Being a Black Man and an Actor and Filmmaker, people sometimes tell me I should be happy when I see a Black person in a movie cause I am being “Represented.” Yet, I try to explain that I am not. My Family is from the South, particularly Louisiana and although I was born in Cleveland, Ohio, I have more of the personality and attitude of someone from Louisiana. Which means I do not see myself as less than a White person and nor do I listen to whatever music I am told is preferred by Blacks. I date women of all backgrounds and won’t mention my crazy ex who was Blonde and Jewish cause that is a whole ‘nother story. I’ve yet to see myself in any movie or film or TV show. A Black man in a Cinema has to be poor and struggling or a criminal or even if he is a good guy, he is locked in a box that people believe is Black. Recently a White friend of mine told me, I should not speak with an accent when doing business presentations. It is sad when you are constantly told what music to listen to, how to speak and that you need to act “BLACK.” People refuse to acknowledge that there are “Different Shades of Black” and just because you see someone Black in movies and TV, that does not mean We are being Represented.

I’m a writer and words have meaning. My Dad was a Marine and for him Action is what matters. I don’t expect him to say I love you, because that is not the generation he grew up in where Men expressed emotions. Yet I know he loves me when he took care of his family and bought me action figures (Star Trek or Superheroes) even when I broke the last ones. I learn from my Dad to be more of a Man who may not always say what he feels but shows it. I’m not going to ever hear my Dad gush with emotions and I don’t need to.

He didn’t say it when I was a little boy who wanted to make movies and he’s not going to say it now.

Paradoxically, I do use the words, “I love you,” but only if I mean them and I have did some action to show it is how I feel. I’m not going too much into my personal life though. I do that by writing characters and using fiction as a basis for truths I have found in life.

I have found some use “I love you” to manipulate others and their actions are the total opposite of Love. In writing and researching crime stories, I find Women and Men who have been abused verbally and physically by people who constantly say “I love you.”

So as the son of a Marine, I will say, if someone really and truly loves you, they won’t have to say it. You will know it.

Oddly enough one of my friends likes to compliment me in what can be called paradoxically jealous. He said, I was fearless.

The circumstances was I went and talked to someone while he didn’t. Often times I strike up conversations with people I find intriguing. I didn’t want anything but just to say hello.

My Friend, on the other hand, puts a lot of thought into how things benefit him and tries to make calculations on whether it is worth it to meet someone new.
I didn’t see it as being “fearless,” but just being friendly. I explained this to my Friend who didn’t get the benefit of saying hello to a stranger. Although I just decided to take the compliment and keep being fearless (friendly).

I told my Friend, sometimes you just have to do nice things and not want anything in return.

I told him a story from a movie “The Fisher King.”

ly saw a man alone and in pain. And he asked the king “What ails you friend?” The king replied “I’m thirsty. I need some water to cool my throat”. So the fool took a cup from beside his bed, filled it with water and handed it to the king. As the king began to drink, he realized his wound was healed. He looked in his hands and there was the holy grail, that which he sought all of his life. And he turned to the fool and said with amazement, “How can you find that which my brightest and bravest could not?” And the fool replied “I don’t know. I only knew that you were thirsty”