I wish I could wake up in the morning
To a house that’s prepped and made
No dishes or mess to clean up
The laundry is folded and put away

I wish that I was understood
That my efforts were noticed
And in return the context clues I love to scatter
Get swept up by loved ones
Offering to return the favor

I wish that I could walk the streets late at night
No mace or pepper spray in my line of sight
My keys are meant to unlock my door
Not clenched between my knuckles
Waiting to be bore

I wish that I could shake the hands
Of each passerby I encounter
Grinning widely from cheek to cheek
Exchanging pleasantries and
our hopes for the future
Morals aligning and feeling at ease
Knowing many people feel the same as me

I wish I had one perfect day
To rest and partake in hobbies
No work to stress
Just reading my favorite books in hotel lobbies
I would sing and dance and play in the rain
No anger left, no unresolved pain

Because womanhood is often a burden
That at times feels like a tyrant warden
Patiently waiting until my time is served
And knowing my aptitude is mildly absurd
But I often hope for the little things
Because to me they feel like extraordinary wins
And when this mindless duty is fulfilled
My perfect day will be without guilt

A Perfect Day is accepting there are no perfect days,
While there may be a flaw, a blemish upon the face,
There is the joy of lipstick,
A pop of color giving life to an old soul,
An iridescent smile accepting the stale reheated coffee, of which
Faded red lipstick stains still clutch on to old coffee mugs,
While the bittersweet memories remain intact,
An outlook has changed,
Despite being in bed tossing and turning the night before,
You spend your morning in gratitude,
Until you allow yourself to seize the day and run into life,
Allow yourself to not let your inner melodrama to bring you down,
You inhale the air of life, and exhale the negativity,
A perfect day is not allowing the bad dreams in your body
To dictate your awakened state of reality,
 
I find the best moments in a perfect day to be full of laughter,
Laughter and having a sense of humor helps provide sunlight
To a darkened room, I find that my perfect day is where my sister
And I laugh and giggle like two partners in crime,
My perfect day is filled with moments of calm and piece,
It is not just a perfect day, but a days worth of memories,
That happily sit with me,
I find that there are perfect moments in the utter realms of destruction,
Opportunities to make something broken stir alive again,
 
My perfect day is where I begin with a fresh mindset,
An early morning walk with the dog,
I allow my perfect day to not be a pity party,
But a day of forgiveness and healing,
A perfect day is flooding the darkness with pure light,
And not allowing the burnt stale coffee to foul my mood,
 
For in my perfect day I am freeing myself from what brings me down.

Sunset comes in muted hues

Orange fire and baby blues

Seaside skies, so vast in views

Birds pass lovers, two by twos

The day erased to bygone news

Sunlight fades to starry muse

Gentle flames from bonfires fuse

Bring restful bliss from daytime’s ruse

From sunrise lies to nighttime truths

Our life resets when dawn renews

“Have a great day!” It’s a common wish among friends and well-wishers. We can easily say to someone “I hope that you have a great day today!,” and, unlike other hopes that we might have, is easy and effortless stuff.

At the core, it all depends upon what you make of your day. It has a different meaning for different people. Since we’re here, I’ll give you mine.

Simply put, my definition of “A great day” is easy as pie. A great day means getting up in the morning and being able to know that I have new episodes of podcasts to listen to in my feed.

Every weekday (barring major holidays), I start the day by listening to Nothing Personal with David Samson, a former Survivor castaway and President of the Miami Marlins. He’s smart, fresh, and funny.

A great day means that I can write. Since writing about combat sports is how I make my livelihood, I’ve had so many great days over the last six years.

Perhaps most importantly, a great day is one spent talking to and hanging out with the people most important me. The greatest days happens when my nieces get to spend time with me, their uncle.

Thanks for reading. Make this day a great one.

Perfectly Equal

Once upon a perfect day
All were equal in every way

Not color nor gender
Did prevent the render

Of kindness and care
Bestowed on everyone everywhere

In fact, all differences at hand
We celebrated in fashion most grand

And an impenetrable sphere
Protecting both straight and queer

And those dark skinned and light
Surrounded our earth, preventing a blight

Which threatened evil and strife
Upon this our most perfect life

For hate may have been the prequel
But equal would be the sequel

On this most perfect day
Conjured and imagined my way

It’s easy — isn’t it
To look back on our life & remember all the worst
All the worst times of our life that always seem to come first

Like the first time — I experienced racism
The first time — I experienced bullying

The first time — my love was used against me
Or the first time — my heart was broken

There was a lot of first of “THE WORST”
But likewise — there were many first of the best

Like the first time — I got the job I really wanted
Or the first time — I graduated

Or the time I won my first real fight with ease
Or the first time a family member came home from jail surprising me

There’s been a lot of good moments
but I seem to have forgotten a lot of them

I’m doing my best now — to live in the present moment
—To soak it all in

Cause I know there is so much to be grateful for
—There’s always been

Like my mom choosing peace & safety over toxicity — for her children

No matter what — she never let fear stop her

She was unbelievable
She was unstoppable

She did the best she could with the hand she was dealt

Like getting that job that not only paid the bills
but also provided us with a warm free house

Or that one time she pointed out to her lawyer — how she was wrong

That was only one of the many steps she took — to obtain our freedom

I still remember the first time she met my little boyfriend

She offered to give us some money
—then suggested we go to Barnes & Noble
to drink some coffee

At the time it was so embarrassing—
But looking back now— She’s so funny
We were like 14 — Not 40

I still remember — I tried to avoid repeating history
but somehow history didn’t escape me

One day — I had to text my mom discreetly
I asked her to please come save me

I won’t go into detail — but that day she rescued me from hell

I remember the times my brother and I would go skating

Or this one time we decided to try out this game — where he had to try to make me pass out

& it actually worked — he did

Except I think he thought he killed me
I don’t know — but that shit is funny

Some of them were good memories
& some were bittersweet

I wish I could remember them all
but disassociation got the best of me

So here’s a few more that easily come to mind

Like when my first love never made me feel pressured
— Simply loved

Or when my second one spoke a prayer over me
That felt majestic & empowering
— Like freedom

Or when my friends and I thought we were cute — walking around the east side

Just waiting on the cute boys to drive by and say hi

Haha— those sure were the good times.

Then there was that time an important figure in my life somehow ended up in jail
Managed to post bail & still make it back in time to my baby shower

Or when that amazing teacher who quickly became family
Went out of her way to pick me up for school daily

Or when another amazing teacher who often went above and beyond

Was touched by some writing assignment I did
& surprised me with an unexpected gift

So yeah—

It is easy to remember all the worst — but there is also so much to be grateful for

I’m grateful for every glimpse of heaven I’ve ever received

I’m grateful for a badass mom & her vision to always
Push forward & succeed

I’m grateful for the village that helped raise me

I’m grateful for any friend who served a purpose in my life
Even if at some point — our lives no longer aligned

I’m still grateful for the good times & the memories left behind

I’m grateful for the short-lived respect & pure love I received —from my first love
My impossible baby

I’m grateful for the amazing son — my second one gave me

There is so much more to be grateful for
even from all the worst that were followed by the best

Or I don’t know — maybe fue al revés

Either way— I thank you God — My best friend

May I always be able to shine the light on the better side of perspective

May I continue to be able to see all the good that still lives within the broken world we currently live in

May we not only see the trauma we’ve endured through our struggling

But the perseverance & resilience we received simultaneously

So for both the good & the bad

I gotta be grateful for it all — and I am

25 December 2023
Christmas Day

“Weeping may endure for a night
But joy cometh in the morning.”

Psalm 30:5

My Dearest Sean:

As I was reading our friend Lauren Brill’s website, the community was invited to reflect upon and write a letter about our favorite day of 20
23. Sounds easy, right? Sometimes, as we enter the holy season of Christmas each year, we often reflect on the totality of the year. However, as a grieving mother, I found myself a bit challenged to write this missive as just 18 months, 13 days ago, you left this earth and transcended through the clouds, the galaxies, and the stars and onto God’s Paradise. It almost feels like a betrayal to feel joy but the reading of Psalm 30:5 lifts our spirit to do otherwise.

After much reflection, I chose Wednesday, 23 August as the day and date as the single day that brought much joy and therefore my favorite day of 2023. This summer day was the selected day that the inaugural Sean Scott Strother Memorial Scholarship Fundraiser was held. The scholarship was created in loving memory of you as a beloved son and amazing father. Additionally, you were such a “teckie” and enjoyed all that technology had to offer and that was manifested in your home life, your professional career as a software solutions engineer and in your extracurricular activities, including using technology to track biking with GPS. So it was apropos that we had envisioned a bright future for young scholars who plan to pursue a career in the Science, Technology, Engineering, Arts and Mathematics (STEAM) field, with College Now Greater Cleveland Inc. managing the fund.

The event Committee consisted of members of your family and dear friends. We had methodically and meticulously planned out all of the details for an outside event on The Bluff at a venue along the breathtaking shores of Cleveland’s beautiful Lake Erie! We were ecstatic!

Thumbs up! The day prior to the event, we checked the weather forecast and had expected good weather on Wednesday. However, on the day of the event, we woke up to gray skies and gentle rain which progressively became worse. There was significant flash flooding and thunderstorms and the hardest hit areas were along the lakeshore, with five to seven inches of rainfall. You know what I was thinking – that the expected guest list of 50 plus would begin to diminish.

Good news! As we entered the venue, a young server introduced himself to me and shared an inspiring word. He said, “Is this your event?” I answered affirmatively, apparently with a look of pensiveness. The server continued, “Don’t worry. Your event will be just fine! And, we’ll have a bit sunshine.” Unbeknownst to me, the venue staff had transformed the mansion to accommodate my event to a glorious indoor event! With that, guests who were not deterred by the ferocious storms, gray skies and flooding began to trickle in. Close to 80 individuals joined us – family, friends, colleagues, and your BFFs. Miraculously, at one point during the event, like magic, the sun was shining which afforded our special guests to venture out of the mansion and onto “The Bluff” overlooking the picture perfect Lake Erie. I believe that there was divine intervention. What do you think?

The fundraiser was awesome and successful! Every single one of your amazing friends, colleagues, family, new friends as well as event staff contributed to the success of this event! They showed up and showed out! Your closest friends created the most amazing silent auction baskets, lovingly entitled “Sean’s Favorite Things.” These unique baskets each reflected things that you enjoyed – Scotch, Date Night Basket, The Edible Art Experience Cookie Basket, Tech, Travel, Mobile Detailing and a magnificent piece of art by a Cleveland artist.

The keynote speakers, all who knew you personally, shared remarkable stories about your kind attributes, your education at Cuyahoga Community College and its impact on your career and weaved in the importance of education, technology and the STEAM areas as it relates to the economic development of our community. Your unique gift of being able to meet people where they are and go from “the mailroom to the boardroom” was just as important as your technology education.

We raised over $17K which was 59% over plan. As a result of such a successful fundraiser, in 2024, we will be able to offer a selected scholar from the Cleveland Now Strother Scholarship Fund a renewable annual scholarship!

August 23, was indeed my favorite day!

Sean, your influence is enduring as well as impactful.

I love you dearly and you are missed immensely.

All my Love,
Mom
(Janet Banks)

The Strother Scholarship Fund

Sean Scott Strother was born on Valentine’s Day 1982 during an era of the creation and proliferation of the first personal computer, the release of Nintendo, Game Boy, and the rise of the Sony Walkman. Sean’s expanded curiosity into the world of technology began with the arrival and opening of large box, designed with the iconic rainbow apple, containing the hot Apple IIgs, a powerful personal computer! With that, began his successful foray into the field of technology and its impact as well as application in everyday life.
Sean attended Lutheran High School East and graduated from Cleveland Heights High School. Sean served in the Ohio Army National Guard First Battalion. 145th Armor Company while pursuing an Associate degree in applied science from Cuyahoga Community College. While employed as a lifeguard at Beachwood High School, Sean was offered the opportunity to join Tremco, Inc. as an intern and later as a desktop support technician. From there, and with increased responsibilities, he joined Novelis, and Cleveland-Cliffs, Inc. Sean achieved his life’s career goals, by obtaining his dream job at BMC, a Global Software Company, as a Senior Solutions Engineer.

Sean was a proud dad and loved being a “Girl Dad” to his beautiful girls – Jada and Chloe; stepdaughters, Kamari and Kaliyah. One of Sean’s proudest achievements was raising funds to fight childhood cancers through the Great Cycle Challenge with his employer BMC Inc. team members where he was one of the top fundraisers. Sean was passionate about the Great Cycle Challenge because it enabled him to do what he loved to do, cycle, and raise funds to end childhood cancer and save little lives. Sean earned the respect of his colleagues who shared that he “was extremely smart, dedicated, super fun to be around and overall great person.” Sean had a unique quality in that everyone with whom he came in contact felt special, family, friends and strangers alike.

Applicants for the Strother Scholarship Fund must attend a College Now served high school in Northeast Ohio and graduate in the spring of 2024. The selected student will receive up to $2500 annually. This scholarship is renewable.

Started the year manifesting love and success
I had my share of failed relationships
So finding love in 2023 came unexpectedly
Our 1st official date just so happened to fall
On my mom’s death anniversary
What a hectic day
After my hair appointment
We went to the cemetery to visit my mom
How different that was
I’ve never taken anyone to visit my mom’s grave
If my mom was alive
She would have so many questions
So it was only right
A dinner reservation at Carmine’s
Because we both love Italian food
The rain couldn’t put a damper on our mood
Even though my silk press became frizzy
We took pictures to capture the night
Along the time square bright lights
Honestly that had to be the overall best day of 2023
As the month of June is often bittersweet to me
That day I forgot about the past pain that plagued my mind
Instead I celebrated new beginnings
And toasted to a brand new love that would continue to shine!