Another day rises from the ground
But with a different flavor to it
A day of traveling and clearing the cluttered mind
And also creating a wonderful time

Let the special day start with eating some delicious breakfast
Food that speaks to my soul
That makes me feel whole
And inspires me to conquer the road

When the road and I meet
Some of my favorite songs and I greet
Like it’s the first time
We’re getting to know each other’s mind
As I unwind during this special time

While jamming and cruising on an unknown highway
Various historical statues and beautiful land catch my eye
Giving me a positive high
That I don’t want to end
But continue to ascend

And embrace this rare feeling
A beautiful beach awaits me
And hypnotizes my eyes
With its waves

It waves at me and says ‘’come on in’’
But, before I take my first jump
I just want to stare at its beauty
And take a million pictures of it

Then I charge to the calming water
Like a soldier ready to do battle
But only remain in the safety zone
While watching others enjoy themselves

The perfect ending to a perfect day
It would be great to have another perfect day tomorrow
If only this could become a reality.
For now, wishing and dreaming about it will surface

Sincerely,
Gerald

Dear Gerald,

Loving yourself
is like putting a warm blanket
to shield me from the brutal cold
that’s eager to enter my place
and take over my space

but my increased self-love
from above
inside my mind
reminds me
to protect the warmth
I have inside my vessel
and keep my heart alive
from those who wish harm and hate
to crush my mental state
and conquer me

like a conqueror wanting new land
to bring his/her band
to rule in sinister ways
and cause darker days
for the conquered

self-love
is a must for us all
to stand tall
in the face of adversity 
that will persist to threaten our peace
and try to cease
the love 
that we worked hard to keep
for ourselves 
and show others the way
to love themselves all-day

self-love is a non-stop process
that we must maintain to have success
in loving ourselves 
 On your self-love journey
I wish you well
so that you can have a self-love story to tell

To the songs that soothe our souls—
Birds, who give voice to the dust on butterfly wings,
that set flight to hearts that weigh more, in life,
than this human body can bring

To the women, who hold me in their arms—
Mothers whose love gives birth to all others,
their lips, dripping with truths we crave to read
in the lies of men that can’t, who weren’t made to, bleed.

To the love rising from the ashes within me,
turning dust to nectar, nourishing
petals that sprout, even through fallen leaves.

To the mind, that relentless dynamo,
that wonders, even as I slumber.

To these hips I haven’t mastered
how to shake, that I call home.

To these hardy bones
I fear to break, that I know one day
will wither away.

To these eyes, I know
take me deeper
inside

To the true me, myself, and I,
I’ve always known.

To the one who reads these words,
a reflection, a shadow

That, beneath a fruit tree
already lived and died
longer than

You, or me,
an extension of interconnection,
sparks that lead us back to one eternal flame
from which we all light, and delight,
in one another.

To the hands that type, these words
into a device that may one day enslave me

To pen and paper that cramps my hand,
an addictive catharsis that gives semblance to

This life, this foreign concept,
a system my brain can’t think itself free from,
a headache, a heartache, all at once
felt and embraced,
yet unbound.

For all of this,
I am grateful.

I am grateful for the tear stained letter full of encouragement and convince that ending my life in 2019 would have been better, landed on the ears of a mighty God.

I am grateful that the strength I gave others, ie; church mothers, displaced lovers, friends and even animals of the forest, finally showed up for me.

It held my four leaf clover. I got lucky. I guess my life really wasn’t over.

Strength, I am grateful for you, you’re one clever lover.

It wasn’t my time. I keep saying over and over.

THIS time though, it IS.

Time to accelerate life and honor every one of those wishes.
The ones that were blown from candles perched atop a thick slice of chocolate cake.
Nestled on a paper plate because who wanted to do dishes?

It’s time to collect from the wells where I tossed many a shiny penny, sometimes dimes too because everybody knows those wishes count as double and I really need them to come true.

It’s time to give myself the grace that I have granted so many.

Grateful for an anchor of a soul that rests deep within a 9 year old.
At 9 years old, He saved the souls of plenty.

Next of kin, grateful for unwavering love from a Mother whose heart is worn with worry. But she is a warrior, a protector.
A galaxy of love wrapped prayers is what I am grateful for.

Grateful for loss.
It hurts so bad at first. But the loss can be a gain with unseen wings, I now am finally starting to feel like myself again.

Grateful for the grit.
Without it, there’s so much I wouldn’t have been able to accomplish.
Not even half of it.

Grateful that I am choosing to love myself more, and the self love I poured in is opening all sorts of new doors.

In the hallways of life, I am grateful.

For the heartfelt wrongs and the astonishing rights, for the affirmations I recite before bed each night, the nourishing food that illuminates my soul like a light,the emotions I wear on my sleeve so those around me can see the real me…
I am grateful.

For everything on this planet will be alright.

Dear Unsealers,

Being grateful is something that I don’t do enough 
especially when life is rough
but when the grateful spirit enters the mind
A great wave of gratitude gives me joy inside  

There are so many things I’m grateful for 
and have me eager to see what more
 life has in store

I’m grateful every day to have another chance
and to start a new dance
I’m grateful for another day to choose
even when I have the blues

I’m grateful that I was given the blessing of life 
even though it’s filled with constant strive
I’m grateful for the life experiences that I’ve had
Some happy and some deeply sad

I’m grateful that I’m in a different place
when years ago, my head was in a different space
I’m grateful for the many connections I’ve made
some connections remained, while others faded away

I’m grateful for the achievements I’ve accomplished so far
they make me feel that it’s possible to reach the stars
And I’m grateful to be in a position to be able
to express feeling grateful

Here I am sitting across from a frothy white chocolate mocha, where the steam kisses my eyes as I close them.
I inhale a deep breath and exhale a smile, fully teethed, pearly matching the pearls given to me by my Grandmother.
Just as the camera man yells “Scene, take 1”
I am in my zone.
I gracefully let the melodies of memorized lines glide freely from my lips as my soul is soothed by just being here.
Present.
Present is not past tense. It’s intense in this moment.
I’m here.
I’m alive.
Thriving off of the very thing that helped me survive.
It’s no surprise, I am a crafter.
Carefully skilled words woven into a silk created emotional basket.
I offer up my body like the Tin Man In hopes of getting a brain. One that is settled, free and happy.
Images of what happiness feels like from within.
The inside.
The craft enlightens me.
My ideal self and the old me cross paths.
This time we share a couple of laughs.
No sympathetic whispers of fear or doubt.
The old me knows I’m filtering out the negativity that does not serve me anymore.
I prayed for days like this.
Beaming genuinely, smiling and knowing true self love and not just from afar.

My ideal self, a true star.
Each pointe representing a point where I remembered just how beautiful everybody says that I are.
I am.
Look at how high I set the bar.
For myself, I am the bar.
Top shelf.
200lbs and 2 ice cubes of something spectacular.

“Cut” Yells production.

The smile fades, the pearly whites are tucked away.
It’s not forever this time.
The next scene is left of me my eyes fixated on the display.
I am happy today.
Truly happy!
Being the star of my own show, executive producing and achieving goals.
I am doing everything on last year’s wish list and now creating a new list of wins.
My ideal self is wealthy.
Not in the form of currency, currently the wealth comes with residuals results of good health.
Ideally I worked really hard on this scene.

“It’s a wrap for today”

But this happiness is continuously.

I sat there.
I never would have came to this place if it wasn’t for a saving grace.
I sat there.
I watched the glares form an unruly silence around the room.
Unfamiliar territory looms, the expectations are loud too.
I sat there.
I felt doom come take the empty seat next to me at the bar. I figured they too wanted a drink.
Scotch.
Neat.
I twirled the lone hanging string of my dress hoping they wouldn’t call on me.
Fragile.
Placing my name down on paper. Second to last place is where I signed the waiver.
I should eat.
A lite snack should calm the waves of my mind sea.
You see, I was told to focus on one centered area of the room, something only I can see.
Bustling busy sentences are heard from those around me.
The crowd responds wildly.
Snaps,claps and the occasional “ooh wee” .
Not like the free and cheerful sounds of children on merry-go-rounds, swings, the glide of the slide you know monkey bar things.
My name is almost up next.
My hands are complex. Tucked in.Resting in it’s own apartment. My feet tapping to the saxophonist beat. My mind, wandering circles around me.
Did I eat?
Where’s my purse?
Oh… Right here duh! Laying across me. It’s a cute little thing. A light blue bag, bare from any words, logos, or brand.
Hmm… Kinda like me.
“And up next we have Ms. Gie”
Gosh I’m not ready.
I counted the names. How’d they get to me so quickly?
A daze.
I look around,the claps and unknown smiles invade my privacy.
I’m uneasy.
Do I start off by saying “I get nervous doing these types of things?”
Out of my comfort zone. Well outta my league.
I’m up to bat.
Stand tall. Plaster a smile at least.
YOU wanted this.
Remember?
This is your YES year.
Push yourself graciously.
Conquer some fears.
Fear number 1. Public speaking.
What am I thinking?
I can’t do this.
These people are expecting greatness. Words that fly off the lips cold like a Winter’s kiss. Not a ball of nervousness.
Nervousness.
She’s here, plucking fabric from the hem of her dress.
Stressed.
Why did I even sign the list?
My hands ball into a fist.
I rehearsed at home for weeks and now this?
It’s not them it’s me. I just wanted to do something differently.
Find my voice.
I breathe.
Inhale positivity.
I speak.

This is for anyone struggling with stage fright, public speaking, or general anxiety. You are not alone. Being in a shell, secluded from the world was my comfort zone. I felt I could control my world better. I was slightly wrong. One of the first steps are to breathe. Reaffirm yourself as many times as you need and rearrange the steps that help you step, speak and live abundantly.

Dear Gerald,
If there’s one lesson you’ve learned in all the years you’ve been on this Earth, is that you were worthy of respect all along. 

You knew deep inside your heart since you were little that you desired to be respected like a lot of your peers, family members, teachers, celebrities, and authority figures who you saw had a lot of respect, like the Reverends and Pastors you grew up watching preaching in a few Baptist churches. 

But respect was rare in your early journey. Not a lot of people shared your deep belief that you were worthy of respect. You were undermined, dismissed, and belittled just for existing how you wanted to exist. 

That soft-spoken sensitive soul just wanted to enjoy being comfortable in his own skin. But the troublemakers refuse to let that happen. 

These experiences of disrespect created doubt & inner demons that you would wrestle with throughout your teens and early 20s, while you tried to figure out who you were and where you fit in a microwave world. 

The inner demons desperately wanted to take you out and celebrate victory. But, something made you keep fighting, because you didn’t want them to win the war. 

Today in 2023, you still stand, feeling stronger than ever. Plus, you can say without hesitation that not only are you worthy of respect, but that anything less than the respect you expect is unacceptable. 

The disrespect you’ve endured throughout your life taught you that respect for self is imperative -  because without it, other people will disrespect you if they have the chance to. 

You’re worthy of respect because you’ve always strived to be a respectable person in a sincere way. The road wasn’t easy to achieve that. But you went through the fire to know what’s acceptable and what’s not when it comes to how you want people to treat you. 

You give people a chance to show why they should be respected and to see if you should respect them. If they failed the test, then they failed your class. 

You’ve learned repeatedly that respect should flow both ways between two people (or more) who appreciate each other. If respect is only flowing one way, the person who isn’t being respected must demonstrate self-love by removing themselves completely from that person. 

It can be a challenge at times to say that we’re worthy of respect if we rarely receive respect from others. But when we have people who care about us and show us how respect for ourselves should look, we can say what’s true in our hearts, that we’re worthy of respect too.

Sincerely,
Gerald