I started taking up Ballet when I was about six years old. Despite how fleeting it was, I can still vividly recall being in school changing into my pink leotard and shoes my mom had bought me. I also remember doing a few shape and hand-movement coordination that my class had done.

Throughout most of my life, being around my family during gatherings would create space for me to dance and connect with my community while being hyped up by their cheering and smiling faces. Around my early-late adolescent years, I felt as if I was the life of the party around friends and others my age.

I was up to date on all the latest moves and bold enough to share it during dance-offs. I often would imagine myself dancing in music videos. More specifically, dancing with one of my favorite performers as I would constantly watch and mirror every move of hers.

I was no wallflower, which surprised others when they saw me move! However, at some point, all of the partying faded away. There were even no more family gatherings as we once had.

That brings me to now seeing that roughly eight years later, I would be here seriously pursuing my passion as a dancer and sharing the gift to minister light into this world. I could feel deeply within my spirit that I would to some capacity.

At 28 years old, last year in 2023, I recall being out for a meditative walk. I was a bit frustrated with where I was while living with family and not being off yet to where I initially planned to be (moving to California).

However, during that very walk, I felt intuitively led toward a Christian Center right around the corner. Everything within my spirit and surroundings allured me (the birds loudly calling in the dead of winter near the location).

The next day was a Sunday. I attended service and a few more after that. By surprise, one day I was able to see them live on stage. I was then in awe to learn that their creative arts department had a dance team.

For a brief moment, I had let fear get the best of me by telling myself “I’ll join in somewhere else here… I’ll join the poetry small group”. Undeniably, dance is a part of what makes me passionate about the flow of music and the freedom to move.

On the contrary, my previous encounter with stepping into this space did not go well!!! I was in my second semester at Western Michigan University when I had taken contemporary dance and music exploration as electives that I was excited to take.

Unfortunately, depression (which I thought would subside after winter break) was staring at me right in the face. Showing up for classes was a struggle to keep up on my main courses, let alone electives. While I was sitting in my dorm room contemplating what I would do. I had decided to drop dance.

I felt so embarrassed on my last day being there. While gliding across the floor in groups, my focus had my mind and body moving opposite from the crowd, causing me to stand out like a sore thumb.

Now, I’ve come to realize the question “If you had a second chance at this, to do anything, would you take it?” I said YES to taking a real chance this time around! I asked whomever I could to inquire about joining their CAD Department. Eventually, I was sitting in on my 1st official practice.

My 1st audition for a part felt like a stretch emotionally. I felt my spirit needing to fully “break out.” However, I still felt some resistance and energy to work through.

I was selected for the part as my potential was louder than the resistance.
Ironically, being back to living with relatives longer than I had planned had become where I have been planted to grow, be challenged to reach, and develop!!!

One year later, at age 29, I am still dancing and developing with my team at Love Life in every way. I now understand the love and support the universe has in store for me this time. It carries me while living out my fullest potential! Also, there are people who genuinely hold me accountable with the honesty and nurturing criticism needed.

I’ve danced quite a few collaborative solos. I even helped to choreograph a number as well. It seems that some callings somehow seem to call back when a time is more convenient. As for me, it’s a dial of grace called destiny.

February 2, 2024

Self-Reflection

To be honest, I haven’t seen myself like this before… Embodying who I really am at core.

Valuing depth in connections… While being open for correction, my mind & heart is on one accord.

I am emotionally secured, more matured and all of that for sure.

Loving OUT LOUD, as my intentions are pure. “Lub- Dup” a sound that beats enough to end a war!

Feeling through moving waters, as it balances my reflection against the sun’s glow.

Unshakeable Ms. Mountain on a hill. Aware

that resting here is not always comfortable as I’d hope for.

Recently, I’ve discovered a string of things that tries to somehow still hold me back… so, I ask how deep does my layers lie? Is it really intact?

Home, going within the house to unpack…Alarming? I must have forgotten the code being too tough of a shell to crack. No one is perfect, I’m steadily learning to embrace that.

I was built from love, while ego tries to misplace it.

Splitting while the foundation crumbles, I had to see it through to heal and learn from my mistakes before molding something other.

I choose to look at the scars to face what I see within.

That’s both the beautiful and ugly which once knocked me down, just to get back up again because I love me. Acting with love. . . that takes courage!!! “Me-time” of self care to well nourish

I always state that “Love is maintenance” believing that I am more than worthy of it. The pain of discipline sometimes would take me under

From set backs, memories and dysfunction. Carrying me is the love that started from somewhere ethereal, way before my Grandmother’s comfort.

I rediscovered, no wonder who I am when I did encounter God! Open invitation, accepting the fact that I can love my self like this, without conceit… Really? Wow!!!

It’s still no excuse for me to be naïve while re-learning who I am, from whom I once known

myself to be… that’s something!

I am both Zen & Lit. Sharpened, yet humbled with a bit of bumble… I’m ready to rumble, if I am called to sting… solidly vibrates just as a bell rings

Gracefully open for arriving at my own timing. It’s so nice to finally be here!

The woman that the child within in me could not wait to meet. The poetic, romantic… the dancer who swiftly sways, right and left feet.

As we harmonize with love, I give thanks in advance while loving even more of the lady I am becoming…Continue on love because you’re on to something!

Best,

-Self

I love myself cause God first loved me

I love myself because I didn’t like the old me .

I love myself because I am my longest commitment

But to love myself ain’t all rainbows and butterflies

To love myself means
to lose myself over and over again —in the process

I love myself because no one else was up for the challenge

I love myself because I wanna love you better and I can’t without it

I love myself because home should feel safe, freeing, and calming

I love myself because I don’t wanna keep on running

I love myself because I don’t need instant gratification

I love myself because I’m willing to wait and sacrifice for all things meant for me

I love myself because I owe it to myself to say goodbye to the old me

I love myself because I don’t wanna be 35, partying & hoeing

I love myself because I know what I want & I’m determined to work hard & go get it

I love myself because I can apologize when I realize of my wrong doings

I love myself because Depth — is hard to find

& Superficial — is depressing and boring

I love myself because Ik I don’t know it all
& Im willing to continue learning

I love myself because I love the world around me

I love myself because I’m humble and loving

I love myself because I want to give back & show my appreciation & gratitude to the one who
—despite my imperfections & flaws—

still chooses to love me ❤️🙏🏽

These are some of the reasons why

I love me

It’s easy — isn’t it
To look back on our life & remember all the worst
All the worst times of our life that always seem to come first

Like the first time — I experienced racism
The first time — I experienced bullying

The first time — my love was used against me
Or the first time — my heart was broken

There was a lot of first of “THE WORST”
But likewise — there were many first of the best

Like the first time — I got the job I really wanted
Or the first time — I graduated

Or the time I won my first real fight with ease
Or the first time a family member came home from jail surprising me

There’s been a lot of good moments
but I seem to have forgotten a lot of them

I’m doing my best now — to live in the present moment
—To soak it all in

Cause I know there is so much to be grateful for
—There’s always been

Like my mom choosing peace & safety over toxicity — for her children

No matter what — she never let fear stop her

She was unbelievable
She was unstoppable

She did the best she could with the hand she was dealt

Like getting that job that not only paid the bills
but also provided us with a warm free house

Or that one time she pointed out to her lawyer — how she was wrong

That was only one of the many steps she took — to obtain our freedom

I still remember the first time she met my little boyfriend

She offered to give us some money
—then suggested we go to Barnes & Noble
to drink some coffee

At the time it was so embarrassing—
But looking back now— She’s so funny
We were like 14 — Not 40

I still remember — I tried to avoid repeating history
but somehow history didn’t escape me

One day — I had to text my mom discreetly
I asked her to please come save me

I won’t go into detail — but that day she rescued me from hell

I remember the times my brother and I would go skating

Or this one time we decided to try out this game — where he had to try to make me pass out

& it actually worked — he did

Except I think he thought he killed me
I don’t know — but that shit is funny

Some of them were good memories
& some were bittersweet

I wish I could remember them all
but disassociation got the best of me

So here’s a few more that easily come to mind

Like when my first love never made me feel pressured
— Simply loved

Or when my second one spoke a prayer over me
That felt majestic & empowering
— Like freedom

Or when my friends and I thought we were cute — walking around the east side

Just waiting on the cute boys to drive by and say hi

Haha— those sure were the good times.

Then there was that time an important figure in my life somehow ended up in jail
Managed to post bail & still make it back in time to my baby shower

Or when that amazing teacher who quickly became family
Went out of her way to pick me up for school daily

Or when another amazing teacher who often went above and beyond

Was touched by some writing assignment I did
& surprised me with an unexpected gift

So yeah—

It is easy to remember all the worst — but there is also so much to be grateful for

I’m grateful for every glimpse of heaven I’ve ever received

I’m grateful for a badass mom & her vision to always
Push forward & succeed

I’m grateful for the village that helped raise me

I’m grateful for any friend who served a purpose in my life
Even if at some point — our lives no longer aligned

I’m still grateful for the good times & the memories left behind

I’m grateful for the short-lived respect & pure love I received —from my first love
My impossible baby

I’m grateful for the amazing son — my second one gave me

There is so much more to be grateful for
even from all the worst that were followed by the best

Or I don’t know — maybe fue al revés

Either way— I thank you God — My best friend

May I always be able to shine the light on the better side of perspective

May I continue to be able to see all the good that still lives within the broken world we currently live in

May we not only see the trauma we’ve endured through our struggling

But the perseverance & resilience we received simultaneously

So for both the good & the bad

I gotta be grateful for it all — and I am

……………………………….
Vision reality — Pt.1✨
Dreams VS. Vision 💭
……………………………….
Dreams to me—
are what you see when you’re asleep

Vision, is what you set goals for—
to execute & achieve

I have so many goals in mind
& I believe what the mind can see—
you can bring to life

From Vision to Reality

But There’s just this little catch though

Sometimes it feels like it works
& sometimes—it feels like it don’t

Sometimes you get to keep somethings
Sometimes you won’t

Then there’s times—
you don’t even get to have it

Unless it’s in your dreams
& not reality

I know at times its felt so real
But then it quickly disappeared
Like quick sand slippen thru your hands
On it went—to never ever land

At first it hurts so much
You question everything—including you & your self-worth

Somethings are just not meant—for you though

Sometimes it’s just wrong size—
perhaps wrong address

Or simply just—
wrong timing

Alotta times—
things tend to look all pretty & shiny ✨

So much so—
they can easily become blinding

From afar they’ll bling —
attracting anyone & anything

Just remember—things aren’t always what they seem

Sometimes the ring don’t fit
Or your body don’t accept it

Sometimes I’m allergic
& my body rejects it

But with so many options in this world
Sometimes—
Just Sometimes—
Less is more

But don’t get discouraged—
I just want you to know

Worry bout yourself & your home

Everything else will fall into place for you—along the road

……………………………….
Vision reality — Pt 2. ✨✨
2024 Goals 📝
……………………………….

So when they ask me about my 2024
This is what I wrote

I set some goals
& I could easily tell you now
but my goals aren’t for everyone to know
I would rather show you how

I rather create my master plan—
have a talk upstairs w my old man
Jot them down—
remember how

The struggle is real
but God is Realer

How—plans are a guide
But usually never—fully set in stone

Sometimes you’ll go straight ahead—
sometimes you detour

Stay on your toes—
& ready for redirection

Cause the time will come—
when plans ain’t steady

Sometimes they go south
Sometimes they’ll go North

But don’t you worry—just hold tight
& don’t let go

Keep in mind—
there is more than one way—you can go

Just hand him the wheel—let him steer
& put your blinders on—
so you can see clear

Listen up & listen close
Be careful with all that—outside noise

Sometimes his voice can be real quite
So I do my best—to quite my surroundings

Cause—
How I’m suppose to hear him talking—
while listening to—“Yo Gotti”

God be tryna reach out to me—
after me asking him to guide me

But then—
I go straight into hiding

Hiding behind memes & streams—
that contradict what he believes

Catch what I’m saying?

I’m sorry Lord—I’m trying

I know you know best—
where I am—where I’m headed
& what needs—be left—behind me

Like that one time—
I had that vision of a business
But it didn’t make it

Named it—Vision Reality
I was so hopeful & determined

I held on to the idea—for some time
Tryna not—let go of it

I paid a lot of money out of pocket
Until I couldn’t pay—no more of it

Spent months & months—working on it
Alot of frustrating late nights—
that felt like wasted time

But no time is ever wasted—
if you chose to learn—from all the unexpected lessons

I know more now—then I did back then
& perhaps that—one failed attempt
will help me—perfect the next
……………………………….
Vision reality — Pt 3. ✨✨✨
Love Note Back To You 💙
……………………………….

So when I think about 2024
& my goals I have set forth—
I write them down & plan ahead
Always keeping in mind—Remembering

I’m never fully in charge—
I’ve never been

I always wanna be in control
& I know it’s time—I learn to let go

Let go—of my so called “Master Plans”
Lay them down into—the Real Masters Hands

Let him help me quite all the noise
Take my lil social media breaks—as needed
so I can fully hear his voice

Focus on my own goals & life—
not just sit back-chillin—
watching y’all live yours

Live my life for me
Remembering—

Not everything in life—
needs to be shared
Not everyone—
needs to know everything

W so many distractions—
It can be easy to be sucked into the madness
To forget—our own goals & visions

So I take breaks—when I start to feel low or stagnant
& I revisit

Revisit my goals & pray on em’
Cause soon as I get comfortable—
i’m uncomfortable again
knowin I should—be working on the next one

So I ask him to help me—shut the world out again
& all it’s nonsense
To give me back my tunnel vision
& let me get a lil glimpse of him

To not let this world stain my lenses
cause I hate to become blind
& a prisoner of my own mind
& rob myself—of my own blessings

But when everything around me’s—
fake news
When everything is wrong—
that I once thought to be true

All this & more—can really weigh on me
& I can’t lie—it can really get depressing

So I ask my God—
for some love notes—here & there
To let me get a glimpse of heaven—
util I myself—can finally get there

So for 2024—
there’s so much—that I plan to do

Most of all—I just want to become—
less of me & more of you

I really love to brag about your love for us
Cause I wish the world knew—it’s true

But vise versa—I could never brag about MY love for you

I know I fail you—every day
Real quick tho—I just wanna say

Thank you—Lord
For your provision & my daily bread

For the day you told me

Just hold on—you won’t regret it
Trust me—I got it

Cause even though it sometimes hurts—
I’ll take it

15 yrs later—You were right
I don’t regret it

2024—is yours Lord
Show me—just what you can do

I think I’m ready now
I wanna see you move

Let’s go—Let’s get it

God,
This is My Love Note back to you

💙🙏🏽

There is no doubt that one of my favorite motivational quotes is “Be the change that you wish you see.” Herstory told, they would like to repeat it…

Like how everyday I choose to defy the odds of struggle. Abundantly filled to navigate new heights… An unshakable force of humble.

Someday they’d say “Yeah, she did talk about making change…” but I hope that they actually can see it!!!

I’d love to tell them how I did it… and that everything in life is intentionally done for a reason. I let my guards down, enough standing on defense.

I challenged the flaws, to know whatever is underneath it. Impacting the masses is the goal that I’m reaching.

Bigger than me… My life is bigger than me!!!

I am devotedly aiming towards doing the best things. Learning that all of the better things in life are not free.

I am actively working my light within my art, family, and community.

I’ve sacrificed it all, but this mission to help others involved truly helping myself to start. It shows more than something when freedom calls!

I have all the answers that I need divinely a dial away. All I have to do is let them in and say “Thank you for leading the way!”

It’s important for the picture, pouring into myself. Mixed emotional colors create art that’s good for one’s health.

Developed within trusting the process… I had no clue I’d see it like this.
In order to get clearer, I push past the resistance.

I am a leader! I choose to be the one to reach back to uplift & help other people out!!

As I reminisced about 5 cents ago, all of it did not add up… but, merely relying on money just was not enough.

I am purposeful.

I embrace this with gladness, that the shift that I vibrate while in this world is peace beyond the madness.

I’ve been feeling so defeated.
So many emotions bottled up,
Looking for a healthy way to release it.

I’ve always loved to write,
But too afraid to share the feelings I’m feeling.

Wanting to use my life to make a difference,
But I’d have to put myself out there,
For the whole world to see it.

Too afraid to lose my sense of security,
I hold on to all that I been through.
But what good is my pain,
If it’s not used to help you.

As the years pass me by,
Sometimes I feel I’ve lost my purpose.
Just when I think I’ve got it figured out,
Here comes life saying,
“Here, let me show you this.”

I have to relearn & readjust,
Every so many years,
& it’s so exhausting.

Idk whats right & what’s real,
Life tends to back out on its word & confuse me foreal.
Todays healthy, is tomorrows cancer.
Just when I think I’m headed in the right direction,
I fall off my track,
& create a new disaster.

I never knew how to love myself,
Even though I really tried.
My idea of self love backfired on me,
Time after time.

Then one day my body gave me no choice but to listen,
I was barely walking or standing & my mental health was deteriorating.

I had those thoughts we never talk bout,
Because I wasn’t living.
I was glued to my bed,
Thoughts racing day & night in my head.

I couldn’t be the mom I wanted to be,
& above all, I think that’s what broke me.
So many things combined,
Made my body explode inside.
& From there on out,
I had to say goodbye to the old me.

Day after day,
I wake up & go to bed in pain.
But I try… again & again.
Whole body screaming,
“Someone please come & heal me.”

Slowly but surely, I’m working.
Hoping to find the remedies to heal all the trauma stored in me.

I deserve more then self pity.
I’ve seen ppl worse off,
living they’re dream.

It would be so disrespectful,
Not to do all that I can,
To feel better.

I’m hurten,
but occasionally I hear that voice in my head saying, “I’m worth it.”

It’s a painfully slow progress,
But Its said, “slow & steady wins the race.”
I hear we hold within us & above us,
All the tools & strength.
Strength needed to face tomorrow,
Until you reach the day with no more sorrow.
Self healing, not self pity,
Is the motto.

My body is a powerful place,
Covered in Gods healing & grace.
& one day I shall conquer.

Dear thriving woman,

I am beyond grateful that this message has found you well!!! I knew deeply within my heart that one day you would get to read this. I would like to start off by saying THANK GOD for allowing you to still be here to experience the life that you have co-created for yourself. Valencia, I am so proud of you! How do those roses smell for you now that you finally get to accept them in full bloom? How does the fresh fruit taste from all of those seeds that you have planted?! Ha!

Undoubtedly, you have grown tremendously over these past years. After all of the adversity, triumph’s and dedication towards advancing along your path… you have come a long way. Who knew that after attempting suicide as a teen, being homeless on a few occasions (but further on learning that as long as you had family or friends to stay with, technically their home WAS your home as well), being unemployed (while still somehow being supported), and overcoming depression that it would all lead to these situations helping to shape you into the woman that I am reading this today… I’ll tell you who… You did! “God did!!!” (As the saying goes).

As you know, God did not give you anything that you could not handle. You are so very brave to press forward, bettering your circumstances. That was only just part of the fuel that has driven you to reach your fullest potential. Even as a young girl you have always felt that there was much more to life than what was being presented within your surroundings. You are one of your inner child’s biggest dreams come true! It is a blessing to have truly rediscovered your authentic self and boldly walking in that light. I thank you for making peace with your past and choosing to live without any regrets.

Look at all that you have accomplished!!! Although your upbringing has had its waves of dysfunction and unhealthy patterns that you’ve had to unlearn, you have still managed to create a beautiful family unit of your own. I recall your desire for you all to hold a healthy, supportive and nurturing connection… That part was extremely important because you knew that it was possible for you to experience! Plus, you get to do meaningful/ purposeful work as a multi-talented creative, advocate for holistic health, healing tools/services, philanthropist and motivational speaker…landing a few of your very own major events alongside your amazing team. Another thing to mention is to have traveled around the world and connected with God’s blessings in various forms (culture, land, food, etc.) It is a blessing to experience having a positively abundant life doing all the things that lights you up, it helps to light the world up!

The positive impact that you are making all over the world is beyond remarkable. It only took you one leap and many brave steps for you to know and trust that the divine was (and still very much is) backing you EVERY STEP of the way. Sheesh… girl you knew that the universe was gonna bless you with far more than you could have even imagined, so don’t act surprised!!! You are whole, healthy, successful, loving/loved unconditionally, a leader, creative, a healer, a woman of divine faith, a loving wife, mother, and mentor. All while being genuinely joyfull while being so, I may add. This is exactly what it means to embrace the journey and trusting the process towards reaching the destination.

My humble words of encouragement going forward: Never stop dreaming, (those dreams are your heart’s desires in rare form, only because it’s up to YOU to truly see them) aim high!!! Your potential is still very much unlimited. I love you!!!

“New year, new me… new goals set for 2023!” The 1st goal is checked by the fact that I have enough air within my lungs to breathe.

I am here! I make peace with the fact that 2023 is already looking up for me.

I’ve already had my vision board mapped out and told myself that “all of 2023, i’m gonna live comfortably.” I deserve it!

New goals set for 2023 and they all align with my purpose.

Did so much healing over the past few years that I’ve laid a solid foundation that’s much deeper than what lies beneath the surface.

The shedding of my tears, old habits, and fears has allowed me to align with a laser sharp focus

as it reveals all of my inner truths… I confidently speak up for those who feel hopeless.

Although, prior to now it felt like no one else could even hear me. Maybe because I didn’t fully yet hear myself… so to speak.

New goals set for 2023, I am a leader amongst my own destiny…

Mastering all that I continuously co-create. Learning more about holistic medicines to heal my ancestral lineage for goodness sake!

I’ll continue meditating and going within…

and promise to myself to continue flowing… not only just with the pen.
Faith and alignment is all that I’ll really need

because for the new goals set… the divine will make sure that I’ll continue having everything that I could ever desire, want, and need!

Living fully within each moment, I’ll approach each day gratefully.

I will continue to prioritize peace and balance. Allowing myself to grow and expand from more of life’s daily lessons.

Heavy, yet gentle on the self-care towards showing up as the highest version of myself.

Having no specific expectations… by letting it all unfold for me naturally. Praying that everything turns out even better than I could imagine it to be!

I set out to intentionally pour into my passions of inspiring others, creating, writing and dancing joyfully.

Also, remind myself to playfully explore many new exciting festivities. I’ll indulge in the various wonders of very tasteful vegan recipes.

Counting my blessings as I know that not everything in life is guaranteed.

I value to equally nurture and grow along with my loved ones. I am also open to new, yet healthy/ lasting connections because I’ve detached from most of the old ones.

Love (unconditionally), soft yet bitterly sweet, that’s the fluent language that I sacredly speak.

Claiming it all! Signed “Aligned by Seven: 2023”

Hold up! Just one last thing…

I promise myself to maximize my unlimited potential… So, here it is. 2023, the journey begins!