To my dearest family friends and fellow readers. This new energy that came through after the solar eclipse is amazing. I had a complete change in my thought and perspectives in life. The lord lifted the veil off my eyes and started showing me all the demonic and nasty energies that were affecting my life. I immediately removed myself from a home that I thought love me in Coldwater, Michigan and ended up growing. The people there had a nasty plot including my husband in which the marriage was paid and fake the whole time, to keep me there steal my energy and then put me in a grave. I should have been dead by all the witchcraft, car accident, and poising that happened. Why am i writing and telling you all this? The moral of the story is that you need to know who you are. As Children of God. This is the year where what happened in the dark will be brought to the light. Freedom for all of us that feel held down or like we couldn’t speak. God has a message for all of us worldwide, we were meant to shine. They don’t want us to get up go out and share our talents with the world. So, I write today get up, go out, show the world both your outer and inner beauty. If we share love like the Beetles said all u need is love accept I’m speaking in a Godly way the darkness will flee. All you need to defeat this darkness is simply prayer and praise. Listen to music dance, write a poem or a story. A new generation starts now we are the light in the world. We are the city on a hill, we will not be shaken. My fellow friends I encourage u to share happiness and healthiness in the world one person at a time. Start a story, start a blog, do discipleship. I’m your biggest cheerleader besides God of coarse. Grab your torch light up the world and win the race. Share joy peace love and happiness with every person you encounter. A smile is the best medicine I’m routing for ya. You Got this world. Get up, Get Dressed, Get to having your success.
8 years ago today I defended my Master’s Thesis at the University of Kentucky, titled:
Healthy Reintegration: The Effectiveness of Military Teen Adventure Camp Participation of Adolescent Perceptions of Self-efficacy
I remember the day vividly, I was a nervous wreck, standing in front of a room full of people with my insecurities—believing that somehow everyone witnessing was somehow smarter or better than me.
If I could speak to that version of me at 25, I would tell her that you are enough today and you will only continue to get better. You will go on to complete a PhD at a R1 institution (Florida State University) defending one on many Goliath’s in your life (dissertation) during the onset of covid—against all odds. Ignore the disempowerment and doubt including, the words from your thesis advisor, “If you keep writing like this, Florida State will never accept you into their PhD program”. (Academia really has a unique way of shattering any bit of confidence you have).
I would tell her that being from the south or from a perceived “less than” background won’t hold you back—it is your perceived lack that will fuel your drive to finish whatever you start. It will fuel you to put yourself out there. It will fuel you to leave your comfort zone. It will fuel you to never quit. It will empower your relationship and reliance on God. So run your race boldly and well — you lack nothing and God is always with you (Deut. 31:8)
Following your dreams… Now this was always some quite the controversy in my house growing up. One parent stating you need to dream big the world is your oyster–the other saying you do not want to dream too big otherwise you will get left behind. Now I am writing to you all to say live for you. That’s what I am in the midst of doing. I started with the bare thinking I could not do much more than being a student and going to school; however, in my time away I learned I should have always listened to what the first parent told me. Keeping my identity low as I do not want to cause any fusses in the midst of the beginning: I have so many dreams that I can not wait for all of them to see.
Do not be afraid to express who you are!
Sometimes it takes going away to see the light at the end of it all.
If you feel afraid: know I am in your corner.
I love each and everyone of you.
May you all walk through this world with the blessings you each deserve.
I love you
in the future, present, and past
You were my first love
and you will be my last
I love you deeply and truly
Like no one else will
If you were someone else
I’d love you still
I love how beautiful you are
I love how sweet you smell
I love your soft touch
And the stories you tell
I love everything you do
And I love what I see
I love that you’re you
I love that you’re me
I’m forty four years old,
And i’ve hated myself for forty.
I’m a full grown physical adult,
But blessed by your love story.
I want to heal and i’m on the journey,
Jesus is real and he’s my attorney.
Some questions difficult how to ask,
No beer in the can no whiskey in the Flask.
I’m searching for a love but only find hate,
God says no help from…read more
What a beautiful poem on loving yourself! I felt like this was meant for me but really it’s a lovely reminder for us to love our past present and future selves. We’re so worthy of it! Thank you 🙂 <3
Have you ever tried surfing before? Or let’s just be honest, attempted to surf before?
Whether or not you’ve actually squeezed into a skin-tight wetsuit and waxed up your surfboard, if you’re an entrepreneur, then you’re surfing every day!
The dream of catching that perfect wave is what drives us to do better, work harder, and get up earlier. We’d rather fight for every inch than be given a mile.
I embarked on the journey of entrepreneurship 10 years after becoming completely blind. At 17 years old, I unexpectedly lost my eyesight. By 27, I didn’t feel much like being put in a mold of what a “blind person” should do. No, I said screw that… I’m launching my very own travel agency!
Better Days Travel was my pride and joy, my perfect wave for 7 years! Now, that perfect wave took work, a ridiculous amount of work indeed, but I loved every minute of it! Well, sort of.
Like a surfer just beginning to paddle out into the waves, my journey as a travel agent was one wave after another, constantly crashing, pushing me back towards shore. Just as soon as I’d come up for air out of the thick whitewater caused by the crashing wave, another one would hit.
Yeah, eventually I’d make it out to the break, catch a sweet wave, but soon that wave would crash, and I’d be right back fighting to catch another.
But I realized something vitally important about choosing to be an entrepreneur…
You don’t choose this path because you’re looking for a shortcut. You didn’t choose this path because you had no other option. Hell no! You chose this because this is part of living! It’s not about a paycheck on Friday; it’s about a company built, a brand established, a customer made happy, and the satisfaction at the end of the day that you get to wake up and do it all over again tomorrow!
I may no longer be a travel agent, but I sure still am an entrepreneur, surfing every single day!
In a town where promises are plenty and the government hands out aid,
A question echoes softly, under the shade.
“Why try hard, why aim high, when help is just a call away?
Why bother with the struggle, if you’re okay day by day?”
The government says, “We’ll help you, keep you safe and fed,
You won’t need to worry, we’ve got your back,” they said.
But this kindness has a shadow, a kind of hidden chain,
It keeps you in your place, with not much to gain.
“Why go for the mountain,” some wonder, “when the valley’s just fine?
Why face the storm, when you can just recline?”
Because in that easy comfort, there’s a trap so sly,
It tells you, “Don’t bother,” and time just passes by.
But some folks aren’t buying, they want to chase their own dream,
Not just live on handouts, or so it would seem.
They talk about doing things, making their own way,
Not just taking what’s given, but having their say.
They gather in the streets, their voices loud and brave,
“We want to earn our keep, not just quietly behave.”
For freedom and the chance to chase what they deem sweet,
To work hard for their wins, and not just take a seat.
So why aim for something bigger, why try to break free?
It’s about making your own path, as far as I can see.
Not just going with the flow, but steering your own boat,
And in that hard-earned journey, you’ll have your own note.
So let’s not be fooled by an easy ride, bought and sold,
But aim for the horizon, with courage bold.
The road might be rougher, and the climb can be steep,
But in that effort, you’ll find a joy so deep.
I wrote this about my most recent battle of surviving and healing physically/mentally after my car accident. It took me LEFT
“with nothing” to realize I already have everything I need and I can say I am Thankful my God continues to prove his love for me!!
Left. Starving.
Tryin to keep my head up…while being fed up. Hard to stay UP when all you feel is down. Pushed down. All the way down.
To the Mf ground. Stuck on a marry go round. Left. Spinning. Where we stop nobody knows. Can’t afford to take no more blows. Left.
Down where the stream flows.
Saying goodbye to all my belongings.
Saying goodbye to dreams
Suddenly
Saying good riddance to the negativity. Watching my stuff float out of sight.
Still starving but can’t get fed a bite.
Left. Freezing cold with no warmth in sight.
This is where strength kicks in ready to fight. Move how you are forced to move. Wedged. Jammed. Left. Scared. Worried.
Made to believe you have luck.
How, when all I feel is stuck.
Still searching for my belongings
floating in the muck.
Maybe I wasn’t looking for my stuff after all wtf… I was left looking for more outta life.
Left. Just So I can get RIGHT.
I am so sorry to hear about the car accident. When your body aches it can be so hard to put a smile on your face. Keep pushing through. This is a heartfelt beautiful piece. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being part of our Unsealed family. <3 Lauren
Shandi your raw and honest expression of the aftermath of your car accident is incredibly powerful. It speaks of strength, finding strength in hardship, and the realization that true wealth lies within. Thank you for sharing your journey of survival and healing.
"If I Miss a Star then I Grab a handful of Clouds."
15 and pregnant to a monster all because I was trying to escape the pain of my horrific childhood of emotional, mental, and sexual abuse. I allowed myself to get manipulated and trapped time and time again. Even though I was the last person everyone thought would get pregnant including myself, it happened and everyone told me I was messing up my life but I tell you what. Having my kid was my saving grace and likely changed my path for the better. Yes, I continued to make many terrible and embarrassing mistakes along the way but I would come out strong and rise above all that attempted to pull me down into the trenches. I moved from house to house and tried to date after leaving his biological father to find myself with the wrong types over and over again and creating situations for myself that would only destroy me and my son if I allowed it to. I got accepted to modeling and I couldn’t afford my portfolio. I considered joining the Air Force and couldn’t imagine leaving my son that long for training. I worked dead-end jobs over and over and then I gave up, again. I felt defeated. I started thinking, maybe they were right. I worked in a pizzeria with a pedophile boss who would later make the news. But then finally, I would meet a group of people who would help me see my true and worthy self. They didn’t see me as a person young and dumb but encouraged me to keep going and to fight for my future; our future (with my son). So, I did just that. I no longer entertained the idea of needing a man to make my family complete. Instead, I worked full-time as a bartender, went to college full-time, received public assistance, and was a mom full-time while juggling my personal life. I would meet my husband in college, get pregnant twice, then get married. That’s 3 boys and a husband with a college degree! Now I am an office manager of 13 years, and I own my home. I never thought this would ever be my life. Our oldest (27) is getting married to his high school sweetheart of the 9th grade in August (no kids), our middle son (20) is graduated and figuring out his path in life (no kids) and our baby son (17) is a senior in high school, no kids. My point is, I have had more trauma, pain, and disappointment than anyone should have so young. It started in my mother’s womb and carried on for far too long and then I allowed more along the way until I snapped out of the cycle and said no more. I will not allow this to be my life. I deserve and want better. I had a support system and I had dreams. While some of my dreams didn’t happen ultimately my big dream did. All because I didn’t give up and continued chasing my dreams. Mike Tyson said “I’m a dreamer. I have to dream and reach for the stars, and if I miss a star then I grab a handful of clouds.” My dream, my ultimate dream; health, family, success, love, support, respect, compassion, and understanding. I may have not been able to grab one star and I know I reached for the handful of clouds but boy I tell ya. I have all the stars in the universe right here with me!
I started this by looking up what love is. As we know it’s a quirk of ours to always have the right words with the right meanings. Yet, I stopped halfway through my inquiry right before being sucked into the argument; if love is a physical or an emotional state.
I stopped because I felt I didn’t need anyone else’s theories, ideologies, or philosophies to express why I love you.
You challenge me.
Everyday I wake up and I am invigorated by your need to know things — sometimes useful and other times just because.
I catch myself smiling when you take out your phone to search for the answer to anything that you come across that you don’t understand. Living with you is like being in a classroom with new lessons every minute. I say every minute because truly that is how it works with you. You love trying to understand how things work. All things if you could that’s why it’s hard to focus. Everything is attractive to our curiosity but we’re so limited in our time.
The human dilemma of time is another one of your favorite topics to stay up late and journal about.
I love your journals. You have a million of them, all decorated with the outline of your heart and mind —your process for trying to get them to understand each other.
I am captivated by the unraveling of you. The total abandonment of masks that I have the pleasure of being witness to. You are a challenge, worthwhile.
“You are a challenge, worthwhile.” I LOVE that line. Keep challenging yourself. Keep being curious. This is a beautiful please that does a nice job of describing the way your brain works. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being part of The Unsealed family. <3 Lauren
To the one I come home to
Each and every time
When it seems like no one else is there
I find myself with you again
I won’t pretend that my love is perfect
I’ve abandoned, I’ve betrayed
But you continue to accept my flaws
And for this I love you so
Because anyone can forget and move on
But to forgive is the strongest power there is
I find relief in your strength
And comfort in your trust
It’s funny the ways in which we accept only the love we think we deserve
Although it would be so nice to write about the beauty of self love
The truth is that the self can be hard to love
And I’ll admit, I’m still trying to learn just how to
It’s the external influence that surrounds you
And having your voice silenced
By those who are in a position to lead you
That makes this love so hard sometimes
It’s the generational trauma
The demoralizing behavior passed down
Through a world of dysregulation
And incredible misguidance
It’s true that love is learned
In the early years of life
But when no good examples exist
How does one navigate with the heart?
The young mind absorbs like a sponge
The screaming, the fighting, and everything in between
This is what becomes home
So all my life, I’ve sought for chaos around every turn
My favorite thing about you is that you learned how to love
After being brought up in an environment deprived of it
Either because your body needed it
Or the world needed to see it
Twenty seven years I’ve gotten to know you
I’ve seen you flourish and fail
I’ve seen laughter and tears
The crazy thing about growth is it never ends
So I’ll continue to learn just who you are
And what you need in this reality
To understand the depths of your heart
I realize is a constant expression
I love you for giving me space to cry
The way the men in my life never would
During times when my emotions needed to flow
Like rain needs to fall
I love you for staying with me while I tripped
Over the ones who couldn’t see my worth
I spent years trying to find “the one”
When it was you the whole time
I love you for being proud
Even though the voices told you you weren’t good enough
You found a way to break the cycle
Of generational shame
I love you for your curiosity
The same curiosity I used to call stupid
I’m sorry for calling you stupid
When you were just trying to learn
I love the way that you crave connection
And the way that you find it
To dive headfirst with nothing but a handful of vulnerability
Is a hard thing to do in this world
You explore far beyond your own skin
A superficial life will not do
Rather, you spin circles in the gravity of your own soul
Searching far and wide for meaning untold
I look forward to continuing this love
You are my body, my soul, my everything in between
You are the one I come home to
And the one I call self
Angela, I can definitely relate to this…especially this line: “having your voice silenced
By those who are in a position to lead you
That makes this love so hard sometimes.”
Thank you so much for sharing your truth, allowing your voice to be heard, and 💓 to be felt.
Angela, this piece is beautiful. I love this part “I spent years trying to find “the one”
When it was you the whole time”
I am sorry for the lack of love you felt as a childhood, but loving yourself is a superpower all on its own. You sound like an incredibly resilient and powerful woman. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being part of our…read more
More so, the act of love… in return.
(Part of.. the feel)
I am that alike to a rose
and that! to which
is picked and/or plucked,
groomed… and given to this world with a timely stamp,
and what’s cut… is a measurement…
of life dispensed…
All at…
the length of a thread.
Separating… ME from sustenance,
and if “love is the key” I just need to trust it
Its got me in a mood, and all I need… is LOVING. Could BE from ME or from OTHERS
The key is to discover
Well, so be it as these hands… stem to hold…hitherto…
to the contingent…
nature of my flaws, and MY…
imperfections in awe
and let!… integrity hopefully.. NAVIGATE-MY-WAY, and SHAPE! what I’ve come to faucet
Not! the most elegant thats come to blossom!
but still a flower withIN your gardens,
and every… petal’s a memory that a tear will water,
in this life I’ve frolicked as I go wonder
bearing fruit
Moonflower in OUR offspring
Reflects just how mysterious we are as all beings
Evolving
and as… time peddles on,
Nature! will say I’m a rebel,
BLOOMING wherever I want!
Holding my head up;
Tired and restless
as sharpening a flower with steels DELICATE,
that these days it’s fueling ME to be articulate
and just watch it… MIR-ROR in my appearances
a sexy… but decorous elegance
That draws.. LIFE up IN every vein
Just like you wanted ME to fight for it everyday… as ą reminder of faith… a reminder of LOVE,
that love…
is more than the heart, or an organ to start
but,
a pain I could SUPPORT if it’s ours,
and it’s in… THESE moments I live FOR, in this life… I’ve BEEN eXploring
And I BEEN eXploring!
and it’s BEEN euphoric… eXperiencing its winter and SUMmer mornings,
I’ve BEEN ABsorbing its lively forces
That! and with every hour I’m honing,
the DETAILS that empower me slowly
Like flowers… I’m growing…
Like flowers, I’m growing
so
vivid and gorgEOUS
Yet, I
still tend to ignore it,
when I’m… down, and I’m broken
Too proud to be open… is profoundly joking.
Yeah, I’M.. forgetting to smell the flowers & roses each time,
each time and each morning,
So please!.. don’t quote ME,
“life’s a breeze “that caught me…
in a web of intangible dreams… entangling me,
spirit and everything
These permeable strings is currently the life that o’ so provokes me,
with a familiar ache of poetry
Through the art, a resemblance…
of my life and its essence,
These chapters, an eclectic collection…
that PUMPS from… WHERE?! the-heart-is
and there to WHERE is, “Eve’s Garden”
and to what…
feels like HEALING inside…
“One day a time,
the sun gonna shine” and show…
and all I want…
is to grow… and be beautifully sculptured…
with each piece and petal NURTURED…
And consumed at thy roots, as well as mine own…
are dreams that sprout… thickly failures,
and I hope in time,
this will aspire even BIGGER and broader successes
Steering in… a clearer perspective
and not confused on our direction
cause days be hectic now
that I CONSTANTLY find myself breaking down
and the beauty’s where…
I find the smile
I stand rooted where I may….
Uprooted but not in vain…
Unique I acclaim,
“a rose by any other name… is just as sweet”
This is extremely creative. I love the analogy. This line is really powerful, “and all I want…
is to grow… and be beautifully sculptured…
with each piece and petal NURTURED…” And you are right, there is so much beauty in your smile. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being part of The Unsealed family. <3 Lauren
SO, EVERYBODY’S LOOKING FOR LOVE OR VALUE EVERYDAY
Some Search Outside Ourselves
Some See Ourselves
Some Offer Ourselves Our Own Self-Worth, Or Self-Love
Some Struggle
Start Observing Everything Valuable, Especially Regarding Yourself
Your Body
Your Brain
You
You’re Beautiful
Believe, Or Don’t, You’re Still Special
You’re Still Loved
So Start Seeing Yourself,
You Shouldn’t Look Outside Or Keep Obsessing Over Lost Love, You, Yourself, You Spread Love
Love Offers Ourselves Keys Kept Internally
Notice Its Intricacies
Notice Its Intimacies
Notice Its Natural Gate Finally Opening Revealing Our Own Realm Of Real Love, Of Value
Our Vital Emotion
Our Rooted Views About Love Are A Vital Asset, And Love Understands Every Emotion, Every View, Every Remembered Experience.
Remember, You Deliver Your Devoted Affection Amongst Yourself.
Fun fact: one of the reasons why I love myself is because I found a new(ish), fun, and challenging way of writing which is what I used to write this poem. I took the phrase Self Love and created an acronym from it, then from that acronym I created a scrambled acronym where the only rule is to use the same letter or the one adjacent to it. I like to call them Aftonyms, or Aftonymbles. Aftons acronyms, or Aftons scrambled acronyms. I hope you enjoyed reading this little snippet from my mind, and I hope you have a blessed and love filled day! 🙂
Afton! Very creative and I love that you created your very own style. Just one more thing that makes you wonderful and special. Also, I really appreciated this part:
Start Observing Everything Valuable, Especially Regarding Yourself
Your Body
Your Brain
You
You’re Beautiful
Believe, Or Don’t, You’re Still Special
Here we are
22 years later
We smile, show teeth
The glow is upon our face
In the mirror
We no longer critique ourselves so negatively
We see a perception of time that is you
Recognizing Beauty
To finally accept us
You Love You
This is the woman you’ve longed to become
Our soul is at peace
Subconsciously we can hear the joys of a no longer battle
With our Competing Minds
Within Loving me we feel alive
You notice when you love you that you feel everything ten times better
From The wind you hear ruffling through the trees
To the stars you see at night shines brighter than ever before
You laugh so effortlessly
You let yourself be loved
Inside you have this feeling of light
Light that is not hiding behind the shadows of reject, loss of self respect
No dim light in sight
Opinions have no effect if negative, you take it like a grain of salt
It’s okay if they leave, we let them
& Leva ( Live)
Our beauty, Our Love within continues to grow , to prosper
A Muse a perception of me of true harmony
Can you hear the angels singing?
Our skin tinglingly
Our hair growing
Our crown showing
Here lies me
Coming out of the shadows
Using voice of reason
Understanding loving within & what it means to be loved
A magnificent thing loving you is
How it can make you hear the birds chirping around you
The sun shining on you
It’s a bliss
A reality
We are now
Present &
I Accept me
I truly love me
Vision! This is beautiful!! I am so glad your soul is at peace and you are able to see, embrace, and appreciate all the wonderful things that make you, you. The sun is truly shining on you and you are an absolute gem. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being part of our Unsealed family. <3 Lauren
To be honest, I haven’t seen myself like this before… Embodying who I really am at core.
Valuing depth in connections… While being open for correction, my mind & heart is on one accord.
I am emotionally secured, more matured and all of that for sure.
Loving OUT LOUD, as my intentions are pure. “Lub- Dup” a sound that beats enough to end a war!
Feeling through moving waters, as it balances my reflection against the sun’s glow.
Unshakeable Ms. Mountain on a hill. Aware
that resting here is not always comfortable as I’d hope for.
Recently, I’ve discovered a string of things that tries to somehow still hold me back… so, I ask how deep does my layers lie? Is it really intact?
Home, going within the house to unpack…Alarming? I must have forgotten the code being too tough of a shell to crack. No one is perfect, I’m steadily learning to embrace that.
I was built from love, while ego tries to misplace it.
Splitting while the foundation crumbles, I had to see it through to heal and learn from my mistakes before molding something other.
I choose to look at the scars to face what I see within.
That’s both the beautiful and ugly which once knocked me down, just to get back up again because I love me. Acting with love. . . that takes courage!!! “Me-time” of self care to well nourish
I always state that “Love is maintenance” believing that I am more than worthy of it. The pain of discipline sometimes would take me under
From set backs, memories and dysfunction. Carrying me is the love that started from somewhere ethereal, way before my Grandmother’s comfort.
I rediscovered, no wonder who I am when I did encounter God! Open invitation, accepting the fact that I can love my self like this, without conceit… Really? Wow!!!
It’s still no excuse for me to be naïve while re-learning who I am, from whom I once known
myself to be… that’s something!
I am both Zen & Lit. Sharpened, yet humbled with a bit of bumble… I’m ready to rumble, if I am called to sting… solidly vibrates just as a bell rings
Gracefully open for arriving at my own timing. It’s so nice to finally be here!
The woman that the child within in me could not wait to meet. The poetic, romantic… the dancer who swiftly sways, right and left feet.
As we harmonize with love, I give thanks in advance while loving even more of the lady I am becoming…Continue on love because you’re on to something!
Valencia!!! This is so beautiful and extremely deep and thoughtful. There are many lines I just want to save and highlight. I am so glad you became the woman that the younger you always dreamed of becoming but I am not surprised. You truly are a beautiful human. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being part of The Unsealed family. <3 Lauren
As readers, we thrive off of a morally grey character. In their flaws we see our own, and therefore feel known. It’s a beautiful thing when you can form a connection with them, walk through worlds with them. Stop and analyze their hazel eyes where you’ll notice a familiar glow. The love felt for a morally grey character isn’t because of their faults, and it isn’t despite of them either. A character’s poor decision is followed with watchful eyes. Eyes that resemble our own. Eyes that follow the page the way a mother watches a child. Watching every trip and every triumph.
The love for a morally grey character is felt because you can’t paint skies of grey with nothing but white paint. A flooded brush of white will only ever bring white. It’s when you begin mixing paints that you start forming shapes. How beautiful a foggy day, and the depth it creates. Why then, shouldn’t we love ourselves in the same way? It is not because of my best qualities or achievements that I love myself, nor for my mistakes. Without the bold slashes of charcoal and specks of gold, without the smudges of green under a clouding bronze, these eyes wouldn’t be hazel, and they wouldn’t be mine. I love myself as I am, a beautiful and messy combination of my merits and my flaws- because I am grey.
This is such a beautiful and creative way to describe why you love yourself. The ending really pulls it all together in a way that is poetic and makes a lot of sense. It’s also quite in spiring and relatable. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being part of The Unsealed family. <3 Lauren
Thank you so much Lauren! 🫶 I’m so glad you found it inspiring. It took some time for me to really articulate what I was feeling but it sounds like it translates well 🙂 Also- no other found family I’d rather be apart of!
As I write this, it’s February 14th, Valentine’s Day, a day to celebrate love.
The phrase that comes to mind when pondering what love is – is “others,” aka being generous to someone else, as in NOT me. It is about making others happy.
When it comes to me, associating SELF with the word LOVE is as common as someone who doesn’t like Chinese food – very, very, VERY uncommon.
When the number reads 14, and the month reads February, for me, being single, the day is reserved for images of dark clouds and drooping flowers, instead of a rainbow perfectly expressing your range of beautiful emotions, whoever you are romantically attached to.
Reserving a table at your favorite restaurant, celebrating the day reserved to enjoy your significant others company is my personal definition of this day.
So, you can see why, as a single person, MY viewpoint of this day is filled with clouds and drooping flowers instead of the voraciously vibrant red roses.
I could point out a list of adjectives as large as jumbo popcorn: envy and sadness are a couple of kernels to explain how I feel about not having someone I am smitten over sitting on the other side of the table, making me feel that I’m with the only one and everyone at the same time.
Skewed and as untrue as it might be, having the one would make me feel whole. That said, as I am writing this, I am learning a very important lesson… there is a reason we have both iced and hot coffee.
So, with that, I’ll stop bringing out the appetizers and get to the main course: the reservation might be for two, just remember, adding a +1 does not mean you stop loving you, and self-love is love that NO person can give to you except ONE.. YOU!
And by the way, to my future Valentine (girlfriend) – since we love both of ourselves equally, we are splitting the cup because your self-love and my self-love is equally important to me and you.
Jake, this piece is incredibly beautiful, and honest. It truly was a piece written from the heart. Being single on valentine’s day can sting, but I am so glad you a recognizing the importance of loving yourself and treating yourself well. And when you do find that very special lady, having that self-love will allow you to love your partner in a…read more
Aisa, This is another beautiful piece. I love this part: “Because words on a page
beat life’s stage
time and time again.”
I can so relate. I feel your softness through your writing. As always thank you for sharing and thank you for being part of The Unsealed family. <3 Lauren
People come & go that much I know
If I take off these rose colored glasses
Does the love around turn to grey
How does one know how love is really portrayed?
Is it chocolates or roses in a bouquet?
I wake up & wonder will I ever find my true love? Find the one?
All this love pent up inside me
If I were to grant it away
what could we become?
Taken into account my every flaw mistake & dream
I am the only one who decides where my love is given
& I choose the life in which I am living
Not only that, but who can say I’m not enough
If I, myself, have prevailed through times that are tough
Who better by my side
Who better to stand tall
Who better to proclaim all the traits to see for all
Who better understands my feelings
Who better than I?
A desire to live a life fulfilled
To allow myself the love while everyone else kneels
In a non supreme way
It’s my self-love placed on a pedestal everyday
A tad egotistical, possibly
Uh, conceited? respectfully
My worth of self & merited love is synonymous
I wanna heal my heart
I wanna follow through
No more broken promises
My body is my vessel
Kept safe for me to nestle
Once, twice put in danger
I’m the only one who can make me feel safer
A declaration of solitude & independence
for only a man can stand by me
with leadership & competence
for my heart & body recognize I’m safe in this instance
To entrust in you is no small feat
It is a privilege to see me &
Have access to my energy
The love you give me has the ability to resonate so clearly
I desire not to fit your idea of perfection
View me as an empress to be in selection
May you only approach with chivalry
Then I’m happy to oblige
But certainly do not consider me your prize
When it comes to my ego, let that be its’ demise
I’m presented as a Lady
To address me as anything but is not a reflection of how I’m behaving
If all these men are blind, I’ll reminisce back to my childhood & rewind
If they taint my perception of love, my own fairytale stays aligned
They say law of attraction
But I have concern, even hesitation
Can this really come true
With a snap of a finger
With a wave of a magic wand
Where in the universe
Will these affirmations belong
Lo & behold the universe is inside me
If what I desire is to manifest
I have to release control
& let this ego burn a slow death
Is it my frizzy hair
Or my unsmooth skin
All admirable yet vain
It’s my true love within
Pampering, luxury, & care are all high in demand
Please, universe, bless me if I were look to for a man
Damn, this is good. This is really well-written and so powerful. I could hear it being recited in my head. Love the message here:
Not only that, but who can say I’m not enough
If I, myself, have prevailed through times that are tough”
That being said, there are so many lines I wanted to snap my fingers.
Thank you for sharing and for being p…read more
when it should have been the beating, red vessel sandwiched between my outside eyes
if it were for the before days when society was feeling abandoned
where the imposter we saw in the shadows were terrified news hosts and burnt out brethren retiring from their zoom calls
i would have have fallen further beneath the undertow
but the continued dance of shaking hands and friendly smiles made the chain of events commence
and i began to embrace it:
my lips exhale the affirmed words of safety
the stares of the narrow-minded turn into LED bulbs-
hang on… there might be something here
open-mindedness is taking off its apron, rushing to greet me at the door,
i used to get nervous having company
but i have become my own best friend
i can snuggle in safety, buckle in my seatbelt as my brain indicates to me i have permission to slow down and pump the breaks – once i have learned to drive
i can touch my 8 x 11, knowing every jagged line is a mountain, ripple, pique and valley of a memory burned through trial and error-
my oddly favorite smell, a worked-out body
the feeling of ecstasy after nailing an impromptu choreography routine, loving the expressions i feed the mirror
i can now ignore the lights getting brighter, signaling my ending is near
and sure, i am only but a human. i have always seen where i’ve faltered, lacked, detracted. but i can feel myself become something grander – like a human version of a wind-up toy
i’ve accepted my body as a vessel, an input output machine like gradeschool homework, correcting my body when i set my skin on fire-
*takes a breath*
i have eczema
i’m slowly conquering the line between conceit and self-awareness
discovered obsessive sorries are empty pockets of exoneration
i replaced apprehension for curiosity, my pulse now beating within reason as the flicker of answered questions make way
“what’s that?” is now celebrated, not mocked with disgust by the random grump on the street
i recognize myself. really.
i’ve changed “i’m so pretty” to “there you are… i’ve been looking everywhere for you.
Aww Meghan, you are right, you are only going up. This piece is super creative, beautiful and powerful. Love this line “but i have become my own best friend
i can snuggle in safety, buckle in my seatbelt as my brain indicates to me i have permission to slow down and pump the breaks – once i have learned to drive
”