Dear You,
It has been such a long journey in this adventure of self love, but I’m so proud of how far you’ve come. After all that you’ve been through, you still glow as bright as the sun. I deeply admire your resilience and ambition to find yourself again. Seeing you fall back in love with life has shown me to stop and appreciate all the little things that make life so beautiful. Even on the days where your light is dim, you still keep your head up and remind yourself that healing is not linear. You always trust your gut whole-heartedly, and fearlessly face your emotions without hesitation. Even the hard ones. The way you hold room for yourself to not be perfect is inspiring. You love and accept your flaws head on, with grace. Watching you grow and evolve into the person you are today is such an honor. Always stay true to who you are.
Love, Yourself

I am learning to love you.
I am learning to love your smile and the way your chubby cheeks make your eyes chinky.
I am learning to love the extra curves around your hips and waist.
I am learning to love your deep and rich skin tone and coily hair.
I am learning to love you because you deserved to be loved.
You deserve to be loved in a way that tailors to all of your love languages.
You deserve to to be loved because your first priority is the needs of others.
You deserve to be loved even when you don’t feel worthy.
Even when you don’t feel worthy I promise to never abandon you.
Even when you don’t feel worthy I will still speak to you like a queen.
Even when you don’t feel worthy I will learn to love you.
Because I love you.

As I walk along the long road, the road we have known all to well,
you have turned to me and asked, Why do You love Me?

I was taken aback, astonished to hear this question echoing in my thoughts.
In the windows of the shops I see the flashes of our life, glimpses of the past from my memory.
Finally I can reply to you about why I Love You, and the answer is simple;

I Love You for your Forgiveness.

Through the Times that I saw no hope;
Through the Times I’ve pushed you away and wished you were someone else;
Through the Times that My anger at the world was thrust upon you;
Through the times when I had no idea how I was going to survive;
Through the times that I’ve Hated how You Look and did everything I could to change you;

You Have Forgiven Me.

You Never wavered in Having Hope;
You always knew that you were who you need to be;
You always knew that when I was tearing you Down that it was from My Perception of Society;
The Rage and Sadness that Scarred You was not your fault, but Rather just me trying to Feel Alive.

Even Now I still want to Change You sometimes, but I know that I would Lose a Part of me if I did.
As I walked I realized I am alone at home, in the bathroom.
I turned to the Mirror, facing Myself; knowing that everything I saw was Simply in my Mind’s Eye.

I Love You for Forgiving Me.

It started as a day like any other, and then she showed up at my door. A friend I met only a couple of weeks ago. Tall, smart, funny: an all around cool girl. She said “I love you,” and time stopped. Creeping fear surrounded me, chilling me to my core. Suddenly, I was pulled back from myself to look at the crime scene that was our friendship, to see what went wrong. Was it something I said or did? Was it the memes we shared? Something had changed to cause this, and I had to get to the bottom of this mystery.

Motive: It is around valentine’s day and people can feel particularly lonely around that time of year, and my friend has told me they have been feeling isolated and alone. Means: We are both single, I didn’t think either of us is looking for a relationship, or so I thought. Opportunity: Shared interests, talking more often recently and just generally good vibes. Verdict: inconclusive. More information required to figure out what happened.

With only one lead, I confronted the person who reported the crime, my friend. All I could think to say to start my interrogation was “Nice… as a friend right?” She laughed and responded saying “Of course. You have a comforting presence, you’re honest and you make me feel heard and seen, and I love that.” And the case was solved. Oh, right. There was no crime to be solved in the first place. I’m trying to fix a problem that doesn’t exist again. I’ve always tried to be there for my friends when they need me, to hear them out, make them feel comfortable and safe, which I consider an act of love. I love that about myself, but it is not often received or reciprocated as love. People have different definitions of what love is, or feels like, so sharing love can be difficult. Turns out when you make space for people to feel vulnerable, safe, understood, and “Loved”, a response could be appreciation through love. Mystery solved.

The reason I was so confused and scared was my inexperience with verbal platonic love. Love isn’t always a transformative word, one used to describe feelings moving forward. It can be a statement of the present, of who you are currently. Being seen and understood, and told that I am loved for who I am are things that I am out of practice and uncomfortable with. I really only hear it from my family, which can feel like an obligation. Most men only hear “I love you” from their partners romantically, and almost never platonically.

I’ve been in a place recently in my life where I’m meeting and spending time with new people who have similar interests and beliefs to myself, and they have similar definitions to love that I do. Being vulnerable, honest and open to new experiences has changed my life rapidly and adjusting and adapting to it has been a journey, and honestly a little scary at times. I’m working on being more comfortable with being loved and accepting love, and I love that for me.

The reasons why
By Nahomie Nicole

In a world so busy
In a world sometimes cold
In a world often isolated
Your love for you, shines through for you
You matter to you
You get up for you
You fight for you
You give up on you
When you realize it
You rise for you
You’re your biggest enemy
Your biggest downfall
Your biggest competition
Through it all, you matter to you
You know, no one has your back like you do
You wish the world had more like you
Solid, capable, intelligent, so beautifully designed
It gets no better than you.
In a world so busy
In a world sometimes cold
In a world often isolated
You love you
This is why you love yourself
So continue fighting for you
Continue rooting for you
Continue shining through
And say to you
These are the reasons why

To the one that moves me most,

Are you still breathing, living and being? It’s seems you are, and that should be a sincere sign of the learned unconditional love that I have for you.

When giving yourself flowers wasn’t enough. When taking yourself on dates wasn’t quite giving the depths of love you craved for your soul, you found what satiated your internal.

I love the way you stare into people’s eyes when they speak to you, making sure they know you are lingering on every word they’re offering. I love the way you gaze off and allow yourself to dream past the sky that lays down thin blankets of limitation.

There’s a tenderness when you caress the ones you love and a desire to do everything you can to make sure they feel open. Zealous and passionate you are, even when you feel alone in your tenacity. When you want to scream, you allow yourself to dig deep and bellow. When you want to cry, you move beyond one lonely tear and allow rivers to flow. You feel deeply and for that I love you.

The joy that arises when you watch people do their best and the peace that overcomes you when you stand by the ocean goes beyond human comprehension. I love the many times you’ve pulled money from the holes in your pockets or sacrificed your last to make sure others went first.

Your convictions stand stronger than the mountains people always talk about moving. Your quiet voice thunders when it’s time to stand up for what and who matters most. Your voice draws in responses to its melody. Even in all your thundering, shaking and definite declarations, you cause people to melt softly.

Your jokes are so timely and you smile even when others don’t. Sometimes you trip over your own two feet and laugh on the way down-never thinking about bringing other people down with you. Remember when you overcame your fear of babies, held one close and decided then and there that they would one day be your forever?

I love it when you strike with your tongue, then walk away and come back to apologize. You dance, sing and create with abandon. You see what is often missed and build tables for those who feel they have no place to dine.

Then, there was this one time where you looked in the mirror and stared into your eyes with disgust and anger. You hated everything about your body, mind and spirit. Suicide was too scary to fathom but you needed it. You turned on the faucet and let the sink fill and rise to the top. How silly this attempt was, but how serious was that moment. You submerged your face into it, waiting to see if you would allow yourself to actually drown.

You went down in the grips of death and came up gasping for aliveness. You wanted life. You wanted others to want life. With the sound of rushing water in the background, eyes closed and breath depleted, all that you could envision were others on the same ledge. You tried to scream for them but your lungs were filled up and the only way to save them was to choose.

See, I love you for your fight, your honesty and ability to forget afflictions. I love you for your dimples, your love of coffee and the way you chase adventure while navigating loneliness. I love you because love is stronger than death. I decided to let you live when you wanted to die due to my adoration for you.

Just like you shake foundations within everything you do, You move me and I want to be moved like that for as long as we live.

I love you because we understand the perfectly diligent hands of the one who has made us and each stitch from those hands brought an inheritance of power, beauty and worthiness. Until the not so untimely end, I will love you because of this inheritance we encompass.

Love,

The one who will always be moved.

Today I decided to write a letter to myself. However, I wanted to be honest in this letter, I wanted to be honest about the process of coming to love myself and how it’s all coming together. Loving myself hasn’t always been easy, in fact it’s been one of the scariest journeys I’ve ever embarked on. I know for others loving themselves may come naturally. However, for me, loving myself has been a process and loving others always felt so much easier. This is why instead of loving myself, self-sabotaging and people-pleasing came more naturally to me. Growing up I did not have the luxury of being taught the gift of loving myself, to honor myself, respect myself, or cherish my own thoughts and feelings. I wasn’t taught to truly value myself and my own opinions. Although I did not possess this gift early on, I always pretended that I loved myself unconditionally. However, deep inside I would scold myself for making simple mistakes, like saying something “dumb” or never being on time for anything. Or even not being the perfect parent, spouse, etc.. for years of my life, I wore a facade that covered how I truly felt about myself. I struggled with accepting myself. I struggled with comparing myself to others and I also accepted all the loud intrusive thoughts about how I wasn’t good enough. So, you see, loving me hasn’t always been easy. Nonetheless, I cannot help but think that even in all the chaos, even in the facade and the intrusive thoughts, the only one who has been able to keep me afloat is me. I was the only one who continued to show up for me every day. Which leads me to think that maybe I have not given myself the truly deserved credit, in this process of loving myself. So, if I had to write a soppy love letter to myself today and answer the question of why I love me, I would say “you have helped me to push through all the lies, doubts and fears of loving myself. Because you did not give up on me, even on the many days that I wanted to give up. You did not lose sight of who you truly are regardless of the lies, me or others told you. Over the years you have given me a new perspective on loving and accepting me. Other qualities about you that have helped me through this process, is your resilience, your strength to endure and your ability to take every false word about yourself and turn it into something good. Over the years I’ve learned that although, I wasn’t born with or taught the innate gift of loving myself. I have a choice to love me anyway! I have a choice to love myself every day. I could choose to love myself beyond what used to be a rooted fear and disbelief of myself. I could truly take off the facade and love myself for the great women I have come to be. For starters, I am a mother, a sister, a daughter and a friend and before any of those things I am honest, open, loving, accepting of others, caring and very passionate about the things that I love the most. I am a creative person, who enjoys turning the ugly things or not so good things into something amazing. I enjoy telling stories and getting lost, freely writing and expressing my feelings. I am someone who sees the beauty in everything and everyone. Now, I realize I can be all these things and more, because this is who I am at my core.. No longer do I have to People-please to seek validation, or self-sabotage because of disbelief. I can truly love myself in a way that is self-assertive and unconditional. No matter what mistake we, so happen to make, we can look past that mistake without wearing it as a tag to our overall self-esteem. I think that I would say to myself going forward that although this journey can be scary, uncertain and sometimes even lonely, don’t ever quit or stop acknowledging all of your small efforts of loving and honoring yourself daily. Don’t get too caught up on your hang ups, but instead, remember that loving yourself always begins with the decision/choice to choose to love you above all else, beyond all the lies. Even the ones created by you. These days I would say that I am more accepting of myself, more patient, more kind, more loving, gentle and overall good to me. This has been the process in which I have come to love myself, and now it’s time to love my neighbor as I love Me! 😉
P.S
A letter to Myself

Your pages are torn and shredded yet the story inside is so compelling.
It’s one you can’t put down, as you anticipate what’s to come.
You’ve been handled so rough but your binding stays unharmed.
You mustered up courage to survive the harsh storms.
You who was once closed off and unable to share the contents inside.
Has now become my favorite novel full of surprises.
You were afraid of the world and pressures of life.
Now you embrace the challenge with a smile so bright.
The story of you is no longer hidden.
You learned to love wide open, unafraid of what’s written.
You ignore the corrections made by critics.
As you are the author of this life and of you.

Self love
What is self love?
Self love is:
Loving yourself
Appreciating yourself
Growth
Happiness
Accepting
Well-being
Self love
It’s different
For everyone

I’ve struggled
With self love
With loving myself
With accepting myself
My whole life
It’s been a journey
Finding myself again

I’ve been
Made fun of
Teased
Bullied
For how I look
For my size
For the scars
On my body

You’re so small
How tall are you?
What size shoe do you wear?
You’re so small
You’re head is a hand rest
I could shove you
In my pocket
You’re a midget
Pint-sized
A shrimp
Kids are taller than you
What’s with all the scars?
Why do you have them?
Look at her tummy?
It’s all messed up
She’s got two belly buttons
Look at her neck?
She’s got a hole in it

Kids are mean
Kids are bullies
Kids are cruel
Kids don’t understand
Becoming the girl with the tummy scars
Becoming the girl with the hole in her neck
Becoming the small girl with tiny feet

I was embarrassed
By my scars
But I know now
They show strength
They show I survived
They show I lived
Despite the odds
Despite the complications
The multiple surgeries
I endured as a baby

I wished my feet were bigger
To fit into real women’s shoes
But now I don’t mind
Having small feet
I can fit into kids shoes
Finding shoes for cheap
I still can fit into women’s shoes
If I’m looking for something fancy

I always wished I was taller
Like it wasn’t fair
The tall gene skipped me
Like why?
But I have expected my size
I can fit into kids clothes
For cheaper
I can still find lots of cute things
In smaller sizes
I can fit anywhere
I can push my way
Up to the front of concerts
I’ve Learned to climb
Things with ease
To reach high things
I’m not small
I’m fun size

So yeah
It took awhile
To find myself again
To love my self again
To accept my self again
To love my body again
To accept my flaws
To love my flaws

I’m still learning everyday
To love myself
To accept myself
To love my body
Scars, flaws and all
Some days are better than others
But I’m no where near where
I was before

Life feels dark and gray
despite any good, I feel myself going astray.
Chaos in my mind and sadness in my soul
Most days I’d like to curl up inside a little hole.
What I love about myself most
is even when it’s dark, give up? I don’t.
Wallow for a moment, feel it and let go-
What is this teaching me, how can I grow?
It won’t feel like this forever so I need to just flow.
Love that I find balance between discipline and rest.
I swear, not judging yourself amidst the chaos will leave you feeling your best.

Beautiful me,

It’s been a while! There has been so much noise around us that it makes it feel like we are far away. But that’s impossible. I am always within you, embracing your heart and soul every step of the way.

I want to say: Thank you for everything! Thank you for the life you have given me! I need to tell you because I can hear your thoughts sometimes, doubting and being so hard on yourself. Please stop that! You have made me incredibly resilient! Ever since we were little curly-haired babies, you have dared to run towards your biggest fears and you keep overcoming them; You wanted to see the world, and here you are, calling home the most incredible places you could ever dream of. You have challenged yourself and you conquered with kindness, hard work and imagination.

Thank you for being funny! Yes, you are undeniably funny! Even when you don’t want to or even try, you bring smiles to your loved ones and even stranger’s faces. You are always praising people that you think have what you call “transparent souls”, and I am here to tell you that you feel so drawn to them because YOU ARE one of them!

Thank You for being so strong and breaking up with that due when you had to! Freeing our time and our path to open up to the most beautiful time of your life so far.

Thank you for giving us time alone, to actually get to know and most importantly, love ourselves.
Thank you for doing the work! For realizing that sadness and misery were not our natural states, and you got us out of there! You forgave the world, but most importantly, you forgave yourself!

Thank you for all the sad moments where we have held ourselves with compassion and patience leading us again to the ways of happiness, contentment and peace.

And lastly; Thank you for getting yourself some traveling poopourri! Saving ourselves from anxiety and providing the comfort to liberate our bodies at any point that we need! It is indeed the little things that make so much impact!

I hope you hear me and feel me again soon! I can’t wait to laugh with you with all our lungs.

Love you and admire you infinitely, always!
Beautiful me <3

To the girl whose always given others love,
It’s time you put yourself above.

You’ve always had to care for others,
so this year, love yourself a little harder.

Love your laugh, your smile, & the way that you glow.
Love yourself enough to tell other people “no.”

You are brightness, you are love, you are more than you think.
You are creative, you are clever, you are the missing link.

You’ve cried for nights & been through hurt,
You’ve been through fights, your name dragged through dirt.

Love yourself enough to heal & be better.
Know that along the way you may ruffle some feathers.

Love yourself enough to always protect your mind,
Love yourself enough to remember to be kind.

Even when people aren’t very kind to you,
Do it cause you know it’s the right thing to do.

You’re empathetic, loving, and deserve all the wealth,
So this year, remember to live for yourself.

My aura is black.
Black because they tried to singe me with deeds,
Black like the sooty soil that nurtures her seeds.
Black because before they knew who I was,
When I was given no choice or even some gauze
Black like the bird that sings to be free
Black because my memories haunt me

Black like the sheep who’s breaking chains.
Black like the hole that’s swallowing pain.
Black like the smoke twirling up through the sky
Black like the panther and her silent battle cry
Black like the ash that softens the earth
Black because now she knows her worth

Black like THAT little dress, brilliant;
the one that makes every woman feel resilient.
Black like the lace of her wings
Black in the sky that midnight brings
Black like the velvet in her gentle coos
Black like silk skin that into she grew

So now instead of green, red, or indigo
My aura is black
Black like obsidian
Black like pearls
Black like geodes
Black because my shadows healed it so.

Dear Lauren Grace,

This love letter to you is in the form of a poem, because, as you know, I can’t find the right way to directly express myself. I love you.

Here we go:

I looked at them
My love has always flowed
In their direction, though
Cried painful streams of tears
But it never came my way
Overlooking my soul everyday

To him to her
To me?
Who’s that?
Who’s she?

I had never cared to see
What’s shining inside,
‘Til you finally caught my eye.
Sparkling, glimmering,
Amongst the stars in the sky.

I started thinking it’s love
I started thinking
You’re all I’ve ever dreamed of.
You’re the love you give out,
I apologize for years of doubt.

Then I fell,
Could’ve stayed down,
Saw no one was around,
I pushed myself off the ground.
Then suddenly, the sun was shining down
On me.
I saw me.

Now I cherish your pain, sweet girl.
Now I praise your name, sweet soul.

If I don’t love you,
Nothing else matters.
If I don’t love you,
Who else will?

What do I need from me?
It feels it has to come from someone else.
But now I’ve become somebody else,
And I’m seeing my truth.
My whole heart belongs to me.

All the need I love is within me.

I feel you breathe everyday.
I hear you talk away the pain.
I hear the thoughts that nearly,
Knock you down.
I see the dreams,
The nightmares,
The hopes,
things they’ll never see.
I can see you Lauren Grace.
And I love you wholeheartedly.

With Unconditional Love,

Lauren Grace

I stand aware of its immensity, the power to which we cling.
It moves thru us so differently, the” I” the “We.”
Love cleverly defines everything.
Am I to believe its virtue arrives with stipulation?
Only when I am not in good favor.
Only when the door tilts open and my conscience is clean.
Why not Now, as I stumble or stand curious, pausing so I can remain open to the larger story, the one that moves forward, the one that leaves no one behind; Not the “I” nor the “We.”
My “Only When” loses step, non-apologetically softens, lessening its grip and so too does the small gap in the light open to becoming Now.

Darling,

It’s been way too long. Where do I even start? I’ve been waiting for the right time to send this and realized I should have sent it when I saw you fighting your way through a storm. Please forgive me for taking so long to connect. I may have been silent but you have always been on my mind.

I am so sorry you were put in a position where your confidence was whittled away until you were left with only the shards remaining of your once fearless spirit. I’m amazed by your strength and resiliency though. Your determination to get back to that place where self-assurance radiates from deep within is impressive. I love that although your journey has been anything but easy, you are finding the beauty in uncovering the person that had slipped away. You are discovering new ways every day to mend your wounded soul. I promise to be there for you to steady you through all of the maelstroms and to show you how deserving you are of a life overflowing with love and joy.

Exquisite woman, take this moment in. You put yourself in a box with no openings for far too long. You thought you were lost forever. Buried so long, it seemed impossible that you would ever be uncovered. Years of torment that only you can describe. The seed was planted long ago but the clouds overshadowed when the verbal assaults aimed at you started to invade your thoughts as you tried to determine if the words rang true. The rain dried up when your body became a battlefield for the anger and intolerance. You weren’t given the opportunity to grow the way you deserved but you have shown your strength. The sky has opened and the sun is peeking through.

You have taken the shattered pieces of your soul and crafted them into a mosaic of learned lessons, new discoveries and recovered blessings. I hope you see all the incredible qualities that we do. Your gentle spirit, your kindness that has no limits as well as your ability to see the good in all. You have managed a career and a household and through it all you have kept your sense of humor. The care and nurturing you have shown your three wonderful sons has well-prepared them to go out and tackle the world. You are brave, strong and intelligent. You are beautiful inside and out. You are enough and have always been enough. Your uniqueness and your confidence in embracing it stands out. My heart smiles when I think of you! I hope you know how valuable and cherished you are. I want you to feel peace like you have never felt before. My wish for you is to emerge from the chaos feeling more courageous, happier and deserving of the greatest kind of love.

The next time you look at your reflection in the mirror and you are trying to determine what to prioritize next, I hope that you look at that gorgeous girl with the beautiful smile and say pick me and you do. Remember your worth. There is something inside you that is greater than any battle you encounter. Keep breathing new life into every day and shine on. Hold on to those dreams. Your wild imagination will help you take flight and soar to heights you thought impossible. I can’t wait to stand with you as you step into a marvelous future and a life filled with happiness.

Love Always,

The Girl Inside

P.S. Keep going, you are doing amazing!

I am love up above
Flying high in my kaleidoscope eye
I am selfish in leaving crumbs
Make you and I want more from just a touch
To be free I need me, yes baby all of me
Let your tears drop, firm and sent, but we cannot stop holding on to something thought long gone
Let it go and use your words, mind powerful, do not say that curse
Pull your veil back, the stars align because heaven is calling you ‘Oh Divine!’
Open your hands you sculpt the world of your dreams, continue on
I’ll guide the way, protect your light because we are so much better combined Beaming like the Sun and demure like the Moon
I am me… fierce, fresh and fun
No time like today, impatient in victory of us
Creation in every move we make, swirls of life just speak them into existence where others cannot
I am you in your boldest moment, all encompassing love pushed to places you thought not
For we are beauty, yes love I am
Timeless

I took a secret trip to Europe and didn’t tell anyone
I wanted to feel freedom and chase the sun
Didn’t want to think, I just wanted to BE
Too tired of hopping around waiting to be seen
I wanted what I wanted so much
, I wasn’t ready
So I left and waited for my green light, I had go and prepare
I found myself quiet in awe of ancient beauty
Got lost and found with history and foodies
Listening to waterfalls and people pass
Coming back to realize I was home at last

I took a secret trip to Europe and only told a few
This familiar space I recognized felt anew,
The past, a present, so present was I
A child like wonder I found in others now in I
Found triggers and the reason they were aflame
Understood my love why it ran away
Walked until my thoughts made sense of that day
Wasn’t till I was home that I found the courage for what I needed to say
I let someone else lead so I could be a tourist.
Found my imagination and what she was waiting for
To speak up, to be free, and to use her unapologetically

I took a secret trip to Europe and didn’t tell anyone
I fell in love, changed my hair, got lost, partied, slept off the day
Rescued myself and my sisters, was accused and accused others – we were all guilty parties
I Laughed, I walked 50 miles, had the best sandwich of my life, got found then lost again, handled business, prayed for my brother,
And found my peace,my calm, my fight, and my joy.

The beauty of travel is the freedom of self
To see me through your eyes help me redefine my self
and it’s worth, now I know I’m made of gold
I got to live, adventure, make mistakes and I realized I’m a sight to behold and tons of fun.
So I’m going to take another trip somewhere and not tell anyone

Her warm curls crash over my pillow
Like the morning tide,
There is wild even in the slit of her eyes,
She holds the sun in her chest
Beneath her breast is starlight and dreams
I love her,
Even when she is a hurricane storm
Hurling fists and misery
Her sands of time
Turns to sharp glass lining those eyes of rage
I love her so ever more
It’s those eyes
that keep me safe.