To the one I come home to
Each and every time
When it seems like no one else is there
I find myself with you again

I won’t pretend that my love is perfect
I’ve abandoned, I’ve betrayed
But you continue to accept my flaws
And for this I love you so

Because anyone can forget and move on
But to forgive is the strongest power there is
I find relief in your strength
And comfort in your trust

It’s funny the ways in which we accept only the love we think we deserve
Although it would be so nice to write about the beauty of self love
The truth is that the self can be hard to love
And I’ll admit, I’m still trying to learn just how to

It’s the external influence that surrounds you
And having your voice silenced
By those who are in a position to lead you
That makes this love so hard sometimes

It’s the generational trauma
The demoralizing behavior passed down
Through a world of dysregulation
And incredible misguidance

It’s true that love is learned
In the early years of life
But when no good examples exist
How does one navigate with the heart?

The young mind absorbs like a sponge
The screaming, the fighting, and everything in between
This is what becomes home
So all my life, I’ve sought for chaos around every turn

My favorite thing about you is that you learned how to love
After being brought up in an environment deprived of it
Either because your body needed it
Or the world needed to see it

Twenty seven years I’ve gotten to know you
I’ve seen you flourish and fail
I’ve seen laughter and tears
The crazy thing about growth is it never ends

So I’ll continue to learn just who you are
And what you need in this reality
To understand the depths of your heart
I realize is a constant expression

I love you for giving me space to cry
The way the men in my life never would
During times when my emotions needed to flow
Like rain needs to fall

I love you for staying with me while I tripped
Over the ones who couldn’t see my worth
I spent years trying to find “the one”
When it was you the whole time

I love you for being proud
Even though the voices told you you weren’t good enough
You found a way to break the cycle
Of generational shame

I love you for your curiosity
The same curiosity I used to call stupid
I’m sorry for calling you stupid
When you were just trying to learn

I love the way that you crave connection
And the way that you find it
To dive headfirst with nothing but a handful of vulnerability
Is a hard thing to do in this world

You explore far beyond your own skin
A superficial life will not do
Rather, you spin circles in the gravity of your own soul
Searching far and wide for meaning untold

I look forward to continuing this love
You are my body, my soul, my everything in between
You are the one I come home to
And the one I call self