Hi Shelle,

Writing was not something I was interested in doing, but I felt your comment about the writing so many papers in college. It was overwhelming and I thought I wasn’t going to get through it. I’m sorry your condition made it where you could not finish your degree. It’s not fair. I remember those papers felt like blocking out our creative writing potential instead of helping us find it. I remember taking a creative writing course and thinking about how everyone else had a lot to offer the writing world and I was just piggy backing off others ideas.
Like yourself, I saw the ad for here and was unsure about joining until I saw a prompt I felt like I needed to respond to like it was the call I needed to not feel discouraged about writing since this was about my lived experience and not about some fantasy world that’s hard to write about. I’m glad we both found this site and will continue to pursue our writing.

Writing for me is more of a hobby if I have time to write, but I hope you are able to pursue more writing opportunities if that is the pathway you want to make for your career path and don’t let others discourage you from writing.

I can relate with not looking like a parent. I am biracial my moms white my dad’s black. I am the light skinned version of my dad. Literally. I remember growing up hating my curly hair. My parents weren’t together. I live with my mom. She doesn’t know how to do anything with my hair. I had to figure it out as an adult. Now I love my hair. I love my looks now, but growing up poor unable to manage my hair was the worst. Had to keep it like 2 inches long in an afro cause brushing it hurt and the cheap hair salons we could afford didn’t know how to help me with my hair. I can relate to the history. It’s very disturbing and I’m glad we are not living in those times now but it’s so interesting to hear about how much life has changed since out ancestors have lived. I am unclear about my full roots as well but at least I have learned about some of things that some of our ancestors may have gone through. You are right that person who judged you based on your skin color didn’t deserve you and I hope some day that you find someone who does appreciate you. Whatever you decide on whether or not you pursue your birth parent I hope that the outcome won’t make you hate you go back to the time of being judged about your skin.

I totally forgot about the wanting to wear what everyone else was wearing. I remember trying to find the knock off clothes that looked similar to everyone’s real brand clothes to make myself fit in because i couldnt afford the real thing. Not that I really did. I stopped caring about my clothes in high school. I was more interested in getting into the higher level classes and trying not to fail. Life got better when I stopped caring about fitting in, but those early teen years
I really thought people would accept me more for what I wear. Thank you for reminding me about that. I hope you changed your mind about the clothes now and focus on what makes you feel comfortable.

Hi Dee,
I remember that pain of feeling ugly. As one of the few kids in school with curly hair I hated it so much the teasing and wanting to be someone with straight hair it wasn’t fun. I never felt bad enough to cut myself, but sometimes I felt like I was on the edge of going there. It’s the worst feeling ever and I learned to ignore the comments. I’m sorry your teenage self felt like it was the only option, but I am glad your here and doing well. I really like the picture you included of yourself being happy. I hope you continue to be happy.

I just wanted to say I understand growing up in a bad neighborhood and the pressure to not follow into the crime scene. Life felt easier to just follow the crowd then to keep your dreams, but I’m glad you were still able to keep dreaming through it all. I liked how you mentioned ” honor the tears you shed,” it’s one of those things we hate doing and feeling, but those times we cry are the ones when growth happens the most. Thank you for sharing.

I still do put others before myself, but I am more selective about it now. I totally feel just trying to get through life thats me now. I need to make some goals. My teenage self had more life goals than me. Thanks for your comment. I’m glad it helped you remember your teenage self as well.