Dear Self,

Everytime you hear the word respect the first thing that always comes to mind is Aretha Franklin’s, “Respect,” such a great and powerful song. You always pay tribute to it because it’s something as a young child you didn’t have. Of course as a child you were more interested in her spelling out R-E-S-P-E-C-T in the song then you were about noticing that you were treated more like last nights dinner laying in the trash can unedible, instead of, the freshly made dinner just nicely laid out on the table before you started eating it. As you have grown up, the song still resonates with you today and it’s time to feel more like the fresh from the oven turkey then the the turkey bones laying in the trash because you, self are an amazing female who deserves the recognition of being treated as a main course sometimes and not just the trash that in general nobody wants.

As a child you didn’t notice that adults telling you to be quiet when you were so excited to share about this cool toy you found at a yard sale was considered them not respecting your right to talk. Yes, there is a time and place that in general you shouldn’t be overexcited and loud about something like in libraries where people are trying to do homework or read a good book, but a yard sale? This is where you should voice your opinion on things because this may be something you can have at home to play with. Not that the adults you are with care. They are in their own world getting what they want and what they think you would want but never asking you or allowing you to voice your opinion on things that impact you. It’s like they have an idea in their head of who you should be and everything else you want to say or do doesn’t matter. You were the the imperfect chair at the table being covered by a perfect cloth to show that you were the ideal child with hidden desires that to others was to remain unseen.

Years have passed and now you are a teenager. This time you can voice your opinions on things like what to wear and buy for yourself as long as it’s reasonably priced, but when it comes to actual opinions on bigger than you ideas on life no one is listening. It’s like being trapped in this idea I need to be into myself like other teenagers my age and focus on what the latest movie is out and when I’m going to see it. The things that are not important to me but should be important because this is the age I’m supposed to care about trends and dating and not about worldly issues that will affect me as an adult. Oh well! I would rather have a seat at the best table surrounded by others than the messy uncleaned table were we put the things we didn’t like and never talked about.

Nowadays as an adult in her mid twenties, it is important for me to be heard as a person with her own opinions. My childhood days of being unheard and the lack of respect of my opinions in my teen years are long over. I am at the point in my life where I am making myself heard. There’s no more of the shushing or talking over me because you don’t like what I am saying since it’s not relevant to how you want the conversation to go. I want to share my thoughts and not just be a table where people put their own dishes on me and expect me to just accept them as they are and not say anything about it. I will be loud. Raise my voice over you trying to silence me because you don’t like my opinion, or the direction the conversation is going. I’m not saying that everyone will want to agree with my opinions on things but I will make sure that people at least listen to me and allow me to contribute something to the table instead of being the table.

No one should ever feel like they are unheard and should be given the chance to speak their mind even if others don’t agree with your opinion. Not everything you say will be the hamburgers at the barbecue sometimes you will be the relish that only some people will eat on their hotdogs, but you should never feel like you are as a whole person the moldy leftovers in the fridge that need to be tossed out because they are useless. You are the freshly put out food at the table made up of a variety of dishes that has a lot to offer those who come over and sit or stand at the table. Even those who decide not to be at your table because there are too many dishes they don’t like should respect those dishes because without them, they don’t know that there is something to not like, but they can appreciate that there’s variety in this life that makes more room for them to have a seat at a table with food they enjoy then fighting over the last slice of pizza because everyone’s interested in it but there’s not enough for everyone which makes it harder to be heard and figure out who actually deserves the last slice when we can all just share it among ourselves.