more now—then I did back then
& perhaps that—one failed attempt
will help me—perfect the next
……………………………….
Vision reality — Pt 3. ✨✨✨
Love Note Back To You 💙
……………………………….

So when I think about 2024
& my goals I have set forth—
I write them down & plan ahead
Always keeping in mind—Remembering

I’m never fully in charge—
I’ve never been

I always wanna be in control
& I know it’s time—I learn to let go

Let go—of my so called “Master Plans”
Lay them down into—the Real Masters Hands

Let him help me quite all the noise
Take my lil social media breaks—as needed
so I can fully hear his voice

Focus on my own goals & life—
not just sit back-chillin—
watching y’all live yours

Live my life for me
Remembering—

Not everything in life—
needs to be shared
Not everyone—
needs to know everything

W so many distractions—
It can be easy to be sucked into the madness
To forget—our own goals & visions

So I take breaks—when I start to feel low or stagnant
& I revisit

Revisit my goals & pray on em’
Cause soon as I get comfortable—
i’m uncomfortable again
knowin I should—be working on the next one

So I ask him to help me—shut the world out again
& all it’s nonsense
To give me back my tunnel vision
& let me get a lil glimpse of him

To not let this world stain my lenses
cause I hate to become blind
& a prisoner of my own mind
& rob myself—of my own blessings

But when everything around me’s—
fake news
When everything is wrong—
that I once thought to be true

All this & more—can really weigh on me
& I can’t lie—it can really get depressing

So I ask my God—
for some love notes—here & there
To let me get a glimpse of heaven—
util I myself—can finally get there

So for 2024—
there’s so much—that I plan to do

Most of all—I just want to become—
less of me & more of you

I really love to brag about your love for us
Cause I wish the world knew—it’s true

But vise versa—I could never brag about MY love for you

I know I fail you—every day
Real quick tho—I just wanna say

Thank you—Lord
For your provision & my daily bread

For the day you told me

Just hold on—you won’t regret it
Trust me—I got it

Cause even though it sometimes hurts—
I’ll take it

15 yrs later—You were right
I don’t regret it

2024—is yours Lord
Show me—just what you can do

I think I’m ready now
I wanna see you move

Let’s go—Let’s get it

God,
This is My Love Note back to you

💙🙏🏽

I don’t have resolutions and despite popular belief
I really don’t know what I’m doing
(especially going into this next year.)
Instead, I know more about who I am not
& I know what I will not do.

I will not wait.
for anyone or anything to like me
I have no desire to be likable to the people who see as debatable
I want to be loved fully and completely
I want to know that I am worth the fight
worth the discomfort
And worth the effort to try to get it right this time.

I will not linger.
on the pain or ambiguity.
part of the awakening / is the awareness /
that everything works out as it should.
there’s nothing I can do
there’s nothing you can do
there’s nothing anyone can do
to keep me from what’s mine and
anything ‘lost’ in the middle is merely practice
to lay my own impatience to rest.
“as I think, so I shall be.”
so I let go, consciously
knowing that I will be okay with the energy of the cosmos leading the way.

I will not be afraid.
I used to believe that fear was a super power capable enough of making me
smarter, sharper, faster,
but I clung to that too much
holding onto that belief until fear crippled me.
// I’m not doing that anymore //
living with fear at the forefront
has made me lose more than its ever made me gain.

last night, I drove to pahrump
alone at midnight.
it was pitch black out
nothing but mountains for miles and a thousands threats of danger lined both sides of the roadway.
But I kept driving
I kept going
and I prevailed by repeating that “I am not afraid”
// A new mantra when I start to lose my way. //

I will not doubt myself.
my sacral authority has been strengthened by
18,976 minutes of meditations.
my intuition is more than capable
of interpreting the signs
the numbers
and the meaning
of everything around me.
This is the power of woman
and all I need to do is listen.

I will not define myself by insanity.
I will not repeat the same patterns
and the same behaviors in hopes
of different outcomes.
there is an ebb and flow to everything / the yin and the yang /
perfect pairs that present truths
that I keep persuading myself as wrong.

“Maybe if I try harder, this time it’ll be different”.
“Maybe this time, they do just need space”
Maybe this. Maybe that.
But maybe not.

These are not chances that I am willing to take as I gamble my life away.

I will not stay silent.
I will not say yes when I mean no
I will not sit by and watch atrocities unfold
when I have a voice.
My boundaries
My emotions
My thoughts
My peace
are all inherently valid and will not be ignored.

This year
I don’t have resolutions
and I have no clue what I’m doing
but instead I have this simple equation
where I subtracting the distractions
add in new wisdom
multiply the joy
and diving the things I love
to find the real value.
to find the real me
the who already has everything
she needs because she understands her power
and know it lives inside her.

and I hope you can connect to that, too.

happy new year.

Dear Unsealers,

It’s the halfway point of January. Though I’ve been taking it a bit slow, I still have plans that I want to achieve in 2024.

I’ll tell you what they are…in verse

As 2024 rolls on
Here’s what I know…

I hope to expand on my writing gains
With the fourth attempt to bring the next chapter of the Poetic Journey to life
To complete the Tupelo Press 30/30 challenge
Go the distance through NaPoWriMo once again
And possibly, write my next chapter

To make it past my probationary period in February
Seeing in my first anniversary at work full-time come October

Come the fall, my next destination beckons
As I trade the Aegean for the Adriatic
With visions of being by the sea in Dubrovnik

This is just a taste of the plans in store
Knowing that the rest of this year is open for so much more

Eyes open and there’s my smile.
I’m alive and I made it.
Lord, thank you for seeing me through.
12 more months to create internal joy and more self love.
I’m doing that!

Is that the sun shining ?
Sure as hell is, and it’s 2024.
Clap clap because, It’s about to go down.
12 more months to create financial abundance.
Im doing that!

Alexa play Anita Baker, You Bring Me Joy!
Who is that dancing in the window?
It’s me, because I bring me joy.
12 more months to create that solo dance performance.
Im doing that!

Shit!
Your son is getting married in 4months.
You heard me, 4 months!
Weight Watchers app, can I get a clap
Clap?
4 more months to look extra good and 8 more months to feel like I’m Hollywood!
I’m doing that!

The journal is open to create more stories.
Traveling more to see what else is in store.
You wrote a story from the heart in 15 minutes and won that contest.
Shut up! Who did that?
12 more months to dedicate time to writing, reading and expressing.
Yes, you!
I’m doing that!

Don’t you think you’re doing a lot?
What?? One son overcame his panic attacks , stuttering and is 29 , a plumber and getting married.
The other son overcame having seizures and couldn’t talk for almost a year and has graduated music school and has an internship as an audio engineer.
Dam right Im doing a lot, cause im doing all of that!

2024 – New Year, New Me!

You know the same thing we ALWAYS say!

What makes this year so different?

My levels of Effs to give.

I’m walking into 2024 with full knowledge,

I will became the villain in a lot of peoples reality.

Honestly, that makes me feel content

Because that means I’m becoming the hero I deserve to be in my reality.

Look, it’s a bird, it’s a plane,

Nah – its Antoinette taking her power back.

I’m a mom, daughter, wife, friend and the list goes on

But most importantly – I AM ME!

I have been in a cocoon; realizing I’m embarking on an evolution.

I’m excited to spread my beautifully crafted wings wide and proudly!

My wings will bring boundaries that will lead to a limitless life!

My wings will gift me a little blue book.

My little blue book of adventure and memories!

I will break the chains placed on me from generations past.

Setting my bloodline free –

By betting on me!

The world runs around and bucks you
Of your trajectory with minutiea that drive you
Up a wall, and down into darkness which blinds
Your senses that either gives adrenaline or freezes
You into a statue that’s blind, deaf, and dumb.

Your vision turns into bright starts that short-
Circuit your mind with blinding light whose sport
Is to suppress your logic, embracing emotions
That turn you deaf to all evidence against your passions.
Those then steal your ability to speak your mind.

As the world moves round and round, like a merry
Go round, so do you try to stave off the shocks that ferry
You into dismay as experiences are disillusioningly
Petrifying, with their obstacles and demands
On your taking a stand outside your comfort zones.

Stay the course.
Stand tall.
Savor each experience.
Strengthen your faith with failure or success.
Sever negative relationships,

And let your self-confidence emerge
A snow white pigeon of peace and verve of life.

©️ Malak kalmoni chehab ©️