I love how I persevere
Through the hardest days filled with endless tears
I don’t lose to my fears
I’ve been overcoming depression for 20+ years
I find gems to be grateful for
I feel my feelings rather than ignore
I can do hard things
I’ve done a number before
My poetry prowess is a gift
In general, I’m a talented writer
The way I excel at academia
Despite my mental health struggles, I am definitely a fighter
I share my emotions freely
The act is freeing
I connect with others showing them they’re not alone
I’m open and honest
My hardships I own
I maintain loving friendships
With the sweetest humans
I consistently fight my winter blues demons
I find delight in existing
And search for joy throughout my day
I am lovable
I am beautiful
I am going to be okay
I love that I am hilarious
and have an amazing heart
I am proud of my intelligence
and my passion to create art
I really love your use of words. This poem has such a nice flow to it and is very easy to connect with. I love the lines “I am lovable
I am beautiful
I am going to be okay”
You reminded me that I’m to be okay too, and it’s very powerful to be able to tell a story in a way that makes people feel your feelings with you.
The tears are ferocious
The days feel meaningless
I realize I’m in a rut where
everything seems pointless
I’m not sure how I will find
purpose or joy again
But I am being gentle with myself
as I navigate that journey
I made it to a new year
I am here
Awww Jordan. Please be kind to yourself. Slowly but surely look for and lean into anything and anyone who brings you joy. There is happiness out there waiting for you, and this year I believe you can and will go and grab it. <3 Lauren
“Grandma Thelma”
written 20 October 2023
by Jordan Taylor Bradford
* Trigger warning: mentions suicidal ideation
In the cozy light of my lamp,
with the cold morning
showing through my window,
I thought of butterflies
Since age 15, I have planned
a butterfly tattoo for Grandma Thelma
She fucking loved butterflies!
They way her face would light
when she saw a beautiful butterfly
Filled with sheer delight
and the absolute certainty
that there was beauty in the world
Gim always found beauty,
and she shared it with me openly
Look at that hummingbird!
She’d exclaim, with the expression of a child on Christmas morning
In the darkest of my childhood times,
when I would say with certainty
that I would take my own life,
Grandma Thelma got the message through to me
That suicide is never the answer
I tend to default
to it being my answer,
but then I hear Gim –
her voice filled with love
and a stern concern –
telling me “No, baby.”
From her, I learned
that to be a lady,
especially a black one,
meant that you were like the sun:
Strong, strongest woman I ever knew
Wise and smart with the absolute biggest heart
and the darkest humor in tow
For life showed her
the darkest of times,
the blackest of days and nights
Even in the utter black,
Grandma always found a nightlight
So when my soul fills with fright,
When depression steals my delight,
I will find a nightlight
and see a butterfly:
Grandma Turtle,
Thelma Jackson Bradford
Jordan, your poem was so heartfelt. I loved how you called your grandmother, Gim. The imagery of the nightlight was moving and brought the poem full circle for me. Thank you for sharing your work.
Pretty Dee, this is such a pretty and inspiring poem! I love how you share your love of the rain, as well as an alternative take on the sun. Rain is my favourite weather!
Wow. Malia Bert, that was beautiful. Each stanza was my favourite until the next stanza. What a powerful progression. I especially love letting wholesome-ness and messiness coexist. And how you address humanness.
I really love this, TP_Poet! I love how you traveled through time with this poem and how you brought in science references (something I don’t usually think of when I think of poetry. I love the alliteration you use. My favourite lines are: “You better write in light and scribe in darkness.” & “Write in colors and hues; in emotions and moods; in rhythms and times; and then…” This is such a beautiful poem! I am in awe.
I have always wanted to be unapologetically myself
And I would say I was,
Yet I would find myself apologizing for existing
Apologizing and resisting
Doing what I truly wanted
What my heart of hearts yearned for
I want to be famous, and myself
You are a household name
I want to be like you,
I want everything I have to be earned
To put all the years of school
and life lessons I learned
To positive use
to make a legendary impact
to inspire future and former generations alike
to follow their dreams
and keep their heart intact
Dropping out of grad school
wasn’t a waste.
While it drained my finances,
it makes me who I am today:
someone whose heart dances
with joy and delight, rage and depression alike
Excitement, obsession, and envy despite
Being so magnificently me
So powerful on my own
Even more so when I’m not alone
I am beautiful and strong –
Words I vehemently denied for so long
I want to be ethereal like you
So delicate and seemingly too light to be true
I am well on my way
to becoming Myself today
I eat for energy and happiness
which is a long way
from the darkest depths of my eating disorders
That I am overcoming each day
I indulge in
the meditative and physical aspects of yoga
as privileges, rather than
“must-do tasks”
Because it is an honour
that I get to ask
My body to take a breath,
take a break
I am *mostly*
no longer someone I hate
I am like you,
I am whole and real
When I feel my feelings,
I mean I really FEEL
and that makes my heart happy
Along my journey to heal
Aww Jordan! You are whole. You are so strong. And your soul is beautiful. Never apologize for yourself. Degrees are great, but there are always other ways to reach your goal. And the more you let yourself feel, the more you will be inspired. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being part of The Unsealed family. <3 Lauren