Don’t worry little one, this will all be forgiven and forgotten I know you’re going through a lot right now and I pray that you make it through this with open eyes And a keen sense. You are on your own now
nothing more, nothing less. My information is true
and I know what you’re going to do. I know because I’m you. Don’t listen to any negativity from any one and always be yourself! I know it’s rough but it’ll get better I hope you find solace in this letter.
It’s a perfect day, let’s go slay.
Waking up feels great, my body’s not in pain. My brain no longer insane, I’m tame.
I put my doc’s on and stroll out the door on this beautiful 80 degree day.
My gosh the beauty I see before me,
neighbors smiling and I am stylin’
Jeeps workin’ just fine wow that just blew my mind
I feel like I’m in a Muppet movie surrounded by singing
And dancing I feel fantastic not a bit sarcastic
nope…. no work today! Just me, myself, and I
Danielle, It sounds like you’re perfect day is an amazing day filled with joy and positivity! I’m glad that you embrace the beauty around you and enjoy your time off. It’s great to cherish the moments of relaxation and self-care. Keep that upbeat spirit going!
How many times have I
Done this wicked communion?
I present my body and blood
Not for nourishment
But to be devoured until I am no more
He who eats and drinks of this
Cup unworthily drinks damnation
Unto himself
Unholy communion
Attached to eternal bliss
Forgotten pledge to the cross
As we kiss
We wrestled all night until
The sun peeks its head
above the horizon
And venerates
our bodies with light
You slumber still
I wide awake
Wondering what will this be
Will this man be it for me?
My God my Holy one
The father and son
My Savior
I still feel the essence of your spirit
Inside of me
I still taste the flavor
Of your skin
I still hear the echoes
From the wall
As I call for Jesus
Every inch graced
By your touch
It pleases
All my senses
As I come to the consensus
With my mind body spirit
And soul
You are my God
MY will I submit to you
Let the actions of my body
Be pleasing to you
Feel the eruption of my worship
As my living water flows
Heaven only knows
Dreams of monogamy
Carnal insecure thoughts wondering
If he is lying to me
Because last night we were on earth
Underneath the stars and the moon
Gazing and anticipating
Quiet heavy whispers
Questioning if it’s too soon
I only known you for a moment
But you’re familiar
Like always meant to be mine
Always meant to share space and time
In a past life we were distant lovers
Faithful Ritualistic promises of
See you next lifetime
Engraved in our DNA
And unconscious mind
It’s like I spent every life
searching for you
Too stunned to speak
Loving you from a distance
You noticed me
But we shied away
Translated as indifference
Wondering what am I missing
When will time be kind?
At this very moment
all the timelines
Align
All in-sync
Body to body
Melanin on melanin
Skin in skin
Shedding the weight of
Our earthly bodies and its sin
Ascending into the cosmos
Intertwining until we are one
Only God knows
When we shall be undone
The universe sings praises
And exalts our union
We are gods
The universe is pleased
I cover you just as Nut
Does for Geb
When he admires
Her beauty
We both intertwined
In this web
Of ethereal bliss
We fly past constellations,
planets and Galaxies
And make love
in the nebula clouds
Our sweat scattered across
The universe and heavens
As we take our rest
No need for words
While we lie naked
And undressed
Our chocolate bodies
Dancing in the shadows
Of my head
Heart distressed
At the potential mess
This could be
You’re asleep
And Wide awake I lay
In this bed
As the sun rises
From its slumber
the angels of light
Dance on the walls
of this room
I find peace and rest
in the quiet of
Heaven’s morning
And wait for the
Cleansing
Found in
Heaven’s afternoon
Pretty Dee, Your words are filled with passion and longing, painting a vivid picture of desire. Embrace the beauty of the moment and trust in the journey ahead. May you find the peace and cleansing you seek in the embrace of love.
My heart is broke I’m begining to sulk
My tears are for fears that you might not be back do you have to go away for this long? I don’t think Im strong for lack of a better word, maybe I’m being absurd
First time I saw you I knew you were the one.
Starring in to each others eyes our lips touched and that was it, I was hit with cupid’s arrow.
Now years later a lie was created
doubted thoughts loom and you assume.
My heart drops what did I do I never knew you felt like this I must’ve missed.
I want to give you a kiss and be in bliss again with you, this what I really want to do
I miss you
Danielle I can feel the raw emotions in your letter, and I’m here to offer support and understanding during this difficult time. Heartbreak is never easy, and it’s natural to feel a sense of sadness and longing when someone you love is away for an extended period. Sending you strength and support during this challenging time.
Everyday is a favorite day for me
I opened my eyes this morning and I could see
I could move my legs and stand on my feet
Wiggle my toes
And touch my nose
Use my mind to write this prose
Running water, working lights
Food in my fridge
Roof over my head
Despite my many obstacles
I am not dead.
I can put a smile on my face
Even in the darkest place
Because every day I breathe
is my favorite day
I remember the days
when I didn’t think this way
I remember wanting to hide
And wish the world away
I thought the only way
I could find peace
Is if I was laid in a linen lined box
And placed in a plot
While the words
“With deepest sympathy”
Are recited to my kids and family
And I be laid to rest
“In loving memory”
Yes , everyday is my favorite day
Even when it didn’t go as planned
And even the days I was
Surrounded by my enemies
And out manned
Through every experience this year
I have learned life is grand
And to push away all fear
And run full speed ahead
I dare myself to stay the course
And in every moment, minute , hour
Day and season
That my breathe is more than
Enough reason
To let everyday be my favorite
Even on the bad days I will claim it
You will never grow
If the sun is always shining
And the sky is never raining
This year I learned how to
Not only love the rain
But dance in it
Everyday is my favorite day
Because the breath in my body means I am winning.
Dee i love you so much! This piece is amazing just like you. You are so talented and you are soul is pure light for us all. I absolutely love love love this piece. Thank you for being you. Thank you for sharing. <3 Lauren
This is but a thought the truth of what our nation is coming to
Fiddle De De fiddle de dumb biden’s got his thumb up his bum, he gave Ukraine another lump sum.
Migrants galore, Chicago ignore. They say the American dream is a lore. It rocks me to my bitter core.
The opponent stays quiet, so there won’t be a riot.
My words are honest, but I can’t promise they won’t cause strife. Think of your life.
I’m not political, I’m not semitic
but I said it…
Eat the rich, but not the poor
too many citizens lying on the floor
My lord…
They say COVID is coming back and it’s going to attack. Relax it’s just tact
The election is coming The press is running and they are cunning.
My thoughts are clear a mere sense of clarity
A rarity indeed I’m not trying to mislead It’s just a seed.
This is a very clever piece and really captures the rollercoaster ride that the media and politics put us all on — especially these last few years. Thank you for sharing. <3 Lauren
Hello in there, is your head working yet? Here just take another pill.
For breakfast every morning I have a colorful array of meds.
Just so I can fit in, I hate it I really do. don’t worry here’s another pill to cheer you up, one to keep u from your nightmarish dreams. One to stay awake, one for pain, another to be in a. Good mood, one to make you stay in a good mood. but it might take a few meds to find the right one
My mind feels perfectly fine.
Another appointment? Let’s change it up. A few MG’s up a few down.
Are you ready for another round
Ya, I’m down.
I hear a sound. Let’s wing it this timeIt’ll be fine, You’ll feel so much better. You might even get a little thinner.
Who knows, the sky’s the limit! That’s the ticket, keep on taking them they’ll keep on making em.
Addicting those that are weak, and seem to only seek The ones they can critique….
Danielle this is really powerful. I know other people who have gotten in the cycle of taking pills for mental health, and feel as though they are being put on a rollercoaster similar to the way you describe the experience.
You know your mind and body best. And you know what’s best for you. I am cheering your happiness on from afar. <3Lauren
Wow this is so powerful I’ve been raised in mental hospitals and medication has been shoved down my throat my whole life and I have always described the process of being properly medicated as this and you perfectly put the reality of it in the best words well done
Surviving addiction it’s an affliction calling out for an intervention
Spend my time wondering why it took a hold of me. Eyes are wide Breath is high
Time is a wasting well I’m chasing my dragon
Tag you’re it! It’s my turn already?
I can’t even, I’m not steady
On your mark get set go, GI Joe the more you know.
My name is Danielle and I can’t even tell
I’m ready to give up I’ve had enough.
Danielle, your words resonate with the struggles and pain of addiction. It’s a battle that can feel overwhelming, but remember that you are not alone. Reach out for support and never give up on the hope of recovery. You have the strength to overcome. Keep fighting, Danielle.
Am I really entering the world of addicy oh the audacity
am I really that into it
I am really that into it
You deserved this
You treversed this
Why cant I leave this room
It’s doom and gloom
Im starting to tune this out
Searching, nay saying
I’m just trying to say
When the fuck did I get here
This must be a joke,
and then I awoke
Danielle, addiction can feel like a never-ending nightmare. But remember, you have the strength to wake up from this darkness. Seek help, find support, and take back control of your life. You are not alone in this journey. Keep pushing forward, Danielle.
Woke up in a daze not feeling like I wanted to go to work. I attempted to call out. Talked to my boss it was a definite NO, I need you come in… Uhg so I did. feeling bad about leaving my boss hangin I strolled in to work every thing was fine just as it should be. I set up and took my first client.second, third and so on and so forth, I noticed a boy and his mother walk in and sit down. The mother was called by the stylist the sat up front probably about 11 or 12 I would say… All of the sudden out of the corner of my eye I see him grabbing his throat and trying to cough. Without even a thought or a memory of how I got from.here to there it was like an outer body experience watching from above myself in motion attending and defending this little boys will to live. It was crazy, each thrust I felt his body get tighter it seemed like forever I was giving the heimlich maneuver. I’ll tell ya… it wasn’t “I hope” this thing. Comes out it was “going to” come out…. And it did the boy with a blue hue had a natural color to him again.
thank you to who ever what ever that was that came over me the boy started to cough just as the EMTs arrived I stepped a way. They were all clapping, my boss was crying and shaking as was I. My boss pulled me out back to talk she was like how, why if you took the day off…. I just glad you were here today.
The mother of the boy however was beyond her self gave me a hug asked how could she ever repay me for saving the boy I said to her… Him being
alive and breathing is payment enough.
This is my memorable moment….
Lauren it was unimaginable the timing the fact that my boss wouldn’t let me call out It was truly a unbelievable experience I don’t think of myself as a hero though….I just did what my body led me to do It was surreal there was one other time when there was a boy drowning in Western Mass and I happened to look down and saw him doing the dead…read more
Hi Lauren I had a question for you and wasn’t sure how to message you directly but been thinking about writing a memoir for years now not quite sure how to do it or if I could get sponsored by someone to actually publish it wondering how that works thanks
Hey! We’ve done a few shows on it. Once you write the transcript, you have to format it (you can hire someone on Upwork for whatever price range you want). You also need an isbn which you can buy on https://www.myidentifiers.com/. After that you need a cover. Amazon can create one with AI for free, or you can make one on canva with the dimensions…read more
Chasing, pacing, racing
Only in my dreams
I want so bad to see them come true
But I haven’t come to terms with seeing it thru my desires and wants take second stage
To the battle that is everyday
Someday I hope I can make them happen
Glory day, I hope and pray for my time to come
Though It lasts just a second
And then it ends…
it’s already written
Steady as I go
Inspiration pouring out my soul
Mind and body collide
Heart and soul coincide
Fact and fiction divide
Making you feel alive
Sometimes I get real
I kneel and pray to a god not yet saved
Steal and pay for the next day
You’ll find a way
Just stay, don’t run
It could way a ton
My thoughts exactly
Don’t beg just ask me
I’ll stay till the light burns out
Be quiet and listen to your first decision
Be quiet and run for the day is done
Another quest tomorrow will avenge sorrow
What am I most thankful for
I’m thankful for my children. They’re grown now and they are both healthy, smart and inquisitive. They brighten my day.
I’m thankful I’m alive to witness everything in life My goal is to learn from my mistakes and I’m thankful I have coping skills.
I don’t have much but I’m thankful I have a roof over my head.
I’m thankful I have helped others. I’m thankful I can take constructive criticism and I’m able to endure it.
I’m thankful to have a sister, that’s about all the family I have.
I’m thankful for my job and the ability to be able to work with injuries and mental illness, I persevere. I have been in situations where I shouldn’t be alive but I’m thankful that I am.
I’m thankful that I can see the leaves on the trees change.
I’m thankful I can breathe, though I don’t have a range
My life has been hard It’s been marred by sadness and violence but I’ve remained silenced.
Danielle, It sounds like despite hardships there is so much good in your life and there are many reasons to be thankful. You are strong and resilient. You should be so proud and thankful for your spirit in addition to everything that you named. Thank you for sharing this piece and thank you for being part of The Unsealed. <3 Lauren
These are not my legs,
I’m watching myself from above
I wonder…
Are those mine
I can’t feel them, holy christ!
I can see them
My brains scrambled,
Astral projection, dmt and me
I can see,
Try to be me.
I have questions.
MS? Nerve damage? Poor circulation?
Or are you in a “floating” phase right now?
Fun Fact: I too like taking pictures of my feet but it’s because I like my shoes.
You should paint something on your boots.
Last night, I didn’t sleep well, as I had several nightmares. I was haunted by the endless images I saw in the news: A young woman’s naked, lifeless, unconscious (possibly deceased) body being paraded around as a trophy after Hamas attacked young people at a music festival in Israel, a 25-year-old woman begging for her life as she was taken as a hostage and babies whose faces were covered in dust and blood from the bombs thrown near their homes.
When I awoke this morning, I immediately read the news to see the latest. And while the horror continues on the other side of the world, I was also disheartened to learn that hate was just outside my doorstep.
People at rallies down the street from where I slept last night are wearing, holding, and celebrating images of swastikas and promoting anti-semitic rhetoric. For the first time in my life, I was and am scared to be Jewish.
While I have been doing my best to educate myself through the news, friends, and online resources, I am not going to sit here and pretend I fully understand the conflict between Palestine and Israel – because I don’t. And I know that it’s natural and easy to see the world through the lens of my own experiences and identity.
However, we all, myself included, should see and feel our humanity reflected in every person on this planet. And act accordingly.
As I try to process these last few days, the violence happening in the Middle East is not just about me, or any one group of people or politics. This cruel attack on innocent people is about all of us. It is a threat to all of humanity.
No child, no person, whether they share my background or not, whether Palestinian or Israeli (or any other culture, race, or religion), deserves to live or die in such an inhumane way.
There are a lot of issues we can’t and won’t agree on in this world. But we universally should believe in and tirelessly advocate for love, compassion, and peace for all people.
And sadly, right now, that’s not the case.
I am scared and heartbroken as I pray for the victims of violence, our world, and humanity.
I’m at a loss for words to describe the depths of evil for these murders of innocent people. I can’t comprehend humans committing these acts against other humans. Why with all the prayers that happen worldwide daily do things like this even happen? Please stay safe from these protests and God help the Middle East with everything you have.
To be honest, right now in this very moment I am in a space or season of uncomfortableness in my life. All my life I’ve worn different masks to fit in and be accepted that I’ve lost sight of who I am and who I could be with growth. I hate to admit it because I was comfortable in places where I guess normal people would be uncomfortable. I used to be comfortable in my depression, anxiety, self pity and hatred. I was okay with being trash even though I wasn’t. I embarked on taking all aspects of my healing and writing seriously during the pandemic. But i wasn’t prepared at all for the distractions that i would face. So for the next 2 1/2 years. I undid almost all my progress by being in a relationship and having a baby with a narcissist who had done everything short of killing my spirit. I was extremely uncomfortable with him but out of fear and my abandonment issues. I stayed. I became comfortable with the abuse and toxicity. I believe all the lies he told me. To be hundred percent genuine and transparent, I knew he was no good for me. But I got stuck on a feeling and I am stubborn. He was the first and only guy to pretend that he valued me. He would by me flowers, take me on dates, buy me gifts, and write me little love letters. He even said he wanted to marry me. Being a woman with extremely complicated daddy issues and traumas experiences with men; I tried to hold on to him and change myself to keep him because I believed he would change. So long story short I got tired of everything he did and was doing to me. I had a come to Jesus meeting with myself because it was destroying my mental health and I could not adequately function as a mom like I needed to. So earlier this year before my son turned one. I left him and I have never looked back. If anyone has experience with a true narcissist nothing I did to free myself was easy. So I am rebuilding and recovering from that extremely toxic relationship, learning how to balance and raise two children alone instead of one and taking the leap of faith by finally sharing my talent in writing with the world and still trying to take care of my mental health and heal from all my current and past trauma and everyone I care about. I normally would have tucked my tail and run away by now to old familiar environments but I haven’t. I always found comfort in quitting and hiding within my negative emotions. I found comfort in thinking terrible things about myself and not loving and giving myself grace. I was comfortable with abuse mental, emotional, and sometimes physical because I believed that was all I deserved in life. The unknown has always terrified me so as a trauma response I would go back to or put myself in maladaptive situations that cause pain because I’m used to it. I was like the children of Israel after they were delivered from Egypt who wanted to go back because I couldn’t see my promised land. But I decided to be different and challenge myself to conquer my fears and worries so I can achieve success and that scares the living crap out of me. I see my changes and the blessings coming to me but I am internally scared shitless (excuse my language). I haven’t had time to process anything that has happened in my life for real in the past 3 years and I’m still pushing forward but I have a lot of unresolved emotions that I don’t know how to handle so I pretend they aren’t there until I go crazy or figure out how to express them.
I’m afraid of success. I am afraid of achieving my goals and being the best me. Yes, I know that sounds crazy. Even though I put in the work and it is what is to be expected. I’ve never experienced positive situations or at least for long. So I self sabotage because I don’t think I’m worthy all the time of goodness and happiness. I’m not used to actually having joy despite the chaos in my life. I’m used to feeling depression and sadness. I’m not used to being happy. And I’m so uncomfortable because I have to teach myself to accept all the things in life I’ve prayed for. I have to release maladaptive coping mechanisms that I thought were healthy but they aren’t. I have always watered others and never watered myself. I’ve shown people more love than I’ve ever shown myself ( and that is never okay). Taking time to breathe and feel positive emotions has been hard for me. It triggers my fight or flight response to be consistent in things and to show myself love. But I’m coming into my own power and learning to love myself and it’s so uncomfortable! (I’m literally dying or that’s how it feels) Sometimes I want to run back to the hell I am used to because that was the last time I felt comfortable. I had a routine and knew what to expect. I feel selfish and at times undeserving because I still beat myself up. I’ve been a certain way for so long that being in the newness and joys of life brings me deep anxiety. But being in this uncomfortable position has taught me so much. I’m uncomfortable because I’m growing out of all the terror, heartbreak and trauma I’ve experienced in my entire life all at once. Sometimes I don’t know how to process my positive emotions and I cry when I’m happy I get angry when I experience love. But it’s okay. I’m reaping the harvest from the tears I cried because of trauma and general lack. The tears I’ve cried are watering my seeds for my success.
Everyday I wake up I am choosing to actively do something different. I refuse to let myself run back to the false comfort of being with my ex and having a fake family. I would much rather deal with the uncomfortableness of success than deal with the uncomfortableness of watering myself down and making myself small for a man who doesn’t love me and only wants to manipulate and control me. I am proud of myself but I can’t celebrate just yet because I still have a lot more work to do. I thought I was buried but this whole time I was planted.
DeAndrea, I am so damn proud of you. Walking away is so hard. But you do deserve better. You wrote: “I’m afraid of success. I am afraid of achieving my goals and being the best me.” Don’t be afraid. The world needs the best you. Your children need the best you. You have so much to offer the world. Do not let what other people did to you or t…read more
Awwww thank you so much Lauren! I have missed you guys so much! My schedule is currently tied up because I start school next week. I’m ready but I’m scared at the same time! But I’m going into the unknown and expecting my great success and being the best version of myself
I’m all alone walking and I’m stoned feel the night rise behind my back I’ve got a flashlight but it’s still black
I think it’s lack of comprehension but I’m not sure there’s no simple way that I can cure the tension
Intervention, still alone hanging by a thread on the edge of the world
Oh, did I forget to mention
My dear you’ve gone to far
It was a slight intention by
Regression, back to basics
Stay to listen to my submission
While I revise my inclination.
My mind is mine, I love it so.
My time is timed, wish it would go slow
The bind is tight though I see the light
Intervening capsules of life defy the integrity of thought.
Insignificance has brought a rapture upon all that is lost.
Danielle, Your words beautifully capture the complex nature of the mind and the passage of time. The struggle between the desire for slow moments and the rushing reality is relatable. The interplay of thoughts and the sense of insignificance can be overwhelming, but remember that even in the chaos, there is always a glimmer of light and hope. Keep…read more