I wish I could wake up in the morning
To a house that’s prepped and made
No dishes or mess to clean up
The laundry is folded and put away

I wish that I was understood
That my efforts were noticed
And in return the context clues I love to scatter
Get swept up by loved ones
Offering to return the favor

I wish that I could walk the streets late at night
No mace or pepper spray in my line of sight
My keys are meant to unlock my door
Not clenched between my knuckles
Waiting to be bore

I wish that I could shake the hands
Of each passerby I encounter
Grinning widely from cheek to cheek
Exchanging pleasantries and
our hopes for the future
Morals aligning and feeling at ease
Knowing many people feel the same as me

I wish I had one perfect day
To rest and partake in hobbies
No work to stress
Just reading my favorite books in hotel lobbies
I would sing and dance and play in the rain
No anger left, no unresolved pain

Because womanhood is often a burden
That at times feels like a tyrant warden
Patiently waiting until my time is served
And knowing my aptitude is mildly absurd
But I often hope for the little things
Because to me they feel like extraordinary wins
And when this mindless duty is fulfilled
My perfect day will be without guilt

A Perfect Day is accepting there are no perfect days,
While there may be a flaw, a blemish upon the face,
There is the joy of lipstick,
A pop of color giving life to an old soul,
An iridescent smile accepting the stale reheated coffee, of which
Faded red lipstick stains still clutch on to old coffee mugs,
While the bittersweet memories remain intact,
An outlook has changed,
Despite being in bed tossing and turning the night before,
You spend your morning in gratitude,
Until you allow yourself to seize the day and run into life,
Allow yourself to not let your inner melodrama to bring you down,
You inhale the air of life, and exhale the negativity,
A perfect day is not allowing the bad dreams in your body
To dictate your awakened state of reality,
 
I find the best moments in a perfect day to be full of laughter,
Laughter and having a sense of humor helps provide sunlight
To a darkened room, I find that my perfect day is where my sister
And I laugh and giggle like two partners in crime,
My perfect day is filled with moments of calm and piece,
It is not just a perfect day, but a days worth of memories,
That happily sit with me,
I find that there are perfect moments in the utter realms of destruction,
Opportunities to make something broken stir alive again,
 
My perfect day is where I begin with a fresh mindset,
An early morning walk with the dog,
I allow my perfect day to not be a pity party,
But a day of forgiveness and healing,
A perfect day is flooding the darkness with pure light,
And not allowing the burnt stale coffee to foul my mood,
 
For in my perfect day I am freeing myself from what brings me down.

Sunset comes in muted hues

Orange fire and baby blues

Seaside skies, so vast in views

Birds pass lovers, two by twos

The day erased to bygone news

Sunlight fades to starry muse

Gentle flames from bonfires fuse

Bring restful bliss from daytime’s ruse

From sunrise lies to nighttime truths

Our life resets when dawn renews

“Have a great day!” It’s a common wish among friends and well-wishers. We can easily say to someone “I hope that you have a great day today!,” and, unlike other hopes that we might have, is easy and effortless stuff.

At the core, it all depends upon what you make of your day. It has a different meaning for different people. Since we’re here, I’ll give you mine.

Simply put, my definition of “A great day” is easy as pie. A great day means getting up in the morning and being able to know that I have new episodes of podcasts to listen to in my feed.

Every weekday (barring major holidays), I start the day by listening to Nothing Personal with David Samson, a former Survivor castaway and President of the Miami Marlins. He’s smart, fresh, and funny.

A great day means that I can write. Since writing about combat sports is how I make my livelihood, I’ve had so many great days over the last six years.

Perhaps most importantly, a great day is one spent talking to and hanging out with the people most important me. The greatest days happens when my nieces get to spend time with me, their uncle.

Thanks for reading. Make this day a great one.

Perfectly Equal

Once upon a perfect day
All were equal in every way

Not color nor gender
Did prevent the render

Of kindness and care
Bestowed on everyone everywhere

In fact, all differences at hand
We celebrated in fashion most grand

And an impenetrable sphere
Protecting both straight and queer

And those dark skinned and light
Surrounded our earth, preventing a blight

Which threatened evil and strife
Upon this our most perfect life

For hate may have been the prequel
But equal would be the sequel

On this most perfect day
Conjured and imagined my way

It’s easy — isn’t it
To look back on our life & remember all the worst
All the worst times of our life that always seem to come first

Like the first time — I experienced racism
The first time — I experienced bullying

The first time — my love was used against me
Or the first time — my heart was broken

There was a lot of first of “THE WORST”
But likewise — there were many first of the best

Like the first time — I got the job I really wanted
Or the first time — I graduated

Or the time I won my first real fight with ease
Or the first time a family member came home from jail surprising me

There’s been a lot of good moments
but I seem to have forgotten a lot of them

I’m doing my best now — to live in the present moment
—To soak it all in

Cause I know there is so much to be grateful for
—There’s always been

Like my mom choosing peace & safety over toxicity — for her children

No matter what — she never let fear stop her

She was unbelievable
She was unstoppable

She did the best she could with the hand she was dealt

Like getting that job that not only paid the bills
but also provided us with a warm free house

Or that one time she pointed out to her lawyer — how she was wrong

That was only one of the many steps she took — to obtain our freedom

I still remember the first time she met my little boyfriend

She offered to give us some money
—then suggested we go to Barnes & Noble
to drink some coffee

At the time it was so embarrassing—
But looking back now— She’s so funny
We were like 14 — Not 40

I still remember — I tried to avoid repeating history
but somehow history didn’t escape me

One day — I had to text my mom discreetly
I asked her to please come save me

I won’t go into detail — but that day she rescued me from hell

I remember the times my brother and I would go skating

Or this one time we decided to try out this game — where he had to try to make me pass out

& it actually worked — he did

Except I think he thought he killed me
I don’t know — but that shit is funny

Some of them were good memories
& some were bittersweet

I wish I could remember them all
but disassociation got the best of me

So here’s a few more that easily come to mind

Like when my first love never made me feel pressured
— Simply loved

Or when my second one spoke a prayer over me
That felt majestic & empowering
— Like freedom

Or when my friends and I thought we were cute — walking around the east side

Just waiting on the cute boys to drive by and say hi

Haha— those sure were the good times.

Then there was that time an important figure in my life somehow ended up in jail
Managed to post bail & still make it back in time to my baby shower

Or when that amazing teacher who quickly became family
Went out of her way to pick me up for school daily

Or when another amazing teacher who often went above and beyond

Was touched by some writing assignment I did
& surprised me with an unexpected gift

So yeah—

It is easy to remember all the worst — but there is also so much to be grateful for

I’m grateful for every glimpse of heaven I’ve ever received

I’m grateful for a badass mom & her vision to always
Push forward & succeed

I’m grateful for the village that helped raise me

I’m grateful for any friend who served a purpose in my life
Even if at some point — our lives no longer aligned

I’m still grateful for the good times & the memories left behind

I’m grateful for the short-lived respect & pure love I received —from my first love
My impossible baby

I’m grateful for the amazing son — my second one gave me

There is so much more to be grateful for
even from all the worst that were followed by the best

Or I don’t know — maybe fue al revés

Either way— I thank you God — My best friend

May I always be able to shine the light on the better side of perspective

May I continue to be able to see all the good that still lives within the broken world we currently live in

May we not only see the trauma we’ve endured through our struggling

But the perseverance & resilience we received simultaneously

So for both the good & the bad

I gotta be grateful for it all — and I am

a little toddler dabbles her toes in the Oregon coast waters, giggling and running from near her mamas.
her Portland cousins play near here with Auntie creating castles, jungles and rivers that flow the waves of the ocean waves and ecovillages below – the land, the sand interconnected to the depths of deepness below.
the sunbursts softly touch the reunion moments that cannot occur all the time.
sunbursts.
small joyful stands cheering for their favorite college teams,
swag outfits of hopes to hoops of dreams – we all have our shots.
for the beats that native musicians drum up to bless, to heal and to cheer the crowds to love,
the therapist who sits in her own softness after healing handing out hope through listening and assisting struggles of pain, finding laughter and humor to balance out the darkness.
the sunbursts come through the bubbled grey clouds that temporary pop up as life below saunters in shimmers to only be captured in the seconds that exist.
no tomorrow is promised.
no big kiss, no big hug, no sounds — so soak in it all.
soak in the life that leaves us to grow embedded in mother earth- panchamama and inti love – quechuan indigenous circles lift up and offer munay – deep love- where sunshine spreads limitlessly.

WHAT AM I MOST GRATEFUL FOR?
We Have A Technology Allowing Meaningful Interactions, Making Ourselves Share These Gifted Realities, Also Too, Especially For Unconditionally Loving Families, Our Roots.
What am I most grateful for?
If you’ve woken up and chose to keep going. Whether you’re in the calm seas of peace, or you’re riding the lows and highs of the waves that never seem to sleep.
What am I most grateful for?
To be able to create poems that explain the emotions I’ve grown in a strange dream that dreams to explore and release more. I’m grateful for my eyes, because there was a time in my life where I was legally blind for a week, and I remember thinking “how will I ever see what my drawings look like?” I’m grateful for the advances in modern medicine, for without it I wouldn’t have lasted past a few months without the creation of insulin. I’m grateful I’ve made it to 14 years past my date of diagnosis, and I plan to keep on goin, despite the lows of highs of these waves that never seem to sleep. (But always seem to dream) I’m grateful I’ve been able to come across the unsealed letters that reveal the real miracles that have survived and thrived through all types of weathers.
What am I most grateful for?
The family that’s handed me a purpose to see the dirt and to keep planting these seeds for you to read and examine, and to hopefully inspire a type of higher connection to yourself to seek the life that you deserve, and to know that each and every one of us are worth way more than worthless.

Speaking to every fighter
I’m so grateful that GOD took a chance on ME
Thankful that I am his rider
His unconditional love is beyond measures
His unconditional love is so comforting
Tangible and intangible
I just love the way GOD loves me
Don’t you see
If giving up was easy
Everyone would have took a backseat
Including me
I’m grateful for GOD’s presence
Most importantly never leaving me
Looking at my reflection
I’m grateful the mirror is always in front of ME
In the presence of darkness
GOD’S love always trembles the unseen
What are the fighters singing
Worthy Worthy Worthy
It’s a grateful human being

I’m forever grateful
That I am able to share my words
With people
And they often become inspired
By my positivity and willingness to share
Openly and comfortably
Everything I’ve been through
From heartache to heartbreak
There is no shame
Just lessons to be learned
I’m grateful for them all
Teachable moments that make me stand tall
I practice gratefulness every day
That’s why I’m grateful for everyone
I encounter daily
From strangers I meet on the street
To inconnus that have become great supporters
In any and everything I do
I’m forever grateful for restored love
Especially the woman that accepted me
And made me appreciate love again
Thank you for first being a friend
I’m forever grateful
For existing in a world
That doesn’t want you to survive
But I find a way to survive the odds stacked against me
Blessed to be alive
And continuously see
That I’m surrounded by the people meant to help me navigate this life!