Hey, you, old man.
This is a letter to yourself and from yourself.
You know all those things you’ve done wrong,
Regardless of who’s fault, or who’s right or wrong.
But this is not of that my friend…
Yeah, it’s amazing.You can call yourself friend now, but you are! ♥
I know those things I put myself and others through.
I remember the dreams and aspirations.All the good things I had for you.
Looking back is confusing and God it just makes me cry.
But I’m gonna try to leave You out too.Because this is a letter to myself. To maybe find out why.
But God I can’t, I can’t look back Because it hurts too much…
I can’t go to the beach, I can’t go to school, I can’t go to church, Sitting bereaved, I feel a fool.
But Lord, I can’t do it, I cannot watch.
Cannot go to Toledo. Cannot go to Cleveland cannot go back to jail, God what am I believing?
Cannot run to West Virginia, cannot hospital trend…
All along.I hated myself, yet all the while was a good friend. ☺
I can’t even write.I’m sorry I can’t do this.
All along my life, it was my own mark I missed.
But that’s a good thing because i’m not in hell…
Only I could see my place where ever if I made, could never get bail.
I’m sorry, no can do.
God thank you for saving me from me.

Because God loved me 1st-And I’m not of any less worth
My God is no respecter of persons-And He loves healing my hurting.
I love me because I’m trying-As I’m crying to care…
My Great God has made me beautiful-the person in the mirror!
I may have some good qualities instilled in me,
But the best-is alone time with God-on some humble knees.
I chose to love myself-though seems to me none else can,
So, I put God 1st, then the others, finally at last I stand!
I witness to people-telling them how much God loves them,
For all practical purposes-I’m reminded of love, over and over again!
God must see me special-He died for my soul to live,
Sitting patient through many lectures my earthly father had to give.
I love me because I’m not a robot, that cannot return the love,
It’s a free gift the Master Gave-Super, Sufficient enough!
I’m looking deep, staring into-the bottom of my heart,
And see the reason, steep to love-every brand-new day’s start!
I love me because I can love everyone else,
Even if they did me wrong-there’s no reason to not love myself!
Yes, writing this down brings tears to mine eyes,
So, learning to smile by overcoming frowns-is such a lovely surprise!
God sure does instruct me well-in His Word divine…
I love me by loving my wife-in sincere lowliness of mind.
I love me from emotions and feelings-that have become real,
I love me cause I’m sober, and love the souls-from all you at “The Unsealed”!
I love me because I see my mistakes, and when I make them-my heart breaks,
And because I’m not leading people astray-but point to Jesus who is The Way!
As Yes, I chose always wisely to learn, from all my dumb mistakes.
I love me for my friend-on this paper is how I pray…
This ink from my pen, will never run out-it just bleeds in a good way!
I love me because I love God, and have figured out-He hates me not,
I love me because I’m bought with His blood-that cleanses my sin a lot!
I’m loving myself because I’ve felt, and know the truth from lies-
Especially because this inside love-is finally leaving my past behind!!!
I love me because God has great plans for me…
And so, I let Jesus drive-and sit in the passenger’s seat!
Also, I love what it means to “be human”,
Living and growing, and returning loves sway…
And I am (through this poem)
Making “loving myself” a new practice every day!

Good for burdens to be done!

Thank You-The Unsealed,
Much Love-Timothy
4-4-24

They mean my daily chore-home work.
They mean my daily release-from drugs.
God, I want them so bad-But can’t…
These things mean-my sanity.

Ears ring loud-Alone.
None but Jesus-knows.
God, I tempt You not-but why?
Dids’t Thou not take me-long ago?

Still flying sober-how?
Dost Thou hold my tears-when?
Will they stop, could they ever-Be
Worth anything-to Thee?

I will write a poem-And fly.
I’ll crash down-Goodbye.
Can say words-no meaning heart?
Words kill-I’ve seen,
Through the light of another’s dream.

Was a nightmare-for both.
How can life and death-Be so close?
Walking in the Spirit…Live.
Walking after the flesh…Death.

Let God direct your steps.
Acknowledge Him every chance you get!
He will give beyond belief
Be humble and watch Him uplift.
God, I don’t know what will kill me first…
Mine own poor choices,
Or the source of a heart-attacks worth.

How much more?

My heart is just a doormat
Please come in and stomp your feet
Please lie to me, it sounds so sweet
Don’t tell the truth-weep bitter deceit

How fun this is-wouldn’t you agree?
This old heart can take it-for One takes all
One same literally made all!
Nor did He think it bad…

But said-It is good!

It seems Jesus is in my box
I’m alone in the room with it and Him.
Broken hearted-sore troubled am I
He is the mended miracle…

I don’t let Him out to try.

Is this holding the truth in unrighteousness?
That’s not what I want despite all this.

My heart is just a doormat
Please come in and stomp away…

Poems could make a heart unbroken.

Tuesday
Sept. 12th
2023

Walking through a weary land
Behold you find the rock
May you come thirsty, but not alone
And fall broken upon this stone

Out pours the Water-giving life to your soul
Free-this Living Water, gives your heart a home!
Tis’ so good to you that you want not to return
Back to weary land-please stay close and learn.

That He was always there for you-in your lonely times
He caught your every painful fall-and kept you alive!
Please give God the glory-the Great Savior and King
He is the great Healer-and the answer to your dreams!

Please let Him change you, for you to die not
So faithful He always is-loving you a lot!
He will not point out-sins daring glare
But He covers with His blood-eternal life He shares!

He will always pardon-by His Grand Master design
Dear precious child-He is with you all the time!
He hurts so much at heart-by your troubled pain
He knows all your going through-As for you He came.

Yes-He died a horrible death-just so you’d be free
And He lives beyond a guess-please this fact believe
Please with open heart-accept His perfect love…
He will lift you so much higher-than can any given drug!

-Brought to you by the Love of Christ-

I normally pre-mate poems with pen and paper But, this cannot wait any longer or later. Your words truly have pierced mine, and I remember surly the same state of mind. So, I will simply type on this phone my friend, even though it might not have another end. Sitting alone here on a 5 corner square, I look and see nothing in the middle of nowhere I will re-read your note that was truly wrote- From eyes of faucet water-in these tears I float. Though there’s no end at all to this telephone line, Emotions they do crawl from your heart to mine. Surly an addiction at the bottom of Erie’s Lake- I had no problem fixing every high I had to make. I would want to write to you from the bottom where it comes, But I don’t know if that is true, when mind games are so dumb. Nor has any heart bore but only similar strings, Unless one is ripped apart-it’s just not right it seems. I just cannot believe there’s people out there like me, Nor do I ever think I’m any better you see For God has made different all human existence, Yet we’re all still sinners so full of resistance And the very best thing that came from covid disease… Is the simple quote that had the note, “Please”. Now we clearly see, “We are all in this together”… In the same boat-(as light as a feather)… Is the message of Salvation for the world to live forever! The basis of a Christian is not a perfect life, It’s more of who’s been missing-but been found by Jesus Christ! It is that of progress and not of perfection… It’s a brand new spirit that with God has made connection! Jesus promised all that whosoever will… On Himself may call-that He’ll save forever still! All the talents and gifts He gave to express Of how it’s always Him to pull us out of our mess. And to lead the way over glassy seas to shore My dear friend I pray-may this heart get to yours.

As a writer, I often find myself discovering scraps of writing I have jotted down somewhere, or suddenly, a line will appear in my head that doesn’t fit anywhere or doesn’t feel good enough. Sometimes, I foolishly let it fly away because it wasn’t what I was looking for at that moment. I have pondered how we do this with so many things. We set expectations and order and refuse anything that breaks the pattern, even if the thing we are shooing away isn’t harmful but is healing. We become so strict within ourselves that we become the cause of our discomfort. We search for relief in one way and refuse to accept that anything other than that specific thing will help. There is a calming effect that comes with the familiar, but only because one thing helps us, it doesn’t mean something else won’t. Here is a little silly analogy. Only because you love fries doesn’t mean you can’t like mash. It doesn’t mean mash isn’t satisfying, even if fries are your favorite. The same goes for everything in life. Are you feeling sad? Then you probably know something that can help, but if you are being entirely honest, can you say you are open-minded and open-hearted to other options? We tend to dismiss things before attempting them and convince ourselves that something else won’t work until it stands no chance. I was against exercising for so long. Told myself that I hated it and did so with such intensity I couldn’t let myself feel how I genuinely felt. There was no benefit because I refused there to be one. I was determined for it to fail, so it failed; however, when I let go, gave it a chance, and approached it with openness, I learned it does a lot for my mental health. This is one example of many. It is strange how this links with my writing and how I have started writing down the notes I would abandon before, and the results have been incredible. Instead of telling myself they are awful and brushing them out the door, I let them stay a while. I give them room in my notepad and let them ruminate.
In summary, I am saying we are terrible at giving things chances, and we should open ourselves to everything. It is okay if you give something a genuine attempt and it doesn’t work out for you, but please try it. Download the running app, try those HIIT workouts, make that recipe you’ve been unsure about, and write the poetry you are sure will suck. In celebration of this, here is an ending of a poem my brain created that doesn’t have a body yet. Hopefully, one day, it will.
“Please call back later
I’m trying to sleep off the silence
And if you don’t understand
what I’m saying
Congratulations
You’re cured.”
(If you like this letter, I write these weekly on my website. I will post more here also, so make sure we’re friends.)

Say yes immediately!

Do not check your schedule,
do not consider
the consequences
until it’s too late.

Lose sleep
constructing
escape plans.

Remember:
anxiety is a loan shark
and it will find you!

Write the text and delete it
a few hundred times.

Google ‘how to safely
poison yourself’

Decide against it

Cancel last minute

and repeat.

Get up
the day has been
asking about you.

Shake off the dust
of your wallowing.

Unhibernate your
state of belonging.

I have seen skeletons
rediscover their heartbeats
so I have no doubt that you can, too.

Realign your bones.
Wash off the sins that your
sadness left behind.

Become fierce again
because the sky
Is toothless mouth
without you.

The sun lies awake
worried that he will never
get the chance
to cast your shadow again.

The wind has a scripture of things
it wants to whisper to you.

Turn your door mats around
so the world welcomes you.

Introduce yourself
like this world
owes you something.

It has left you breathless
for far too long.
You earned its oxygen.
Claim it!

This world is yours
for the taking
if you want it.

So get up!
The world
has been asking about you

it would be rude for you
not to answer.