I am grateful For:

My sons laugh, where his eyes close and he reveals a smile that heals every wound that’s ever been afflicted,

For the woman who has always been in my corner even when I was circling my darkest days,

For the abundance of energy that I curate and the way my attitude has shifted,

For my parents who worked hard and showed me the old ways,

For the fortitude I’ve been afforded when my troubles were consistent,

For the metal rods holding me together and there was no co pay,

For my friends that heard my poetry and made me perform, they insisted,

For my fellow vets who checked on me when they knew I wasn’t ok,

For the love I now give my body and the openness to holistics,

For me living with love and not having room for no hate,

For all my friends that deployed who were never injured by ballistics,

For the opportunity to switch school that I took back in 08,

For he work ethic instilled in me I project with persistence,

For the faith that i wont live forever, but my words will succumb to no date,

For the truth in my tongue that wants to help elevate extistince,

No late times in the grand design,

For the great spirit and to my future self I’m so faithful,

I hope I emanate all things I am so grateful.

What am I most thankful for
I’m thankful for my children. They’re grown now and they are both healthy, smart and inquisitive. They brighten my day.
I’m thankful I’m alive to witness everything in life My goal is to learn from my mistakes and I’m thankful I have coping skills.
I don’t have much but I’m thankful I have a roof over my head.
I’m thankful I have helped others. I’m thankful I can take constructive criticism and I’m able to endure it.
I’m thankful to have a sister, that’s about all the family I have.
I’m thankful for my job and the ability to be able to work with injuries and mental illness, I persevere. I have been in situations where I shouldn’t be alive but I’m thankful that I am.
I’m thankful that I can see the leaves on the trees change.
I’m thankful I can breathe, though I don’t have a range
My life has been hard It’s been marred by sadness and violence but I’ve remained silenced.

You are a man who:
wears his beard fully,
not because he’s handsome but because uncle sam, doesn’t have a say anymore

A man who embraces that hint of wild man that he is

A man in the woods, only answering to the birds call

A man who knows not the name of every tree but all of their essence

A man who isn’t afraid of alarms anymore

A man whose son’s friends all want to meet

A man no longer confined by garmets who tried to garnish Vietnamese farmers

A man who travels the word sharing his love for poetry, enticing others to write their own story

He doesn’t care how sad or boring,
this man wants to illuminate a safe space for your allegory,

Because on any given day, your words may save someone’s life

A man grounded in the Earth
A man who doesnt fidget and twitch because his back doesn’t hurt

A man who doesn’t get anxiety between 5 and 6 PM anymore

A man that doesn’t lash out when he’s challenged by a loved one

A man who takes a deep belly breath each time

A man who’s presence alone makes people feel better about themselves

A man who’s wife always feel safe in his arms

A man that takes those wanting to fly, under his wing

A man….
that I think I’m
Pretty close to actualizing

Advocating for pushing beyond your
Comfort zone is easy, it’s just words.
Applying it to yourself is hard and requires
A dauntless temperament that’s bolder
Than your fear, that binds your actions.

As an introvert who bottles up her
Emotions and fears, confronting
Anyone who’s hurt me has a severe
Strain over me, anxiety flourishing,
Sweating, combing through vocabulary that Never,

Ever seems to fit, and always has
The possibility of being misinterpreted
As my clarity of thought comes
With pen, paper, thoughts processed
Slowly for the least hurt possible attained.

Consequences of words spoken
Can’t easily be taken back, and they happen
To have a lingering effect that’s unspoken!

©️Malak kalmoni chehab ©️

Hey you!
I wanted to let you know you are doing a great job in your life. Your getting things done and making things happening for yourself, kicking ass and taking names. Your mother and father are still together which is endearing and you sister is going to college, you have the best relationship with her.
You’ve went to school as well what a feat! You graduated and became a forensic psychologist, and look at your body it is amazing, What have you been doing!?
How are your kiddos doing? They must be getting big. Your son has also been to college, he’s a great kid! Your daughter what a beautiful young lady she’s 13 now and made high honors in school.
You are so lucky,You have no family drama…
Danielle, Your mom and dad raised you right, You’re a great mom yourself. always tending to your children making sure they have everything they need. The farm house you live in is gorgeous, and it’s so emaculate how do you do it all and keep it together without losing your sanity, You’ve always been a patient person so that’s not hard to believe. I wish I had The luck you have, always winning on the lottery, man… you have it made!

I have dreamed forever about moving forward with my writing career.
There were many different times in my life that writing got me through the pot holes and broken hearts, but somewhere in between different life lessons started to dim my voice and little by little, I gave up and decided to take a different path. My college major was assigned and I became engulfed in Psychology. After all, the world would always need my expertise and empathy. I had life skills to add to the process and my own obstacles that I was trying to navigate but I knew that I was going to get that degree. I was SO wrong.
As classes came and went I started to feel like each day was the same thing, same lectures, same people and the homework? Don’t even get me started on the 20 plus page essays that my brain started to struggle to complete. I had always wanted to help others, but my heart was just not in the classes. I started to slowly daze off in class and at the ticking of the large white and black clock on the wall became the most annoying sound. The other students were almost always arguing and debating creating a not so zen environment for my PTSD. I had do to something. I was paying a fortune for these classes, but I didn’t see or feel a future for myself. I ended my college career that semester. I immediately felt like a failure and started to slowly give up on everything. I lost my zest for life and spent most days sleeping while my kids were in school. A visit to my Dr would later show a diagnosis of permanent and untreatable depression from a closed head injury that I had a few years back from domestic violence.
Tests down the road would also bring about a major life change. I was diagnosed with a TBI.
I had a permanent bruise on my brain. All I could do was move forward with the physical therapy and counseling. I was shattered when they told me I likely would need to be put into learning disabled assistance if I decided to return to college. After the realization that I was going to need a bit of extra assistance in my classes, I ended my dreams officially of finishing my degree.
Fast forward to trying to hold down two jobs and deal with an emergency with my three children I had to leave employment. My head was spinning. Thoughts racing and I was always on the go. I carried a notebook in my car and would jot down little clusters of thoughts as they would come to me in moments of quiet reflection. ( That notebook was later lost in a move) Strike 3… You’re out!
There was an ache in my heart but never a good time to start writing again. The negative thoughts were always there. You can’t write, you couldn’t even make it through college. He was right, you’re stupid and going nowhere with life- You’re writing is not as good as the professional writers out there… We all know that voice. The one that laughs at us and tells us we are not good enough. The echo of anger and of self doubt was ALWAYS there.
Then, one night, scrolling through my phone I found the ad. I hit the follow button and went on with my every day things. Each night, I would go to that page on Instagram .You guessed it! This one. I clicked through the profile and decided to reach out VIA direct message.
The first conversation went something like this.
“Hello, are you a legit person?” I hit the send and anxiously waited a response. It was only a few seconds and Lauren messaged me back. I asked so many questions. My heart wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready. 5.00 was the minimum monthly payment and I made up excuses each time and talked myself out of hitting that join us button.
Until one evening I was on and received a message. “Have you joined us yet?” It was Lauren I told her no and that we didn’t have the 5.00 but that I was still thinking about it.
There was absolutely no pressure. I felt so comfortable with the vibes of The Unsealed and a few days later, in the middle of the night suffering through a bout of flashbacks and anxiety I hit that button. I joined for the minimum and I looked around. It was beautiful. Everything was so pure, so raw and so honest.
At 1:30 am MST I stepped out of my comfort zone and I wrote my first entry. It was like a huge weight had been lifted off of my chest. I was home. I was safe to write out things that I had held in for years and there were others just like myself. We were a group of people that all survived different life obstacles and traumas and we were all in a way connected. I have never looked back and try to write now whenever I get the chance. Lauren and the Unsealed family have helped me heal and find my voice again. I couldn’t have done it if I had not taken that first tiny step out of my comfort zone and for that, I am so grateful.
Thank you to all of you, for helping me through this last few months.
My lips have finally become unsealed.

Why am I worthy of the utmost respect?
This can only be answered with a short summary that is very emotional.
I was an unwanted, and unexpected baby, born to a young mother that didn’t really want to be a mother. I’m told that my mother left me in wet diapers, that burned my sensitive baby skin with urine. I’m told that she left me crying and did not meet my emotional needs. This was proven to be the case.
I was bounced around and handed over to anyone that would take care of me and to many that didn’t.
Due to this, I was unable to form bonds, or form healthy connections to others because I didn’t feel safe. That’s the easy and less painful way to put it into words. I never believed that I had a purpose. Until my grandparents decided that enough was enough. I’m told that my grandfather saw something special in me, and that he believed that I could break the family cycle if he were to take custody of me. That my friends was the beginning of the rest of my young life. It wasn’t easy growing up in a very broken environment. I have been in therapy since I was 4. Unfortunately, I had to do some of it with a very detached mother. At that point, one starts to realize that they have to protect themselves. That they have to be strong. Also, that they are worthy of love. It’s not easy at all, in fact, it’s one of the loneliest battles to fight. My best friends became my stuffed animals in my bedroom and each day I would line them up in my room and ask them how we could solve the problems of the day. A bad visit with my mother? Check! I was a bad girl today. Check. I didn’t know which end was up many days because my decisions were made for me in court by a judge. I had to have the visits that would lead me deeper into the spiral of self confusion and insecurities.
I spent most of my young life trying to gain the approval of my mother. Instead, I became her biggest disappointment which she would almost always let me know. Michelle, why can’t you be more like your sister. You’re such a wimp. Such a cry baby, overly sensitive etc. Her words burned into my heart and I couldn’t quite figure out how I was so different from others. Generational Trauma is real. Also known as generational curses. Breaking that cycle is very hard. I fought for years. I fawned, and I tried to be the image of what my mother wanted me to be. I am now 45 years old, and both my grandfather, and my mother have passed away. I lost my mother in 2019 and we were estranged at the time of her passing. When all of the painful memories start to rest their ugly heads it is my Grandma who encourages me now. She supports me and when I cry to her, I tell her I feel as if I am just floating here on earth, it is her words that keep me going. I no longer float along this life because I know that I was born to fly. We all deserve respect. We are all worthy of love. We are all beautiful hearts and our purpose is to try uplift the broken. To love the unloved. To encourage the hopeless and to help others accept who they are with no judgement.
That my friends makes me worthy of the utmost respect. The journey that I have fought through the last 45 years.
*Hopefully this writing makes sense and touches souls.
Trauma has taught this woman that she deserves nothing more than 100% respect. We all deserve the utmost respect.

Shelle Belle

Standing at a crossroads and I find my bones feeling lazy,
a vision towards my future but the road is hazy,

I always pour out to those who don’t realize that I’m giving them something sacred,

They let it spill over like the blood of the natives instead trying to save it.

So now I want to save myself, it was a happenstance of a chance , I told myself “let me go back for one more lap.”

I met a mystic whose mystique and music on the mountain drew me In, I felt like I was speaking to a feminine me,

she gave me.. a reading of tarot,
3 and 4 of swords, 8 of pentacles my heart was open but my mind still narrow.

She offered an invitation, “come, join us in a circle for an incantation

Oh, and bring a sacred vessel,
It’s contents can help remove impurities from your blood vessels.”

I found myself-
Surrounded by 7 goddesses, but I am not a god above them ,
In fact they welcomed this weary traveler so for that I love them

most were there because they wanted a change,
one was working through her social anxiety in the astral plane ,
one who was there, fulfilled her job as a mother, did you know a mothers love is like no other

In fact I felt it everywhere it invited this brother –
to lay his head on her lap ,
It said “come my child let your soul rest and take a nap.”

So as I drifted off between time and space,
I start to feel a tingle come upon my face

I felt my deep, rich, hot, blood being awoken ,
the spanish being spoken to the Spanish that left us broken.

Only hoping that my great, great, grandmother with high cheek bones and looooonng, flowing, raven hair was there.

And she was.

She explained to me that all we ever did was fight , now she’s asking me to rest ,

based off the four of swords during my reading, I think I will.

I felt a chill,
as the wind decided to inspect our ceremony- the clouds said “here follow me,”
the moon looked bigger I closed my eyes and a cloaked figure ,
invited me on to a boat ,

He “said do you want to see the future?

First you must see the fool and the fool is you.”

Using canabis to guide his canine to reveal the canines of the living shadow.

A monster, a myth, a mirror,
“come look inside my void and see yourself cleaner

Inspect your introspection ,ready front your reflection
Come, see that you’ve been so vulnerable.
Please give yourself some protection,

and on top of that- give yourself some love,
give yourself some patience,
and listen to yourself as your wisdom is amazing.”

I could hear this voice but was to afraid to face him, then I trusted myself and went to embrace him,

It was me, he was everything I’ve envisioned, now he’s the only person I look to when I make my decisions.

I said “you are so radiant, you’re exactly who I’m trying to be,”

he replied “good, you’re here finally but give yourself some time to be-

me, you, us, when I tell you something don’t second guess me, just trust . Ah ah ah, But no buts,

You’re here because you’re on the cusp of a new chapter,
to leave ink onto the first page you must first meet your master.”

First the mirror distorted, then the glass broke,
some footsteps approached it was the figure in cloak.

His presence was overpowering,
Emanating an energy at its zenith,

If I was faced with this Goliath then I must be David,
it was time for me to slay this behemoth.

But before I could unsheath my sword ,
I felt drawn to confront this chimera.

There I stood staring into
the blackness waiting for my terrors
to actualize,
I tore down his hood to meet his actual eyes.

It was me, again, looking even more divine than before.

He said “good, you passed the test because you don’t need to be afraid of yourself anymore!!!”

Then our guide brought us back to this plane,

I saw so much clarity to cut through that haze, this water sign now rolls with the waves as the moon beamed her rays, I give praise,

to this experience

as I’ve learned to shift my mind and my attitude ,

To live as my higher self, I will and I invite you, to always live with gratitude.

Thank you