It started with a dream.
Oh wait, I was just high, clear my mind,
and it is amazing what you’ll find
all these sober feelings, my mind is racing.
My heart is pacing
but that money I’m still chasing
It started with a dream
I can’t waste no more time.
I learned my lesson by committing my crime,
I’m ready to move on in life
and make a damn good wife
despite what anyone has to say.
I know that I can change my way
I’m left with nothing, just like zero
it’s time to be my own damn hero
Forced to feel all this emotion,
but I can’t give up cause I got devotion
time to be dedicated, fuck it
Let’s get educated
open my Bible the only thing reliable,
read about what’s expected out of me
practice good behavior and see what life can be
it started with a dream
wipe those tears and clear those fears
time to stand on my own 2 feet
and then only will my goals be meet
I got ambition in these eyes
and if you can’t see that then I apologize
and fuck you if you think otherwise
clear my mind and it is amazing what you’ll find.
Wonder if it ends with a Dream Come True!?

The devil showed up today.
Begging for me to slip.
Begging for an invite to myyy show.
Then I thought well shiit
Maybe we should make friends with not only him but our skeletons as well!
You know….the ones inside our closet
We could dance with them, learn their names, perhaps become friends!?
Then we might build the courage
to ask them to leave But at that point
We can’t ignore the demons.
Yea the ones deep inside.
In Matter of fact
Let’s invite them to coffee or even cocktails. We can discuss hard questions
liike what keeps them here!?
In the mean time we can play hide n seek with the ghosts or jahooties that like to play supernatural jokes on us!?
We can’t let them miss out on the fun
Let’s not forget the boogie man cuz you know he’s probably the most well known
and he might be the one
to call out everyone’s insecurities
Fk it we gotta call up the monsters
whether they’re hiding under our bed
or in the depths of the shadows around you.
We can maybe admit our fears or possibly conquer them by convincing ourselves we aren’t even scared in the first place.
What does a monster look like to you ?!
Is it a thing or an illusion is it human form
or animal like or maybe it’s just a concept
or a feeling?
Sounds like We gonna have a whole damn party after all these invites.
The devil himself, the skeletons, the demons, the ghosts n jahooties and the boogie man pluuuus the monsters.
Or maybe….
that’s not even a party worth hosting.
I heard of a better party
it’s thrown by joy and happiness
and their friends cheer and bliss
I bet that party has better company
we better be cautious of what invites we send out and choose wisely to what party we gonna show up to and host!!

It’s like I’ve been trying to get somewhere my whole entire life, but
hitting every red light along the way.
ITS Like my brakes go out
thousands miles too soon.
And like I burn
thru way too much gas after filling,
and I can’t even trryyy to justify
the wear n tear of the motor.
I have Been spinning my wheel
and getting nowhere
for as long as I can remember.
I’m running on fumes.
My tires are bald.
I’m one blow out away from
swerving into oncoming traffic.
My dreams are in the passenger seat
with a broken seat belt, a drunken smile,
and an empty bottle of vodka
that I haven’t gotten the courage
to throw away.
I have a green valley
of possibility in front of me.
And a mountain of regret
in my rear view mirror!
I’m hoping there is just enough
in the tank to make it to the end of this road. CRASH

Why do I cling to love?
A love that was never mine.
Why would I dream of a future?
A future that ain’t for me to picture.
Why would I create a fantasy?
A fantasy that was never born.
It leaves my heart aching
for something intangible.
Why do I cling to love,
a love that was never mine?
Time and distance can have an effect on the mind yet be completely irrelevant to the heart. The heart knows what it knows
and loves what it loves
like it has a mind of its very own.
It takes bravery to break old habits.
It takes courage to sit with your own mistakes. Growth is uncomfortable.
Why do I cling to love,
a love that was never mine?
Maybe it’s time to break the hold
on a love that was never meant
to unfold 💔

I’m hot but I like it mild
Sometimes needy, labeled the wild child.
Lucid Dreamer like the Pisces I am.
Born on the only day that’s not always there….got me questioning LIFE from the day it began! Thank you.
If you do the math I equal 55.
But I failed that subject.
Words over numbers that’s where I thrive. Trouble maker Too cool for school
but finished that shit cuz I wasn’t no fool. Babies having babies so quick to be grown. Took on that roll
I still proudly chill on that thrown.
Thank you.
My reasons to grind, a whole new light.
My Pride n joys and Proof
That I can do something right! Thank you. Welcomes more lost identity.
Still Shandi but constantly morphed,
searching for real serenity.
Somedays up somedays down,
sociable emotional, ready to get devotional. Thank you.
Spread love n laughter
maybe a people pleaser.
Make plans to break plans,
but follow thru with promises.
I write to write about all these feelings just to read them at my own leisure.
If you took a test about YOU
would you pass or fail?
Do you know what make ur own boat sail?
I won’t answer my own questions…
What if everything you have been told was wrong with you is actually everything that is right? Ok here comes the rabbit hole it’s time to say good night. Thank you!

I wrote this about my most recent battle of surviving and healing physically/mentally after my car accident. It took me LEFT
“with nothing” to realize I already have everything I need and I can say I am Thankful my God continues to prove his love for me!!

Left. Starving.
Tryin to keep my head up…while being fed up. Hard to stay UP when all you feel is down. Pushed down. All the way down.
To the Mf ground. Stuck on a marry go round. Left. Spinning. Where we stop nobody knows. Can’t afford to take no more blows. Left.
Down where the stream flows.
Saying goodbye to all my belongings.
Saying goodbye to dreams
Suddenly
Saying good riddance to the negativity. Watching my stuff float out of sight.
Still starving but can’t get fed a bite.
Left. Freezing cold with no warmth in sight.
This is where strength kicks in ready to fight. Move how you are forced to move. Wedged. Jammed. Left. Scared. Worried.
Made to believe you have luck.
How, when all I feel is stuck.
Still searching for my belongings
floating in the muck.
Maybe I wasn’t looking for my stuff after all wtf… I was left looking for more outta life.
Left. Just So I can get RIGHT.