Every once in a while your heart is awakened
Someone or something makes it smile
For a moment it feels brave & comes out to play
It abandons all of its armor
Embracing the euphoria of deep meaningful
human connection
Time goes on & it gives with no restriction
Its warm and free
Grateful and happy
Then one day you change
You treat my heart differently
My heart shuts off
It loses its luster and warmth
It fades its red vibrant color into a cold, gloomy, black, and blue ball
It walks and walks until it can find shelter…alone
Away from the pain and sadness
“Im just looking for shelter, relief, and protection” it murmurs to itself as it saunters away from the glowing light/life it once knew
It keeps walking…wandering around for a safe place to go
It finds a cave
A private cave
“No one will look here”
It diverts from its wandering path into the cave
The cave is dark and isolated
But there’s a bolder in front of its entrance that permits light to come in once removed
The heart takes a rest on the cave’s walls
It strikes a match on the wall and holds it
Sobbing uncontrollably
For hours and hours and hours
It does think
It doesn’t speak
It just releases
Everything
The heart blows out the match, falling to its side it falls asleep
At 5am the heart wakes, greets the morning
Sun-rays are peaking past the large bolder blocking the entrance…protecting the heart
The heart embraces the traces of light but refuses to go out and play
Day in and day out
Every night the heart prays for guidance, release, and peace
The heart focuses on self control and not speaking
The heart spends hours dreaming, planning, visualizing and investing in a better future
The heart is in isolation so it begins to heal
Tiny pieces of it…day by day
The heart is focused on protecting itself
Day in and day out the sun shine creeps its way into the cave
Comforting the cold heart with its warmth
Then one day the heart says….

(…To be continued)

When the world goes to sleep
And I am left awake
With my lonely thoughts
And subtle, soft heartbreak
I can only breathe
And readjust myself
To the passing of time
A picture on a shelf
Non sum qualis eram
Maybe something more
Who I left behind
Is running out the door
Nothing lasts forever
A former life was I
Not solid on the ground
Nor between the earth and sky
In this newfound skin
Is a person I’m not yet
A new soul has been given
But my blood has not been let
Hope, it takes a hold
Persistence is the key
Of learning my new world
And everything in me
So with these hands I pray
For a new life to begin
There’s nothing I can do
But to love myself within

Because God loved me 1st-And I’m not of any less worth
My God is no respecter of persons-And He loves healing my hurting.
I love me because I’m trying-As I’m crying to care…
My Great God has made me beautiful-the person in the mirror!
I may have some good qualities instilled in me,
But the best-is alone time with God-on some humble knees.
I chose to love myself-though seems to me none else can,
So, I put God 1st, then the others, finally at last I stand!
I witness to people-telling them how much God loves them,
For all practical purposes-I’m reminded of love, over and over again!
God must see me special-He died for my soul to live,
Sitting patient through many lectures my earthly father had to give.
I love me because I’m not a robot, that cannot return the love,
It’s a free gift the Master Gave-Super, Sufficient enough!
I’m looking deep, staring into-the bottom of my heart,
And see the reason, steep to love-every brand-new day’s start!
I love me because I can love everyone else,
Even if they did me wrong-there’s no reason to not love myself!
Yes, writing this down brings tears to mine eyes,
So, learning to smile by overcoming frowns-is such a lovely surprise!
God sure does instruct me well-in His Word divine…
I love me by loving my wife-in sincere lowliness of mind.
I love me from emotions and feelings-that have become real,
I love me cause I’m sober, and love the souls-from all you at “The Unsealed”!
I love me because I see my mistakes, and when I make them-my heart breaks,
And because I’m not leading people astray-but point to Jesus who is The Way!
As Yes, I chose always wisely to learn, from all my dumb mistakes.
I love me for my friend-on this paper is how I pray…
This ink from my pen, will never run out-it just bleeds in a good way!
I love me because I love God, and have figured out-He hates me not,
I love me because I’m bought with His blood-that cleanses my sin a lot!
I’m loving myself because I’ve felt, and know the truth from lies-
Especially because this inside love-is finally leaving my past behind!!!
I love me because God has great plans for me…
And so, I let Jesus drive-and sit in the passenger’s seat!
Also, I love what it means to “be human”,
Living and growing, and returning loves sway…
And I am (through this poem)
Making “loving myself” a new practice every day!

Good for burdens to be done!

Thank You-The Unsealed,
Much Love-Timothy
4-4-24

Happiness is homemade. Dancing through the night, heart aflame like fireworks that never fade. “ For every minute you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness”-Ralph Waldo Emerson. You do not realize you are a lucky man. Thank you for your casual security. It’s not too late to change. Tired of you playing games. It’s no good to play when everyone is at war with you don’t have a single mate. No take over yourself when the feelings start to fade. You are not alone at the end of the day. When you think you got it all all the days I wished you stayed however, you misbehaved. Good things come to those who wait. The greatest of all that tomorrow does not forget to grow a heart like those. And you don’t have to give up time because you don’t get saved. It’s not worth it to lose your way. I’ll keep dancing through heartbreak, knowing joy will soon awake. I will find the strength I need to mend and remake. The times you thought were it wasn’t good enough for you to lose a break.

Happiness or sadness is the only way to do what you can to survive in. With a heart full of joy, I’ll fly and never give in. Doesn’t matter who you are trying to kid. Never give up on the spark within, let it shine! Don’t let anything stand in your way in a world of darkness. Sometimes when life brings you down, You gotta let go when you feel like it’s over. I am here to follow where the wind blows. Remember about the life you chose. I’ll chase the happiness let my heart flow. Just hold on tight to your dreams overdose on reality. Your dreams are your own lows. Highs and lows, my heart will always be in control. Trying to believe in a god that no one knows. I know I am only human but, I know I can be better than that. There’s a lot to be learned and that you are gonna get through it. Forget your worries and your doubts. Don’t you know you are worth it. My only desire is to be with you, even if you don’t deserve it. Find the light within, let it ignite and never quit. I just wanna be the best thing you ever had I never meant to hurt you. I don’t wanna be the one to make you mad. I’ll make you smile until your heart is no longer sad. Because we need another chance to make it right. When our souls are made of glass. No more despair and sorrow.

Oh, we need to dance in a new romance. Hold my hand and rest your head so you can relax. It’s time to stand up in our tracks. Find the joy that never lacks and forget about the past otherwise, our love will collapse. Be proud of what you are running from. Keep on pushing on its pulling us in but, we can’t relax. We could be the kings and queens of anything if we believe we can be happy but, we don’t know where to go. Let your heart guide you, find the joy in every beat. Then we will know that we are free. We could let our feelings show if we believe that this is meant to be. We can find our way home. We will make it through the storm. And the world will be ours where happy days are all we know. Peace will come and life will flow allowing new hopes to come. The time has come for you to see things that will be done. Open up your heart and let the love overcome so we become one. Make a new start until we reach another day. Fill up your empty cups. Stop blaming others, no more useless excuses. You can’t be walking around in a daze when the walls are caving in. You can’t rely on others for happiness. Create it on your own. Celebrate each moment, let joy be freely sown. Life is a game do what you want to do. Let the music get you through in the morning. You got the world in a spin. Let the day begin brightening. Don’t let the future get you down. Spread your wings and let your heart take flight dazzlingly. Sometimes it’s hard to see but, happiness is here to stay.

Do you think that I’m alone?
Do you think that I’m unique?
Do you think that I’m the only addict,
with a good heart underneath?
Look beyond the drugs,
the sores and the blisters…
We’re mothers, we’re fathers,
we’re brothers, and sisters.
It may be hard to see,
I know you can’t tell.
Cause I was there too,
and we hide it so well.
The addiction takes over,
and you watch them disappear.
Into another world,
like the other side of the mirror.
But there is a way out,
They can become so much more, you see!
A lesser travelled path,
That we call “Recovery”.
It’s not an easy road,
and many won’t even try.
Unless they reach the point of change,
some will use until they die.
So next time you see that junkie,
or that drunkard on the street.
Pray that they get better,
That, God they finally meet.
Because I am not alone,
and I am not unique.
I am just another junkie,
Who got back up on his feet.

Let’s toast to HAPPINESS, ever true, In every moment, a treasure anew.
In love’s warm glow and faith’s steady cue,
We celebrate the beauty in me and you.
With glasses raised to skies of blue,
Where dreams take flight and hopes renew.
In every smile, a rainbow’s hue,
We find the magic in me and you.
In laughter shared and tears embraced,
In tender whispers and souls so brave.
In every challenge, a chance to chase,
The joy of living, in every space.
So here’s to HAPPINESS, let it bloom,
In every heart, dispelling gloom.
In love’s embrace, we find our groove,
To dance in joy, amidst life’s tune.
With gratitude, we lift our voice,
To celebrate life’s freedom of choice.
In every heartbeat, we soak up life,
For in each other, we find our strength to fly.

They mean my daily chore-home work.
They mean my daily release-from drugs.
God, I want them so bad-But can’t…
These things mean-my sanity.

Ears ring loud-Alone.
None but Jesus-knows.
God, I tempt You not-but why?
Dids’t Thou not take me-long ago?

Still flying sober-how?
Dost Thou hold my tears-when?
Will they stop, could they ever-Be
Worth anything-to Thee?

I will write a poem-And fly.
I’ll crash down-Goodbye.
Can say words-no meaning heart?
Words kill-I’ve seen,
Through the light of another’s dream.

Was a nightmare-for both.
How can life and death-Be so close?
Walking in the Spirit…Live.
Walking after the flesh…Death.

Let God direct your steps.
Acknowledge Him every chance you get!
He will give beyond belief
Be humble and watch Him uplift.
God, I don’t know what will kill me first…
Mine own poor choices,
Or the source of a heart-attacks worth.

How much more?

My heart is just a doormat
Please come in and stomp your feet
Please lie to me, it sounds so sweet
Don’t tell the truth-weep bitter deceit

How fun this is-wouldn’t you agree?
This old heart can take it-for One takes all
One same literally made all!
Nor did He think it bad…

But said-It is good!

It seems Jesus is in my box
I’m alone in the room with it and Him.
Broken hearted-sore troubled am I
He is the mended miracle…

I don’t let Him out to try.

Is this holding the truth in unrighteousness?
That’s not what I want despite all this.

My heart is just a doormat
Please come in and stomp away…

Poems could make a heart unbroken.

Tuesday
Sept. 12th
2023

Walking through a weary land
Behold you find the rock
May you come thirsty, but not alone
And fall broken upon this stone

Out pours the Water-giving life to your soul
Free-this Living Water, gives your heart a home!
Tis’ so good to you that you want not to return
Back to weary land-please stay close and learn.

That He was always there for you-in your lonely times
He caught your every painful fall-and kept you alive!
Please give God the glory-the Great Savior and King
He is the great Healer-and the answer to your dreams!

Please let Him change you, for you to die not
So faithful He always is-loving you a lot!
He will not point out-sins daring glare
But He covers with His blood-eternal life He shares!

He will always pardon-by His Grand Master design
Dear precious child-He is with you all the time!
He hurts so much at heart-by your troubled pain
He knows all your going through-As for you He came.

Yes-He died a horrible death-just so you’d be free
And He lives beyond a guess-please this fact believe
Please with open heart-accept His perfect love…
He will lift you so much higher-than can any given drug!

-Brought to you by the Love of Christ-

When asked my biggest fear, I close my eyes and imagine what my life would be like without you, and that moment alone is terrifying enough that I already have my answer without having to blink again. My biggest fear is having a great day, or a horrible day, and not being able to call you anymore to tell you about it. My biggest fear is needing an old favorite recipe and knowing you’re the only one who has it and now I’ve got no one to ask anymore. When the holidays come along and I don’t want any gifts but you always asked for a wish list, I’m scared I’m going to wish you were here and be sorely disappointed when you don’t come through like you always have before. Part of my job as a daughter is to open my heart up as wide as it goes and take in all the advice, stories, wisdom, and love while I can so if you leave before I do I’ll have enough to keep me going. I just don’t know if or when that day ever comes if I will know what to do, who to call, when to cry, where to fall. You have always been my roller coaster sidekick and I don’t know if I trust this ride without you. If you ask me what my biggest fear is in life, it’s having a life without you in it, mom.

Dear Unsealers,

It’s the first day of April. And that’s no fooling.

I know, I can hardly believe it either as it felt like the year was just starting five minutes ago.

But we’ve arrived at the second quarter of this year. And there’s mostly a blank slate right now. That’s the beauty of each day though, the canvas is there for creation to happen in whatever form we choose.

With that idea in mind, I welcome in the month of April:

Under the April skies
A new month begins

30 days, with a blank slate ahead
A breather after New Year’s, Valentine’s and Easter have all gone

A month where rain falls
The flowers and leaves will surely grow
Under blissful sunny skies

So will the creativity
In the midst of NaPoWriMo
The poems will come fast and furious

With a new quarter of the year on tap
Where will life go from here?

Under April skies
I’ll let the days and nights flow
From there, I’ll know where to go

International Writer’s Day
Acrostic

Internet has facilitated global connections
Never stop the growth of writers
That rend their hearts as their words flow
Empowering the weak to
Remember their worth
Never succumbing to oppression’s
Timely propagation that cleaves
Intimate family members into
Open enemity, clearly ‘Dividing & Conquering’
Needlessly aggressive, destructive,
Avid in mercilessly taking resources and
Leaving nothing to the Indigenous peoples.

Write, revel, rebel, roast, rumble the gruesome
Reality of a world built on Materialism
Instead of unity of humanity
That lends compassion and succor that
Eventually works together against the oppressor
Ruining the ecology, separating family,
Solidifying Darwin’s rules of supremacy

Dealing in strength that overpowers others
Amid illegal, inhumane practices that have
Yet to be punished.

©️ Malak kalmoni chehab ©️

A nightmare became real a few days ago
Seeing it unfold in Baltimore on Twitter X
was confirmation of its existence
Thankfully, you, and I were nowhere near it
But other humans were in the eye of a storm
A storm they didn’t see coming
A storm they never thought would come to pass
A storm they didn’t think
would be the final chapter they would see
In a dark atmosphere
The almost hero of the night
did his best to hold himself up
But the boat’s power that glided in his path
was too much for him to handle
His strength quickly dissipated into nothingness
and finally collapsed into cold and dark waters
along with the people he tried to save
It’s a sad situation
seeing events like this affecting the human nation
It’s another reminder to appreciate life
And to live it with all our might.

Dear Unsealers,

The 25th of March is Cerebral Palsy Awareness Day. And the month of March is Cerebral Palsy Awareness Month in the United States.

It hasn’t been easy to say that I have cerebral palsy. As it was so present in the years that I grew up, it almost became the whole story of who I was. But I’ve come around and accepted the fact that CP is a part of my life. Yet, it’s only one part of the larger story that’s still being written to this very day.

I’m more than the challenges present, and the same goes for everyone in the community in their own ways.

I’ve written something in honor of the day:

National Cerebral Palsy Awareness Day

On the 25th of March
An underserved community’s turn in the spotlight

I’ve had my fair share of challenges
From my eyes, my speech to my feet
But I’ve risen above all of it
To be me, a writer and traveler

CP used to be the entire story
Defined by all the limitations
Now it’s just part of the plot
Of a larger story that’s still being told

On this day and every day
A reminder to everyone…

People with Cerebral Palsy
Live lives of joy and wonder
Unbowed by the impossible

Even if things take more time to do
After all, we bring our full selves to the forefron

Birds still chirp their fucking hearts out on crap days,
Like a karaoke star who’s totally lost his way.
And flowers? They’re gatecrashing funerals with sass,
Whispering, “Was it our fucking fragrance, perhaps?”

People scatter when shit really starts to hit the fan,
Quicker than I say “fuck it” to my diet plan.
But the ride-or-dies? They stick like fucking glue,
Like that piece of gum on your shoe, never bidding adieu.

The moon’s up there, changing her damn mind,
Like me in front of the fridge, a late-night find.
So hey, give yourself a break, don’t stress the fucking phase,
We’re all just bumbling through life’s mad, crazy maze.

In the cracks and crevices, we find our fucking groove,
Dodging life’s big-ass feet, we move and we improve.
Escaping the drizzle, dodging the damn pee,
We’re the fucking misfits, making it, wild and free.

So when life feels as tough as a week-old fucking baguette,
Remember, we’re rocking this shit, no need to fret.
In this grand ol’ mess, we might seem fucking small,
But we’re damn well blooming, giving it our fucking all.

Where have you been?
My time traveling friend
You’re here in the present again

You were stuck in the past
Confused and aghast
Back then and forever in when

You are never here
Through these months and years
When is it that you go?

Sometimes it’s a loss
But my hope I won’t toss
From spring blooms to the fallen snow

But if truth should be told
And if the story unfolds
Did you change everything that you could?

For now it is now
And I don’t know how
You’d claim it to be as you would

Because the trouble with time
It only can wind
To a future that is not yet

However, with you
To the future you flew
Because time for you isn’t set

So lonely you go
A sad, sorry soul
And no one can understand you

We will meet again
My time traveling friend
In a world that to me seems so new

It’s like I’ve been trying to get somewhere my whole entire life, but
hitting every red light along the way.
ITS Like my brakes go out
thousands miles too soon.
And like I burn
thru way too much gas after filling,
and I can’t even trryyy to justify
the wear n tear of the motor.
I have Been spinning my wheel
and getting nowhere
for as long as I can remember.
I’m running on fumes.
My tires are bald.
I’m one blow out away from
swerving into oncoming traffic.
My dreams are in the passenger seat
with a broken seat belt, a drunken smile,
and an empty bottle of vodka
that I haven’t gotten the courage
to throw away.
I have a green valley
of possibility in front of me.
And a mountain of regret
in my rear view mirror!
I’m hoping there is just enough
in the tank to make it to the end of this road. CRASH

Why do I cling to love?
A love that was never mine.
Why would I dream of a future?
A future that ain’t for me to picture.
Why would I create a fantasy?
A fantasy that was never born.
It leaves my heart aching
for something intangible.
Why do I cling to love,
a love that was never mine?
Time and distance can have an effect on the mind yet be completely irrelevant to the heart. The heart knows what it knows
and loves what it loves
like it has a mind of its very own.
It takes bravery to break old habits.
It takes courage to sit with your own mistakes. Growth is uncomfortable.
Why do I cling to love,
a love that was never mine?
Maybe it’s time to break the hold
on a love that was never meant
to unfold 💔