Activity
-
beyondme submitted a contest entry to
Write a letter or poem to yourself about what you love about this chapter of your life 4 days, 12 hours agoChapt 29
BeyondMeChapter 29
What can I say about this chapter of my life & what I love
This chapter — as many others — has tought me — so so much
Most of all—
It’s taught me to step outside — my comfort zone
Into an — unfamiliar place
Into the — complete — unknownIt’s allowed me to — crawl my way out of
— the abyss& To open my self up — to the world again
It’s taught me — that It’s ok for me — to let you in
& no — it’s not easy to show myself
in my most vulnerable state — it’s never beenTo let you have — a sweet taste
of my most — sour days — can be unsettlingUnsettling — to say the least
Sometimes you can tell still —
when my body’s — tremblingOr when my voice — shakes
But I learned — to simply just
— trust the processin exchange — the power — I’ve gained
Is — CourageWhat I love most about this Chapter — 29 of mine
Is that I finally let go of —
“my perfect plan — & timeline”I learned to finally — resubmit myself — to God
In a way — I hadn’t done — for so longI learned to heal some parts of me — that took me back — to little ol’ me — at 17
Even tho for years — that girl
has been goneI learned to finally give up — trying to be her again
— just wishing & wishing
I know now — I’ll never be that girl again
but I’m no longer trippingI can finally be at peace — to say goodbye to her & recreate myself
Trusting that me at 29 — has already made her proud
So what do I love most about this — Chapter 29 — I ask myself ?
That — a little bit of this
& a little bit of — thatRestored the hope back in my heart — that for years — I have lacked
& that — even on the days
When I felt — most aloneI never truly was — cause God
Neverrrr — Let Me — GoI learned that — when God promised
to make a beautiful story out of meHe in fact — did not fold
Even tho at times — it felt like
my time was being wastedIt was simply just — a beautiful story
— still — in the makingAll I gotta do now — is continue to let him take the lead
& not forget — like Miley Cyrus — always said
— It’s the climbSo I’ll keep on climbing
I’ll be patient Lord 🙏🏽
I’ll let you finish writing ✍️ 🥹Voting starts July 1, 2024 12:00am
-
beyondme submitted a contest entry to
Why do you love yourself? 2 months, 1 weeks agoWhy Do I Love Myself?
BeyondMeI love myself cause God first loved me
I love myself because I didn’t like the old me .
I love myself because I am my longest commitment
But to love myself ain’t all rainbows and butterflies
To love myself means
to lose myself over and over again —in the processI love myself because no one else was up for the challenge
I love myself because I wanna love you better and I can’t without it
I love myself because home should feel safe, freeing, and calming
I love myself because I don’t wanna keep on running
I love myself because I don’t need instant gratification
I love myself because I’m willing to wait and sacrifice for all things meant for me
I love myself because I owe it to myself to say goodbye to the old me
I love myself because I don’t wanna be 35, partying & hoeing
I love myself because I know what I want & I’m determined to work hard & go get it
I love myself because I can apologize when I realize of my wrong doings
I love myself because Depth — is hard to find
& Superficial — is depressing and boring
I love myself because Ik I don’t know it all
& Im willing to continue learningI love myself because I love the world around me
I love myself because I’m humble and loving
I love myself because I want to give back & show my appreciation & gratitude to the one who
—despite my imperfections & flaws—still chooses to love me ❤️🙏🏽
These are some of the reasons why
I love me
Voting is open!
Voting ends May 16, 2024 12:00am
-
Your writing is so heartfelt and so authentic. Your love is powerful. This line stuck out to me a lot “I love myself because I’m willing to wait and sacrifice for all things meant for me” I love that. Your love for yourself will take you to people and places beyond your wildest dreams. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being part of our f…read more
-
Beyond Me,
That was/is very beautiful, impressing, and I actually am trying to write one about me loving myself-just having a hard time…Because I don’t love myself. But all you beautiful artists are encouraging/inspiring me to do so, so thank you from the bottom of my heart, God Bless, and I’m sorry-But I wish I could be with someone like you.…read more
-
I’ve just honestly never had so many thoughts, feelings and emotions to deal with as I do now-and I don’t know how to process them all.
-
-
-
Beyond Me shared a letter in the
Poetry group 2 months, 3 weeks agoHappiness 😊
BeyondMeWhen you think Happiness — What do you see ?
For me — Happiness is a lot of different things
Like finding banana bread in my car from last night
& realizing — hey cool — now I have a midday snack 😋
Happiness is noticing I put my keys on the hook
& the following day not having to run around like a chicken without a head — while I desperately look
Happiness is the days — I wake up to a clean room
& the days my son gets ready — without step by step instruction — on what he needs to do
Happiness is his comical personality —
a free in house comedian — just for mommyHe still cost me a fortune — but that’s ok
Mommy thinks he’s worth itHappiness is arriving to my destination on time
Or watching the kids playing soccer outside
Happiness is a mani pedi night
& tik tok time with my beautiful nieceHappiness is watching lifetime movies
with my mom — (even tho they traumatize me)— Or her guilt-fully admitting to me
she gave a stranger — a good chunk of moneyHappiness looks different for everybody
Some ppl think happiness is only in the future
While others may only see it in the pastThere’s been times — I’ve been both those people
but I no longer wanna be like thatI feel the sooner we learn to release the idea of happiness being anywhere but now
The sooner we unlock the chains — that have held us hostage
& blinded us from the blessings — we currently
have right nowSo I look around at my now — and I think about all the things I currently have — that make me happy
& suddenly the things I don’t yet have — start to slip my mind
Not because I don’t want them anymore
but because obsessing over it — is unhealthySo just incase I start to forget my blessings
I jot them down to revisit them& I remind myself that happiness is not a perfect situation or timeframe
Happiness is a way of liven
So I try to be happy —
minute by minute — hour by hour — day by day
if I have toUntil happy moments
turn into happy days againIk it’s easier said than done
— I also struggle with itSome situations make it hard to live happy each moment
— like a sudden loss or separation
Or being in an abusive relationshipIdentity theft — sudden illnesses — You name it
But I spent a lot of years of life carrying the weight of burdens that weren’t mine to carry
Not because these things didn’t happen to me
— Because they didBut because I tried to control things that were out of my control — instead of letting go
Letting go is hard — I know
But it’s freeing 🦅
So I put my worries up on a shelf — let them worry about themselves
— & redirect my focus to something else
Like listening to my brother telling me — he successfully completed a mission
Wether I’d be — home remodeling
or that he recently replaced a transmissionI don’t understand what he says to me half the time but I’m happy to listen
Happiness is the sun setting in in front my eyes
or in my cars — rear view mirrorHappiness is — long curly hair & colored eyes
on that one stranger — who helped me healHappiness is my sitter & I playing rumikub
Or my sons sister finally telling me — I love you tooHappiness is watching a father interact w his son
& heal the inner child in him — that never had oneHappiness is the smile I see on my granny — while giving her a gel mani
Even more so — watching her regain her strength after amputation — & learning how to walk again w her prosthetic
Happiness is — my friends famous enchiladas
Her venting to me — all pissed off
Or us having a self care day — with an amazing massageHappiness is a good talk with a stranger
Or a God answered prayerAt times — happiness is receiving peace
in exchange for the ones — unansweredHappiness is changing the situation when it no longer makes you happy
Or changing your perspective on it
— if that’s not an optionHappiness is listening to
(Reckless love)Or finding a safe place to express myself & my feelings like — theunsealed.com
Happiness sometimes means to hold on
While other times happinesss means to let go
Happiness may look different for everyone else tho
This is just some of my happiness
summarized into a short little poem 💙 -
Beyond Me responded to a letter in topic Write a poem about what you are grateful for in your life 2 months, 4 weeks ago
Thank you so much Lauren ! 🥹💙
-
beyondme submitted a contest entry to
Write a poem about what you are grateful for in your life 3 months agoGrateful
BeyondMeIt’s easy — isn’t it
To look back on our life & remember all the worst
All the worst times of our life that always seem to come firstLike the first time — I experienced racism
The first time — I experienced bullyingThe first time — my love was used against me
Or the first time — my heart was brokenThere was a lot of first of “THE WORST”
But likewise — there were many first of the bestLike the first time — I got the job I really wanted
Or the first time — I graduatedOr the time I won my first real fight with ease
Or the first time a family member came home from jail surprising meThere’s been a lot of good moments
but I seem to have forgotten a lot of themI’m doing my best now — to live in the present moment
—To soak it all inCause I know there is so much to be grateful for
—There’s always beenLike my mom choosing peace & safety over toxicity — for her children
No matter what — she never let fear stop her
She was unbelievable
She was unstoppableShe did the best she could with the hand she was dealt
Like getting that job that not only paid the bills
but also provided us with a warm free houseOr that one time she pointed out to her lawyer — how she was wrong
That was only one of the many steps she took — to obtain our freedom
I still remember the first time she met my little boyfriend
She offered to give us some money
—then suggested we go to Barnes & Noble
to drink some coffeeAt the time it was so embarrassing—
But looking back now— She’s so funny
We were like 14 — Not 40I still remember — I tried to avoid repeating history
but somehow history didn’t escape meOne day — I had to text my mom discreetly
I asked her to please come save meI won’t go into detail — but that day she rescued me from hell
I remember the times my brother and I would go skating
Or this one time we decided to try out this game — where he had to try to make me pass out
& it actually worked — he did
Except I think he thought he killed me
I don’t know — but that shit is funnySome of them were good memories
& some were bittersweetI wish I could remember them all
but disassociation got the best of meSo here’s a few more that easily come to mind
Like when my first love never made me feel pressured
— Simply lovedOr when my second one spoke a prayer over me
That felt majestic & empowering
— Like freedomOr when my friends and I thought we were cute — walking around the east side
Just waiting on the cute boys to drive by and say hi
Haha— those sure were the good times.
Then there was that time an important figure in my life somehow ended up in jail
Managed to post bail & still make it back in time to my baby showerOr when that amazing teacher who quickly became family
Went out of her way to pick me up for school dailyOr when another amazing teacher who often went above and beyond
Was touched by some writing assignment I did
& surprised me with an unexpected giftSo yeah—
It is easy to remember all the worst — but there is also so much to be grateful for
I’m grateful for every glimpse of heaven I’ve ever received
I’m grateful for a badass mom & her vision to always
Push forward & succeedI’m grateful for the village that helped raise me
I’m grateful for any friend who served a purpose in my life
Even if at some point — our lives no longer alignedI’m still grateful for the good times & the memories left behind
I’m grateful for the short-lived respect & pure love I received —from my first love
My impossible babyI’m grateful for the amazing son — my second one gave me
There is so much more to be grateful for
even from all the worst that were followed by the bestOr I don’t know — maybe fue al revés
Either way— I thank you God — My best friend
May I always be able to shine the light on the better side of perspective
May I continue to be able to see all the good that still lives within the broken world we currently live in
May we not only see the trauma we’ve endured through our struggling
But the perseverance & resilience we received simultaneously
So for both the good & the bad
I gotta be grateful for it all — and I am
Voting is closed
-
You have been through so much in your life, and yet your heart is still so warm and loving. That is a gift to yourself and to those around you. While you are grateful for the good and bad, always be most grateful for you. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being part of our family. <3 Lauren
-
Thank you so much Lauren ! 🥹💙
-
Hey! are you getting my email?
-
-
-
Dear Beyond Me,
Your words are so powerful. You have had a challenging yet good life and your Mom sounds amazing. Continue to be blessed and grateful!Shelley
-
Dear Beyond Me,
Bravo! This poem reminded me of Faiz “My heart, my traveler” and especially of the line “I would gladly welcome death if it were to come but once,” You’re so talented ! Can’t wait to see mroe of your work!
-
-
Beyond Me shared a letter in the
Poetry group 3 months agoRespect 💞
BeyondMeI told my brother once — who I was dating — & He replied to me
“I thought you had more self-respect than that”
Later on in life — I realized — he was right
(But it was not my intention)For the last 10 yrs — those words have been engraved in my mind — like a tombstone
I had a lot of deja-vu signs —
That led me to believe — him & I were meant to be — but we weren’t tho
Im sorry — but I mean — come on now
He read me — Bible stories & Scriptures 🙏🏽I thought — I had self respect — thru a period of time — in the past
But somewhere — down the line — I lost it
I like to think — I’m doing better now a days — & I can finally say — once again — I have it
I was just an old soul — in a superficial world
withought a strong voice — of her own — to put her foot downI was searching for something — in someone else — that was meant to be found — within myself
But truly — I think— what he said to me — then — really did help
I think back on — the first time — I moved out — on my own
About a year or so — out of an abusive —relationship — with a child of my own
Things became different — then the life — I envisioned — & it really took a toll
Lord knows — all I wanted — was a God filled family
Definitely not — another broken home
I was readjusting my lenses — to try to understand — & accept my new life — and what happened
I questioned so much — about myself — & all I believed in
Every-time I tried to do right — It backfired on me
& the emotions became — overpowering & depleting
My first love — was facing a long time — on the other side — & the news of that — was heartbreaking
We weren’t together at the time — but that’s something — you never wanna hear about — your middle school love — from 8th grade
My second one — was church bound — for a while — long enough to make me smile — & put a ring on it
We got engaged after 3 months — but shortly after that — things changed
We went from Bible stories to —
“I hope you die bitch”But Ik that — he’s only human — so I try to my best — to forgive him
He tried to walk down — a Righteous path —
& a part of me — wants to believe — the intention was pure — and authenticBut how could he not — go back to the hood — when what he thought to be true
became faker then the streets — he once knew — & tried to get away from
The pastor — along with his crew — were all
“wolfs in sheeps clothing”Sneaky, deceiving & misguiding —
Misleading everyone they knew — including you — & I’m sorry
I had dedicated — several years of my life to God — & he told me — to trust him
But can you imagine?
How painful & confusing it was — to have lost — not only my first love — but my second ?
All while trying — to make the right choices —
but instead gaining — religious PTSD — in the process ?Who was I suppose to turn to — & believe in
While battling — all these inner demons — & traumas — I was dealing with
I went thru many — up-down phases — of believing — while simultaneously — grieving
So I ran away — from my feelings — into the arms of people — I can no longer — even remember
I gave access to my home — & my temple — & said yes at times — I should have definitely — had said no
I had a voice of my own — but didn’t know how to use it
That shits triggering — to remember
Cause little me — just wanted someone to love — & protect her
Not realizing then — I was all I ever needed — & was looking for
So I’m thankful — I now — better respect — myself & my temple
Thankful — I respect my brother — as a father figure — more then I do — a brother
His opinion — really matters to me — So I truly strive — to make him proud
I’m sorry bro, that back then —
Your little sister — didn’t know how 🥺
-
Beyond Me responded to a letter in topic What are your goals for the new year? 3 months, 2 weeks ago
I almost cried. Choked up for sure. Beautiful
-
beyondme submitted a contest entry to
What are your goals for the new year? 3 months, 2 weeks agoVision Reality 🌥️ (Poem—3 parts)
-BeyondME……………………………….
Vision reality — Pt.1✨
Dreams VS. Vision 💭
……………………………….
Dreams to me—
are what you see when you’re asleepVision, is what you set goals for—
to execute & achieveI have so many goals in mind
& I believe what the mind can see—
you can bring to lifeFrom Vision to Reality
But There’s just this little catch though
Sometimes it feels like it works
& sometimes—it feels like it don’tSometimes you get to keep somethings
Sometimes you won’tThen there’s times—
you don’t even get to have itUnless it’s in your dreams
& not realityI know at times its felt so real
But then it quickly disappeared
Like quick sand slippen thru your hands
On it went—to never ever landAt first it hurts so much
You question everything—including you & your self-worthSomethings are just not meant—for you though
Sometimes it’s just wrong size—
perhaps wrong addressOr simply just—
wrong timingAlotta times—
things tend to look all pretty & shiny ✨So much so—
they can easily become blindingFrom afar they’ll bling —
attracting anyone & anythingJust remember—things aren’t always what they seem
Sometimes the ring don’t fit
Or your body don’t accept itSometimes I’m allergic
& my body rejects itBut with so many options in this world
Sometimes—
Just Sometimes—
Less is moreBut don’t get discouraged—
I just want you to knowWorry bout yourself & your home
Everything else will fall into place for you—along the road
……………………………….
Vision reality — Pt 2. ✨✨
2024 Goals 📝
……………………………….So when they ask me about my 2024
This is what I wroteI set some goals
& I could easily tell you now
but my goals aren’t for everyone to know
I would rather show you howI rather create my master plan—
have a talk upstairs w my old man
Jot them down—
remember howThe struggle is real
but God is RealerHow—plans are a guide
But usually never—fully set in stoneSometimes you’ll go straight ahead—
sometimes you detourStay on your toes—
& ready for redirectionCause the time will come—
when plans ain’t steadySometimes they go south
Sometimes they’ll go NorthBut don’t you worry—just hold tight
& don’t let goKeep in mind—
there is more than one way—you can goJust hand him the wheel—let him steer
& put your blinders on—
so you can see clearListen up & listen close
Be careful with all that—outside noiseSometimes his voice can be real quite
So I do my best—to quite my surroundingsCause—
How I’m suppose to hear him talking—
while listening to—“Yo Gotti”God be tryna reach out to me—
after me asking him to guide meBut then—
I go straight into hidingHiding behind memes & streams—
that contradict what he believesCatch what I’m saying?
I’m sorry Lord—I’m trying
I know you know best—
where I am—where I’m headed
& what needs—be left—behind meLike that one time—
I had that vision of a business
But it didn’t make itNamed it—Vision Reality
I was so hopeful & determinedI held on to the idea—for some time
Tryna not—let go of itI paid a lot of money out of pocket
Until I couldn’t pay—no more of itSpent months & months—working on it
Alot of frustrating late nights—
that felt like wasted timeBut no time is ever wasted—
if you chose to learn—from all the unexpected lessonsI know more now—then I did back then
& perhaps that—one failed attempt
will help me—perfect the next
……………………………….
Vision reality — Pt 3. ✨✨✨
Love Note Back To You 💙
……………………………….So when I think about 2024
& my goals I have set forth—
I write them down & plan ahead
Always keeping in mind—RememberingI’m never fully in charge—
I’ve never beenI always wanna be in control
& I know it’s time—I learn to let goLet go—of my so called “Master Plans”
Lay them down into—the Real Masters HandsLet him help me quite all the noise
Take my lil social media breaks—as needed
so I can fully hear his voiceFocus on my own goals & life—
not just sit back-chillin—
watching y’all live yoursLive my life for me
Remembering—Not everything in life—
needs to be shared
Not everyone—
needs to know everythingW so many distractions—
It can be easy to be sucked into the madness
To forget—our own goals & visionsSo I take breaks—when I start to feel low or stagnant
& I revisitRevisit my goals & pray on em’
Cause soon as I get comfortable—
i’m uncomfortable again
knowin I should—be working on the next oneSo I ask him to help me—shut the world out again
& all it’s nonsense
To give me back my tunnel vision
& let me get a lil glimpse of himTo not let this world stain my lenses
cause I hate to become blind
& a prisoner of my own mind
& rob myself—of my own blessingsBut when everything around me’s—
fake news
When everything is wrong—
that I once thought to be trueAll this & more—can really weigh on me
& I can’t lie—it can really get depressingSo I ask my God—
for some love notes—here & there
To let me get a glimpse of heaven—
util I myself—can finally get thereSo for 2024—
there’s so much—that I plan to doMost of all—I just want to become—
less of me & more of youI really love to brag about your love for us
Cause I wish the world knew—it’s trueBut vise versa—I could never brag about MY love for you
I know I fail you—every day
Real quick tho—I just wanna sayThank you—Lord
For your provision & my daily breadFor the day you told me
Just hold on—you won’t regret it
Trust me—I got itCause even though it sometimes hurts—
I’ll take it15 yrs later—You were right
I don’t regret it2024—is yours Lord
Show me—just what you can doI think I’m ready now
I wanna see you moveLet’s go—Let’s get it
God,
This is My Love Note back to you💙🙏🏽
Voting is closed
-
beyondme submitted a contest entry to
Write a letter or poem to your Body 10 months agoIn This Body Of Mine
BeyondMeI’ve been feeling so defeated.
So many emotions bottled up,
Looking for a healthy way to release it.I’ve always loved to write,
But too afraid to share the feelings I’m feeling.Wanting to use my life to make a difference,
But I’d have to put myself out there,
For the whole world to see it.Too afraid to lose my sense of security,
I hold on to all that I been through.
But what good is my pain,
If it’s not used to help you.As the years pass me by,
Sometimes I feel I’ve lost my purpose.
Just when I think I’ve got it figured out,
Here comes life saying,
“Here, let me show you this.”I have to relearn & readjust,
Every so many years,
& it’s so exhausting.Idk whats right & what’s real,
Life tends to back out on its word & confuse me foreal.
Todays healthy, is tomorrows cancer.
Just when I think I’m headed in the right direction,
I fall off my track,
& create a new disaster.I never knew how to love myself,
Even though I really tried.
My idea of self love backfired on me,
Time after time.Then one day my body gave me no choice but to listen,
I was barely walking or standing & my mental health was deteriorating.I had those thoughts we never talk bout,
Because I wasn’t living.
I was glued to my bed,
Thoughts racing day & night in my head.I couldn’t be the mom I wanted to be,
& above all, I think that’s what broke me.
So many things combined,
Made my body explode inside.
& From there on out,
I had to say goodbye to the old me.Day after day,
I wake up & go to bed in pain.
But I try… again & again.
Whole body screaming,
“Someone please come & heal me.”Slowly but surely, I’m working.
Hoping to find the remedies to heal all the trauma stored in me.I deserve more then self pity.
I’ve seen ppl worse off,
living they’re dream.It would be so disrespectful,
Not to do all that I can,
To feel better.I’m hurten,
but occasionally I hear that voice in my head saying, “I’m worth it.”It’s a painfully slow progress,
But Its said, “slow & steady wins the race.”
I hear we hold within us & above us,
All the tools & strength.
Strength needed to face tomorrow,
Until you reach the day with no more sorrow.
Self healing, not self pity,
Is the motto.My body is a powerful place,
Covered in Gods healing & grace.
& one day I shall conquer.Voting is closed
-
Aww it is never too late to find or pursue your purpose. Keep pushing yourself to love yourself, and enjoy all life has to offer. You are right, slow and steady does win the race. You got this. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being part of our unsealed family. <3 Lauren
-
