Hello, I’m new to TheUnsealed. This is a poem from a dark time in my life. I’m just so grateful to not be in this position anymore. I’m excited to this as a tool for healing! Thank you for reading.

I can’t breathe
A simple death is about to be achieved
Where it leaves me 6 ft underneath but the thought has always been appeased for all the nights I used to stay up for just a little tweak and depriving my body on every inch of sleep

Feeling crazy and distraught isn’t as pleasant as it seems
Death tends to follow me somewhere deep within my dreams
So I stay awake as part of a better scheme knowing one day it’ll take every ounce of me

Because now

But I’m the only one left to take the blame,
They call me insane because everything I do tends to be the same
With depressed thoughts hidden deep within my brain
Hoping one day I’ll have wealth with imaginary fame

From the beginning I tore everything apart
Having to big of a heart for the wrong people just from the start just to end up doing hot rails at a park because I felt all alone and left in the dark

I guess that’s the biggest excuse for an addict always blaming our problems on something just to go and have it, wishin you wouldn’t have had it, bad habits soon to wind us up dead in a casket, this havoc turned you into a savage and living under a bridge in the winter with no jacket.

I normally pre-mate poems with pen and paper But, this cannot wait any longer or later. Your words truly have pierced mine, and I remember surly the same state of mind. So, I will simply type on this phone my friend, even though it might not have another end. Sitting alone here on a 5 corner square, I look and see nothing in the middle of nowhere I will re-read your note that was truly wrote- From eyes of faucet water-in these tears I float. Though there’s no end at all to this telephone line, Emotions they do crawl from your heart to mine. Surly an addiction at the bottom of Erie’s Lake- I had no problem fixing every high I had to make. I would want to write to you from the bottom where it comes, But I don’t know if that is true, when mind games are so dumb. Nor has any heart bore but only similar strings, Unless one is ripped apart-it’s just not right it seems. I just cannot believe there’s people out there like me, Nor do I ever think I’m any better you see For God has made different all human existence, Yet we’re all still sinners so full of resistance And the very best thing that came from covid disease… Is the simple quote that had the note, “Please”. Now we clearly see, “We are all in this together”… In the same boat-(as light as a feather)… Is the message of Salvation for the world to live forever! The basis of a Christian is not a perfect life, It’s more of who’s been missing-but been found by Jesus Christ! It is that of progress and not of perfection… It’s a brand new spirit that with God has made connection! Jesus promised all that whosoever will… On Himself may call-that He’ll save forever still! All the talents and gifts He gave to express Of how it’s always Him to pull us out of our mess. And to lead the way over glassy seas to shore My dear friend I pray-may this heart get to yours.

It started with a dream.
Oh wait, I was just high, clear my mind,
and it is amazing what you’ll find
all these sober feelings, my mind is racing.
My heart is pacing
but that money I’m still chasing
It started with a dream
I can’t waste no more time.
I learned my lesson by committing my crime,
I’m ready to move on in life
and make a damn good wife
despite what anyone has to say.
I know that I can change my way
I’m left with nothing, just like zero
it’s time to be my own damn hero
Forced to feel all this emotion,
but I can’t give up cause I got devotion
time to be dedicated, fuck it
Let’s get educated
open my Bible the only thing reliable,
read about what’s expected out of me
practice good behavior and see what life can be
it started with a dream
wipe those tears and clear those fears
time to stand on my own 2 feet
and then only will my goals be meet
I got ambition in these eyes
and if you can’t see that then I apologize
and fuck you if you think otherwise
clear my mind and it is amazing what you’ll find.
Wonder if it ends with a Dream Come True!?

In shadows of my childhood, a tale unfolds,
Of a fractured family, where sorrow molds.
A black box whispers secrets long untold,
A narrative of pain, in letters penned in gold.

Tiny voices echoed in the paper’s embrace,
Innocence scrawled, each heartfelt trace.
“Daddy, where are you?” in a child’s grace,
Penning pleas and dreams in a desperate chase.

A brother’s memory, a phantom in the past,
Gone at three months, a love that couldn’t last.
His clothes, a reminder, in the box amassed,
A tragedy’s echo, a life’s fleeting contrast.

Mom and Dad, once entwined, love turned to strife,
A broken bond, unraveling the threads of life.
Divorce’s bitter aftermath, carving like a knife,
Pain’s cruel dance, as they battled inner strife.

Enter a new man, a chapter of despair,
Abuse’s cold touch, a burden hard to bear.
Fifteen years of shadows, a relentless snare,
In a house of torment, where love was rare.

In the dance of addiction, Dad lost his way,
A little girl’s hero, fading to shades of gray.
Baby pictures and letters, memories in disarray,
In a black box, fragments of a yesterday.

Letters pleading, a child’s silent scream,
“Daddy, do you hear us?” in every desperate theme.
Abandonment’s weight, a river of tears extreme,
In the echoes of silence, love became a dream.

Through the haze of addiction, love’s flame grew faint,
In the heart of a child, an enduring plaint.
A father lost, a bond left to taint,
In the dance of shadows, a life left to acquaint.

In the black box’s whispers, the past does unfurl,
A symphony of sorrow in this broken world.
Yet, within the pain, resilient spirits swirl,
Hoping for healing in the journey’s twirl.

There is this liquid that many consider magic.
Society says it’s a great social catalyst.
Drink some of it and you may become a whole different person.
Be careful – too much may leave you with only a headache and nausea to remember your night.
Growing up this liquid was the answer to all of my mothers worries.
Its an antidepressant, if you will.
As I entered my teens ,
It became the medicine, taking away all my pain.
I even learned the secret formula,
Making it through the night with minimal side effects.
As I grew older this liquid became my BEST friend!
There for me when I was lonely
Giving me courage by masking my socially awkwardness.
The gifts of blackouts and uncertain regrets.
Eventually, my best friend grew to become my enemy.
Courage became sadness
Blackouts became spotty nights of horror.
It allowed strangers to carry me to their cars
Driving me to their homes.
Eyes flooded my face with painful tears.
My brain and heart screaming for love and healing!
This liquid was no longer magic,
My kryptonite love affair!
There is no real secret formula to avoiding the side effects.
It is my depressant.
I destroys me from the inside!
This liquid is not special,
It is not a cure to your pains.
It will tear you apart,
Taking you family as collateral damage.
This liquid is a poison,
-It is Alcohol!

Surviving addiction it’s an affliction calling out for an intervention
Spend my time wondering why it took a hold of me. Eyes are wide Breath is high
Time is a wasting well I’m chasing my dragon
Tag you’re it! It’s my turn already?
I can’t even, I’m not steady
On your mark get set go, GI Joe the more you know.
My name is Danielle and I can’t even tell
I’m ready to give up I’ve had enough.

Am I really entering the world of addicy oh the audacity
am I really that into it
I am really that into it
You deserved this
You treversed this
Why cant I leave this room
It’s doom and gloom
Im starting to tune this out
Searching, nay saying
I’m just trying to say
When the fuck did I get here
This must be a joke,
and then I awoke

I lived in a house
with black out curtains all about
my partner liked to drink
Much more than anyone could think.
For seven plus years, I took myself down the same path
I didn’t know it was such a violent wrath.
Thought that’s how life was,
everyone was living it –
health was barely a buzz.
Everything felt broken,
I hated the outdoors.
A bird chirping with my hangover?
Close the damn doors.
I lived inside, waiting for the next divide.
My life was a fight,
but not the kind that brings future light.
Woke in the morning and decided to run-
I couldn’t live like this much longer,
i was tired of being spun.
Cleaned myself up, got it together
it wasn’t a perfect trial but my what a surrender.
Learning how it felt to live a “normal” life –
I didn’t know it’d lead me to becoming a wife.
Cared for and loved,
what a way better drug.
How each of us should feel,
but the only way to get there
is to let go and heal.