Woke up in a daze not feeling like I wanted to go to work. I attempted to call out. Talked to my boss it was a definite NO, I need you come in… Uhg so I did. feeling bad about leaving my boss hangin I strolled in to work every thing was fine just as it should be. I set up and took my first client.second, third and so on and so forth, I noticed a boy and his mother walk in and sit down. The mother was called by the stylist the sat up front probably about 11 or 12 I would say… All of the sudden out of the corner of my eye I see him grabbing his throat and trying to cough. Without even a thought or a memory of how I got from.here to there it was like an outer body experience watching from above myself in motion attending and defending this little boys will to live. It was crazy, each thrust I felt his body get tighter it seemed like forever I was giving the heimlich maneuver. I’ll tell ya… it wasn’t “I hope” this thing. Comes out it was “going to” come out…. And it did the boy with a blue hue had a natural color to him again.
thank you to who ever what ever that was that came over me the boy started to cough just as the EMTs arrived I stepped a way. They were all clapping, my boss was crying and shaking as was I. My boss pulled me out back to talk she was like how, why if you took the day off…. I just glad you were here today.
The mother of the boy however was beyond her self gave me a hug asked how could she ever repay me for saving the boy I said to her… Him being
alive and breathing is payment enough.
This is my memorable moment….

Chasing, pacing, racing
Only in my dreams
I want so bad to see them come true
But I haven’t come to terms with seeing it thru my desires and wants take second stage
To the battle that is everyday
Someday I hope I can make them happen
Glory day, I hope and pray for my time to come
Though It lasts just a second
And then it ends…
it’s already written

Steady as I go
Inspiration pouring out my soul
Mind and body collide
Heart and soul coincide
Fact and fiction divide
Making you feel alive
Sometimes I get real
I kneel and pray to a god not yet saved
Steal and pay for the next day
You’ll find a way
Just stay, don’t run
It could way a ton
My thoughts exactly
Don’t beg just ask me
I’ll stay till the light burns out
Be quiet and listen to your first decision
Be quiet and run for the day is done
Another quest tomorrow will avenge sorrow

Dear Unsealers,

I often fall into bouts of deep melancholy and sadness when I think about my life prior to coming out. I’ve learned that expressing my feelings immediately through poetry prevents me from sliding into a longer state of depression. I write, I cry, and I liberate the feelings from my mind. This has helped me so much over the last two years, it has literally saved my life.

Yesterday it happened again, and here is the result of my catharsis as I thought about my partner and all he has brought into my life. Thank you.

DEEP WATERS

You pulled me out of sadness

Like a fish caught on a hook

Loving me is all it took

Though the struggle was madness

Without will, without purpose

Your strength was a taut lifeline

As I drowned in my tears’ brine

And was pulled to the surface

Now I sit on our live’s pier

Letting sunlight dry my skin

And with your love, then begin

To breathe again warm summer air

A kiss is the way that hearts can connect

Through lips that are tender, soft, and knowing

The feeling of love is warm, gentle, and glowing

When loving lips meet, the hearts feel the effect

❤️

Hold the embrace and never let go

Time stops for the kiss so hearts can then speak

They whisper sweet words that are caring and meek

Their language is subtle and spoken just so

❤️❤️

What they say is a secret transmitted in code

They plan for the future and forgetting the past

Hearts speak of a mystery that will linger and last

The lips move that message in a soft, silent mode

❤️❤️❤️

When the spoken “I love you” is not quite sufficient

It’s time for the hearts to speak once again

And send their sweet poems through pathways that bend

Back through our lips in a way so efficient

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Should Sadness visit unannounced

And you wonder “why?”

Greet them at your door

Have them come inside

Offer them a drink

Ask them why they’re here

Pull open the shades

So Sunlight will appear

Politely and gently

Listen to concerns

Kindly end the chat

Ask them never to return

But if Sadness reappears

And their shadow mars your Zen

Rely upon your Feng Shui

And close your door on them again

Is this some twisted test

Of how much I can bear?

Do I look away or stare

At the pieces of our mess?

My mind races without voice

Where do I write my answer?

What’s the cure for ourlove’s cancer?

I suspect multiple choice…

A. Time away for reflection

B. The first one to forgive

C. Your faults so you can give

D. Side with compassion

All of the above?

Answer with your heart

So that healing can start

And we’ll pass the test of love

Dear Unsealers,

I wrote this poem for my son during a very difficult time last year when he was suffering from depression and suicidal thoughts. Luckily my ex-wife and I (over-re)acted quickly and sought him counseling and medical treatment. Thankfully, today he is stable and thriving in his first year of college…but I will always be vigilant of the signs should they manifest again. I guess the moral of my take is to be vigilant of your child’s mental health and to not be afraid to go overboard with seeking professional help for them. False alarms are better than emergency sirens.

ABSOLUTELY YOU.

My infinite sadness

Is the thought of losing you

Never has a feeling

Been so absolute

Forever is a long time

To grieve, to mourn, to cry

But never do I ever

Want to say goodbye

Though life’s a little hard right now

And my happiness minute

Know absolutely nothing ever

Keeps me from loving you

I have roses on my tongue

Velvet kisses, words with thorns

I have magnolias in my eyes

Silver petals that mesmerize

Orange blossoms on my chest

Cover my heart with their zest

I have orchids for my navel

Like a sprite from woodland fable

Through my waist and far below

Hidden garden with its glow

My body, vase of stems and leaves

Ivy wrapped around my knees

Small bouquet of scent and wonder

Arranged for all to gaze and ponder

Tend my garden, see me grow

Water daily, let it flow

Then pick my flowers with delight

For they’ll come back throughout the night

Dear Unsealers,

I wrote this on the tarmac of my local airport as I witnessed my 16 year old son take his first solo flight. He didn’t even have a drivers license, yet he strapped into the cockpit of a single engine plane and piloting towards the runway. I felt helpless, proud, scared to death, and wanting to run behind his plane all at once. After what felt like a heart stopping forever, he skillfully landed the plane and taxied in. This moment will always be surreal and magical for me.

AIRBORNE

You sail across the mid-day sky

The wind upon my sullen face

You climb to heights unseen

I feel weightless

Like a feather tossed along by the playful wind

My mind is blank, like sterile moonlight

Your heart is warm, like the velvety morning sun

I feel helpless and hopeful

You are falling, drifting, gliding across the open horizon

I can move and love, freely

You can feel all of Earth beneath your unmarred feet

I hold the Universe across my fragile shoulders

And the silence roars into my ears

Along with the bristling of my every hair

The windy tears dry upon my sunburnt cheeks

You are weightless, drifting, soaring

And after seconds that seem like fragments of eternity

Gently, you land, into my embrace

Outward beauty is fleeting

Taken away by the years

Like waves brushing sand back into the sea

But a beautiful souls never fades

It shines brighter, like a perennial diamond, as the years progress

When our outward mask fades away

The beautiful soul can be seen, fully, in all its splendor

Why do we confuse physical beauty with permanence,

When we know full well its ephemeral nature?

Why not, instead, seek to make ourselves beautiful on the inside,

And have that live forever?

Bias is the crime scene

Authenticity is the crime

Ignorance is enforcement

Non-conformance is the charge

Guilty is the plea

Happiness is the defense

Bigotry is the jury

Hypocrisy is the judge

Hate is the sentence

Fear is the prison guard

Rejection is the warden

Courage is the appeal

Tolerance is probation

Empathy is the bill

Compassion is the vote

Acceptance is the law

Love is supreme justice

I am a grateful father

More importantly, parent

Through a gift that was God sent

Delivered by a mother

Time slips by without notice

Photos to remind my soul

Of a sacrifice untold

They grow from bud to lotus

And now my grey reminds me

Of broken bones and scraped knees

Diapers, prom, college degrees

Protect them to set them free

Now I sit to reminisce

Wishing I had done better

As my heart writes this letter

Of those early years I miss

My daughter is watercolor song

A blend of oil paint, chalk, and pencil

A free-form work without a stencil

A collage of talent, pure and strong

Her beauty draws you from the start

Deep chestnut hair to aqua eyes

Her humor takes you by surprise

I know, in life, she’ll leave her mark

Her passion flows from deep inside

Her portrait, brushstrokes from her heart

And all she does, a work of art

A masterpiece that gives me pride

Relative Trees

My son is strong, a young oak tree

His leaves move gently in the breeze

His shadow calms, puts me at ease

He is the tree I wish to be

My tree is rugged, rough, and torn

Life’s left it’s mark, my bark is worn

Leaves have fallen; my shade, forlorn

I’m not the tree that I was born

My son’s long branches reach the sky

Grows and flowers as birds come by

Watch in wonder and start to cry

As he bears fruit for passersby

My roots will keep his soil intact

And block the wind upon his back

And when the Man comes with His axe

I’ll be the one that He will hack

My son’s tree will live long and free

And he will bloom majestically

My stump will keep him company

Under his shade is where I’ll be

Loneliness, a friend of mine

They keep me company, they take my time

They visit often and stay too long

They whisper dark things, sing sad songs

They drink along and share my glass

Thus wishing that our time won’t pass

Loneliness, the jealous type

They shun the social scene and hype

Prefers to keep me in my room

To make my mind a heavy tomb

Of grey-scale thoughts, of shadowed dreams

And feed me lethargy in reams

If I reach out or you reach in

My friend’s departure will begin

And pull me to the Sun and light

They’re only gone when when you’re in sight

These are not my legs,
I’m watching myself from above
I wonder…
Are those mine
I can’t feel them, holy christ!
I can see them
My brains scrambled,
Astral projection, dmt and me
I can see,
Try to be me.