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tealy submitted a contest entry to Write a letter or poem to your Body 9 months, 2 weeks ago
treasure hunt
to my body,
we’ve been together for my whole life
yet there is so much
i’m just starting to learn about youremember that time our doctor
suggested that we get on birth control
because i couldn’t handle the pain
that you conjured
in that process where
you give me a monthly opportunity
to bring life into this worldi didn’t understand how hard you worked
and i numbed your remarkable pain
for the next half of my lifei didn’t want to feel you
…and i didn’t
but i also didn’t bleed every month
for fourteen yearsi didn’t realize that i’d been
hurting you, to numb
the pain that you caused me
but what i did to you wasn’t healthyit’s been almost two years
since that other gynecology appointment
we went to
when our new doctor told us
that we were making an uneducated decision
to get off birth controli’m so glad we didn’t listen to her
i feel as though
i am just starting to understand you
and myself
in new ways since thenyou took some time to bounce back
from what i did to you
but after seven months
you started up that process againthe pain and blood rushed back
and now you operate like clockwork
i’m learning how to ease the pain
with lifestyle changes
and tracking our cycleturns out, i’m learning a lot about
my emotions
now that I’m communicating with you
on our endocrine systemthank you for coming back to me
after i had shut you out for so long
i feel as though
we are healing togetherour dad sees it too
last time we saw him, he said
“you look like you put on some weight.”
he said, “you look healthy.”our doctor doesn’t have us
do ‘weight check-ins’ anymore either
i’m finally willing to listen to you
to stop depriving you
of food, water, and lovethose unpredictable and disorderly dots
you cover me in…do you remember
how badly i wanted to scratch them off
as a teenager because ‘everybody’ didn’t have them
and I was so insecure
about how we were differentnow, when i look in the mirror
i appreciate the incalculable speckles
scattered across our skin
trickling down us from head to toesometimes, i can even hear
my late grandmother
telling us that we, “have the map of Ireland
on (our) face.”if i had been more patient, i wonder if i
could have loved our natural nose
when i was sixteen, i thought that nose-job
would fix my issues i had with you
and while i love our new nose,
i can see how little
appreciation and adoration
i have given you in other waysit’s almost like, once i accepted you
accepted the pain
accepted the differences we had from others
accepted the messages you tried to give me
i found your beauty
by discovering your beauty
i truly began to discover myselfgone are the days where I numbed
myself from you
when our ribs felt as though
they could poke through our skin,
when we did not bleed,
and matte make-up
turned our map of Ireland
into a treasure huntVoting is closed
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Taylor, this is so good. I am glad you found peace with your body and your cycle. I am the same way. I recently stopped drinking caffeine to help with some of my symptoms. The map of Ireland in the form of freckles sounds so beautiful to me. I am glad you are embracing them and all of you. Keep falling in love with you. Cliche but true …You are perfect just the way you are. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being a part of The Unsealed family.
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Lauren, thank you so much for the kind words and support! I hope that you’re finding some benefits with stopping caffeine and kudos on giving that up- it’s not easy to break habits but it’s very interesting to notice how significant gut health is in general (I worked for a wellness doctor who was very adamant on our guts being our second brain so, he emphasized significance of nutrition and supplements- specifically fish oil and polyphenols aha). Again, I hope your symptoms are improving without caffeine! That expression about the map of Ireland in relation to freckles is like a core memory from my childhood so, I really appreciated this community/prompt that brought me back to those fond memories. Thank you for supporting my journey in self-love, I want to send the same loving kindness toward you and just express my gratitude for what you’ve done in creating this community. I apologize for the delay in getting back to you, (maybe tmi but I have been inspired by all that this community/family offers and am saving for a laptop to make it easier to engage with the community; so, I hope to have that soon and really look forward to being more involved on here). Thank you again for all that you do Lauren, it truly means so much to me!
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Dear Taylor,
I am so glad you have found peace with your body. I hope you continue your positive journey of self love. Your words have touched my heart.
Shelley
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