You’re perfect just the way you are.
Such a cliche that has made it thus far.
Who would I be without all the stigmas?
A sexy, fierce chick without bodies to count.
A million dollar female not asking for handouts.
Names of a breeder b**** or rag for bodily fluids will be silenced.
A deeper meaning to a survivor embedded.
Laying down my armor, replaced by unity.
Revolution is near.
Remove all the anxiety when I take the stage.
Perhaps, I am eager for the outcome they say.
Postpartum will no longer haunt me, the demons in my head no longer taunt me.
Full of life with only angels guiding me, rather than fighting the noise from the negativities trying to down me.
Still always picking the yang.
To boot as a woman, we’re the yin, so a little bird sang.
Titles given by man would be thrown out.
In this ideal world full of bliss.
Every worry taken care of.
A village for my littles.
No more irritability that cripples.
Don’t you change a thing, beautiful celestial being.
Fix your mindset to attract these things.
So the little bird sings.
Remember, you’re perfect just the way you are.
A cliche that has made it thus far.

A spirit bound within flesh.
I have become one in mesh.
A celestial being with utmost respect.
Shedding my light on the world as I bled and bled.
Gaining arrow after arrow in my back.
Never a helping hand do I lack.
Wishing a world full of peace and serenity.
Something that might not come unexacting for the ones who stepped on me.
Spreading awareness with love and light.
The utmost respect should be given to I.
I, a goddess in the flesh.
A divine human seeking success.
Not the success you see in material things.
Yet, success you see in making a change.
A change this world is desperate to gain.
I fly so high, up, up to away with my wings.
A human who should be so evil or unkind.
I wish nothing but the best for you and I.
Our souls know the ones not meant for our path.
Trusting the universe as I grasp my weapons.
Weapons gifted to me by ancestors in heaven.
Choosing wisely who’s given advantage.
For the utmost respect to me, as the battle I chose can heal he, she, we, within me.

Dear Retro Me,

Let me begin by expressing my deep concern and pondering over the path we have taken. It seems as though the memories of who I envisioned you to be have slipped away from my grasp. It’s as if I find myself trapped in a moment of profound sadness and confusion, finding solace only in the bittersweet realm of reminisce, where thoughts of you become reminiscent of the ill-fated love story of Romeo and Juliet.

In this contemplative state, I question the purpose behind this toxic love that urges us to end it all, but for what reason? Can I truly comprehend how to handle our relationship, my beloved? It seems that in my endeavor to provide you with what you desire, I have inadvertently denied you of what you truly need, direction. Perhaps my actions and the choices I made have left you with a sense of melancholy, causing you to move on from me by the time this letter reaches you. I roll around, unable to shake off the sadness that my words, laced with regret, impose upon you.

You, my dear, embody the quintessential muse, yearning to break free from the shackles of my ignorance. Yet, it is the stubbornness and pride of a scared man that keeps your exquisite beauty hidden from the world, denying them the privilege of beholding your magnificence. In my denial of the reality I have created, I question whether the love I have entangled us in is truly what we deserve, or if it is overshadowed by the responsibility I carry as a person. Sometimes, I find myself revering my concepts as if they were a separate entity from you, failing to acknowledge that your existence is a testament to my own creation and influence. It seems that the laws and expectations I have imposed upon you fall on ears that have become deaf to the significance they once held.

I feel ashamed for what I attributed to you is nearly impossible for me to reach and grasp a hold of. Dearly beloved you are the greatest achievement one can possibly attain, and I have always been a foot or two behind your shadow. Reaching for the acknowledgment of your presence in my heart’s ambitions, yet I have sunken deep within the pool of potentiality. Never to answer the old question of will I ascend to be the Superman I created in my childhood dreams?

If you still here in this present moment reading this letter answer me. Please give me the wisdom that a man needs to surrender.

Love always,
The outer you to present you

Dear Gerald,
If there’s one lesson you’ve learned in all the years you’ve been on this Earth, is that you were worthy of respect all along. 

You knew deep inside your heart since you were little that you desired to be respected like a lot of your peers, family members, teachers, celebrities, and authority figures who you saw had a lot of respect, like the Reverends and Pastors you grew up watching preaching in a few Baptist churches. 

But respect was rare in your early journey. Not a lot of people shared your deep belief that you were worthy of respect. You were undermined, dismissed, and belittled just for existing how you wanted to exist. 

That soft-spoken sensitive soul just wanted to enjoy being comfortable in his own skin. But the troublemakers refuse to let that happen. 

These experiences of disrespect created doubt & inner demons that you would wrestle with throughout your teens and early 20s, while you tried to figure out who you were and where you fit in a microwave world. 

The inner demons desperately wanted to take you out and celebrate victory. But, something made you keep fighting, because you didn’t want them to win the war. 

Today in 2023, you still stand, feeling stronger than ever. Plus, you can say without hesitation that not only are you worthy of respect, but that anything less than the respect you expect is unacceptable. 

The disrespect you’ve endured throughout your life taught you that respect for self is imperative -  because without it, other people will disrespect you if they have the chance to. 

You’re worthy of respect because you’ve always strived to be a respectable person in a sincere way. The road wasn’t easy to achieve that. But you went through the fire to know what’s acceptable and what’s not when it comes to how you want people to treat you. 

You give people a chance to show why they should be respected and to see if you should respect them. If they failed the test, then they failed your class. 

You’ve learned repeatedly that respect should flow both ways between two people (or more) who appreciate each other. If respect is only flowing one way, the person who isn’t being respected must demonstrate self-love by removing themselves completely from that person. 

It can be a challenge at times to say that we’re worthy of respect if we rarely receive respect from others. But when we have people who care about us and show us how respect for ourselves should look, we can say what’s true in our hearts, that we’re worthy of respect too.

Sincerely,
Gerald

My presence Is a Present
I’d say kiss my ass
But 9/10 times you probably already did
Or at least fantasized about it

Don’t take my love for weakness
Or my heart for granted
because when I hit you
with the access denied
You gone panic

I’m a prize
But I’m not a trophy
I’m a treasure
But I’m not just for your pleasure

You can’t pick me up
and put me down
When you don’t want me

I promise you
I won’t sit around and collect dust
Waiting and debating
Should I stay or should I go

Because the difference
between me and a trophy
Is that I won’t be around
when the dust settles
Because I don’t settle

I’ve wasted too much
Of my time
Trying to be patient
But you can lead a horse
To water
But that doesn’t mean it’s gone drink it

Like what makes you think
You can play with me
I’m more than what you see
dope vibes
And energy
So don’t you dare
Come to me
Past your prime
I’m not sorry to say You’re out of time

You should have been
On your knees
Worshipping me
I’m a Queen

Better yet a Goddess

I surpass the constraints
of the program
I know
who I am
and who I be

So nothing you do
Can phase me
You can’t even
Amaze me

I’m priceless
So my presence
Is a blessing
And you’re ungrateful
I don’t have to be with you
To know you ain’t faithful
I can tell by your distasteful
Inconsistent lukewarm ways

My presence is valuable
And you missed out

Someone pour out
Libation for them

Feel sorry for them
Because I don’t
Dust settles
But I won’t

I will always be worthy
Of love
I don’t need them
To justify it
They knew it too
That’s why they sometimes
Treat me the way they do

I’m the most
Precious thing
You could have ever
Held in your hand
A heart of gold
Love as endless as grains of sand
A pure soul

A smile that’s a work of art
A body only the creator could design

And if you don’t think I’m worthy
That’s perfectly fine

Why am I worthy of the utmost respect?
This can only be answered with a short summary that is very emotional.
I was an unwanted, and unexpected baby, born to a young mother that didn’t really want to be a mother. I’m told that my mother left me in wet diapers, that burned my sensitive baby skin with urine. I’m told that she left me crying and did not meet my emotional needs. This was proven to be the case.
I was bounced around and handed over to anyone that would take care of me and to many that didn’t.
Due to this, I was unable to form bonds, or form healthy connections to others because I didn’t feel safe. That’s the easy and less painful way to put it into words. I never believed that I had a purpose. Until my grandparents decided that enough was enough. I’m told that my grandfather saw something special in me, and that he believed that I could break the family cycle if he were to take custody of me. That my friends was the beginning of the rest of my young life. It wasn’t easy growing up in a very broken environment. I have been in therapy since I was 4. Unfortunately, I had to do some of it with a very detached mother. At that point, one starts to realize that they have to protect themselves. That they have to be strong. Also, that they are worthy of love. It’s not easy at all, in fact, it’s one of the loneliest battles to fight. My best friends became my stuffed animals in my bedroom and each day I would line them up in my room and ask them how we could solve the problems of the day. A bad visit with my mother? Check! I was a bad girl today. Check. I didn’t know which end was up many days because my decisions were made for me in court by a judge. I had to have the visits that would lead me deeper into the spiral of self confusion and insecurities.
I spent most of my young life trying to gain the approval of my mother. Instead, I became her biggest disappointment which she would almost always let me know. Michelle, why can’t you be more like your sister. You’re such a wimp. Such a cry baby, overly sensitive etc. Her words burned into my heart and I couldn’t quite figure out how I was so different from others. Generational Trauma is real. Also known as generational curses. Breaking that cycle is very hard. I fought for years. I fawned, and I tried to be the image of what my mother wanted me to be. I am now 45 years old, and both my grandfather, and my mother have passed away. I lost my mother in 2019 and we were estranged at the time of her passing. When all of the painful memories start to rest their ugly heads it is my Grandma who encourages me now. She supports me and when I cry to her, I tell her I feel as if I am just floating here on earth, it is her words that keep me going. I no longer float along this life because I know that I was born to fly. We all deserve respect. We are all worthy of love. We are all beautiful hearts and our purpose is to try uplift the broken. To love the unloved. To encourage the hopeless and to help others accept who they are with no judgement.
That my friends makes me worthy of the utmost respect. The journey that I have fought through the last 45 years.
*Hopefully this writing makes sense and touches souls.
Trauma has taught this woman that she deserves nothing more than 100% respect. We all deserve the utmost respect.

Shelle Belle

As the sun sets and the centerpiece finds its place, we contemplate: where do we, in our differences, stand? Vibrations of our imperfections magnify, birthing expressions of distrust and anger, like flowers flourishing in the harshest conditions.

Yet, firm we stand, forging a bridge of verbal cues, a path where misunderstandings are not barriers, but stepping stones to compassion. In the face of disagreement, I nurture the tender seedling of respect.

We gather, our words painting ideals that soothe the soul’s unrest. Hands reach out, meanings intertwine, and in the midst of it, we welcome a vibrant spirit of life.

We strike the match of observation, and in our symphony, the merging respect hums a keynote. A song carried on the winds by the mature muse of mothers, giving life to images that often stand as concepts. We act in unity, living out the meanings of these actions, even when they diverge from our own.

In time, I earn your trust. The understanding light in the eyes of my peers, peeking into my perspective of wisdom, nourishes the garden of respect, cultivating gratitude on the vibrant leaves of our shared journey.

Does this resonate with the respect I’ve earned? Through engaging dialogues and shared experiences, respect becomes my emblem, not for agreement, but for understanding. This garden, a testament to seeds sowed with patience and empathy, is my deserved sanctuary. Even when our views diverge, respect bridges the gap, a testament to the power of understanding over agreement.

‘Who’s worthy of respect?’ Asks the
Oh so gentle soul. ‘Me, perhaps?’
Replying tentatively, I question whether
The ‘me’ others see is laudable with my
Honesty, diplomatically voiced,
Yet still encases my faith, ethics, and friendship.

Offering an ear, a hug, a friend, a listener
Free of malice and judgment, that’s never a jeer.

Resounding devotion can never
End, as long as your true self reverberates
Soulfully within a frequency received by
Peers and kin who feel the same.
Enter into the ring to battle out the
Captivating desires leading you astray
To a world where your worth is bound by trends.

©️ Malak kalmoni chehab ©️

“Discovering Faith, True Beauty and Confidence”

During and After Cancer

Without questioning, this is how I conquered through my diagnosis of cancer, not once, but twice. Without questioning, when going through a serious illness, you learn to know what faith truly is, along with finding the true meaning of beauty and how you really feel about yourself. I know this all too well because I have experienced many trials and tribulations in my life. Through it all, I gained strength that I never knew I had, and much more confidence in myself, which led me to loving myself all over again. I had a new beginning, all on my own.

After going through so much in my life, things were going well, until it happened. I had a head-on collision with not only breast cancer, but colon cancer as well, and it changed my entire outlook on life. I thought I had endured rough years before but going through cancer was the rest of the iceberg. There is nothing like it. You wonder, what in life had you done so wrong to have this placed upon you. You began asking, why me. Yet through my tragedies and all that I had to endure, it all became an awakening for me, in which I received and gained all the strength and encouragement I needed to conquer. Through it all, not only did I find the true meaning of life, I found the true meaning of beauty. Through all the chemo, radiation, the pain I endured, I still felt beautiful. I found myself looking in the mirror even more during this time, because I thought what I was dealing with would change me drastically, but as I viewed the imperfections on my body I now must live with, over time it got better, and instead of feeling sorry for myself, I embrace it. I’m still among the living, who am I to complain.

Whether we are dealing with an illness or any other negative feelings about ourselves, our lives, as well as our bodies, we need to be our on-cheering section. Through all my mishaps, I still feel beautiful, and it is real. I have come to realize that even going through such a dark time, I still have a life to be lived, and I am going to live it to the fullest. When I think about the individuals that are no longer among us due to such a horrific disease, I’m truly grateful, and I will no longer take my life for granted. Life is precious, and we don’t realize it until we come close to losing it. When I think of the “gift of life” that was given to me twice over, I knew I did not have a moment to waste. I would never say having or going through cancer is a gift, surviving it, receiving a second and third chance at life, is the gift. Yet, through it all, I did not allow the disease to take away who I am, or what I stand for. I am a survivor, as well as an example to show that it can happen, and that I can go on and look and feel just as beautiful, inside, and out, and it shines brighter.

Yet through my tragedies and all that I had to endure, I received and gained all the strength and encouragement I needed to conquer. I will say that the areas of my body that were interrupted will be a constant reminder I had cancer, and at times, it does bother me at times, I’m human, but within a moment or two, I look past it, because those areas could be covered up. True beauty is within and when you feel beautiful on the inside, it shows so clearly on the outside. Just because I had cancer, does not mean cancer had me. We as women should never allow anything, or any circumstance to steal our joy, nor our self-esteem, even while cancer is taking you through many emotions and many unanswered situations. At times you feel black-balled. And I for sure know with cancer, many times you are too weak to even think about your looks, because you’re not always feeling your best, but at times we must try, even a little bit and fight past it and keep living. Through any tragedy, we are and always will be beautiful and unique! Women, we all know that our bodies take lickings, yet we keep on ticking.

When I look back now and see how far I’ve came, I have to say, I thought right away that my cancer diagnoses were truly a death sentence, because you’re not sure if you’re going to make it. Cancer has taught me not to blink twice on life, my eyes are wide open, living my best life. I also realized after surviving cancer both times, that I was about to face new beginnings, new hope, do and see more with a whole new perspective on life. I share my story with others hoping to make a positive impact on someone who is ill or otherwise, where they can proceed life in a whole new way. I am 66yrs of age now, and I am cherishing each day, each moment, and through it all, I feel that I’m at my best. I am confident in myself, as well as grateful. I am starting over, doing things I should have done before cancer.

One day, after one of the many surgeries I had during my breast cancer period, and I could remember it as if it was yesterday, I experienced something so real, so peaceful, something of a miracle, that I had to write it down. I turned that experience into a poem, and I called it “Peace”. I took that poem, along with many others I had written, writing had become therapy for me. I am hoping that anyone who may have the opportunity to read my poems, gets out of them, what I placed in them, they are as real as poems could ever be. My most recently published book is titled, “Cancer, Yet Cancer Again, but I will not Die, before I’m Dead”. I titled it that, because I truly feel that you should not stop living, because you have cancer, and that is exactly what I almost did. I heard the word cancer, and my immediate thought was, that’s it. I am a realist, a regular everyday woman, who have overcome many obstacles, which took me to writing, trying to produce inspirational stories. If I had not gone through all that I did, I would have never anticipated such.

The scars and mishaps that are now attached to my body due to cancer, are just that. They are symbols for someone else’s inspiration and hope. I am thankful, because if I had not struggled, I would not have found my true strengths. Not allowing anything to stop me. I am a true example that you can survive cancer, not once, but twice, providing you get to it in time. I am not saying all will be easy, I am not saying all will survive it, what I am saying, is to have faith, fight with all you have, then hold on. I honestly believe, when and if you survive a horrific tragedy or a horrible disease such as cancer, it is for a reason. You have a purpose, and through that purpose, faith, compassion and strength, true beauty is born.

Thank You,
Karen Rice/x2 Cancer Survivor
Author