You my temple, have been tampered with. However, you’re still standing. You’re still mine. You have been abused in all sorts of ways, yet you stand strong, and this is the reason I stand strong. Physically, emotionally, mentally, beside others, besides myself. Over and over, time and time again. You still heal and shelter me from this life I have been blessed with. You have gifted me with the strength I face this harsh world with. My armor, my shell.
You have gone from a structure I struggled to build with weight to a structure I try to remodel by losing weight all these years later.
I have carried children well past the mark of a delivery date, only to have them cut from me because they were too comfortable to leave naturally. You have given me the greatest gifts I have ever been bestowed with. My boys. Now you have blessed me with another child, a blessing only God can have granted us with when he implanted this child in you.
There are days I feel old and weak, too old to partake in this journey once more. You prove me wrong and get me though another day.
You heal quickly with no help from the medical professionals. That impresses me daily. The amount of pain you have encountered cannot be imagined or described. If I didn’t experience it, I wouldn’t believe it myself. I trust you now more than ever. Witnessing and mentally being apart of the recovery has led me to believe that the only person that has the power to destroy you is me. I will be better. Kinder. Gentle from now on.
I apologize for my mistakes. Please forgive me for my sins against you. I take full accountability for what you have endured and I now find myself having the need to not only forgive others, but most importantly, I must forgive myself first.
I want nothing more than to stop surviving and to start living the life you have carried me through. You have been my protector all these years and now it’s my turn to protect you.

You’re in excruciating pain, scared and confused. That’s due to the multiple skull fractures. You will always be reminded of what happened because of the lifetime of pain you will endure, but you heal. Better than anyone could ever have imagined. Despite the amnesia, God will allow you to keep the memories you have made with your children. For this, you are grateful. Unfortunately, memories of that night are also something that stays with you, but you see it as a starting point from how far you’ve come. This is also something to be grateful for.

After he fractures your jaw, he uses pliers in an attempt to remove several of your teeth. He wanted a souvenir. God is with you when this happens, therefore he ends up with nothing. The dentist is the only one who collects a tooth several months later. It’s necessary for the healing process. In time, you will find yourself able to enjoy dinner with your children again.

You regain your hearing even though he ruptures both of your eardrums. God will allow you to hear your Autistic son speak his first words eventually. That’s when you’ll realize your life will be filled with miracles that have nothing to do with that night. This is when you stop counting your blessings and accept them in abundance.

It will take over a year for you to ovulate the way a woman should. That’s okay. Eventually the pain you experience due to the trauma inflicted to your uterus lessens. You’ll only be reminded of it when menstruating. At times, you’ll think about the little girl that you always wanted but push those thoughts aside when you remember how lucky you are to have two sons already.

It was rape. There is nothing that you could have done differently to change the events that unfolded that night. Be kinder to yourself. It will take years, but the nightmares will subside. You will no longer find yourself drenched in tears, awoken by your own screams. God will allow you to dream again.

You survive. Your mind, body and soul will be forever altered, but that’s okay. You will struggle with relearning everything you have forgotten, because of this, you will evolve into a different person. A better person. One who displays strength and compassion in all that she does. You will piece yourself back together and the broken in you will be your beauty.

God will allow you to heal. He will assure you that this happens through the love and bond you have with your children. They will repair you mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. Remember to thank God for this in your prayers daily and thank your children by reciprocating the love they use to save you with. Love is all they have to give you; that’s all you will ever need to make it through another day.