It was 2010 and Shakira was singing “La Torutura” at the Grammys or the VMA’S. I was 12 years old. Sobbing because I knew I would never look like her. No one would ever want me the way they wanted Shakira. No one would ever be blown away by my still non-existent hips. I was doomed to a life of ugly mediocracy and I knew it.
2007 I was told I had g…read more

Used and abused, but I still love you.
Tattered and torn, but still going strong.
Beaten and whipped, but still a little human.
Im sorry didn’t pay attention to you and your will to keep on. sorry I didn’t take better care of you
Now age sets in , paper mache skin wrapped around brittle bones, like a flag to a pole with out the glory.
No more…read more

When we were young mommy taught us to care for our bodies internally, clean our bodies and protect our bodies from falling and breaking bones. As we got older I learned I was supposed to love you. Unfortunately someone robbed us of that authentic love. Someone you thought you could trust. I hated you. I wanted to hide you. I didn’t want you t…read more

You love me through my hardest days, when I can only see my flaws
You carry me at my heaviest, you always give your all
You might complain every now and then, but you always pull through for me
Sometimes I wish I could trade you in, but you’re the only one for me
You’ve changed so much throughout my life, and there are only more changes to go…read more

to my body,
we’ve been together for my whole life
yet there is so much
i’m just starting to learn about you

remember that time our doctor
suggested that we get on birth control
because i couldn’t handle the pain
that you conjured
in that process where
you give me a monthly opportunity
to bring life into this world

i didn’t understand how har…read more

Dear Future Body,

I’m writing to affirm my renewed commitment to you,
to nourish you,
to set you up for success. 

We’ve been through a lot over these 30+ years and more recently,
I feel like I’m pushing the boundaries of what is it to care for you/us beyond this very moment.

I’m relearning what care looks like,
I discovering what true sel…read more

Dear beautiful woman,

You ever wake up most days, and you’re all smiles? Yeah, that’s a great feeling! The way I see it is, If you can get through 245 of the 365 days in a year being happy, then that’s a pretty good year to me. That possibly leaves you with 120 days of uncertainty.

How do you feel on a day-to-day basis? What are you thank…read more

I didn’t really know how to go about this but: I have alopecia; this isn’t a haircut.
I know, I know it looks like I get this done-
but that’s not the case.
See its felt strange lately, with all of the “shorty I like your cut”
& “what’s your shave setting”; because when I first moved here it was a lot of “god bless you” & “are you okay” whispers…read more

You my temple, have been tampered with. However, you’re still standing. You’re still mine. You have been abused in all sorts of ways, yet you stand strong, and this is the reason I stand strong. Physically, emotionally, mentally, beside others, besides myself. Over and over, time and time again. You still heal and shelter me from this life I have…read more

My love, you are home
You are not just another revolving door
You are not a temporary place for unworthy individuals
Who are too inconsiderate to take off their shoes
Because they’re only entering for one thing and nothing more

My love, you are special
I’ll always be overprotective over you
Not everyone can reciprocate your pure int…read more

You carry so much weight for me.
The pounds I’ve gained in the past year,
my trauma and internalized fears.
I appreciate how you comfort me.
You keep me warm in the winter
after I’ve hidden you in the summer.
I love admiring you in the mirror.
You look so good from this angle,
but don’t move or I might hate you again.
You’ve carried…read more

The women he paints
In pastels but mostly blue
Reveling in intimacy
Bathing just standing
Bending without a care
At first glance
not models
But women, they are.
Muffin tops
and never toned
Humans, Women, Tender creatures.

Curves and love handles like vines
No start or finish line
All intertwining,
A beautiful mystery,…read more

Dear Body,

I love you because I severely dislike you.

At one point, I did not know if I would need a helmet to protect me from physically breaking a bone of yours. That is not my only bone to pick with you; it’s hard to swallow that everyday activities are challenging because of you: shoes, buttoning shirts, opening cans, etc., are taxing, b…read more

Dear Body,

I’ve been meaning to write this letter for some time and it’s taken me years to find the words but I felt it’s important you finally know how I feel.

You know we’ve had a complicated relationship. For decades, I felt that you didn’t hear what I wanted. That try as I might to change you so you better reflected me and who we are toget…read more

Something straight from Song of Songs is what I feel for you.

For me.

Staring at my reflection, bare and soft and brown and fluid from each angle, I begin to understand where God was going when He created me.

Safe inside my mother’s womb – the closes place to divinity, everything about me formed: fearfully and wonderfully.

Hair that c…read more

My body is a vessel-
not merely just a shell.

It Guards and protects me
when life goes to hell.

My life force sturdy, reserved at best
Intact strength- nothing less!

The scars are written with each embrace
The memories hidden behind my face.

At one glance, all is well
What’s beneath the surface is more than I can tell.

My h…read more

Dear Body,

I never know how to start letters.
I’d ask how you’re doing, but I’m happy to say I think I’ve finally a pretty good grasp on finding the answer to that.
For years I ignored your requests and even demands.
Thought you were too much and needed to be less.
Thought not eating would impress.
Tried to squeeze you into boxes you weren’t…read more

Dear Body,

For years you protected me
Shielded me from the truth
that our twelve your old brain
couldn’t comprehend

For years you stored the memories
of callused hands clamped over our mouth
Hot breath in our ears
The grip of a grown man’s hands on our
Twelve-year-old wrists

He forced you to become
a House of Shame and Secrecy
No one wil…read more