Whenever feelings overwhelm my breath,
I seek the strength of flannel’s stalwart plush
to drink up overflow that runs unchecked
down cheeks afire with life’s enduring flush,
reviving smoky tiparillo tang
as giant, blue-roped hands skim chestnut hair
to baritonal mumblings that hang
like sanctuary sigils in the air.

His everlasting warmth embraces me
with patience and a gentle iron will
as echos swirling on an astral breeze
until my inner turbulence is still–
for thirty years I’ve felt Dad’s quiet peace
upon this verdant cemetery hill.

In the warm embrace of my mother and hers before her…
I am swaddled in a sense of tranquility as I reflect on the embrace of my mother; the ancestors who nurtured me in the womb and guided me into this world. Their trust in my potential and the gift of life fills me with gratitude.

The sweet embrace of my children…
my little loves, they bring me profound peace. When I hold them close, one nestled under each arm, their tiny arms encircling my waist, the world seems to stand still. In those moments, the love that we share becomes the focal point of my existence, offering me comfort and peace.

In his sweet embrace…
Finding solace in the warm, loving embrace of my partner, I can be my true self. Curled up in his arms, my face pressed against his chest, I find a sense of peace that takes me elsewhere. Amidst the chaos of negative voices in my mind, he remains a calm and steady presence, offering unwavering support and love. His confidence in my strength and the reminder of how far I have come bring me a deep sense of peace and comfort.

I find peace … here, within mine…
Becoming at peace within myself is a journey I am beginning to embrace. As I wrap my arms around my shoulders and lean into my embrace, I take a moment to release the burdens of guilt, shame, and resentment that have held me back. Though I acknowledge that I am still a work in progress, I celebrate the strides I have made. While I may be petite in stature, I have grown in resilience and strength. With a gentle squeeze, I offer myself a gesture of self-compassion and allow a smile to grace my lips. I will continue to commit to nurturing myself, always exploring new paths for personal growth, knowing that I am worthy of my care and attention. “I love you, I tell all of my past selves”
As I continue on this journey, I see myself becoming a source of peace and comfort for my children, a mother they can turn to in times of need and find solace with, just as I have found within myself.

Envision this.
An expectant mother around family and friends
On her birthday
Four days later a baby comes
But water breaks at the cinema.

Fluffy popcorn and chocolate delicacies
A huge screen with all your favorite actors
Expectation at a sequel or just wonder of what will become of your favorite actors.

Will my dreams of meeting my biggest inspirations come true
Well in my utopia I find peace at the cinema.

Horror, Romance, Action, and Etc
I’m eclectic
Two hours of leaving my own reality
Two hours to clear my head

Mane if it wasn’t for the cinemas
I wouldn’t be able to laugh or take life’s twist and turns
But yeah that’s my peace
My joy; the cinema

My mind can be clouded with chaos.
You speak to me or you smile.
My mind clears.
In your presence is my safe place.
I no longer worry about the stress of life.
Just for a moment.
A split second of clarity.
You arise my spirit.
Your touch and embrace light a fire deep within my soul.
You are my peace the only place my heart and mind are safe.
My everything and more.
My forever peace.

I feel most at peace in the middle of chaos, so long as I am not confined by rules and regulations I can solve a jigsaw in a hurricane. There are independent components I can orchestrate, and align their parallels. As most focus on what is, my mind travels back to me from the future showing me a potential that can be. Too many leaves fall waiting to see what serendipity can do for me. There is suffering that only occurs when my mind is still, conditioned to be positioned in a routine, cause stimulations disappears when there is nothing to be curious about. I want to see why people are passionate about particular things. Through writing I’ve stopped to smell the roses and discovered a garden, and found grass people don’t feel too often, they makes me want to plant seeds just to see what blossoms. As we age we take on more responsibilities, I’ve always made sure the most important one was not diluted. the one that makes me feel whole, purpose, passion, and the soul, self. It feels like home when I highlight those parallels, explain it in a way that helps us persevere in my Uncle Sam’s Hell. My peace comes from purpose

As I sit here with thousands of grains of sand in between my toes
The world fades away, the noise dies down and suddenly I feel the release of all of my woes.

The sound of the waves plays like a symphony of a familiar song
Inside I am dancing, running and laughing and living as nothing could go wrong.

With the sun kissing my skin I begin to feel one with the ocean breeze
And all of the sudden all of my stress is put at instant ease.

Oh dear ocean, your distance and depth and power are never filled with judgement
In fact, your acceptance, embrace and freedom are heaven sent.

As I walk along the shoreline with the water dancing back and forth
I have never felt such at peace even walking in a violent force.

In my mind I write a message and put it in a bottle to be swept away at sea
It’s as if I have given something away and somehow that’s healed me.

I use to think that Driftwood, seashells, shark teeth and more are treasures to be found
What I didn’t realize is the healing that’s taking place is what really makes my heart pound.

As I lay on the body of ray soaked sand and take in the vision of the pier
I begin to feel peace and suddenly release all of the fear.

Here I am, finally at total peace of mind
It’s as if the ocean taught me how to look back at myself and how to be kind.

The beach is my favorite place
I walk to the farthest end
You know, where all the jagged rocks meet
All pointy and eroding from the storms the sky sends
I climb those rocks until I find the perfect bench
I sit down to look at my view

My grandmother’s favorite beach is called Coco Beach
It’s in Florida, her favorite state

I imagine there’s coconuts everywhere
You have to keep your head held high so you can keep watch

WAIT

That same line can be used for life

Anyways
My Lela and I sit on those rocks together
We watch the sunset
It goes from pretty blues and whites to a beautiful cotton candy sunset
The wind is the perfect temperature, the perfect strength

We take deep breaths together
So deep we taste the salt from the ocean

We name things we see in the stars
I update her on every detail of my life since she left
We laugh
We cry
We curse
We yell at the sky

I tell her my new memories, the ones she knew I didn’t remember
I tell her my new perspectives of the world, of my life
I show her all my wounds in my back from everyone who swore to me they loved me

She gives me a massage
I feel the familiar feel of her gentle hands
I feel all the love through them
My eyes tear because I missed that feeling so much

The sky is turning orange now, light slowly rising up
The winds start picking up
Lela grabs my face so firmly but still so gentle
She squeezes and says to me, into me

“I am so beyond proud of you. Your wounds are nothing but warrior scars now. Symbols of battles you won. Reminders of all you can withstand. Now go fight some more, you may fall or slip, but you have proven to always to get back up.”

After the warmest, tightest hug she disappears into the big rush of wind
7 seconds I stand there
Embracing the last bits of her presence

Now I’m awake, my eyes crusty from tears
But my heart is so full and warm with hope and love for life
So heavy
But also so so full
And my soul is at peace

POV
I’ve changed the residence of my boundaries and the number to my standards
I’ve moved
I no longer live at that place where you last saw me.
the place where I allowed you undeservedly and unapologetically cross my threshold of boundaries
time after time
I’m done
I no longer have access to that Voice mail box
that is full of broken promises and over t as stepped boundaries

I no longer have that number
That number which i gave sun freely and without consideration for preservation of other peoples feelings

The number that too many people had unaccompanied access to, dialing it when convenient for them
Calling late in the night at ungodly hours

The number you have dialed is no longer available,

I’ve switched carriers.
This new number I hold tight I don’t comprise with my standards and barriers .

If you’re trying to reach me . … Good luck!!!
I’m no longer at that place ..
I’m – no longer in that space

I no longer accept apologies without out change — it’s Manipulation
I no longer entertain situations .. that don’t benefit me .

If you’re looking for me, good luck,
the person that you used to have access to
Is gone. I’ve grown, I’ve learned how to live
I thrive in a healthy and happy zone.

I No longer live in chaos
I’m No longer claiming bare minimum and manipulation as my physical address

I’ve changed the residence of my boundaries and the number to my standards

I’ve moved on from my rundown ghetto neighborhood That I took shelter in since I was a child.
built from broken promises and infiltrated with broken boundaries, validation, and manipulation.

In it, I was neighbors with rejection, low self esteem and acceptance . They had no regard for my space.They never knocked on the door of my place ;before flooding in my house without warning or regret.

Unwelcome visiting when least expected and staying longer than accepted . Me conditioned to confusion;I allowed it.
I allowed my neighbors of trauma to run loose in my house.

leaving trails of their mess behind for me to clean up, shattering things that belonged to me without plans to reimburse my property.cornered in my own castle I sat quietly ignoring my boundaries

But
I’ve moved on .
Im living comfortably in my mansion on a hill.
I’ve learned what I willing to deal – with .

So if you looking for me good luck
I’ve taken up residence in this gated community .Im living good . I’m served and protected by my boundaries

They don’t grant unverified access to me they stop unwarranted
interruption of my peace

They stand on what they say
My boundaries .. they stay strapped like top flight security

They stand on guard ready to lay down their life to protect my mental
They don’t accept the bare minimum

They require my access code formulated of actions and not empty promises , change not manipulation, standards and not un communicated expectations , accountability not excuses .

POV
I’ve changed the residence of my boundaries and the number to my standards

I no longer live at that place where you last saw me.

So if you’re looking for me good luck .

Peace is just a state of mind
Not a trail, place, or person ahead or behind
Deep in its private place
Where the heart has left a trace
No fear, worry, pain can intrude
Any interference would be rude
It is there I rest my soul
A place my life is whole
Gratitude rises to the top
Love pours, it will not stop.
Acceptance of what has gone
And what is to come
How I wish we could visit more often!

Laying in bed uninterrupted is pure bliss for me
That new song that I love playing on repeat
Taking long walks, getting lost in the trees
Going to Greece and seeing the sea
Floating in the water so salty I can’t swim underneath
Knowing my Dad is still with me
Sending hugs from heaven in butterfly wings
Seeing synchronicities
2:22 on the clock brings a sigh of relief
I feel safe knowing I’m divinely protected
There’s angels above that I take each step with
When I finally get time for myself
Pull a book off the shelf
Get out my sketch book and oil pastels
When I lay in the sun and let myself melt
That’s when I’m at peace
That is my tranquility