Hi my name is
Nah that’s way too formal.

Hey wassup it’s ya girl
What am I a radio personality?

Hi. I’m LaShae.

Wait. Yeah that
That feels comfortable.

Hi. I’m LaShae.
La like the note
Shae like the butter.
And I’m
. . .
Blank

God says,
I am that I am
But if I said it
Would it be blasphemous?
Even if I am?
Because I am that I am
And
I am Joy.
I am Smile.
Brittany said it was creepy
That I smiled so much
But Brittany didn’t know
I hurt the same ways she did.
She didn’t know my smile
Was as much a resistance
As it was for her to get out of bed some mornings
She didn’t know
I kept my smile because
Tracy loved my smile.
Tracy loved my smile!
She said it was the most genuine smile she’s ever seen
Which is the best compliment
Because her smile
Was the most genuine I’ve ever seen.

I am peace
Except when I am hungry
And I am always hungry
Beware of Junior’s warning
You better feed that gal;
I am gal.
As sister says,
When hungry,
I am Hulk;
I am pitbull.
Ya girl just likes to eat
But when I am fed,
I promise
I will be peace
Like Mable taught me to be
Peace:
Not the absence of violence,
But the presence of Justice.
So if no Justice
No peace.
I am starving
Pitbull for peace
Ready to Hulk smash oppression
See, Mable
Mable was a child
When Newark went up in flames
See
You don’t watch your home go ablaze
And end up staying the same
No
You arm yourself
Yes, with the whole armor of God
Like your mother taught you
But also
With a thicker skin
That none of this heat can penetrate
And with a weapon
She chose a pen
Much mightier than a sword
Her ink writing for peace
Not the absence of violence
But the presence of Justice
Her ink filled with the blood spilled in her streets
And then she would come to teach
All the little children, and yes, even me
That the power is in connections
That is what Mable taught to me.

Barbara taught me to hold my own.
Pete told me Fret Not
But Pray if you feel alone
Latierra and Ricky
Both taught me to wonder
And Serena taught me
That dancing is greater than pain
Ali taught me God will find you
Even if you’re in the dark.
I never met Maurice,
But his love is always in my heart.
Ulysses taught me always learn first
And Davey taught me to dress my best
Even when they do their worst
Ron & Vette taught me to be loud
Lisa and Al taught me love knows no bounds
Dog taught me to keep my friends close
Mo taught me that royalty
Can come from a crack that bloomed a rose
And Holis, God rest his soul,
May not be blood
But taught me what a man ought to be

I know you asked about me
But I am an unfinished story
The moral of my life
Isn’t complete
But I am that I am
And I am pieces of
Every person I ever lost
A puzzle
Amassing to one lone thought:
Love.

Hey, you, old man.
This is a letter to yourself and from yourself.
You know all those things you’ve done wrong,
Regardless of who’s fault, or who’s right or wrong.
But this is not of that my friend…
Yeah, it’s amazing.You can call yourself friend now, but you are! ♥
I know those things I put myself and others through.
I remember the dreams and aspirations.All the good things I had for you.
Looking back is confusing and God it just makes me cry.
But I’m gonna try to leave You out too.Because this is a letter to myself. To maybe find out why.
But God I can’t, I can’t look back Because it hurts too much…
I can’t go to the beach, I can’t go to school, I can’t go to church, Sitting bereaved, I feel a fool.
But Lord, I can’t do it, I cannot watch.
Cannot go to Toledo. Cannot go to Cleveland cannot go back to jail, God what am I believing?
Cannot run to West Virginia, cannot hospital trend…
All along.I hated myself, yet all the while was a good friend. ☺
I can’t even write.I’m sorry I can’t do this.
All along my life, it was my own mark I missed.
But that’s a good thing because i’m not in hell…
Only I could see my place where ever if I made, could never get bail.
I’m sorry, no can do.
God thank you for saving me from me.

Because God loved me 1st-And I’m not of any less worth
My God is no respecter of persons-And He loves healing my hurting.
I love me because I’m trying-As I’m crying to care…
My Great God has made me beautiful-the person in the mirror!
I may have some good qualities instilled in me,
But the best-is alone time with God-on some humble knees.
I chose to love myself-though seems to me none else can,
So, I put God 1st, then the others, finally at last I stand!
I witness to people-telling them how much God loves them,
For all practical purposes-I’m reminded of love, over and over again!
God must see me special-He died for my soul to live,
Sitting patient through many lectures my earthly father had to give.
I love me because I’m not a robot, that cannot return the love,
It’s a free gift the Master Gave-Super, Sufficient enough!
I’m looking deep, staring into-the bottom of my heart,
And see the reason, steep to love-every brand-new day’s start!
I love me because I can love everyone else,
Even if they did me wrong-there’s no reason to not love myself!
Yes, writing this down brings tears to mine eyes,
So, learning to smile by overcoming frowns-is such a lovely surprise!
God sure does instruct me well-in His Word divine…
I love me by loving my wife-in sincere lowliness of mind.
I love me from emotions and feelings-that have become real,
I love me cause I’m sober, and love the souls-from all you at “The Unsealed”!
I love me because I see my mistakes, and when I make them-my heart breaks,
And because I’m not leading people astray-but point to Jesus who is The Way!
As Yes, I chose always wisely to learn, from all my dumb mistakes.
I love me for my friend-on this paper is how I pray…
This ink from my pen, will never run out-it just bleeds in a good way!
I love me because I love God, and have figured out-He hates me not,
I love me because I’m bought with His blood-that cleanses my sin a lot!
I’m loving myself because I’ve felt, and know the truth from lies-
Especially because this inside love-is finally leaving my past behind!!!
I love me because God has great plans for me…
And so, I let Jesus drive-and sit in the passenger’s seat!
Also, I love what it means to “be human”,
Living and growing, and returning loves sway…
And I am (through this poem)
Making “loving myself” a new practice every day!

Good for burdens to be done!

Thank You-The Unsealed,
Much Love-Timothy
4-4-24

They mean my daily chore-home work.
They mean my daily release-from drugs.
God, I want them so bad-But can’t…
These things mean-my sanity.

Ears ring loud-Alone.
None but Jesus-knows.
God, I tempt You not-but why?
Dids’t Thou not take me-long ago?

Still flying sober-how?
Dost Thou hold my tears-when?
Will they stop, could they ever-Be
Worth anything-to Thee?

I will write a poem-And fly.
I’ll crash down-Goodbye.
Can say words-no meaning heart?
Words kill-I’ve seen,
Through the light of another’s dream.

Was a nightmare-for both.
How can life and death-Be so close?
Walking in the Spirit…Live.
Walking after the flesh…Death.

Let God direct your steps.
Acknowledge Him every chance you get!
He will give beyond belief
Be humble and watch Him uplift.
God, I don’t know what will kill me first…
Mine own poor choices,
Or the source of a heart-attacks worth.

How much more?

My heart is just a doormat
Please come in and stomp your feet
Please lie to me, it sounds so sweet
Don’t tell the truth-weep bitter deceit

How fun this is-wouldn’t you agree?
This old heart can take it-for One takes all
One same literally made all!
Nor did He think it bad…

But said-It is good!

It seems Jesus is in my box
I’m alone in the room with it and Him.
Broken hearted-sore troubled am I
He is the mended miracle…

I don’t let Him out to try.

Is this holding the truth in unrighteousness?
That’s not what I want despite all this.

My heart is just a doormat
Please come in and stomp away…

Poems could make a heart unbroken.

Tuesday
Sept. 12th
2023

Walking through a weary land
Behold you find the rock
May you come thirsty, but not alone
And fall broken upon this stone
Out pours the Water-giving life to your soul
Free-this Living Water, gives your heart a home!
Tis’ so good to you that you want not to return
Back to weary land-please stay close and learn.
That He was always there for you-in your lonely times
He caught your every painful fall-and kept you alive!
Please give God the glory-the Great Savior and King
He is the great Healer-and the answer to your dreams!
Please let Him change you, for you to die not
So faithful He always is-loving you a lot!
He will not point out-sins daring glare
But He covers with His blood-eternal life He shares!
He will always pardon-by His Grand Master design
Dear precious child-He is with you all the time!
He hurts so much at heart-by your troubled pain
He knows all your going through-As for you He came.
Yes-He died a horrible death-just so you’d be free
And He lives beyond a guess-please this fact believe
Please with open heart-accept His perfect love…
He will lift you so much higher-than can any given drug!
-Brought to you by the Love of Christ-

The Summer of 2021 was the start of my life turning upside down because of what you did. At least what I think you did. I have no memory of what happened other than that night I woke up feeling sick to my stomach, in pain everywhere. My legs, my back, my stomach, and most importantly, my private area was in extreme pain.

I don’t remember anything, but I know you did something to me. Waking up, not remembering anything, and just knowing something was wrong was enough to send me on a whirlwind. My wrists were red I was in pain, my nose piercing was gone, my pants were half down and wet with an unknown substance, I had bruises on my arms like someone forced themselves on me and held me down so I wouldn’t get up. I was scared, shocked, and I didn’t know what to do or think. I looked around in utter dismay, looking at my phone in my pillowcase. I know I wouldn’t have put it there because it’s always right beside me. I didn’t think this would happen to me.

After getting my thoughts together and trying to remember what happened, I looked at my phone, and saw a photo of me sleeping, as I thought maybe I could have taken the photo myself like a selfie but I couldn’t have taken it because it was shot from a different angle whereas someone else could have taken and left it on my phone. I remember that morning I asked you about the photo and you completely had a changed face, a face of guilt, you yelled at me telling me I’m crazy to be so accusatory, but in reality, I only asked a question. You shunned me the whole day acting like I didn’t exist, that the situation was nothing, it didn’t matter to you that you took something innocent out of me and scarred me. You did something horrible to me you know that. But you never took responsibility for it. I still remember your reaction, I still feel the bruises and the pain you caused. I even tear up sometimes just thinking about it. I may not remember what happened exactly to me that night but I do know what happened to me wasn’t my fault and I didn’t deserve it.

I normally pre-mate poems with pen and paper But, this cannot wait any longer or later. Your words truly have pierced mine, and I remember surly the same state of mind. So, I will simply type on this phone my friend, even though it might not have another end. Sitting alone here on a 5 corner square, I look and see nothing in the middle of nowhere I will re-read your note that was truly wrote- From eyes of faucet water-in these tears I float. Though there’s no end at all to this telephone line, Emotions they do crawl from your heart to mine. Surly an addiction at the bottom of Erie’s Lake- I had no problem fixing every high I had to make. I would want to write to you from the bottom where it comes, But I don’t know if that is true, when mind games are so dumb. Nor has any heart bore but only similar strings, Unless one is ripped apart-it’s just not right it seems. I just cannot believe there’s people out there like me, Nor do I ever think I’m any better you see For God has made different all human existence, Yet we’re all still sinners so full of resistance And the very best thing that came from covid disease… Is the simple quote that had the note, “Please”. Now we clearly see, “We are all in this together”… In the same boat-(as light as a feather)… Is the message of Salvation for the world to live forever! The basis of a Christian is not a perfect life, It’s more of who’s been missing-but been found by Jesus Christ! It is that of progress and not of perfection… It’s a brand new spirit that with God has made connection! Jesus promised all that whosoever will… On Himself may call-that He’ll save forever still! All the talents and gifts He gave to express Of how it’s always Him to pull us out of our mess. And to lead the way over glassy seas to shore My dear friend I pray-may this heart get to yours.