Heaven has gain another angel….

A few months ago, Mitsu was diagnosed with anemia, which resulted in a low count of white and red blood cells. He was prescribed medicine to take every day to help his blood cells function properly, and it worked for a short period of time. However, a new diagnosis was given on May 2nd, 2024, when he was found to be suffering from cancer, kidney failure, and a high temperature. Unfortunately, the doctor informed us that there is nothing more they can do to help him. My family and I are taking care of him every day, feeding him through a tube since he has lost the ability to eat and drink water. We are doing everything in our power to help him, spending as much time with him as we can. He is a fighter and has been holding on for almost a week now. May 5th,2024 at 5:00 pm my baby has passed away and joined GOD I’m happy you’re in a better place and not suffering anymore inshallah we will meet again meri jaan. We will miss you, you may not be here physically but emotionally and mentally you are. May Allah bless you always my baby we love you. You were treated by the best doctors I know because the minute they saw you they got ready to put ultrasound, heartbeat mintor in 2.5 seconds they knew tried their best to save you. Me and your grandma were willingly to pay whatever amount to give you the best treatment but you picked your head up and called out mama whenever we were talking to the doctors you knew it your time. Heart beat going up and down and temperature going higher, lower and then GOD called you, me and your grandma screamed I’m sure you heard our screams and cries saying, “not him not now,” I told you to let go whispered in your ear who knew you listened and let go. The doctors took you to another room and we saw tears coming out your eyes and the door opening up wide we knew you were leaving. The house will be empty without your meows. Me and our family will miss you babyboy youll always be our baby and never replaced by another. Your ashes will be here with us forever. I’ll always remember you calling out mama, following me to the bathroom always, bumping your head on my hand for cuddles, always stealing food. Your bird and fish siblings will miss you too, tell mitu your bird sister hello for me tell her even after many years I still miss her your my baby always and forever my black cat. Your cat siblings annie, milo, selena have lost their brother but promise me to look out for them from up in the clouds, stars, sun, moon never stop looking after us either we will miss you meri jaan always and forever never ever forgotten. Hope you visit in my dreams and thoughts always. Thank you for all the smiles, laughs, meows, you cured so much in our household anxiety, depression, sadness you made it all happy who knew cats were a miracle and my black cat was our lucky clover. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to take care of you and giving you all the love and care and even after your gone ill still be your cat mom. O Allah, ease upon him his matters, and make light for him whatever comes hereafter, and honor him with your meeting and make that which he has gone to better than that which he came out from.

Bismillah

May Jannah be a safe place for you

Dear Uncle Eric,
I’ve talked to you a lot the past few years. Your picture hangs up above my electric junction box; my boyfriend and I split custody of your comic book collection.

Sometimes I flash back to those summers when I was kid when you’d walk up the street toward my grandmother’s house, sporting that toothy smile and that dingy Superman shirt.

Ironically, in some ways I feel closer to you now than when you were alive. If I had to choose, though, I’d have you back beside me in a second.

I want to start off by saying, I’m sorry. When you got sick, you tried to reach out. You tried to call. I kept avoiding those calls, and you probably died thinking I didn’t want to speak to you. Or maybe you knew, on some level, that I loved you with all my heart, that I’ve always thought of you as a father. I’ll never know either way, and it breaks my heart and part of me hates myself for not picking up the damn phone.

I don’t hate myself all the time for that–I want you to know that. Only sometimes, and not for very long. Regret is ultimately a waste of time.

I could bemoan the fleeting time we had together, regret never calling you Dad… or I could feel blessed. I do feel blessed. You gave me a whole world, Eric. You gave me comic books and superheroes, Peter Parker and Clark Kent. You gave me Smallville, you gave me X-Men, you gave me all those summers of adventures in Boston, seeing Spiderman in theaters together. You gave me thirty years of listening, empathizing, without any judgment whatsoever. I say this without a hint of doubt–other adults in my life clothed me, fed me, paid for a decent chunk of my college education… but you gave me more than those adults ever did.

For one thing, you didn’t beat me, or scream at me, or throw things at me, or blame me for the family being broken. You didn’t steal from me, call me a faggot when I came out, or tell me I was an evil person.

You saw me. You saw the real me. You saw the light in me, and you nurtured it. That light shines now, bright as the sun, because of YOU.

You taught me how to be a hero, just by being one yourself. You taught me how to be kind to others, even when the world is nothing but cruel. You taught me to show forgiveness where a lesser man might show retribution. Most of all you taught me that those who cause pain, are weak. Those who love and protect others, are the strongest of us, the very best of us.

For that, and so much more, you are, and always will be

My hero.

I need you, I’m scared
The man who I thought was my father
Was only my Dad.
I knew too-right from wrong
But God is my Father,
And He is strong!
He’s not like my Dad though,
Yet, some similarities you know?
How is your Mom?
Is she still alive?
I wish to your place again
I could run and hide.
As kids and friends
Billy I was never perverted
Some scary stranger…
Wrecked my life.
And then he laughed about it
40 years later
How’s that a joke?
I don’t know.
But I’m better now,
I’m a child of the King!
And in 4 trillion more years…
I’ll still be!
Like prejudiced people used to say in school,
Calling some a wanna’ be
Except my wants changed.
I want to be a man of God,
I want to be good
I sure wish I could.
But I’m gonna try to learn how!
I miss you so bad
You were the first best friend I had.
My best friend now-since “1996”
Is the coolest!
His name is Mike
He’s from Cleveland
I’ve even prayed and cried over him.
I want him to go to heaven!
You better be there when I get home,
I want you to meet him.
I wish I had not
Brought you smoke.
I want to be buried under it.
You were like an exception
Dad would let me out.
He must had liked you too.
Sometimes I think
I haven’t changed much inside…
But I have! Hey,
I know you remember Scoot,
He told me what happened, at the bar
When he cried. Billy, I wish you never died!

Hi my name is
Nah that’s way too formal.

Hey wassup it’s ya girl
What am I a radio personality?

Hi. I’m LaShae.

Wait. Yeah that
That feels comfortable.

Hi. I’m LaShae.
La like the note
Shae like the butter.
And I’m
. . .
Blank

God says,
I am that I am
But if I said it
Would it be blasphemous?
Even if I am?
Because I am that I am
And
I am Joy.
I am Smile.
Brittany said it was creepy
That I smiled so much
But Brittany didn’t know
I hurt the same ways she did.
She didn’t know my smile
Was as much a resistance
As it was for her to get out of bed some mornings
She didn’t know
I kept my smile because
Tracy loved my smile.
Tracy loved my smile!
She said it was the most genuine smile she’s ever seen
Which is the best compliment
Because her smile
Was the most genuine I’ve ever seen.

I am peace
Except when I am hungry
And I am always hungry
Beware of Junior’s warning
You better feed that gal;
I am gal.
As sister says,
When hungry,
I am Hulk;
I am pitbull.
Ya girl just likes to eat
But when I am fed,
I promise
I will be peace
Like Mable taught me to be
Peace:
Not the absence of violence,
But the presence of Justice.
So if no Justice
No peace.
I am starving
Pitbull for peace
Ready to Hulk smash oppression
See, Mable
Mable was a child
When Newark went up in flames
See
You don’t watch your home go ablaze
And end up staying the same
No
You arm yourself
Yes, with the whole armor of God
Like your mother taught you
But also
With a thicker skin
That none of this heat can penetrate
And with a weapon
She chose a pen
Much mightier than a sword
Her ink writing for peace
Not the absence of violence
But the presence of Justice
Her ink filled with the blood spilled in her streets
And then she would come to teach
All the little children, and yes, even me
That the power is in connections
That is what Mable taught to me.

Barbara taught me to hold my own.
Pete told me Fret Not
But Pray if you feel alone
Latierra and Ricky
Both taught me to wonder
And Serena taught me
That dancing is greater than pain
Ali taught me God will find you
Even if you’re in the dark.
I never met Maurice,
But his love is always in my heart.
Ulysses taught me always learn first
And Davey taught me to dress my best
Even when they do their worst
Ron & Vette taught me to be loud
Lisa and Al taught me love knows no bounds
Dog taught me to keep my friends close
Mo taught me that royalty
Can come from a crack that bloomed a rose
And Holis, God rest his soul,
May not be blood
But taught me what a man ought to be

I know you asked about me
But I am an unfinished story
The moral of my life
Isn’t complete
But I am that I am
And I am pieces of
Every person I ever lost
A puzzle
Amassing to one lone thought:
Love.

2922 days, 417 weeks, 96 months,
the 8 long years it’s taken for me to know you,
was this born of hate?
is that why i find myself as resentful as i am?
i could never be numb to you,
i could never be apathetic to you,
i could never feel nothing for you,

hate or love,
hate or love,
hate or love,
and i can’t understand what’s in between,

there’s a house stoic hill,
woodland lonesome edelweiss,
just as you’d like
to which i arise,
to which you descend,
i dream about when i’m in the snow,

the house lives and breathes when i could feel the grass on my feet,
i heard you sing through a window ajar,
songs of seraphina,
you are the indescribable view of beauty,

as i open the front door to let myself in i kick the glue from my boots that keep me in place,
i step into rot and decay.
i feel the candles extinguish as i walk past,
i hear the weeping angles,
i smell the cankerous taxidermy,
my hands freeze from the arctic bite of the door handle as i let myself open to discover the indescribable,
asphyxiating from my ring you wear on your neck,
bleeding from my bite on your shoulder,
pale deficient from the dying sun,
the discord that drips from the welt of monstrosity,
why won’t god keep it out my head?
vomit inducing horror i would sooner be blind than see
disgusting shape of unknowable inhumanity,
emotion formed action,
building mountains on your skin,
you moan in pain from knowledge of thyself
but was it me who clipped your wings?

GRIEF
By. Kristina Gregson
Grief is a hard feeling to explain.
One does not truly know what to expect, until they are actually going through the pain.
The pain in the pit of your inner being.
The ache in your heart, feels like it could stop beating.
Your whole body aches with pain, leaving one feeling so drained.
Right down to the blood that flows through your veins.
A hurt, an ache, that can only be described as deep deep sorrow.
One that you know you will still have when you wake tomorrow.
The feeling of loss, the wish I would haves,
The wish I could haves, the wish I should haves,
That feeling of so much wasted time, that could have been spent with better rhythm and rhyme.
More smilies, more hugs, more laughter, more love.
More calls, more talks, maybe even a walk,
More dinners together, more special times.
That is what you wish when your loved one has ran out of time.

I normally pre-mate poems with pen and paper But, this cannot wait any longer or later. Your words truly have pierced mine, and I remember surly the same state of mind. So, I will simply type on this phone my friend, even though it might not have another end. Sitting alone here on a 5 corner square, I look and see nothing in the middle of nowhere I will re-read your note that was truly wrote- From eyes of faucet water-in these tears I float. Though there’s no end at all to this telephone line, Emotions they do crawl from your heart to mine. Surly an addiction at the bottom of Erie’s Lake- I had no problem fixing every high I had to make. I would want to write to you from the bottom where it comes, But I don’t know if that is true, when mind games are so dumb. Nor has any heart bore but only similar strings, Unless one is ripped apart-it’s just not right it seems. I just cannot believe there’s people out there like me, Nor do I ever think I’m any better you see For God has made different all human existence, Yet we’re all still sinners so full of resistance And the very best thing that came from covid disease… Is the simple quote that had the note, “Please”. Now we clearly see, “We are all in this together”… In the same boat-(as light as a feather)… Is the message of Salvation for the world to live forever! The basis of a Christian is not a perfect life, It’s more of who’s been missing-but been found by Jesus Christ! It is that of progress and not of perfection… It’s a brand new spirit that with God has made connection! Jesus promised all that whosoever will… On Himself may call-that He’ll save forever still! All the talents and gifts He gave to express Of how it’s always Him to pull us out of our mess. And to lead the way over glassy seas to shore My dear friend I pray-may this heart get to yours.

Dear Grandpa,
It’s been 11 years snice you’ve gone. I can still remember the night being so peaceful, so still, and so cold. I remember the day we laid you to rest. The snowflakes that fell that day were the biggest ones I’ve ever seen. I wanted to be one of the few who go to carry you to your final resting place, but I watched instead as my brother, cousin, brother in law, and a few others carried you instead.

I’ll never forget when my 18th birthday rolled around and I eagerly went to the gas station and bought a can of your grizzly wintergreen chewing tobacco. I took it to you grave and had lunch with you. The sun was shining and I was happy enough even though you weren’t with me anymore.

You were my best friend. The amount of days I skipped school just to hang out with you nearly cost me my graduation. The people at school frowned upon the week I missed when you passed. Said I shouldn’t have been gone that long and that I needed to be there from then on. What was I supposed to say? Grief has no time limit and I wasn’t capable of dragging myself out of bed to go be around people who never understood me. You always did though.

I wonder what you would think of me now. Would you still be proud of me? Would you still be able to sit in silence with me and just watch the tv? Would you still be able to look me in the eyes and tell me everything was going to be ok? You were my safe place in this world and even though it has been 11 years my heart still hurts. I yearn to hear your laugh, see your smile, and feel the warmth of your hugs.

I love and miss you so much, Grandpa.

Mikaela Lauren Tick,

March 7th is your birthday. I was planning to post this on the 6th, as it would fit the theme… premature, or just because this is so hard to get through that I wanted to do it early.

Then again, it is the 6th in California, where my sister lives – who is due to give birth on the 9th.

So, who knows, she can be getting contractions as I write this! .

Hello future Weber,

For future comparison, please note: the line below details what time this sentence was written:
Sentence was completed at 9:33 pm 3.6.24 (PST)

I will see you soon!

Love,

Uncle Jakey💜

Anyway, back to the premature thing.

MLT YOU💜 ME because I was born prematurely at 1lbs 13 oz, giving me cerebral palsy – It feels really weird to be talking about myself in YOUR bday card, CONVENIENTLY weird!

Your favorite thing to do was to ASK me how I was doing and there to share all the moments with me🥲

Alright, let us get back to MYSELF🤔 I think that would make everyone happy😂

In all seriousness, you ARE at your HAPPIEST when the attention is on others. I’ll take it and run!

Our relationship iS STILL as close as ever!

I may not be able to physically hug you, but I know YOU ARE STILL HERE because I see the signs:

Whether it’s with family or things that I do, I do NOT doubt that you did not have anything to do with Lexi, finding a Jeffrey, Ryan finding a Pamela (I’m a little upset with that one because there is only one Pamela Tick, but that’s ok, Pamela’s maiden name is Katz (like Nanny Sheila’s)!

Me:
The Unsealed with LAUREN, my psychologist —who has a disability, and lost a cousin, my best friend, Mack, who I met at a special Olympics event!

In these ways, YOU ARE IMPACTING EVERYONE, ESPECIALLY ME, SHOWING ME, that love can be experienced by ANYONE, ANYWHERE, disability or not!

I would say, until we see each other next time, but I see you EVERYDAY!

Until I can give you a PHYSICAL HUG, sending all of them up into HEAVEN! That and a Black & White Cookie for Papa Donald!

Pure determination and new promises packed along with
her black t-shirt that boldly said, “Laugh More, Bitch Less.”
She was grit, she was fierce.
She wasn’t afraid to travel in an RV with her new boyfriend,
landing in Montana mountains as a young black beautiful woman -hiking on flat trails where chokecherries partied near creeks , dealing with strong winds that chapped her cheeks, and witnessing how the snow packed and spread over the land, emphasizing the mountain tops.
She was cascading to her new dreams, her first brave trip out of the family nest.
she shimmered, she shined.
if you were lucky enough to see her smile – unforgettable like Natalee and Nat King Cole singing.
that is why WHEN she went missing –
no cellphone life, no social media snapchats, we knew something was wrong .
So, us, her siblings/besties put on the song Fugees –“ Gonna Find You”
We went.

Missing women.
Missing men.
Missing kids.
MISSING YOU.
WE FOUND YOU.
MURDERED.

Pure determination, pure promises.
Shimmer and Shine.