dec 11
a journal on becoming

I meet who I am with who I was. I often find that most people cannot become more than they are because of their unwillingness to sacrifice who they were. who you were at some point is not who you want to stay. yet the version of you who you are now has so many things you can’t stand to lose. who will you be when you shed the layers? when you rid yourself of the friends, the places, the things you currently have in order to become anew?

what if you let go of everything only to fail? you fear failure to the point of hesitation. scarred to pull the trigger on your biggest dream because the worst that could happen is you fail. but what if failure isn’t the worst that could happen? what if the worst that could happen is that you die saying what if? you die a dreamer. a composition of untold stories and regrets.

there is an abundance of layers of who I am. as I believe we are multi-faceted creatures meant to explore all the parts of ourselves. beyond the usual, beyond the straight path. I found that our path narrows during the process of schooling and the entrance into adulthood, as if we get let out only to be one exact thing we chose for ourselves. as if all the other things are not worth the exploration. as if we ought to choose. as if we can only be one thing. like there is only room for one version of ourselves in this timeline. that’s so not true. the best version of me is the one where I am overly passionate about so many things. where I get to list all of the things I love and you can decide my individuality and commitment to fulfillment. that’s why I started saying “live passionately” in high school. we are meant to be full of life.

it all starts with our mind. are you one to push boundaries? set the bar higher? reach for more than what was presented? it’s too easy to accept exactly as we are gifted and make no effort towards anything greater and that is foolish. the mind doesn’t fit inside a box. neither does life. things will bend and break and change the bounds of the box. to be so rigid is to rob yourself of a passionate and fulfilling life.

say you are one to love the rigidity of life. structure, a set plan, path, curated for you. that way you can go through life with it laid out for you. maybe you grew up with a family business. everything was predetermined for you. and you like that. you like that you do exactly as you are told. you don’t need to put thought into anything and the ease of that makes life worth living for you. and good for you.

but there’s more.

on the other side of that is freedom. freedom to create, to fail, to be, to take up any space you want. we forget that we can be adults trying something for the first time. there is no age limit on youthfulness. the innocence of learning is commendable. there is a level of vulnerability that presents with learning something for the first time past the schooling age. deciding you want to learn how to swim at 24, for example. that’s me. I want to learn how to swim at 24 years old and though many may think there is embarrassment that should fall behind that, I believe there is no age limit to learning something new. who cares? who cares if it’s your first time picking up an instrument? your first time trying to learn a new language? nobody cares as much as you do.

the battle of adulthood and adolescence lives in my brain in a dauntingly beautiful conundrum. somedays I feel my youth peering in, begging to try new things and be a beginner again. while my ego loves to play and tell me I should be an expert as my age shall reflect my skill levels at any given task. that is so foolish, to care, to put unnecessary pressure on skill. to try your best is all you can do. show up as you, give it what you have, hold true to yourself.

who are we if we fail to embrace all versions of ourselves? if we don’t channel the past, present, and future all within the same moment than we are not the fullest, most complete version of self. I am me as I once was and as I will be. all of me has existed already, and I am the embodiment of my own totality. I trust in the self, as there is always a future version of me protecting who I currently am. and the coexistence of myself in time allows for the decisions I make to lead me to where I am meant to be. as there is no wrong decision. they all make sense in your path. the journey has no right or wrong answers, it just is as it is.

the process of becoming is a transition that begs for change. transition equals change. becoming requires change. allow things to change in your life. acknowledge the exit of people, places and things. allow the entrance of things that better align on your path. as your trust will expedite your higher version of yourself. and the acceptance of the adjustment period will excel you in your growth. be okay with loss. as the only way we gain is by losing something in its place. I believe life works in ways of replacement. there is always something to replace what once was. someone to replace who once was. if you look at life in replacements, you realize you’re never really losing anything. just finding better fitting pieces.

I am, I was, I will be. all simultaneously.

sacrificing aspects of our life typically comes across as giving up something. to let go. and while that is true, it does not have to be a negative. we let go to allow. we release so that we can hold better. this year I have chosen the path of sacrifice. I stopped doing a lot of things I used to do, I let go of a lot of things and people I used to love. I’m chasing the higher version of me that exists separate of those things, and I allow the entrance of better things that will enhance my life as those things did not. if that means ridding my life of everything except myself, then so be it. as I trust in the version of myself in the future to protect my current path. as she has what I currently desire. and those exist mutually. the strongest, most fulfilled people have found a way to accept sacrifice and have reframed the way they view it. viewing it as a tool, necessary to move forward along their path. as I feel lighter, less weight on my back, with less distraction. and I will meet the version of me I wish to be with the one that is ready for her. sacrifice is preparation.

I have allowed myself to live fearlessly as I have granted myself protection by releasing a fear of failure. to fully grasp the idea that failure is not real is to give yourself the freedom to be. to be all of you, all the versions you can think up. to try all of it. to be okay with setbacks, confusion, sacrifice. as all are tools to becoming.

become as you are, as you will be, who you are destined to be. don’t fight the urges, the gut feelings, the knowing of who you are to be. you already know, you have to acknowledge yourself. the time will pass anyways. my life has forever changed the first time I heard that. you already know who you are to be, you can feel it in your soul. who you are meant to be will seep out of your pores, it will be begging for your acknowledgement, begging for your pursuit. the pursuit of self is life’s greatest gift to ourselves. as we pursue ourselves, life is filled with passion.

The Trap of Society’s Labels
How Economic Status and Credentials Stifle Recognition of Brilliance:

In a world that claims to value innovation, society paradoxically confines people to narrow definitions of worth based on external factors like economic status or educational credentials. While degrees and financial stability may reflect certain achievements, they cannot encompass the full spectrum of human potential. By failing to see beyond these superficial markers, society often overlooks or dismisses brilliance that doesn’t arrive in conventional packaging. This narrow-mindedness not only stifles individual growth but hinders collective progress.

What happens when some of the greatest thinkers, creators, and leaders of our time never fit into these predetermined molds? How many groundbreaking ideas have been ignored because they came from the “wrong” person — someone without the right title, the right background, or the right narrative? When we reduce human worth to external symbols of success, we not only diminish others, but we limit ourselves, shutting off pathways to creativity, innovation, and transformation. True progress requires a willingness to recognize the depth, nuance, and unpredictability of human potential, even when — especially when — it challenges our conventional expectations. How much more could we achieve if we dared to embrace the unconventional, the unseen, and the unaccredited?

The Illusion of Meritocracy:
We cling to the comforting myth that hard work always leads to success, but this belief blinds us to the invisible walls built by society. Consider the artist who paints on subway walls because gallery doors remain closed to those without connections, or the self-taught engineer whose innovations gather dust because they lack a prestigious degree. Their brilliance shines in the shadows, unacknowledged and unexplored.
A person’s potential shouldn’t be measured by the weight of their wallet or the letters after their name, yet these markers often decide whose voices are heard and whose contributions matter. According to a 2021 Pew Research Center report, only 9% of low-income students in the U.S. earn a bachelor’s degree by age 24, compared to 62% of their wealthier peers. How many ideas, inventions, and insights are lost because talent was born on the wrong side of a financial divide?
Meritocracy, as we know it, is a mirage — shimmering with the promise of fairness, yet dissolving upon closer inspection. It asks us to believe in a level playing field while ignoring the trenches dug by inequality. True recognition of talent requires tearing down these barriers, acknowledging the untitled genius, the unpolished brilliance, and the value of every voice that dares to imagine a better world.
Overlooked Brilliance, Stolen Potential:
History brims with voices that whisper of stolen triumphs and obscured genius. For every celebrated name, there are countless others whose brilliance was eclipsed by prejudice, class, or power. These are the minds society discarded or exploited, simply because their knowledge and creativity didn’t fit the mold society had fashioned.
Take Katherine Johnson, a Black mathematician whose calculations at NASA guided astronauts to the stars. Her mind defied gravity itself, yet her contributions were hidden behind white men’s titles until history could no longer deny her genius. Consider Ada Lovelace, the visionary who first saw computers as more than calculating machines. Her ideas became the foundation for programming, yet men took her insights and cloaked them in their own acclaim.
In the shadows of innovation stands Rosalind Franklin, the scientist whose research unlocked the double helix of DNA. Her data became the key to genetic discovery, but recognition went to men who published her findings as their own.
These stories are not relics of a distant past; they are warnings etched into our present. How many minds today — women, people of color, the working class — spark with ideas that could reshape our world, only to see their light smothered by society’s rigid gatekeeping?
When brilliance is caged by circumstance, we all lose. Until we dismantle the illusion that talent only thrives in gilded rooms or accredited halls, we will continue to bury treasures unseen, and the world will remain half-written, half-lived, and half-discovered.

The Relentless Brilliance of the Self-Taught:
To be a self-taught artist or innovator is to walk a path lined with locked doors and invisible walls. It is to create not because opportunity beckons, but because the fire within cannot be extinguished. When the world refuses you privilege, you learn to turn scraps into masterpieces. When you lack credentials, you make your work undeniable. Without access to gilded platforms, you build your own stage, your own spotlight, your own audience.
The self-taught must dream harder, think sharper, and believe deeper because doubt is always louder when you stand outside the gates of acceptance. They must innovate not just in their craft, but in survival — navigating systems that were never designed to let them in. They are architects of their own success, using ingenuity to transform scarcity into fuel, setbacks into blueprints, and rejection into resilience.
Passion becomes their currency. Resourcefulness becomes their weapon. And while the privileged inherit paths already paved, the self-taught blaze trails through the wilds of uncertainty, carving brilliance from pure will and raw talent.
Their art, their inventions, their ideas are not born from comfort or connections, but from an unshakable need to express, to create, to be. And because their journey is steeper, their vision is often clearer; because their challenges are greater, their creations often shine brighter.
When we dismiss their work because it lacks a stamp of socioeconomic approval, we miss out on a depth of innovation that only adversity can produce. The self-taught are not just creators — they are rebels against limitation, poets of perseverance, and proof that brilliance, when denied a seat at the table, will still find a way to be heard.
Yet, how many are still left behind?…

When Status Defines Worth:
My path to becoming a writer and holistic wellness practitioner has been anything but linear. It has taken me through seasons of financial stability and hardship, and along the way, society’s perception of my worth has shifted dramatically. With each change in my economic status or professional role, I have witnessed how easily society pigeonholes individuals, reducing their complexity to a narrow set of labels.
When I held stable, well-paying positions, I was met with a sense of legitimacy. My insights and skills were acknowledged, and my presence in professional spaces was validated. I was afforded the respect that comes with a socially accepted idea of success. During these times, my evolving interests and the depth of my experience—whether in wellness practices, writing, artistic endeavors, or holistic healing—were seen as valuable, even intriguing. My path was framed as one of exploration, growth, and ambition.
Yet, when financial challenges arose or my work took on temporary, unconventional forms, the narrative shifted. The same passion for learning and dedication to my craft were now seen as instability or lack of focus. My commitment to holistic wellness was diminished in the eyes of those who equate legitimacy with titles, degrees, and financial security. My writing, no longer framed as an expression of expertise, was sometimes reduced to a side project or indulgence.
In these moments, I realized how society’s tendency to categorize people based on their jobs or financial standing can obscure the true essence of who they are and what they offer. My evolving roles—from temporary jobs to entrepreneurial pursuits—were not signs of inconsistency, but of adaptability, resilience, and an unwavering commitment to follow my calling. Each experience deepened my understanding and honed my skills, yet society’s rigid definitions of success often failed to capture this growth.
These perceptions create a false dichotomy: financial stability equals competence and credibility; financial hardship or non-traditional work equals inadequacy or aimlessness. This narrative is profoundly limiting. It overlooks the depth of lived experience, the richness of unconventional paths, and the brilliance that can arise from perseverance through challenge.
As I stand now, a dedicated writer and holistic wellness practitioner, I carry with me the lessons of these experiences. My worth does not hinge on society’s labels, nor does my expertise rely solely on financial standing or a conventional career trajectory. The journey itself—through varied work, through periods of abundance and scarcity—has shaped the knowledge, insight, and authenticity I bring to my work today.
To pigeonhole someone based on temporary circumstances is to miss the dynamic, evolving nature of human potential. True worth lies not in rigid labels, but in the dedication, growth, and integrity we cultivate along the way. My path has taught me that genuine recognition must go beyond surface-level markers to honor the full spectrum of a person’s journey.

The Cost of Pigeonholing Talent:
This fixation on credentials and socioeconomic status comes at a significant cost. When we dismiss the ideas and potential of those who lack formal education or resources, we miss out on groundbreaking innovations, artistic brilliance, and solutions to complex problems. In an era where creativity and adaptability are more valuable than ever, can we afford to ignore such potential?
Consider the countless entrepreneurs, artists, and thinkers in developing countries or underprivileged communities who lack access to prestigious institutions or networks. Their insights and innovations, born from necessity and resilience, could transform industries, yet their voices often go unheard.
Globally, in countries like India and Nigeria, talented individuals in rural areas develop ingenious solutions to local problems in agriculture, technology, and healthcare. Their contributions frequently remain unrecognized simply because they lack formal education or exposure to mainstream platforms.

Redefining Brilliance, Beyond Privilege and Gatekeeping:
Some may argue that formal education and credentials are necessary to ensure competence, that without these gateposts, we risk chaos and mediocrity. But this belief reveals a narrow vision of human potential. Structured learning holds value, yes, but it is not the only soil in which brilliance can take root. Deep knowledge grows in the minds of those who learn through relentless dedication, raw experimentation, and the hard-earned wisdom of lived experience.
True genius is not a privilege handed out to a select few who can afford the keys to the system. It is a spark within all of us. To say that only those who walk the narrow path of privilege can achieve greatness is to rob humanity of its collective potential. Those who rise despite systemic barriers — the self-taught innovators, the dreamers who build empires from the ground up — are extraordinary not because they are the exception, but because they are proof of what lies dormant in countless others. For every overlooked genius who beats the odds, how many more are crushed under the weight of those same odds?
We must ask ourselves: Why should brilliance be a lottery, reserved for the lucky few who are born into the right zip codes or circumstances? Why should genius be limited to those who can afford the credentials society deems valuable? Talent is not a luxury; it is a birthright. And when we fail to nurture it universally, we sow inequity and breed resentment.
By expanding our definition of competence, by fostering all minds — whether they learn in lecture halls, on city streets, or at kitchen tables — we weave a richer tapestry of human potential. When every person’s brilliance is seen, valued, and nurtured, we create a society where innovation flourishes, harmony deepens, and peace becomes possible.
The future does not belong to the gatekeepers of privilege; it belongs to all who dare to imagine it. Let us change the narrative, not just to reward brilliance where we expect to find it, but to cultivate it where it already exists — everywhere.

Fostering Brilliance:
To truly unleash human potential, we must dismantle the walls of outdated structures and embrace a broader, bolder vision of what brilliance can be. This isn’t just about solutions; it’s about transformation. We must cultivate ecosystems where talent flourishes, not by the standards of which we perpetuate, but by deliberation. Here are some paths forward, and perhaps, the seeds of more revolutionary ideas yet to bloom:
1. Blind Hiring — And Beyond:
Blind hiring practices strip away surface judgments, focusing on skills rather than status. But why stop there? Imagine hiring processes that invite portfolios, projects, and ideas instead of just résumés. Let creativity and competence speak louder than credentials. What if we asked, “What can you do?” instead of, “Where did you study?” Let potential unfold without preconditions.

2. Mentorship as a Two-Way Street:
Mentorship can bridge the chasm between untapped talent and opportunity, but let’s take it further. Let’s foster reverse mentorship, where those from overlooked communities share their insights with industry leaders. When the powerful learn from the unseen, new ideas flow, and hierarchies soften. Let knowledge be reciprocal, a dialogue where everyone gains.

3. Redefining Qualifications:
Why should learning be confined to institutions? Let’s celebrate the coders who learned by building, the designers who perfected their craft through YouTube tutorials, the writers who honed their voices in blogs and journals. Imagine credentialing systems that honor competence in action, not just competence on paper. What if we measured learning by impact, by innovation, by the courage to create?

4.Platforms of Visibility:
Diverse voices need more than just amplification — they need integration. Let’s weave them into mainstream narratives, decision-making bodies, and cultural frameworks. Imagine industry conferences where half the speakers are self-taught. Art galleries that seek talent beyond traditional curators. Venture capital that funds ideas from neighborhoods often ignored. Brilliance thrives when it is not only seen but embraced.

5. Investing in Curiosity and Imagination:
Let’s build community centers, digital hubs, and public spaces dedicated to nurturing creativity in those who lack access. What if we invested in everyone’s imagination as fervently as we invest in technology? What if the next revolution of thought came from a place society had long forgotten?

6. Cultivating Critical Thinking Cultures:
Education systems should be less about memorization and more about exploration. Let’s teach young minds how to question, how to create, how to think without limits. Instead of fitting them into molds, let’s give them the tools to shatter those molds entirely. What if classrooms weren’t places of conformity, but sanctuaries of possibility?
These are starting points, not endpoints. What other systems can we dismantle, what new frameworks can we imagine? Let’s dare to envision a world where brilliance is a right, not a privilege — where creativity isn’t filtered through status, but flows freely, from everywhere and everyone.

In fostering this new paradigm, we don’t just create equity — we ignite a revolution of thought, of innovation, of human potential fully realized. And isn’t that the very essence of progress?

Unleashing the Brilliance Within Us All:

Brilliance is not the birthright of the privileged or the credentialed — it is the heartbeat of humanity itself. It whispers in every neighborhood, every workshop, every soul brave enough to dream. It thrives in the hands of those who craft, in the minds of those who question, in the hearts of those who believe. To confine it behind walls of economic status or titles is not just an injustice to individuals — it is a betrayal of society’s potential.

Imagine a world where every spark of genius is seen, nurtured, and honored. A world where a child’s curiosity isn’t dimmed by poverty, where an innovator’s vision isn’t ignored because they lack the right letters after their name. In this world, creativity knows no boundaries, and ingenuity isn’t confined to the lucky few. When we dismantle the barriers of bias and credentialism, we release a flood of untapped ideas, solutions, and stories that can transform the way we live, create, and connect.

To build this world, we must be more than spectators; we must become architects of change. It requires us to unlearn old narratives, to challenge systems that exclude, and to celebrate brilliance wherever we find it — even in the most unexpected places. It calls on us to listen deeply, to see clearly, and to believe fiercely in the potential of others.

This is not just an invitation to fairness — it is a call to greatness. If we truly value creativity and ingenuity, we must open our minds and systems to include everyone, regardless of where they come from or how they learned. Our collective future depends on it. Let us rise together and create a society that doesn’t just survive on the brilliance of a few, but thrives on the brilliance of all. Because when everyone’s light is allowed to shine, we don’t just illuminate our lives — we light the way to a better world.

Imagine today your a Christian clown and your making a difference, well meet The Goodnews clowns, we have been blessed to do Many events and reach and still reaching people, we don’t paint our faces and we do FREE BALLOON ANIMALS, and this past year I contacted the CEO of Macy’s, our goal is to be in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade one day.NEVET GIVE UP

It couldn’t have been easy to have a daughter that dreams as big as I do. You and I both always knew that I was destined for something greater. So you poured everything you had into me to make sure that no opportunity was out of my reach.

Pride doesn’t even begin to describe what I feel when I look at you. To know that my immigrant parents, without any sort of formal education and a life of fear, danger, and oppression, provided me with the best education and privileges this world has to offer… it fills me with a sense of responsibility.

I don’t dream big for me. I dream big for our bloodline.

Growing up, I often thought about how easily my life could’ve turned out differently. If you didn’t have the guts to uproot our family to a whole new world, if you weren’t lucky enough to get that Visa, if you simply decided to settle somewhere else, I would’ve had a completely different life. One that may not have had as many opportunities as the one I currently live.

When thinking about that, it felt like I was given a gift. One that I would be selfish to throw away. One that took generations of blood, sweat, sacrifice, and tears, to finally make a reality. The more I learned about the history of our world, the more I understood how wronged we were in it.

Slowly, that sense of responsibility turned into an overwhelming guilt. Why did I get to live such a beautiful life of privilege when none of my ancestors before me were afforded the same? How could I carry on knowing that I lived in a world biased against my own people?

You watched me as I struggled with this strife. You consoled me as this guilt slowly ate away at my mind. You stood by me and continued loving me even when the demons got the better of me. As I was making decisions that broke your heart, you were still there to help me mend mine.

Through your unconditional support, I slowly began to dream again – to believe that a brighter world was not only possible, but that it was up to me to create it.

As I began sharing my story – our story – with the world, you gave me the space to do so. As I started to understand that I wanted to dedicate my life to the journey of self-discovery, you told me to go for it. As I decided to take all of my education and opportunity and throw away the stability of a traditional, good-paying job, you never doubted my vision.

How did I get so lucky to have parents like you?

Thanks to you, I’ve made a name for myself. I stand for something greater than myself. I teach, inspire, and encourage others to embrace everything about who they are because you taught me how to do that.

You taught me to never doubt myself and so that is exactly what I did, even when not doubting me meant taking on doubt from you. Still, I stood strong, like you showed me to do, and slowly showed you the vision I’ve been seeing all along.

Now, look at us! A family of business owners with a world of opportunities at the horizon.

We did it.

And by “we”, I don’t just mean me, you, and my sisters. I mean all of us. Dhadha, and Dhadi, and everything they did to raise you into the parents you became. Their parents after them and all that they taught them. All of our ancestors and every decision they made to make our bloodline as strong as it is to have made it here.

We did it. We finally made it to living a life of opportunity instead of a life of survival.

You see, dreams do come true. But, they aren’t made over night or even over one lifetime. Dreams are forged through the strife, the pain, the values & virtue, the traditions, the struggle, the hustle of generations of human existence.

We all carry the history of the people that came before us, and with that, the dreams.

So, Mommy & Papa, I know having a daughter that dreams as boundlessly as I do can be overwhelming at times. But, I think you always knew to some degree that I dream so largely and loudly because you never got to.

None of us ever got to until now. Until me.

I hope I make you proud in dreaming so loudly for all of us. Time to put our name on the map.

My bright light blinds most, no sunglasses will help
That is a fact that makes most mad
I used to not get why, but I figured it out –
My light illuminates what you run from
Illuminates all your fears and doubts
You seek the illusion of healing through drinking, smoking, sexing, popping, sniffing
Basically whatever buries your feelings
Convincing yourself that that is what cures your inside dealings
Not accepting that your running from your own war
You know the one you feel way down deep in your core
So when you see “lil ol me” you think
Who does she think she is? She acts like shes better than everyone else
Nah this is just what confidence looks like
And the truth is confidence used to feel so weird to me
Like learning how to ride a bike
But I used to wonder why not clap for me? Be happy for me? Proud of me? Why not support me? Cheer me on a little?
So I sat down and I had to figure something else out
People can only treat you as good as they treat themselves
I mean think about it, how would anyone give you more love then they give their own self?
So I can’t let what you say or portray bother me
Especially when your on a level that I used to be
One I had to train myself overtime to continuously flee
That is why you won’t understand what I do and you definitely won’t agree
You can’t see that what I’m doing is actually what makes me free
I no longer can let what you say affect me from doing me
Lil ol me is moving onto big ol lil me things
Sorry but not sorry if that makes your insides sting

When I make peace with where I am
I find myself feeling more
appreciation again, and then
the intuitive impulses start
coming in—so I can begin
taking aligned action. And these
steps lead, inevitably, to enjoying
the experience of being me.

In short, appreciation
for where I am transports me
to where, who and how
I want to be. But then—
again, I am back, it seems
—seeking the realization of new
as-yet-unfulfilled dreams—except
this time I understand
that the only thing in the way
of my realizing them
is the way this moment
is perceived.

So I make peace
with where I am, and find
appreciation again, for the fact
that I am always on the right path,
and it’s all working out in
my favor, ultimately.