I pray God send you back to me
I loved you before I knew you
I still love you
Stink-stink
My boo boo
I will always love you
You would have been 7 years old
Some friends tell me Happy mothers day
I smile to cover up the pain that’s inside of me
It’s hard for me to open up to explain to others what happened
I wish I knew what you would have looked like
Still wonder if you were going to be a baby boy “Legend”
Or a “Diamond” princess
I wish I knew your favorite toy
Your favorite cartoon
favorite food
favorite fruit
favorite veggie
favorite ice cream
favorite hobby
favorite color
favorite book
I know uncle Jimmy would have been your favorite uncle
Sherice & Klanice your favorite twin aunties
All I wanted was the best for you
Lead you in the right direction
I wanted you to have a father
That knew the definition of being a father
And act on it
I was so happy when I confirmed I was due 3/30/2017
But I was scared too
So I sat down and thought everything through
I rather have a child by a real man with father experience
Even with no father experience but is ready and willing to sacrifice
And do everything he can to make sure his child is well taken care of
And I was guaranteed to have a real man that had my back one hundred percent
Then I would have never had any doubts
I still look at my ultrasound picture
My body freezes up looking at my seed I was carrying
Small thing you
Sometimes as I sit and write
But yet my kid not hugging or kissing me
Or saying, “mommy I love you”
I feel so empty inside
The sorrow is so heavy
So deep
I pray God
Bring me back my princess or prince
Beautiful
Handsome
Healthy and all.

My little angel 😇 💛

Based on a true story

My sibling
Her oldest child father always gave me the creeps since i was 9 years old
I always felt awkward around this creep
I was so happy when this creep got sentence threw years in prison
I did not have to see his face for a while
My sibling accused me of having a crush
This situation is one of the reasons
My sibling and I cannot ever be sisters

1998 this creep ends up getting released from prison
My parents gave him a roof over his head
Which was the biggest mistake ever
When my sibling eyes were not looking
This creep bull dog evil eyes were watching me
When my family members were not watching this creep would stimulate his own penis with his hand
Yo cause himself to ejaculated
And would have a seductive smile on his dirty ass face
He would Peek at me through the bedroom closet door that was connected to the bathroom
This creep would watch me undress
Or when he heard the shower water turn off
And I would step out of the shower
His eyes were staring at me
I felt so violated
My freshman year in high school
I still remember
I was attending Crawford High
Living on Streamview Street
I was so afraid of going home after school
Because both of parents were working at the same time
My brother would be out running the streets with his friends
My older sibling hateful sibling would be at work or attending college
When I used to finally arrive home from school the sick creep would be laying on the dark gray living room carpet floor watching television
I would just walk straight back to my bedroom that was in the hallway on the left side from my parents bedroom
Close and lock myself inside
Put my dark beige flower couch behind my door to feel safer
And wait for family members to come home
I would even wait for my jealous sibling to come home so she can keep an eye on her demon
Flash back
I still remember this awful night like it was yesterday
I fell asleep on the same dark gray living room carpet floor
My Jada Pickett Smith set it off Bob braids
The touch of this creep filthy hands touching on my behind (butt)
While I was asleep
Froze me
I was froze like frozen cold ice
My eyes lit up
But I still did not make a move or make a sound
The whole time this creep touching me
I played asleep
I cried
After he was done touching me
I stayed laid flatly up on my stomach
On the living room floor for about a minute or two
Then finally I got up and went into my parents bedroom
Like a rabbit
I hopped into bed with my parents
Crying in my mother’s arms
I felt I lost my innocence
The sick bitch violated my freshness by touching me
But this whole situation got swept under the rug
Some family members even thought I was lying
But what will I get out of lying? Nothing
Till this day I hate this child molester
If I was told this sick ass creep got murdered
I will not have any remorse.

I want to send a message to young women that has been through the same situation do not be afraid to tell somebody, even the police. Get creeps like this off the street. If a family member choose not to believe you, do not give up talking to someone and remember you are not alone.