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  • Why Do I Love Myself?

    I love myself cause God first loved me

    I love myself because I didn’t like the old me .

    I love myself because I am my longest commitment

    But to love myself ain’t all rainbows and butterflies

    To love myself means
    to lose myself over and over again —in the process

    I love myself because no one else was up for the challenge

    I love myself because I wanna love you better and I can’t without it

    I love myself because home should feel safe, freeing, and calming

    I love myself because I don’t wanna keep on running

    I love myself because I don’t need instant gratification

    I love myself because I’m willing to wait and sacrifice for all things meant for me

    I love myself because I owe it to myself to say goodbye to the old me

    I love myself because I don’t wanna be 35, partying & hoeing

    I love myself because I know what I want & I’m determined to work hard & go get it

    I love myself because I can apologize when I realize of my wrong doings

    I love myself because Depth — is hard to find

    & Superficial — is depressing and boring

    I love myself because Ik I don’t know it all
    & Im willing to continue learning

    I love myself because I love the world around me

    I love myself because I’m humble and loving

    I love myself because I want to give back & show my appreciation & gratitude to the one who
    —despite my imperfections & flaws—

    still chooses to love me ❤️🙏🏽

    These are some of the reasons why

    I love me

    BeyondMe

    Voting starts April 16, 2024 12:00am

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  • Beyond Me shared a letter in the Group logo of PoetryPoetry group 3 weeks, 1 day ago

    Happiness 😊

    When you think Happiness — What do you see ?

    For me — Happiness is a lot of different things

    Like finding banana bread in my car from last night

    & realizing — hey cool — now I have a midday snack 😋

    Happiness is noticing I put my keys on the hook

    & the following day not having to run around like a chicken without a head — while I desperately look

    Happiness is the days — I wake up to a clean room

    & the days my son gets ready — without step by step instruction — on what he needs to do

    Happiness is his comical personality —
    a free in house comedian — just for mommy

    He still cost me a fortune — but that’s ok
    Mommy thinks he’s worth it

    Happiness is arriving to my destination on time

    Or watching the kids playing soccer outside

    Happiness is a mani pedi night
    & tik tok time with my beautiful niece

    Happiness is watching lifetime movies
    with my mom — (even tho they traumatize me)

    — Or her guilt-fully admitting to me
    she gave a stranger — a good chunk of money

    Happiness looks different for everybody

    Some ppl think happiness is only in the future
    While others may only see it in the past

    There’s been times — I’ve been both those people
    but I no longer wanna be like that

    I feel the sooner we learn to release the idea of happiness being anywhere but now

    The sooner we unlock the chains — that have held us hostage

    & blinded us from the blessings — we currently
    have right now

    So I look around at my now — and I think about all the things I currently have — that make me happy

    & suddenly the things I don’t yet have — start to slip my mind

    Not because I don’t want them anymore
    but because obsessing over it — is unhealthy

    So just incase I start to forget my blessings
    I jot them down to revisit them

    & I remind myself that happiness is not a perfect situation or timeframe

    Happiness is a way of liven

    So I try to be happy —
    minute by minute — hour by hour — day by day
    if I have to

    Until happy moments
    turn into happy days again

    Ik it’s easier said than done
    — I also struggle with it

    Some situations make it hard to live happy each moment

    — like a sudden loss or separation
    Or being in an abusive relationship

    Identity theft — sudden illnesses — You name it

    But I spent a lot of years of life carrying the weight of burdens that weren’t mine to carry

    Not because these things didn’t happen to me
    — Because they did

    But because I tried to control things that were out of my control — instead of letting go

    Letting go is hard — I know

    But it’s freeing 🦅

    So I put my worries up on a shelf — let them worry about themselves

    — & redirect my focus to something else

    Like listening to my brother telling me — he successfully completed a mission

    Wether I’d be — home remodeling
    or that he recently replaced a transmission

    I don’t understand what he says to me half the time but I’m happy to listen

    Happiness is the sun setting in in front my eyes
    or in my cars — rear view mirror

    Happiness is — long curly hair & colored eyes
    on that one stranger — who helped me heal

    Happiness is my sitter & I playing rumikub
    Or my sons sister finally telling me — I love you too

    Happiness is watching a father interact w his son
    & heal the inner child in him — that never had one

    Happiness is the smile I see on my granny — while giving her a gel mani

    Even more so — watching her regain her strength after amputation — & learning how to walk again w her prosthetic

    Happiness is — my friends famous enchiladas
    Her venting to me — all pissed off
    Or us having a self care day — with an amazing massage

    Happiness is a good talk with a stranger
    Or a God answered prayer

    At times — happiness is receiving peace
    in exchange for the ones — unanswered

    Happiness is changing the situation when it no longer makes you happy

    Or changing your perspective on it
    — if that’s not an option

    Happiness is listening to
    (Reckless love)

    Or finding a safe place to express myself & my feelings like — theunsealed.com

    Happiness sometimes means to hold on

    While other times happinesss means to let go

    Happiness may look different for everyone else tho

    This is just some of my happiness
    summarized into a short little poem 💙

    BeyondMe

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    • I love how expansive this poem is! It’s obvious you really put a lot of effort and love into this poem and I feel like you were telling a story. The humour made this feel very personal 🙂

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  • Thank you so much Lauren ! 🥹💙

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  • Grateful

    It’s easy — isn’t it
    To look back on our life & remember all the worst
    All the worst times of our life that always seem to come first

    Like the first time — I experienced racism
    The first time — I experienced bullying

    The first time — my love was used against me
    Or the first time — my heart was broken

    There was a lot of first of “THE WORST”
    But likewise — there were many first of the best

    Like the first time — I got the job I really wanted
    Or the first time — I graduated

    Or the time I won my first real fight with ease
    Or the first time a family member came home from jail surprising me

    There’s been a lot of good moments
    but I seem to have forgotten a lot of them

    I’m doing my best now — to live in the present moment
    —To soak it all in

    Cause I know there is so much to be grateful for
    —There’s always been

    Like my mom choosing peace & safety over toxicity — for her children

    No matter what — she never let fear stop her

    She was unbelievable
    She was unstoppable

    She did the best she could with the hand she was dealt

    Like getting that job that not only paid the bills
    but also provided us with a warm free house

    Or that one time she pointed out to her lawyer — how she was wrong

    That was only one of the many steps she took — to obtain our freedom

    I still remember the first time she met my little boyfriend

    She offered to give us some money
    —then suggested we go to Barnes & Noble
    to drink some coffee

    At the time it was so embarrassing—
    But looking back now— She’s so funny
    We were like 14 — Not 40

    I still remember — I tried to avoid repeating history
    but somehow history didn’t escape me

    One day — I had to text my mom discreetly
    I asked her to please come save me

    I won’t go into detail — but that day she rescued me from hell

    I remember the times my brother and I would go skating

    Or this one time we decided to try out this game — where he had to try to make me pass out

    & it actually worked — he did

    Except I think he thought he killed me
    I don’t know — but that shit is funny

    Some of them were good memories
    & some were bittersweet

    I wish I could remember them all
    but disassociation got the best of me

    So here’s a few more that easily come to mind

    Like when my first love never made me feel pressured
    — Simply loved

    Or when my second one spoke a prayer over me
    That felt majestic & empowering
    — Like freedom

    Or when my friends and I thought we were cute — walking around the east side

    Just waiting on the cute boys to drive by and say hi

    Haha— those sure were the good times.

    Then there was that time an important figure in my life somehow ended up in jail
    Managed to post bail & still make it back in time to my baby shower

    Or when that amazing teacher who quickly became family
    Went out of her way to pick me up for school daily

    Or when another amazing teacher who often went above and beyond

    Was touched by some writing assignment I did
    & surprised me with an unexpected gift

    So yeah—

    It is easy to remember all the worst — but there is also so much to be grateful for

    I’m grateful for every glimpse of heaven I’ve ever received

    I’m grateful for a badass mom & her vision to always
    Push forward & succeed

    I’m grateful for the village that helped raise me

    I’m grateful for any friend who served a purpose in my life
    Even if at some point — our lives no longer aligned

    I’m still grateful for the good times & the memories left behind

    I’m grateful for the short-lived respect & pure love I received —from my first love
    My impossible baby

    I’m grateful for the amazing son — my second one gave me

    There is so much more to be grateful for
    even from all the worst that were followed by the best

    Or I don’t know — maybe fue al revés

    Either way— I thank you God — My best friend

    May I always be able to shine the light on the better side of perspective

    May I continue to be able to see all the good that still lives within the broken world we currently live in

    May we not only see the trauma we’ve endured through our struggling

    But the perseverance & resilience we received simultaneously

    So for both the good & the bad

    I gotta be grateful for it all — and I am

    BeyondMe

    Voting is open!

    Voting ends March 15, 2024 11:59pm

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    • You have been through so much in your life, and yet your heart is still so warm and loving. That is a gift to yourself and to those around you. While you are grateful for the good and bad, always be most grateful for you. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being part of our family. <3 Lauren

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  • Beyond Me shared a letter in the Group logo of PoetryPoetry group 1 month ago

    Respect 💞

    I told my brother once — who I was dating — & He replied to me

    “I thought you had more self-respect than that”

    Later on in life — I realized — he was right
    
(But it was not my intention)

    For the last 10 yrs — those words have been
engraved in my mind — like a tombstone

    I had a lot of deja-vu signs —

    That led me to believe — him & I were meant to be — but we weren’t tho

    Im sorry — but I mean — come on now 

    He read me — Bible stories & Scriptures 🙏🏽

    I thought — I had self respect — thru a period of time — in the past

    But somewhere — down the line — I lost it

    I like to think — I’m doing better now a days — 
& I can finally say — once again — I have it

    I was just an old soul — in a superficial world
    
withought a strong voice — of her own — to put her foot down

    I was searching for something — in someone else — that was meant to be found — within myself

    But truly — I think— what he said to me — then —
really did help

    I think back on — the first time — I moved out — on my own

    About a year or so — out of an abusive —relationship — with a child of my own

    Things became different — then the life — I envisioned — & it really took a toll

    Lord knows — all I wanted — was a God filled family

    Definitely not — another broken home

    I was readjusting my lenses — to try to understand — & accept my new life — and what happened

    I questioned so much — about myself — & all I believed in

    Every-time I tried to do right — It backfired on me

    & the emotions became — overpowering & depleting

    My first love — was facing a long time — on the other side — & the news of that — was heartbreaking

    We weren’t together at the time — but that’s something — you never wanna hear about —
 your middle school love — from 8th grade

    My second one — was church bound — for a while — long enough to make me smile — & put a ring on it

    We got engaged after 3 months —
 but shortly after that — things changed

    We went from Bible stories to —

    “I hope you die bitch”

    But Ik that — he’s only human — so I try to my best — to forgive him

    He tried to walk down — a Righteous path —
    & a part of me — wants to believe — the intention was pure — and authentic

    But how could he not — go back to the hood
 — when what he thought to be true

    became faker then the streets — he once knew — & tried to get away from

    The pastor — along with his crew — were all
    “wolfs in sheeps clothing”

    Sneaky, deceiving & misguiding —

    Misleading everyone they knew — including you — & I’m sorry

    I had dedicated — several years of my life to God — & he told me — to trust him

    But can you imagine?

    How painful & confusing it was — to have lost — not only my first love — but my second ?

    All while trying — to make the right choices —
    but instead gaining — religious PTSD — in the process ?

    Who was I suppose to turn to — & believe in

    While battling — all these inner demons — & traumas — I was dealing with

    I went thru many — up-down phases — of believing — while simultaneously — grieving

    So I ran away — from my feelings — into the arms of people — I can no longer — even remember

    I gave access to my home — & my temple — & said yes at times — I should have definitely — had said no

    I had a voice of my own — but didn’t know how to use it

    That shits triggering — to remember

    Cause little me — just wanted someone to love — & protect her

    Not realizing then — I was all I ever needed 
— & was looking for

    So I’m thankful — I now — better respect — myself & my temple

    Thankful — I respect my brother — as a father figure — more then I do — a brother

    His opinion — really matters to me — 
So I truly strive — to make him proud

    I’m sorry bro, that back then —

    Your little sister — didn’t know how 🥺

    BeyondMe

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    • Wow! I am so glad you found your voice. It was always there and no you know it is there. I’m proud of you for digging deep and realizing your strength and power. <3 Lauren

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  • I almost cried. Choked up for sure. Beautiful

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  • Vision Reality 🌥️ (Poem—3 parts)

    ……………………………….
    Vision reality — Pt.1✨
    Dreams VS. Vision 💭
    ……………………………….
    Dreams to me—
    are what you see when you’re asleep

    Vision, is what you set goals for—
    to execute & achieve

    I have so many goals in mind
    & I believe what the mind can see—
    you can bring to life

    From Vision to Reality

    But There’s just this little catch though

    Sometimes it feels like it works
    & sometimes—it feels like it don’t

    Sometimes you get to keep somethings
    Sometimes you won’t

    Then there’s times—
    you don’t even get to have it

    Unless it’s in your dreams
    & not reality

    I know at times its felt so real
    But then it quickly disappeared
    Like quick sand slippen thru your hands
    On it went—to never ever land

    At first it hurts so much
    You question everything—including you & your self-worth

    Somethings are just not meant—for you though

    Sometimes it’s just wrong size—
    perhaps wrong address

    Or simply just—
    wrong timing

    Alotta times—
    things tend to look all pretty & shiny ✨

    So much so—
    they can easily become blinding

    From afar they’ll bling —
    attracting anyone & anything

    Just remember—things aren’t always what they seem

    Sometimes the ring don’t fit
    Or your body don’t accept it

    Sometimes I’m allergic
    & my body rejects it

    But with so many options in this world
    Sometimes—
    Just Sometimes—
    Less is more

    But don’t get discouraged—
    I just want you to know

    Worry bout yourself & your home

    Everything else will fall into place for you—along the road

    ……………………………….
    Vision reality — Pt 2. ✨✨
    2024 Goals 📝
    ……………………………….

    So when they ask me about my 2024
    This is what I wrote

    I set some goals
    & I could easily tell you now
    but my goals aren’t for everyone to know
    I would rather show you how

    I rather create my master plan—
    have a talk upstairs w my old man
    Jot them down—
    remember how

    The struggle is real
    but God is Realer

    How—plans are a guide
    But usually never—fully set in stone

    Sometimes you’ll go straight ahead—
    sometimes you detour

    Stay on your toes—
    & ready for redirection

    Cause the time will come—
    when plans ain’t steady

    Sometimes they go south
    Sometimes they’ll go North

    But don’t you worry—just hold tight
    & don’t let go

    Keep in mind—
    there is more than one way—you can go

    Just hand him the wheel—let him steer
    & put your blinders on—
    so you can see clear

    Listen up & listen close
    Be careful with all that—outside noise

    Sometimes his voice can be real quite
    So I do my best—to quite my surroundings

    Cause—
    How I’m suppose to hear him talking—
    while listening to—“Yo Gotti”

    God be tryna reach out to me—
    after me asking him to guide me

    But then—
    I go straight into hiding

    Hiding behind memes & streams—
    that contradict what he believes

    Catch what I’m saying?

    I’m sorry Lord—I’m trying

    I know you know best—
    where I am—where I’m headed
    & what needs—be left—behind me

    Like that one time—
    I had that vision of a business
    But it didn’t make it

    Named it—Vision Reality
    I was so hopeful & determined

    I held on to the idea—for some time
    Tryna not—let go of it

    I paid a lot of money out of pocket
    Until I couldn’t pay—no more of it

    Spent months & months—working on it
    Alot of frustrating late nights—
    that felt like wasted time

    But no time is ever wasted—
    if you chose to learn—from all the unexpected lessons

    I know more now—then I did back then
    & perhaps that—one failed attempt
    will help me—perfect the next
    ……………………………….
    Vision reality — Pt 3. ✨✨✨
    Love Note Back To You 💙
    ……………………………….

    So when I think about 2024
    & my goals I have set forth—
    I write them down & plan ahead
    Always keeping in mind—Remembering

    I’m never fully in charge—
    I’ve never been

    I always wanna be in control
    & I know it’s time—I learn to let go

    Let go—of my so called “Master Plans”
    Lay them down into—the Real Masters Hands

    Let him help me quite all the noise
    Take my lil social media breaks—as needed
    so I can fully hear his voice

    Focus on my own goals & life—
    not just sit back-chillin—
    watching y’all live yours

    Live my life for me
    Remembering—

    Not everything in life—
    needs to be shared
    Not everyone—
    needs to know everything

    W so many distractions—
    It can be easy to be sucked into the madness
    To forget—our own goals & visions

    So I take breaks—when I start to feel low or stagnant
    & I revisit

    Revisit my goals & pray on em’
    Cause soon as I get comfortable—
    i’m uncomfortable again
    knowin I should—be working on the next one

    So I ask him to help me—shut the world out again
    & all it’s nonsense
    To give me back my tunnel vision
    & let me get a lil glimpse of him

    To not let this world stain my lenses
    cause I hate to become blind
    & a prisoner of my own mind
    & rob myself—of my own blessings

    But when everything around me’s—
    fake news
    When everything is wrong—
    that I once thought to be true

    All this & more—can really weigh on me
    & I can’t lie—it can really get depressing

    So I ask my God—
    for some love notes—here & there
    To let me get a glimpse of heaven—
    util I myself—can finally get there

    So for 2024—
    there’s so much—that I plan to do

    Most of all—I just want to become—
    less of me & more of you

    I really love to brag about your love for us
    Cause I wish the world knew—it’s true

    But vise versa—I could never brag about MY love for you

    I know I fail you—every day
    Real quick tho—I just wanna say

    Thank you—Lord
    For your provision & my daily bread

    For the day you told me

    Just hold on—you won’t regret it
    Trust me—I got it

    Cause even though it sometimes hurts—
    I’ll take it

    15 yrs later—You were right
    I don’t regret it

    2024—is yours Lord
    Show me—just what you can do

    I think I’m ready now
    I wanna see you move

    Let’s go—Let’s get it

    God,
    This is My Love Note back to you

    💙🙏🏽

    -BeyondME

    Voting starts March 15, 2024 12:00am

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    • Your writing always is so heartfelt, authentic, and powerful. Keep trusting in God, but more importantly, keep trusting in yourself. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being part of The Unsealed family. <3 Lauren

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  • In This Body Of Mine

    I’ve been feeling so defeated.
    So many emotions bottled up,
    Looking for a healthy way to release it.

    I’ve always loved to write,
    But too afraid to share the feelings I’m feeling.

    Wanting to use my life to make a difference,
    But I’d have to put myself out there,
    For the whole world to see it.

    Too afraid to lose my sense of security,
    I hold on to all that I been through.
    But what good is my pain,
    If it’s not used to help you.

    As the years pass me by,
    Sometimes I feel I’ve lost my purpose.
    Just when I think I’ve got it figured out,
    Here comes life saying,
    “Here, let me show you this.”

    I have to relearn & readjust,
    Every so many years,
    & it’s so exhausting.

    Idk whats right & what’s real,
    Life tends to back out on its word & confuse me foreal.
    Todays healthy, is tomorrows cancer.
    Just when I think I’m headed in the right direction,
    I fall off my track,
    & create a new disaster.

    I never knew how to love myself,
    Even though I really tried.
    My idea of self love backfired on me,
    Time after time.

    Then one day my body gave me no choice but to listen,
    I was barely walking or standing & my mental health was deteriorating.

    I had those thoughts we never talk bout,
    Because I wasn’t living.
    I was glued to my bed,
    Thoughts racing day & night in my head.

    I couldn’t be the mom I wanted to be,
    & above all, I think that’s what broke me.
    So many things combined,
    Made my body explode inside.
    & From there on out,
    I had to say goodbye to the old me.

    Day after day,
    I wake up & go to bed in pain.
    But I try… again & again.
    Whole body screaming,
    “Someone please come & heal me.”

    Slowly but surely, I’m working.
    Hoping to find the remedies to heal all the trauma stored in me.

    I deserve more then self pity.
    I’ve seen ppl worse off,
    living they’re dream.

    It would be so disrespectful,
    Not to do all that I can,
    To feel better.

    I’m hurten,
    but occasionally I hear that voice in my head saying, “I’m worth it.”

    It’s a painfully slow progress,
    But Its said, “slow & steady wins the race.”
    I hear we hold within us & above us,
    All the tools & strength.
    Strength needed to face tomorrow,
    Until you reach the day with no more sorrow.
    Self healing, not self pity,
    Is the motto.

    My body is a powerful place,
    Covered in Gods healing & grace.
    & one day I shall conquer.

    BeyondMe

    Voting is closed

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    • Aww it is never too late to find or pursue your purpose. Keep pushing yourself to love yourself, and enjoy all life has to offer. You are right, slow and steady does win the race. You got this. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being part of our unsealed family. <3 Lauren

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