Dear Droyer,

Wow. You have been on a RIDE. How you doing, kid? You hydrating? You should be. How’s the brain? Still beautiful but frustrating as all hell? Never works the way other people think it should? Good. That means it’s yours, and yours alone. And it’s good that other people don’t get it; you can’t expect random idiots gawking on the street to understand Spiderman as he swings through Manhattan on a web line.

We could spend this time going over all the crap you’ve lived through: the hell of being raised by a narcissistic, abusive mother, being beaten and repeatedly assaulted by your sister. We could go over the abusive boyfriends you’ve survived or the friends that used you. We could discuss at length, the trauma that led you to cut off your family of origin for good, and cast yourself adrift in the waters of uncertainty.

But let’s not, okay? Rearview mirror. Looking back is great and all, to inform your journey forward, but too much looking back and you wrap yourself around a tree, and while I love a good tree-hugging every now and again… maaaaaybe we keep our eyes on the road, huh?

Anyway, let’s talk about the silver lining. All that crap? All that pain? There was meaning in it. There was light in it. There was love in it. If you hadn’t been hurt by those cruel, awful people, you wouldn’t have moved to Washington, and you wouldn’t have met the love of your life. Your hubby, by the way, is just as weird, just as quirky, just as hilarious as you are, and best of all? He loves you exactly for who you are, would never change you, and always has your back. Great job! Not exactly sure how you pulled that one off, but… lucky you!

Had you not moved to Washington, you wouldn’t have met your best friend, whose wife you ADORE and whose kids you spoil ROTTEN. Your niece and nephew absolutely think the world of you–granted, they’re babies so they have no basis for comparison, but still! They’re good people and they love the heck outta you.

If you hadn’t gone through the pain of letting your bio family drop away, the loneliness and the isolation of being disconnected from them, you wouldn’t have thrown yourself fully into your CHOSEN family. You wouldn’t have healed! You wouldn’t have grown! You’d still be sad, and that’s not a good look on you.

Your writing would still be sad, depressed and dark, too–and we’ll leave the dark gritty writing to M. Night Shyamalan; he can have the twist endings too, I’m kinda over them, to be honest.

You’ve written an audio series, about a female horror villain trying to take her place amongst a bunch of misogynistic male horror villains, and everyone who’s ever heard it laughs so hard they pee a little. A critical analysis might reveal that when writing these misogynistic creeps, you were simply writing your own bio family, and who doesn’t love laughing at the people who’ve hurt you? Nicely done!

Humor means you’re healing, and that definitely looks good on you.

I love you, Droyer. It’s taken me a long time to be able to say that to you, because for a long time, I hated you–myself. But I love you, and I think you’re great. I want only the best for you, and I want you to thrive. This moment in your life, this place in your life, while imperfect, is miles beyond all the pain you’ve endured.

Your soul is light as a feather, your heart is full of laughter, your mind is clear.

You really are a superhero, and you will continue to soar.

Don’t worry about making me proud, Droyer.

I already am, and I always will be.