In his arms, the world aligns just right,
A place where heartbeats synchronize in the quiet night.
The hustle fades, the stress melts away,
In his arms, it’s easier to face the day.

Under open skies or beneath the city lights,
His embrace cuts through the coldest nights.
A gentle strength, a quiet might,
With him, even the darkest moments become light.

Time softens its relentless march,
In his arms, there’s no need to guard my heart.
A soft touch, a steady hand,
In his hold, I truly understand.

Each worry lifts, each fear retreats,
In his arms, life feels complete.
He’s the calm when life gets tough,
In his arms, I have more than enough.

No place else I’d rather be,
Than here with him, where I’m free to be me.
All that’s gentle, all that’s warm,
I find right here, safely wrapped in his arms.

In the vast silence where words once failed,
Among shadows where fears prevailed,
You, so young with steps unsure,
A silent fighter, pure and demure.

Born into a world unkind, you struggled to find your voice,
A journey not chosen, but imposed without a choice.
Nonverbal, delayed, they labeled you, placing limits they saw fit,
But even without words, your spirit refused to quit.

Taunted and teased, a playground’s cruel jest,
The bullies and mockers putting courage to the test.
Harsh boundaries crossed, a young heart betrayed,
In those silent battles, your resilience was displayed.

From the depths of these trials, your mission took root,
A desire to shield others from the oppressor’s boot.
With every tear shed, a resolve grew within,
To fight for those silenced, a war you could win.

Now, your voice is finding its mighty roar,
Speaking out for justice, opening new doors.
Each injustice you faced fuels your fervent plea,
Advocating for change, setting the silenced free.

The pain once endured now powers your cause,
Championing rights without a pause.
With each step forward, you reclaim your might,
Turning darkness encountered into future bright.

So march on, unbroken, with your head held high,
Proud of the battles fought, under life’s gray sky.
Creating a world kinder, just, and true,
From the ashes of your past, the best of you anew.

With courage and love, stronger than ever before,
Your journey from silence has opened the door.
You’re not just surviving; you are setting the pace,
For a world that sees all, beyond any disability’s trace.

With love and pride,
Your older self, unbroken and proud.

Dear Unsealers,

This is my answer to the question in the challenge…

When and where do I feel most at peace?

As the sun rises over the Canyon of Heroes
It’s the start of the work week

But before I arrive at the office
There’s something that I need to do
The Monday morning ritual

As I take my seat in the cafe at 4 Liberty Street
I see the heart in my Matcha Latte

At the first sip, the world stands still
Only the daylight can be seen

None of the world’s troubles matter
With each extra sip, I feel warmed bliss

When the bottom of the cup is reached
I can take on the slings and arrows of the day

Hello world, I know you are probably wondering how’s life, what’s going on, what has been happening to me. We are beauty, We are one with ourselves without a doubt. Let’s begin to be in a world surrounded with true loving inspirational humans. To go through this chapter with no regret. I’m living life as time goes by with ambition, and conquering fears. I can be myself with no judgement. No fear or care of judgement from strangers who mean so little. I stand up for myself not so timid. Eighteen year old me was not ready for who i am today. I’m a published author now who knew that would be happen, I accomplished I’m very gratefully eccentric . I love myself finally after 22 years of not. I sang karaoke with the love of my life in front of an audience. I was confident I’m proud of that. I’m joyful, in love, and all i see are the beauty of everything around me. I met the most beautiful woman I’m spending the rest of my life with, She’s my always and forever & I couldn’t ask for anyone better than her. She’s my person, whom i can be vulnerable with always. To Mi Amor, the New job, The New opportunities , The New Special Memories I adore you. I’m looking forward to chapter 23!!! As we continue the journey, we now embrace life no longer dread it. I feel it, the wind from the trees everything so beautiful from the rustle of leaves, feel the ground beneath my fee ,the clouds moving slowly but surely, the stars shining brighter than ever before, to finally just get in touch with mother nature herself has truly been Exceptional. Who i am today & Who i was before i see the change ,the growth just to make it here. I know now that all the struggle & obstacles I’ve been through had to happen for me to be the beautiful, strong intelligent woman i am now & now i know that i have always been strong, I just couldn’t see the strength in me till now & for that i smile at this twenty-second chapter of my life.

Chapter 29

What can I say about this chapter of my life & what I love

This chapter — as many others — has tought me — so so much

Most of all—

It’s taught me to step outside — my comfort zone

Into an — unfamiliar place
Into the — complete — unknown

It’s allowed me to — crawl my way out of
— the abyss

& To open my self up — to the world again

It’s taught me — that It’s ok for me — to let you in

& no — it’s not easy to show myself
in my most vulnerable state — it’s never been

To let you have — a sweet taste
of my most — sour days — can be unsettling

Unsettling — to say the least

Sometimes you can tell still —
when my body’s — trembling

Or when my voice — shakes

But I learned — to simply just
— trust the process

in exchange — the power — I’ve gained
Is — Courage

What I love most about this Chapter — 29 of mine

Is that I finally let go of —
“my perfect plan — & timeline”

I learned to finally — resubmit myself — to God
In a way — I hadn’t done — for so long

I learned to heal some parts of me — that took me back — to little ol’ me — at 17

Even tho for years — that girl
has been gone

I learned to finally give up — trying to be her again

— just wishing & wishing

I know now — I’ll never be that girl again
but I’m no longer tripping

I can finally be at peace — to say goodbye to her & recreate myself

Trusting that me at 29 — has already made her proud

So what do I love most about this — Chapter 29 — I ask myself ?

That — a little bit of this
& a little bit of — that

Restored the hope back in my heart — that for years — I have lacked

& that — even on the days
When I felt — most alone

I never truly was — cause God
Neverrrr — Let Me — Go

I learned that — when God promised
to make a beautiful story out of me

He in fact — did not fold

Even tho at times — it felt like
my time was being wasted

It was simply just — a beautiful story
— still — in the making

All I gotta do now — is continue to let him take the lead

& not forget — like Miley Cyrus — always said
— It’s the climb

So I’ll keep on climbing

I’ll be patient Lord 🙏🏽
I’ll let you finish writing ✍️ 🥹

While this is the 29th chapter that has been written
It’s the first of its kind.

The others
They’re full of marks and underlines

Edits from others
Rewrites from me, however everyone else wanted the character to be

I began writing my story
In 2022

I wrote and I wrote
motifs with new views

Guardedly crafting every line
I picked some new characters
Tried out some new styles

Had a litany of editors
To re-read every other line

This is chapter 29
The first of its kind

I’ve retired my editors
Publish without a reread
I’m not afraid of spelling errors
Their a part of me

If you don’t like my book
You don’t have to read
I write what I need

This chapter is meaningful
It;s authentically me.

In the bloom of youth, we tread a path unsure,
Early twenties, where dreams and doubts endure.
With passion ablaze and aspirations high,
We chase dream that we hope take flight.

Through freedom, we find our stride,
Exploring the world, with nothing to hide.
Yet shadows linger, whispers of the past,
Reminders of moments too fleeting to last.

In this chapter of life, a tale unfolds,
Of lessons learned, and stories yet untold.
We stumble, we rise, in this journey we roam,
In our early twenties, we seek our home.

So embrace the chaos, the laughter, and tears,
For in this moment, we conquer our fears.
In the canvas of youth, let our colors unfurl,
In the canvas of youth, let’s paint our world.

This is the chapter where she sheds the guilt and shame.
Giving unconditional love to the dark, wounded parts, as that is what they craved all along.
Releasing any feelings of unworthiness or self-loathing that reside in the shadows,
Removing what was never hers to hold, and making room for the blessings that await.

This is the chapter where she loves herself deeply and unapologetically.
Embracing the flaws and recognizing the true beauty of the human body.
Sitting in the imperfections and releasing all negative thoughts and beliefs,
Refreshing her view of the miracle she is- a living vessel of life and love.

This is the chapter where she steps into her power.
Letting go of the perfectionism and fawning tendencies that once kept her imprisoned.
Instead, she steps into authenticity and embraces every inch of her mind,
Allowing herself to lean into the childlike joy that arises when she sees signs from her angels.

This is her chapter.
She writes the story and creates the reality she desires.
She prioritizes joy and rest, as she knows she is deserving of happiness.
She counts her blessings, soaks in the love around her, and expels light wherever she goes.

Look at you go, man. You know, it wasn’t all that long ago that the only thing you could thin about was drugs and how miserable life was. You blamed everything on others, and couldn’t figure out why nothing ever seemed to go your way. Then, when things wouldn’t go your way, or you faced an instance of adversity, or even just a new experience, you would hide from it, and seek temporary pleasure.

On a much brighter note, throughout all of this, you kept the best attitude you could, and still made it a point to do your best to be a giver to those around you. Hey, we live and we learn.

I’m not writing this to you to beat you down or shame you (you used to do that to the extent of causing yourself to completely shutdown), in fact, it’s quite the opposite. I want to write to you about what I’m loving about this current chapter of my life.

Every now and again, you get a little overwhelmed, and that’s okay. You get overwhelmed with the seemingly daunting tasks you’re taking on while telling nobody. You’re courageously advancing yourself toward crushing all these new experiences as they come. You’ve been doing this for quite some time now, helping you incrementally build your self confidence. I’m here to tell you that you may feel overwhelmed because you have everything you’ve ever wanted and you’re just unsure as to handle it. Nonetheless, you’re handling it.

You’ve built yourself to the point you’re miles above where you first started this journey. I say this with humility and seriousness all at once: I’m beyond proud of you.

You’ve met and partnered with a young lady who believes in you (maybe even more than you believe in yourself, which is quite a bit) and pushes you to succeed. She enjoys the small things you do. She enjoys the way you make her laugh. She admires you for the things you’ve been through and came out on top. Best of all, you enjoy these very same things, as she does them for you also.

You are way less sad than you have been in a long, long time. You’re able to just be yourself, more so than ever, and she loves this about you. It’s also good for you. She actually cares to understand all the ideas you run by her. She doesn’t mind the noise you make when you fill the air with your words. She doesn’t even mind it when you practice your guitar or drums. You gotta admit, that’s pretty cool.

Anyway, I can’t discuss in full detail all the great things you’re doing and continue to accomplish. You’re happier in this chapter because you’ve finally made it a point to push yourself and those around you to do great things, and it feels RIGHT. You love yourself again, and you’ve realized that even though you may be alone, you’re not ALONE.

I hope as the chapters continue for you, you’ll find your way closer and closer to where you’re headed. Keep moving with love. It looks good on you.

Hurt and broken
I could not see.
No more taking
only giving.
I’m now the king
loved and adored.
Patient, obscured.
Like a driftwood
Now found ashore.
I’ve left behind
bad parts of me.
Rising above
so found and free.
At a stalemate
I fought myself
at rock bottom.
Now, at the top
we always say,
“Don’t you worry,
yeah we got ’em”.
Experience
built, never bought.
lessons they’ve taught.
From good to bad
and bad to good.
On second thought
although I should,
a favorite
experience
I have not got.
Learn from them all,
That’s what I’s taught.

Not all changes in your life will seem like a good thing until you gain some clarity. Some life changes will alter you in unexpected ways where you feel that you will never recover and that its life shattering revelations seem to define you in unexpected ways. You can’t see the future into the unknowns where you confidently know the events unraveling would actually change your life for the better. At the time you feel like you will never recover. Your so deep into trying to process the unfolding series of revelations you can’t see how these moments and challenges are setting you up for success! The challenges with accepting or embracing the changing moments coming at you can seem life shattering! They simply don’t seem as a necessary purging of old habits or crutches you counted on in order to make you feel comfortable in your circumstances. You should grieve the loss of what could have been. You should I process and embrace the waves or tsunamis of feelings that catch you fully by surprise!

For me, the day I found out I was pregnant with my daughter at the age of 21 was one of those moments where life changed me for the better! I had this preconceived theory that I would I never be a mom. In fact, I had already aligned myself into believing that being a mom, for me would be toxic for any child. I didn’t have a healthy role model in my own mother that made me want to be a mom. Some events that happen to us are seared into our brains where after many years, you still remember exactly where you were, what you were wearing, and weird details that you just cannot shake off! February 2nd, 2002, I was having a heated argument with a family member who was eating in front of me and I felt a wave of nausea that hit me in a way I had never experienced before. I was also late. I was in denial that the first test was accurate and after buying so many pregnancy tests to confirm that I was indeed pregnant, I still didn’t tell anyone. Those two lines on each test confines my worst fear, I was pregnant! I had been on the pill and we actively used condoms. I knew the father wouldn’t be a good partner or father, but I felt stuck. I felt so stuck to abide by the status quo of our families that I shut down and the flood of events that would follow for the next few months hit me like waves crashing into the jetty and I was the rocks trying to brace for impact. I just went through the motions. When I really started to tell people what was happening they all seemed to know I had been carrying a baby and yet said nothing. Later, I would discover that they knew because I was puking all of the time and looked different. I felt different but did not realize anyone else could see that about me. At the time, I thought I had truly kept my secret hidden. Now, that seems laughable to me. It’s funny how time and distance changes your perspectives. At the time I simply couldn’t see past my uncertainties and insecurities of becoming a mom. The following events from the discovery of my pregnancy to feeling forced to marry a man who spent our wedding to get drunk and party rather than start a new chapter as man and wife, I was so utterly enmeshed into denial that things wouldn’t work. The intertwining of emotions were so confusing to me. Rather than continue to be the kind of mom who made the world revolve around me, I decide to go on a different path. Instead of wallowing in my insecurities at the impending lifelong responsibilites, I focused on breaking generational curses within my family’s construct to being the best mom a little girl never asked for. I felt this increasing anxiety that my daughter would hate me and would discover I was a mother fraud. That she would instantly know I was never meant to be a mom. Fortunately, that didn’t happen. Instead, we grew up together. I learned how to be a mom and she was the best teacher I have ever had the honor of learning from. The day my beautiful daughter was born I instantly fell in love with this tiny human who I haven’t been able to stop staring at for the last 21 years of my life. I remember staring at her nonstop for the first few weeks. That was when being in awe of her began. Her being 21 has been a full circle moment where I see that I was absolutely over time was meant to be her mom. I still stare at this beautiful young woman who is still teaching me how to be a better mom all the time! She is the best of me. She is the best of herself. Though my marriage to her father ended that only made our bond as mother and daughter even stronger. She is most marvelous thing I have ever had the honor to create with the exception of her brother Who is also amazing! I am honored that she chose me to nurture her from a baby to an adult. I am so honored that I was chosen to be her mom!

We have the opportunity to face challenges and events that change us into something that can majorly transform our lives for the better if only at times we get out of our own way. Although becoming pregnant when I was just a baby adult that time in my life seemed overwhelmingly daunting at the time! Time, distance, and perspective have led me to embrace that I wouldn’t change the events that brought me to being a part of her life! Having my daughter is the best time thing with the exception of her baby brother that completely changed my life for the better! I am an absolutely better person for becoming a mom to these two loves of my life!

2 months before walking down the aisle

2 years after saying “yes I will marry you”

12 years after saying “yes, I’ll be your girlfriend”

I said “We can’t get married”

I loved you more than I loved myself
I thought that you loved me that way too
I grieved hard the next year believing you didn’t love me
I realized you loved me the way you knew how.
You loved how I treated you, how I made you feel, how I helped you grow.
I thought that was love.

2 weeks spent packing up the apartment we lived in together

2 hours spent moving boxes with my best friend and dad

2 eyes I had never seen before while you watched as I left.

I reflected and admitted that I didn’t know who I was;
tried new things and spent time with new friends,
started up old things and spent time with old friends.
I spent time by myself, with my old self and new, learning who I was.

3 weeks after moving out you crossed a set boundary

3 times I had to practice staying strong and upholding it

3 months you didn’t pay rent on lease you chose to keep and refuse to take my name off

I grieved, I cried.
I felt stupid and ashamed
I felt taken advantage of and small
You didn’t get what you wanted. I didn’t give in.

4 months into 29 years of life

4 months into a new relationship

12 months after saying “we can’t get married”

I love myself more than anything else
I am loved the way I deserve to be loved
I’ve grieved that I have accepted less. I’ve learned that all of me is loveable.
I’ve grieved that I learned that it was okay to accept less.

2 times a month I see a therapist; I’m learning to trust myself

2 months from now I will have lived on my own in a new city for a year.

12 years from now I don’t know where I’ll be but I will forever be grateful for the things I learned along the way.

I said “we can’t get married” and I changed my world.

Mornings are that rough snooze I barely miss. It’s the
huge stretch after knees crack to remind me age is but a
loose sound of movement. It’s a dragging feeling, a
reminder to when my laughter teased Father Time.
It is peaceful, knowing my mental foundation wasn’t a pretty
make over but these years of painful lessons I massage into
my seasons, and when I fall, I’m quick to spring back to my
youthful visage. I mean, winter brings pain, the death of
beauty and the crystallization of movement. Yet summer can
always be seen stretching my soul like it’s uplifted. One
moment I hyperventilate the other I’m free falling to the
bottom of freedoms pool of love. A love for the sensation of
old age being the companion I’ve wanted since my youth.
These astral phases become astral projections of the peace that
I recall seeing. This Growth is the key to my happiness, it’s
the years which times before turned the sun dial and I became
the time father dreamed of.

Distant:

While it seemed as if the world was falling apart, In 2020, the deepest parts of myself were drastically coming together.

Strikingly, my spiritual reawakening shifted the entire trajectory of my perspective, including everything else that slowly led to this rare occurrence.

All within that same year, I had an epiphany that came to pass nearly a year later… When a close friend of mine had just moved to Texas, somehow I intuitively felt that I was soon going to as well. Although, I had never been there or even thought about it prior.

To some degree, it was beautiful to share this news with close relatives about all that I was experiencing spiritually and planning to do.

That still came with some disheartening moments and conversations. No one else fully understood or related to me and I had to accept that they may never will.

Instant:

In 2021, The opportunity finally presented itself. I was asked if I would like to move to Texas and take the leap of fate as my best friend’s roommate… and I did!

With the expectation to do Real Estate, I had no clue what would unfold there. But, I moved from Michigan with only $1k saved for my road trip and received angel numbers reassuring me I would be assisted with everything else I needed. The divine used strangers, signs, and miracles from every angle.

I had never driven a U-Haul before then. Ironically, there was a shortage going on at the time. I had to drive a 20″ truck, which was very intimidating!!! While prepping for the move there, my best friend offered to fly in to drive with me towards my new destination.

It was one of the BEST things I could have EVER done. It has created literal direction and purpose (for each area of my life).

I was able to dive deeper into my healing journey. All while closely reevaluating my life and where I truly desired to, which seemed to have been a challenging journey before and throughout arriving there.

Comfort:

After living in Texas for almost two years, I am forever grateful for all of my learning experiences there. It felt like some sacred spiritual retreat for both of us to be present and within our freedom. I loved it! It has helped shape me while experiencing the purest joy, even during occasional harsh storms of other emotions.

I’ve had to make peace with the sacrifices I have made throughout this path… Letting go of old friends, distancing from toxic family members, being willing to be somewhat isolated for deeper introspection, and going to lengths without a set income, to name a few.

Throughout my life, I haven’t felt as connected to seeing anything regarding purpose within jobs, schooling, and other things.

However, I undeniably committed to follow through. It’s been nothing short of a blessing to receive the exchange of what’s on the other side of it… Unlimited possibility.

Many things in life come at the cost of facing many truths, changes and growing while in some uncomfortable moments.

Although I am unchanged at the core, I’ve grown so much as a being! This happens to be a lifelong journey I am willing to go the distance to explore.

I DON’T HAVE PTSD
[in Southernspeak]

When I wake up in the mornin’
most any day
everything isn’t broken
lying about in ashen heaps, the smell
his buddies dead or dyin’
one smokin’ wheel of the sideways chopper still turnin’.

I can have
an already-always appreciation
of a new day. Most any mornin’
rain, or sun peering at me
there’s blue sky in between the clouds
and the coffee is good.

I don’t have to clean up empties
or wipe up dog poo cause I didn’t let it out
in time
that time of not bein’ to forget, all encompassing.

My good friend has it tho
and it never fully leaves him
the self recrimination either
whar forgiveness ain’t
nor the compassion jus’ be missin’
he fight this time an’ next for the clear blue.

My friend has seen mor’ o’ the dyin’
than I will ever
even after a career of hospital intensive care work
where my role in it were to stop tha’ dying.
His was to cause it, that ther’ black
when we look each other in tha’ eye, we know.

Dear Unsealers,
Life has a peculiar way of guiding us through its most unexpected corridors, turning missteps into milestones. This truth crystallized for me back in 2017, a year that marked the beginning of a profound transformation. It was during a period of desperation, a time when the idea of working from home seemed like a distant dream, that I stumbled upon what appeared to be just another online scam—a course promising answers, peace, and a new path for just $7. Little did I know, this seemingly inconsequential investment would dramatically alter the course of my life.

The course, unconventional in every sense, forced me to view life through a different lens. It was an awakening to the possibility that what I had perceived as life’s cruel jest—the foreclosure that threatened my stability—was, in fact, a veiled opportunity. It nudged me toward a path I had never considered: writing a book. This venture was not just about putting words on a page; it was an excavation of my inner world and an invitation to others to explore their own.

The journey of writing that book opened doors to worlds I had never imagined stepping foot in. It was the bridge that connected me to Lauren Brill and the remarkable “Family of the Unsealed.” This connection was more than a simple network; it was a lifeline to a community that embraced me, flaws and all. Their acceptance and support have been a source of daily gratitude, a constant reminder that even the most unlikely choices can lead to extraordinary places.

Beyond the personal fulfillment of finding my tribe, this $7 gamble introduced me to a vast network of professionals across various industries. I found myself welcomed with open arms, my voice amplified in spaces I had once thought unreachable. From speaking on radio shows to campaigning for local elected officials, the opportunities that unfolded before me were as diverse as they were enriching. Each new experience served not only as a platform for growth but also as a testament to the power of embracing the unconventional.

Perhaps the most invaluable gift this journey has bestowed upon me is the realization that I am not alone in my quest. The knowledge and skills I gained along the way illuminated the collective struggle and resilience of those fighting similar battles. It’s a powerful reminder that our most significant growth often comes from our greatest challenges.

In reflecting on how a $7 scam course irrevocably changed my life for the better, I am reminded of the unpredictable beauty of life’s journey. It is a narrative of transformation, a testament to the unpredictable paths that lead us to our true calling. For every door that closed, a window opened, guiding me towards a life of purpose, connection, and unanticipated joy. The lesson was clear: sometimes, the best investments are the ones we least expect.

Dear Unsealed Family,

It would be off-putting if I didn’t stress that I’m not a overly intelligent
person when it comes to relationships with a divine creator. It is of the most
importance to me that I find something, something that was written or
spoken to help me define this world. This world that for most of my
existence I’ve experienced envelopes of deeply rooted detachments to my
own soul. I was lost, expecting the world to bend to the truth that a
melanated child like myself had some special qualities or traits which only I
have to make me aware of the sudden effects of this particular butterfly that
I’am. I found myself being classified as aberrant, corpulent and numerous
other adjectives one as Juvenile as myself would find Detrimental. It broke
my will to live being that my father’s side of the family and classmates
made me feel that I was impotent, a mundane atom of wasted potential.
It wasn’t just with words used but non-verbal cues that emptied my belief in
myself and this world. It felt as if I was a Homicide not to gang wars but
between family and Societal estrangement. The only peace I had was the
way silence had my back. It was in those moments of silence that
volunteered violence creeped into my mind. These thoughts started to
become folklore to my young mind and harmony with harm became my
only friend. A forever companion that I couldn’t forget, and I walked the
streets of depression alone. When going to school the subway became my
way to ensure a quite exit from this world. I would every day press my face
near the edge of deaths door and at a split second pull back to feel a bit of
what death was like. At the time I didn’t know what a suicidal thought was
or that I had for most of my childhood been a threat to myself. I was
fighting the thought of my being and the anxiety of the words of external
pressures, their shadows slowly stalking my mind. But it was one thing that
made me realize a rather strange feeling I been longing for like the love of
Eros to the desire desperately to feel noticed. I was in my 7th grade art class
and we was creating pottery and could etch anything into the sides of our
clay pots. I stumbled upon images that reflected my interest in my culture. I
picked up Egyptian hieroglyphs and in the process something drew me
towards those pieces of paper. It was if I’ve resonated with those images
that they were a part of my soul and have been for quite a long time. So I
used them on my mug and ashtray, but it didn’t stop there. When computer
class started I would research these hieroglyphs in an attempt to further my
understanding of why these things had such a profound impact on my
young mind. This is when my eyes began opening, looking like a full moon
juxtaposed to the dark mood-less sky. I saw melanated individuals who took
the wind from me. I always wondered why I never saw anybody that looked
like me on the television and if I did, they were mostly athletes or
musicians. it wasn’t until the day that I saw the Egyptians that I knew that
there was more to my people and my heritage. I had the biggest smile on
my face, my shoulders relaxed and my soul, my soul felt whole. I always
believed that my history began and ended at slavery, that I was and always
will be just a N-Word to my self, my people and to other cultures that knew
their story, but now I knew mines as well. It was when I learned that piece
of time not explained to us in the history books that I made a decision to
father study my own history. So to this day I reach for further guidance
from my ancestors and look at them to show self pride in myself. I know
that when I’m down or have thoughts to do harm or anything else I can
meditate on the matter with them and they will find an answers. I’am not a
N-word or any other label someone could describe me as,I’am called Negus
now which is Ethiopian royal title that was historically used to refer to the
monarch or ruler of Ethiopia. I’am happy, I’am love, I’am whole and I’am
grateful to be a melanated soul on this earth.

Always grateful,
Rashan Speller

Othe to mothers bearings are told
Sacral plexus so early misused
Diverted attention from nurture to crood egregores pursued
A time came around when the angelic realms, decided to bind with my trickle through hell
Creating life, something so freely exploited
An american dream, but that topics forthgoing
Awakened me emotionally, spiritually, as the intellectual so divinely imported
Balancing the Yin & the Yang, as a single mother always must do
Digging within opened my eyes to this new world for two
My Sienna so savvy yet sweet as the glow in suckle
My Diveena so innovative yet daring like a puck in the huddle
Sacral plexus so early made me a God, or should I say Goddess and not be far off
Creating a world forever embedded with beauty
Defined by the words divinity~loom~agape love~genuity