Sunset comes in muted hues

Orange fire and baby blues

Seaside skies, so vast in views

Birds pass lovers, two by twos

The day erased to bygone news

Sunlight fades to starry muse

Gentle flames from bonfires fuse

Bring restful bliss from daytime’s ruse

From sunrise lies to nighttime truths

Our life resets when dawn renews

“Have a great day!” It’s a common wish among friends and well-wishers. We can easily say to someone “I hope that you have a great day today!,” and, unlike other hopes that we might have, is easy and effortless stuff.

At the core, it all depends upon what you make of your day. It has a different meaning for different people. Since we’re here, I’ll give you mine.

Simply put, my definition of “A great day” is easy as pie. A great day means getting up in the morning and being able to know that I have new episodes of podcasts to listen to in my feed.

Every weekday (barring major holidays), I start the day by listening to Nothing Personal with David Samson, a former Survivor castaway and President of the Miami Marlins. He’s smart, fresh, and funny.

A great day means that I can write. Since writing about combat sports is how I make my livelihood, I’ve had so many great days over the last six years.

Perhaps most importantly, a great day is one spent talking to and hanging out with the people most important me. The greatest days happens when my nieces get to spend time with me, their uncle.

Thanks for reading. Make this day a great one.

Here we are
22 years later
We smile, show teeth
The glow is upon our face
In the mirror
We no longer critique ourselves so negatively
We see a perception of time that is you
Recognizing Beauty
To finally accept us
You Love You
This is the woman you’ve longed to become
Our soul is at peace
Subconsciously we can hear the joys of a no longer battle
With our Competing Minds
Within Loving me we feel alive
You notice when you love you that you feel everything ten times better
From The wind you hear ruffling through the trees
To the stars you see at night shines brighter than ever before
You laugh so effortlessly
You let yourself be loved
Inside you have this feeling of light
Light that is not hiding behind the shadows of reject, loss of self respect
No dim light in sight
Opinions have no effect if negative, you take it like a grain of salt
It’s okay if they leave, we let them
& Leva ( Live)
Our beauty, Our Love within continues to grow , to prosper
A Muse a perception of me of true harmony
Can you hear the angels singing?
Our skin tinglingly
Our hair growing
Our crown showing
Here lies me
Coming out of the shadows
Using voice of reason
Understanding loving within & what it means to be loved
A magnificent thing loving you is
How it can make you hear the birds chirping around you
The sun shining on you
It’s a bliss
A reality
We are now
Present &
I Accept me
I truly love me

As I write this, it’s February 14th, Valentine’s Day, a day to celebrate love.

The phrase that comes to mind when pondering what love is – is “others,” aka being generous to someone else, as in NOT me. It is about making others happy.

When it comes to me, associating SELF with the word LOVE is as common as someone who doesn’t like Chinese food – very, very, VERY uncommon.

When the number reads 14, and the month reads February, for me, being single, the day is reserved for images of dark clouds and drooping flowers, instead of a rainbow perfectly expressing your range of beautiful emotions, whoever you are romantically attached to.

Reserving a table at your favorite restaurant, celebrating the day reserved to enjoy your significant others company is my personal definition of this day.

So, you can see why, as a single person, MY viewpoint of this day is filled with clouds and drooping flowers instead of the voraciously vibrant red roses.

I could point out a list of adjectives as large as jumbo popcorn: envy and sadness are a couple of kernels to explain how I feel about not having someone I am smitten over sitting on the other side of the table, making me feel that I’m with the only one and everyone at the same time.

Skewed and as untrue as it might be, having the one would make me feel whole. That said, as I am writing this, I am learning a very important lesson… there is a reason we have both iced and hot coffee.

So, with that, I’ll stop bringing out the appetizers and get to the main course: the reservation might be for two, just remember, adding a +1 does not mean you stop loving you, and self-love is love that NO person can give to you except ONE.. YOU!

And by the way, to my future Valentine (girlfriend) – since we love both of ourselves equally, we are splitting the cup because your self-love and my self-love is equally important to me and you.

-Who do you love?

-My partner, my family, my friends.

The list goes on, and even mere strangers make the cut.
And sadly enough, you forget the greatest love of all:
Self-Love.

If only they taught it to us in school.
Just as important as Math and Science,
Language Arts and yes, Health 101.

“When I get married…”
Those words echo through the school’s halls.
Young girls and women engraved to believe,
That we are not complete on our own.
To even the most romantic phrases like
“mi media naranja,” or “haf-orange” if you know what I mean.

Loving yourself is a life skill.
In searching for another’s acceptance and so-called love,
risk of losing your self-worth.
Is it worth it?

You deserve better.
Just love yourself first.
Sounds easy to me,
Until I remember the hardships endured by the women in my family.
Their sacrifice, my lessons.

Loving myself took some years.
I was single for a very long while.
First kiss, I think I was 21.
Some dates, complicated -ships, and even one night stands.
Nothing serious
because truth be told,
I was always happy by myself.

How did I do it?
Not even I know, but I suspect I was forced to learn to love myself
when my mom passed away.
Patience with my healing, setting boundaries, surviving.
Gradually wanting more for myself.
A love of my own: Self-love.
Then, a love of life.
Everything else
they say, falling into place.
First relationship and love at 29.
Shocking in this society.

Was it perfect timing?
What about fate?
Soulmates?
I will never know.
I adore my love and even then he knows my code.

Grief has shown me,
Whispered in my ear,
“Don’t base your life on another human being.”
I lost my mom and for a second believing,
I no longer wanted to live.
Insisting it’s different from wanting to die,
It IS different but still terrifying.
The journey taught me to be content
With just me.
Solitude, my beautiful companion.
Everything else,
a huge blessing.

My alone time,
so dear to me.
Just as important as family time, date nights, and work.
It’s something that my soul so desperately needs.
Practicing self-love,
the most important lesson to be learned.

I love myself.
These words replace the others before.
I love myself for believing in me.
For choosing happiness despite the mishappenings.
For ignoring the negativity, the people calling me naive.
I love just that,
the optimist in me.

My aura is black.
Black because they tried to singe me with deeds,
Black like the sooty soil that nurtures her seeds.
Black because before they knew who I was,
When I was given no choice or even some gauze
Black like the bird that sings to be free
Black because my memories haunt me

Black like the sheep who’s breaking chains.
Black like the hole that’s swallowing pain.
Black like the smoke twirling up through the sky
Black like the panther and her silent battle cry
Black like the ash that softens the earth
Black because now she knows her worth

Black like THAT little dress, brilliant;
the one that makes every woman feel resilient.
Black like the lace of her wings
Black in the sky that midnight brings
Black like the velvet in her gentle coos
Black like silk skin that into she grew

So now instead of green, red, or indigo
My aura is black
Black like obsidian
Black like pearls
Black like geodes
Black because my shadows healed it so.

I love myself cause God first loved me

I love myself because I didn’t like the old me .

I love myself because I am my longest commitment

But to love myself ain’t all rainbows and butterflies

To love myself means
to lose myself over and over again —in the process

I love myself because no one else was up for the challenge

I love myself because I wanna love you better and I can’t without it

I love myself because home should feel safe, freeing, and calming

I love myself because I don’t wanna keep on running

I love myself because I don’t need instant gratification

I love myself because I’m willing to wait and sacrifice for all things meant for me

I love myself because I owe it to myself to say goodbye to the old me

I love myself because I don’t wanna be 35, partying & hoeing

I love myself because I know what I want & I’m determined to work hard & go get it

I love myself because I can apologize when I realize of my wrong doings

I love myself because Depth — is hard to find

& Superficial — is depressing and boring

I love myself because Ik I don’t know it all
& Im willing to continue learning

I love myself because I love the world around me

I love myself because I’m humble and loving

I love myself because I want to give back & show my appreciation & gratitude to the one who
—despite my imperfections & flaws—

still chooses to love me ❤️🙏🏽

These are some of the reasons why

I love me

I have roses on my tongue

Velvet kisses, words with thorns

I have magnolias in my eyes

Silver petals that mesmerize

Orange blossoms on my chest

Cover my heart with their zest

I have orchids for my navel

Like a sprite from woodland fable

Through my waist and far below

Hidden garden with its glow

My body, vase of stems and leaves

Ivy wrapped around my knees

Small bouquet of scent and wonder

Arranged for all to gaze and ponder

Tend my garden, see me grow

Water daily, love will flow

Then pick my flowers with delight

For they’ll come back throughout the night

Dear Me,

Self-love has been a journey of a million miles after being torn down time and time again, insulted, hurt emotionally and physically. Self-love is difficult when you’re used to being lied to so much that your mind suddenly becomes your biggest bully. As I wrote in my poem about bullying that’s entitled Target “[when] the weight of the impact hits you repeatedly you learn how to fall apart without learning how to put yourself back together.” Self-love, that’s the chapter I’m on right now. I’ve read the words of Scripture that say “love your neighbor as yourself (Mk. 12:31)” and prayed for the courage to love myself as deeply as I love others. I’ve sat in the Confessional where a priest in persona Christi (in the person of Christ) pinpointed that I don’t love myself well. I’ve made many a visit to my therapists office with a self-love workbook in tow hoping that learning about it will help me to live it. It’s not perfect but I am learning.

I love how I’ve been unlearning the things I’ve learned from those who were trying to steal my light.

I love how despite the setbacks and difficulties you keep trying to put yourself together after you fall apart.

I love how you will say yes to anyone who asks you to dance because you want everyone to feel what it’s like to be accepted.

I love how you are everyone’s cheerleader. You believe so ardently in the beauty of other people’s dreams.

I love how excited you get when you get good news—you can hardly contain it and you just have to share with someone.

I love how you refuse to let apathy consume you but how you feel deeply and unapologetically.

I love how you speak from the heart.

I love how you valiantly stand up for the things you believe in even if no one is following you.

I love your tenacious spirit, your determination, and grit.

I love your ambition and drive to accomplish wonderful and beautiful things.

I love how you have a mother’s heart even though you have no children of your own.

I love that you want to heal the whole world with love.

But most of all if there is anything I love about you it’s this.

That even though the world has been so unkind to you, you choose to keep your heart soft and to be so kind to everyone you encounter.

Darling there is so much to love about you.

And I know that sometimes you forget that sometimes so I wrote this letter to you so when you’re down or discouraged and can’t remember any reason to love yourself you’ll have these 13 reasons to choose self-love.

Sincerely,

A passion so deep, it indulges in the most.
Infatuated with the lust life brings and the thoughts it hosts.
A passion so deep, it indulges in the most.
Head over heels in this rat race they boast.
A passion so deep, it indulges in the most.
Unconditional acceptance from the highs and lows.
Leave no room for judgment, whether bitter or love.
A toast for the unconditional love.
A passion so deep, it indulged in the most.
Body positivity now so mighty and haute.
Self love is key to staying afloat.
A passion so deep, let it indulge in your truth.
Reveal your potential and see your way through.
For these are the things I see within me, do you see them in you?

Why do I love myself?

There is that saying how can you love someone if you can’t love yourself?

Then again.
It has me thinking.
I love my family.
My friends.
Inanimate objects.
My creativity.

But at one point I was an afterthought
I spent a good part of my life.
Truly not loving me.
Liking myself never felt honest, real.
Didn’t feel worthy.
I never really drew too much stock of the idea of loving me.
And deep within I thought it was just enough.
Going through life. Being just blah
Giving parts to myself, to people. Who I didn’t love.
Just because I could. It was easy.
I was doing things just to make others happy.
While it didn’t make me happy.
I lost myself in the process.

Once I truly stripped myself down. To the core of me
That’s when I began to accept the fact that it’s OK.
To ask for help.
That. it’s OK.
To set boundaries.
Learn not to settle.
Be honest with yourself.

My Sadness
My Darkness
My Scars
The hopes I have.
The wanderlust of my mind.
Fully understanding of who I am

I began to love everything that is me.
I begin to see this light that I dimmed down for so long.

Then the realization hits that loving yourself is one of the best feelings in the world.
From now until when my time is up
I will always love me.

My soul reflected upon a judgmental society of mirrors. I’m imperfect. Flawed as temptation slept with my mental plane. Each scar, each mark a precious flower gently shining in the dwelling seas, a déjà vu of my sanctuary. My strength cleaved at the depths of beauty, caressing the temple which God has given me. Embracing my Lows, and yet impregnating the highs of self love. Preserved in a vessel of love, kindness fondled my gaze of brittle strength as I strive to deal myself within a life lived fully. It’s a story wrestled with aggression, seduced to its primal adolescence and yet my shadow tries me. It indicates a lack of empathy, a bridge between languages of self doubt and inability. Is it the real me? A person to fill my soul with acceptance. Is the good in me a side with regretful feelings. A half that is faded with disease as my shadow walks underneath my skin. Is he my kin, a friend that completes me in a fullness that is peace. I want this word off my mind, this self love that released things which kept me back. The good was always seeking, searching, yearning for this mistress of acceptance while the shadows kept me in the light. I dated the dark, undercover her abuse and stood by her side. Indulging with her my other half a self where love can truely reside. I am whole, I am enough, I am free in these times of self love, I find my peace. If lost I’ll find you again, I’ll stay focus with a purpose until the days end when I’m up to bat at your love deep within my soul and embrace worth the wait.