She is gone.
You stand there gazing at her body,
Waiting for her to stand up, to reach out, and to call your name.
Thoughts of fear and loneliness circle in your mind,
and you whisper, “Nothing, will be the same”.
You are right.
The mother who held you when you skinned your knees,
Who sang all the time and filled a room with joy.
The one that laughed at your jokes, scolded you more than she should have had to,
And listened as you told her about your crush on a boy.
Yes, she is gone.
But do not fear little Destiny.
She gave you thirteen years of love and lessons.
Do not be afraid to spread your wings and be the person she taught you to be.
For I know that though nothing is the same, everything will be ok.
You will fall in love, and then out of love many times.
You will run from everything, only to find yourself return.
You will fail.
Over, and over again, you will fail.
But again, I say, do not be afraid my dear Destiny,
For you and I are one and the same.
We have loved and been loved in return.
We sing all the time and fill rooms with joy.
We have held our babies, through pain and tears.
We have loved and we have lost.
And through it all, we have prevailed.
Strong, independent, joyful, and loved.
We are who she taught us to be.
She is gone.
But she remains.
In your heart, as you love so deeply.
In you smile, as you laugh and joke.
In your song, as tunes float from your lips.
And in the woman that you will grow to become.
Stand tall, little one,
Believe in yourself,
And remember
She is not really gone.

Be bold, be fierce.
Never go to sleep mad.
Remember to be seventeen.
 
Your words can cut, they can piece.
Try not to be so sad.
Be bold, be fierce.
 
Be loud, enjoy these years.
You won’t remember all the laughs you had.
Remember to be seventeen.
 
Don’t waste time crying, dry those tears.
Go out, be glad.
Be bold, be fierce.
 
Close your eyes, open your ears.
Spend more time with mom and dad.
Remember to be seventeen.
 
Raise your glass, cheers.
Keep your heart ironclad.
Be bold, be fierce.
Remember to be seventeen.

Beautiful girl, you are not behind. You are not wasting time. You are not in the way.
You are living. You are learning. You are strengthening your heart.
Your dreams are perfect for you. Chasing money is for others. It’s not your passion and you don’t need it to be. You have always had enough and just having that understanding makes you richer than many.
Your love for others is not too much. You are practicing for the people who deserve it. Without those who cross you, you might have made mistakes on the good ones.
Your loyalty to love is not getting in the way of a career. Your best job ever will come hand in hand with the life you’ve always wanted.
Be patient. Momma at heart. You will wait for your babies and the ache will throb for some time. You will see how lucky you were to wait. You have such a smart uterus.
You are your own universe. No others’ rules apply to you so let people preach and and move the way you want anyway.
You were made just the way you needed to be and you were made well.

Hi Linda
OK first things first…it is ok that you don’t feel like you fit in anywhere. You do not have to get married and have a family. Having a career and not getting married or having children is fine. I know you get mad whenever anyone says it, but it will be all right in the long term. You will have had one successful career and be in the middle of a second successful career by your fifties.

It is all right, though you don’t believe me now, to be wired differently from other “girls” You will find your way and end up with many similarly minded friends who you have a good time with. Also, not everything is your fault, even if you did know, and might have stopped it, the other people involved in the activity SHARE the responsibility. You CAN NOT control the people around you or their choices, but you CAN control how you respond and if you continue to associate with them.

I am not going to lie you will make a TON of mistakes but it’s ok, remember to learn the lesson instead of beating yourself for a mistake.

Lastly, I want you to know that even if you aren’t “pretty enough” or “smart enough” or “good enough” you are in fact enough. You are by no stretch of the imagination much like your siblings and it will be fine. All of you will grow up and become closer as you each learn about what the other is good at and excels at doing.

It will be bumpy, but you can get through it and I will be ahead of you to show you how.

Dear Ronald,

Hey, what’s good, young man? Sitting with your back against a cold wall in the courtyard. You’re lonely, yes… I know your feelings are low. Friends? Little lady? Ah, no! I know the only thing colder than that wall is the one you put up in front of yourself. Right now, loneliness is the result of the burden that has you in a chokehold. Yes, your shyness, verbal and emotional suffocation are the main things that prevent you from communicating, hell, even relating to the world outside your wall. What you see as fear, young man, I bring a message to say that your silence is your biggest strength. You see, while you’re silent, your discernment reigns supreme. Your discernment comes from above because your guidance comes from within. To your fellow adolescents, what’s popular is to blend, adopting fakeness to fit in, but everyone becomes the same when you crucify your true self for the sake of fame.

Here is the revised version of your text with some corrections:

Your mystery is intriguing; it stands out. Your thoughts are real, and your morals are pure because you didn’t forsake them; you remained yourself. You will begin to attract many, but your discernment is supreme. Everyone is offered your kindness, but not everyone is invited into your life. So, trust me when I say that the people who make it across that wall are there because your guide saw it fit; they had a place. Yes, you are lonely, but it is only to prepare you to fully appreciate the faithful people who will truly remain. I know this is hard to obtain, but trust me, the strongest people are those who endure. This will allow you to truly appreciate the people and opportunities that make it through.

So, young man, all I ask is that you continue to be yourself, endure, because it’s all working towards something pure. You are wise among your peers because your discernment reigns supreme. The opportunities and people who make it through; you won’t even have to worry because they hold the same qualities, morals, and values that you do. (taps wall) I love this wall that you have; I love your silence. Your discernment will truly allow you to open up. While you will always express love to everyone, what I love most is that the most intimate and solid aspects are for the people and things that make it through.

Sincerely,
A testament to who you are right now

Don’t worry little one, this will all be forgiven and forgotten I know you’re going through a lot right now and I pray that you make it through this with open eyes And a keen sense. You are on your own now
nothing more, nothing less. My information is true
and I know what you’re going to do. I know because I’m you. Don’t listen to any negativity from any one and always be yourself! I know it’s rough but it’ll get better I hope you find solace in this letter.

Dear Younger Me,
Why did we worry so much? We were always told not to worry about things we can’t control and yet, we did. Is it because worrying gives a sense of control? Maybe it helps us feel better if we try and figure out why we are worrying about something? Does worrying calm our mind like stimming does for someone on the autism spectrum? Mamaw always told us “you’ll get wrinkles in your forehead if you keep worrying!” and although we have a baby face, she was right. There is no use in worrying over things we can’t control. So, take a deep breath, sit back, listen to some music and just let go.

I see you. I see you wondering if you will ever get to where you want to be. I see you wondering if you will ever make it. I see you wondering if all this hard work will pay off. I see you wondering if your tears will dry up. I see you! Look up, sweet girl. God is in this with you, for you. Look up. A flower can never bloom without the rain. We all need a little rain. I see you. I see that you are strong. I see you are determined. I see you are going to make it. I see you are amazing. I see you doubting. I see you regretting. I see you wishing. I see you scared. I am you! Older! Smarter. Grateful! All of the trials, all of the detours, put us exactly where we should be. Now look at us. I got to see you. Now see me.

Dear Young Man,
I know that you’re facing the end of your world and I know that you’re facing the end of your life, and the end of your innocence too. I know that you’re facing backward because you can’t seem to look forward. I know that your heart is as broken as your family feels and I feel for how you’re feeling because I know you’ve seen a million centuries in your decade of life. I want you to know that everything is okay I want you to know that even though your life has been taken it is not the end of your life. You have to recognize the strengths that your hardships give you for you to sail through life. You’re hurting and you’re angry and I know you’re overwhelmed. Your mind is lost and your pride is gone and I know it’s hard to deal with. However, I see you in hindsight and know you’ll find your way. I see you in hindsight and I know you’ll soar someday. Because child, when I see you, looking back, I see somebody who didn’t deserve what he was feeling.
I look back and I see a boy fighting to be a man. I look back and I see a sheep in wolf’s clothing. I know you’re not what you want to be right now and you should know that God is to thank for that. You want to be seen as less than a loving soul because you feel you don’t deserve the title of a loving soul. You believe you deserve the title of a nobody with your entire heart. You think that you can’t be loved because you’re disgusting and angry. You feel you can’t be loved because there’s nothing to love. You hate yourself more than any enemy you could’ve made in your wake of youthful rage. You’re your own biggest critic. You critique yourself when you see yourself in others. You critique yourself when you stare in a mirror. You even critique yourself on things that need no critiquing because you feel you’re not worth it.
I want you to know that you are worth it, little boy. You have accolades you can’t even fathom right now, young man. You’re bigger than you feel and better than you’re made to believe. You are more than nothing even if you think you come from nothing, child.
I want you to know that the love for yourself that you’re desperately searching for will come. I want you to know that even though you may feel alone, your mind will never fail you. I want you to know I will never let you down or let up on what I’m working for.
I work for you and you alone now, boy. I work for you because I know how afraid you were to work for yourself. I remember how convinced you were that you were everything that the people around you told you you were; A worthless, hideous, nobody who will never be anything. I’m working to make sure you prove yourself wrong, I’m working to make sure you prove them wrong, and I’m working to make sure you believe you shouldn’t ever not believe in yourself.
I love and believe in you, no matter what the cause. I’m your number one supporter and look up to whatever you do.
Love,
Yourself.

I know you stress,
Because I put you to the test.
I know you’re scared of the unknown,
But I’m here and I’m grown.
You’ll hurt yourself along the way,
But you’ll live to see a sober day.
Almost 33 now,
I know…we’re both asking how???
The pain is strong,
But come along!!!
You’re clinging to music,
That’s good. We’re going to use it!!!
Those artists will know your name,
I’m still working hard and we haven’t hit Fame.
Not yet, at least,
keep going. It’s no doubt you’re a beast.
Some call you Savage
you desire a life of lavish.
You’re not wrong… The mission is bigger than you think.
But come along and I’ll take you where we belong.
You’ll cry and ocean’s worth of tears,
I mean literally for years…
But don’t ever forget that song
We’ll take every shot you got
I don’t know it all,
but your phone they will call.
I’m trying to close some deals,
prepare us some meals.
To be eat like a queen
by your idols you will be seen.
We’re making a difference
Stay positive in your Deliverance
It’s time for me to go
I can’t wait to watch you grow
I love you the most
That I need you to know…
Breathe deep
Cuz your future I keep!!!

Lexileggo

Dear 13,
First and foremost I want to say I love you. I’m so proud of you. Why? Because you stayed positive during all the circumstances that came your way so far. Instead of letting yourself go we actually built a relationship together and one with God. I know we’ve been through a lot already but I feel like it was all a part of God’s plan. Let me break it down for you so you can remember not to worry throughout the years.
For example we’ve experienced losing a loved one at a young age. We lost our dad around 6 or 7 years old. Not knowing having a deceased father would make life a little more complicated; you handled that as best as you could, quiet and observant. Death taught us no one lives forever; it’s the only thing promised to us. We live with the memories because that’s what we have left to cherish, like the Six Flags trip he took us on. This was the first lesson that taught us how to be strong and appreciate pop-pop who helped raise us. Thank you for staying strong during that time because it helped shape how we deal with death now.
I’m sorry to you 13. I’m sorry you didn’t know what the word “no” meant, I’m sorry your peers sexualized you and I’m sorry you had to have a curious mind at such a young age. I’m sorry for not knowing I had to protect you. I’m here today to tell you not to worry about the “touchy feely” things that happened to you a couple years ago because it’s not your fault, give yourself some grace. You were too young to understand what was going on. We were all kids. If you ask me it’s no one’s fault; it was the spirit of evil. The demons that lived in the house aunty was talking about. She believed the house we lived in was haunted and that’s why we were ALL lost in spirit, especially the children. We weren’t even 9 yet and we were mini adults. With all you went through so far I’m proud of you for remaining your authentic self and not turning into something you aren’t.
I know it happened so suddenly when we had to move out of the house and live in shelters and then foster care but this situation made everyone grow. We had to get out of the house we were in so we could be better people. God had to save us all; the whole household. It was a blessing for our family. We were in the 5th grade when we had to be separated from mommy and the rest of the family. You couldn’t even live with your siblings at first and I know that was hard. But I’m proud of you for the way you handled being on your own at 10 years old. Instead of being mad and angry or even scared you just prayed and started a one on one relationship with God. Your prayers are always being answered because of it . Thank you for listening to grandma about finding God because I feel like you would’ve been stuck somewhere if you didn’t, but you did and I’m happy for you. Because of the traumatic experiences that you endured alone I created a business catered to children and young adults just like you. Teaching them to address and work through their past and current traumas through writing. This journey that you’re on is destined.

You see why I say I’m proud of you? The things that happened to you at such a young age were supposed to define you and you were supposed to be stuck or lost; but you fought hard and didn’t even know it. It’s because you have a spirit that doesn’t allow you to be stagnant. You have to continue to follow your spirit, because God is leading the way. We are bigger and better than our situations.
As the years go on don’t worry because God placed incredible people in your life to help you on your journey. God will always guide your path. Just continue to follow the signs and your intuition. You’re going to be just fine, trust me. I love you.
Forever Loving You,
31
P.S. Remember walking with God and choosing to stay close to him isn’t a walk in the park but the joy and the peace you have coming will make it all worth it.

Dear Younger Self,

Had I written to you sooner, I would have warned you of all the trials you would soon endure. I would have warned you to change everything about yourself because that will be expected of you regardless. I would have told you of the heartbreak and the harmful words that would fill your brain and make sleep an impossible need.
Just like you, however, I am growing.
Though we have many years between us, you and I are the same. One soul, two timelines, both longing for the same thing: love, in its purest and most beautiful form. A love without definition, one that’s ever-changing yet constant at the same time. One that is without a doubt patient, kind, and gentle.
It seems so simple to your young brain, to love someone completely and fully in that way. How could anyone ever deprive you of such a wonderful thing?
One thing you will learn is that love is much more than just a thought or a feeling—it is complicated, messy, and chaotic. It is staying up until ungodly hours of the morning talking about your dreams and aspirations, but it is also wailing in the shower under the burning sear of the hot water because, god, how could they do this to us?
You will meet a man who leaves bruises and scars each time he touches your skin, yet shouts at the top of his lungs that he loves you.
You will meet a woman who saves you from a darkness that never should have gone so deep and reminds you of who you have always been meant to become.
You will love them both, and they will show you two entirely different versions of what love is supposed to look like. You will question everyone’s intentions with your fragile heart.
One day, however, you will begin to love yourself, which is the most important lesson you will ever learn in life, but it will also remain the hardest choice you will ever have to make daily.
You will blossom into who you are meant to become, find little things you love in this world, and your smile will return to you as if it had never left in the first place.
Today, the soul we share is happy, even after all we’ve experienced in this life. Don’t give up, kid, because you’ll find it—the spark that will set your heart ablaze. You just have to keep going.
Sincerely,
You.

The beach is my favorite place
I walk to the farthest end
You know, where all the jagged rocks meet
All pointy and eroding from the storms the sky sends
I climb those rocks until I find the perfect bench
I sit down to look at my view

My grandmother’s favorite beach is called Coco Beach
It’s in Florida, her favorite state

I imagine there’s coconuts everywhere
You have to keep your head held high so you can keep watch

WAIT

That same line can be used for life

Anyways
My Lela and I sit on those rocks together
We watch the sunset
It goes from pretty blues and whites to a beautiful cotton candy sunset
The wind is the perfect temperature, the perfect strength

We take deep breaths together
So deep we taste the salt from the ocean

We name things we see in the stars
I update her on every detail of my life since she left
We laugh
We cry
We curse
We yell at the sky

I tell her my new memories, the ones she knew I didn’t remember
I tell her my new perspectives of the world, of my life
I show her all my wounds in my back from everyone who swore to me they loved me

She gives me a massage
I feel the familiar feel of her gentle hands
I feel all the love through them
My eyes tear because I missed that feeling so much

The sky is turning orange now, light slowly rising up
The winds start picking up
Lela grabs my face so firmly but still so gentle
She squeezes and says to me, into me

“I am so beyond proud of you. Your wounds are nothing but warrior scars now. Symbols of battles you won. Reminders of all you can withstand. Now go fight some more, you may fall or slip, but you have proven to always to get back up.”

After the warmest, tightest hug she disappears into the big rush of wind
7 seconds I stand there
Embracing the last bits of her presence

Now I’m awake, my eyes crusty from tears
But my heart is so full and warm with hope and love for life
So heavy
But also so so full
And my soul is at peace

POV
I’ve changed the residence of my boundaries and the number to my standards
I’ve moved
I no longer live at that place where you last saw me.
the place where I allowed you undeservedly and unapologetically cross my threshold of boundaries
time after time
I’m done
I no longer have access to that Voice mail box
that is full of broken promises and over t as stepped boundaries

I no longer have that number
That number which i gave sun freely and without consideration for preservation of other peoples feelings

The number that too many people had unaccompanied access to, dialing it when convenient for them
Calling late in the night at ungodly hours

The number you have dialed is no longer available,

I’ve switched carriers.
This new number I hold tight I don’t comprise with my standards and barriers .

If you’re trying to reach me . … Good luck!!!
I’m no longer at that place ..
I’m – no longer in that space

I no longer accept apologies without out change — it’s Manipulation
I no longer entertain situations .. that don’t benefit me .

If you’re looking for me, good luck,
the person that you used to have access to
Is gone. I’ve grown, I’ve learned how to live
I thrive in a healthy and happy zone.

I No longer live in chaos
I’m No longer claiming bare minimum and manipulation as my physical address

I’ve changed the residence of my boundaries and the number to my standards

I’ve moved on from my rundown ghetto neighborhood That I took shelter in since I was a child.
built from broken promises and infiltrated with broken boundaries, validation, and manipulation.

In it, I was neighbors with rejection, low self esteem and acceptance . They had no regard for my space.They never knocked on the door of my place ;before flooding in my house without warning or regret.

Unwelcome visiting when least expected and staying longer than accepted . Me conditioned to confusion;I allowed it.
I allowed my neighbors of trauma to run loose in my house.

leaving trails of their mess behind for me to clean up, shattering things that belonged to me without plans to reimburse my property.cornered in my own castle I sat quietly ignoring my boundaries

But
I’ve moved on .
Im living comfortably in my mansion on a hill.
I’ve learned what I willing to deal – with .

So if you looking for me good luck
I’ve taken up residence in this gated community .Im living good . I’m served and protected by my boundaries

They don’t grant unverified access to me they stop unwarranted
interruption of my peace

They stand on what they say
My boundaries .. they stay strapped like top flight security

They stand on guard ready to lay down their life to protect my mental
They don’t accept the bare minimum

They require my access code formulated of actions and not empty promises , change not manipulation, standards and not un communicated expectations , accountability not excuses .

POV
I’ve changed the residence of my boundaries and the number to my standards

I no longer live at that place where you last saw me.

So if you’re looking for me good luck .

Dear younger me,
We are still here.
Through the crazy moments , laughs and tears.

I’m so proud of you for working on your self year after year .
It wasn’t easy to stay in your lane;
especially, as you sat back in tears
While watching everyone else adjusting their gears

They moved flawlessly ,.able to Maneuver onto the express way.
You- wishfully watching as they shoot past you like a shorting star.
Frozen but wishing and “God, i wish I could just be where they are. “
“But I’m driving a hand me down car ..
with – hand me down scars”

With dreams and aspirations as grand as the stars,
but as scattered and oblique as they are
they lay

Huge hope with little wisdom
Trying to follow pre meditated foot steps,
but somewhere along the way you got lost.
Seeing your friends and classmates leave you in the dust of their exhaust.

Exhausted!
Exhausted because you’re crippled from the feeling as if you would never get that far.
Never quite meeting the bar – of your parents expectations

Searching every map for your final destination
but, no landmark ever felt like home.

Trying to figure out ,HOW the hell does these roads work? when you had no one to trail behind
But if you would’ve known then what you know now ,things might’ve been easier
but we are here now .

You push past the doubt and adjusted your crown.
Learned that you are your own trail blazer
And how to spark your own light.
You learn how to jump over the hurdles,
even if it took you a couple of times to get the jumps just right.

Learning
Learning to leave every non beneficial thing behind.
Focused on your self.
Other things , Out of sight out of mind.

No longer holding on to baggage that’s not assigned to you.
You’re moving on, straight ahead.
Not accepting the doubt in your head or what other people have said.
Because you know;
You know, the windshield in front of you gives you a better view than the window that trails behind you.

Dear younger me
I’m sorry
Im Sorry I wasn’t patient with you.
Sorry for trying to harvest your potential before it’s reaping season
I was so desperate to find out your purpose of your reason.

Planting seeds in the ground without tilling your soil.
Allowing room for weeds and infestations to stunt your growth.
Never replenishing what I dug out .

Pushing you past your breaking point;
But blaming you for not holding it together.
But you held it!
Strong as a camel;
But only until that last feather.

I’m sorry for pushing you when you said you were exhausted and tired;
because I was chasing future me desires.

I broke you down with no plan on how to build it back up .
Because of that
We spent years being stuck .

But some where along the way we got tired of being tired.
Tired of lacking fulfillment but full of desires.

No action to complete our faith,
but tired of looking failure in the face.

Something had to change!

Somehow,
we push past the doubt and adjusted our crown.
So resilient, our presence is heard without us making a sound.
That pain we suffered has no compare to that joy that we feel now.

This ain’t the end of our story but just the climax.
Now we waiting to see what generational curse we aiming at to break next.

Ps. Dear younger me Thank you .

dear little girl;
i know you’re feeling excited to have entered this world
every sight you see is a pleasure to behold
every face you meet; you never knew a stranger
you have always found patience while standing in the face of danger

i wanna tell you, girl;
i dont know if things will get easier
i know that you will find many things that you think please you
but you’ll know better now
when you meet that same face of danger
only as you get older now
the face is no longer a stranger

the best news now is that your own worst enemy is you
and yourself was sent here to protect everything that you will do
i know it will get harder now, but what’s true will always be true
now that you know yourself, the world will feel free to open up around you

hey, little girl;
you are not meant to have an easy introduction to this world
you will meet much pain inside and the change around you will make
everything you knew into a total frenzy; swirled

dear little girl;
you don’t need to worry now because you’ve got you with me
as i am older now, i can easily spot the danger
and i know now that i never really even knew a stranger
don’t worry now because i have become everything that will change us

hey, little girl
when i look at you, you amaze us

Little darling, what’s the worry
I know life has left you hurting
I wish you could see who you’re becoming
Wish I could put a stop to all this crying
Because through it all, you have become
A beautiful soul so full of love
And sure, they won’t know how to handle you
They won’t understand all you’ve been through
But you’ll learn you don’t need them to
You’ll show up for yourself instead
Girlie, don’t fret your head
Don’t waste time wondering
What life would’ve been like instead
In the future, you have nothing to fear
The wounds they made all seem to heal
You still have your innocence, you’re still whole
It just looks different with such an old soul
Just hold out, stay strong for me
There’s a world of magic for you to see
Buried beneath the worry and pain
Baby girl, you WILL find happiness again