On various classic episodes of The Simpsons, Homer’s adventure of the week will sometimes become his lifelong dream, only for Marge to tell him that his lifelong dream was something different entirely and say that he’s already done it.

Example: In Colonel Homer (1992), Homer becomes the manager of a country/western starlet named Lurleen Lumpkin (voiced by guest actor Beverly D’Angelo) and proclaims that it’s been his lifelong dream. Marge’s retort: “Your boyhood dream was to eat the world’s biggest hoagie, and you did it at the county fair last year. Remember?”
Anyway, I bring this up because yesterday, I had my annual meeting with my home health aid and her supervisor, during which time the topic of lifelong dreams came up. I mentioned that my lifelong dream has been to attend an event at the Rose Bowl Stadium in Pasadena.

My home health aid wondered if there were any events held at that venue aside from the Rose Bowl Game on New Year’s Day, to which I mentioned that the stadium is also UCLA’s home stadium for football and that they have flea markets in the stadium parking lots every so often (according to Google, the next Rose Bowl Flea Market is scheduled to take place in March.)

Now, make no mistake: Although I want to attend an event at the Rose Bowl, by no means am I interested in attending a flea market. I want to see a game there. Every time I see a telecast of a sporting event from that stadium, it takes me back to the times I was a bright-eyed little boy watching the Rose Bowl Game on ABC with Keith Jackson on the call.

It’s my hope that one day, this lifelong dream turns into reality.

December 2, 2012. I remember this day all too well, and December 3, 2012, which is strange because I don’t remember most of my life. These two days however, are clear, vivid, like watching a movie in IMAX. A movie that haunts me to this very day.

Let’s start with December 2. Abby and I were at Granny’s. It was a Sunday afternoon, the phone rang. It was you. Mama was just arriving at Granny’s to pick us up and take us back home with her. I remember Granny asking if I wanted to talk to you, I did not. I was handed the phone, but I had nothing to say to you. I was hurt, angry, and sad. I told you I was mad at you. Mad because you left once again to go raise a child who wasn’t even your own. You left me. You left us. You said you’d be coming home for Christmas, I was happy about that, excited even. I have always been a Daddy’s girl, all I wanted was my Daddy home. Since I didn’t want to talk to you, you asked to talk to Mama. I walked the phone out to her and let y’all talk. I remember Mama smiling and laughing while speaking with you. I later found out you had asked her to marry you again. She loved you, and truthfully now looking back, she would have married you again in a heartbeat. After y’all got off the phone, Abby and I loaded up in the car with Mama and headed home. The entire ride home I was still mad, but also very excited because in a few short weeks I’d get to see you again. So I thought anyway.

December 3, 2012. Monday morning, I was awoken with my phone being taken away. I had no idea what I had done wrong for my phone to be taken, I was very confused. Mama looked like she had been crying all night. Her eyes were swollen and red. She couldn’t tell me why she took my phone from me, so being the teenager that I was, of course I was irritated. I asked her what was wrong, she said she had a toothache all night and didn’t get any sleep. I got ready for school like it was a normal day. I remember I was wearing hot pink pants, a black shirt, and black boots. We left home, the same time as usual, like we were headed to school. I would have never guessed the horrors that awaited us. We stopped at Nana’s, this was unusual, especially since we were going to be late for school at this point. I remember being so agitated because not only do I not have my phone, now I’m going to be late for school. After Nana’s, we stopped at Granny’s. Immediately I knew something was wrong. Aunt Sam’s car was in the driveway, she lived in Kentucky at this time so why was she there? Granny was sitting on the porch in her pajamas, housecoat, and slippers. We got out of the car, and Granny’s face looked just like Mama’s. Eyes red and swollen like she’d been crying all night. Now I am aware this is not another toothache. It was never a toothache.

Granny tells us to go in and sit on her bed. Abby and I do as were told, we sit on the end of her bed. Granny then proceeds to kneel down in front of us, touching the both of us with her hands, and says, “Your Daddy was in an accident, and he didn’t make it.” I finally understand why my phone was taken, why everyone’s eyes were red and swollen, why everything that morning was a bit off. My world just went black. My heart shattered. Everything inside me died that day. That is the first time I ever had thoughts of suicide. Fourteen years old, and my Daddy had died. I didn’t even get to tell him goodbye. He died thinking that I hated him. I did not get to tell him I loved him, I missed him, I just wanted him to come home. I refused to speak to him when I had the chance just hours before he departed from this world. He died not knowing how much he meant to me. After we were told of the tragedy that occurred, we had to go home and pack our bags. We were going to Illinois. The bags were packed and we headed back to Granny’s, but now Papa was home too. A sound that I will never forget, is the sound of a grown man I have never seen shed one single tear, screaming, sobbing, and wailing. The sound of him mourning his son was loud enough to hear from outside of the house. To this day I can still hear his cries.

The week following your death is a blur. I remember key moments. I remember Aunt Sam nearly killing us trying to drive to the court house. You were actually going to court to see if the child you left Tennessee for was yours. I remember staying at Silly Willy’s and everyone went to view your body, but we were not allowed to go. I remember them talking about your body being “mangled”. I remember sitting at Silly Willy’s kitchen table trying to help pick songs to play at your funeral. I remember going to pick out your casket. I remember picking out your favorite cologne to spray on you. I remember when we had your visitation in Illinois and we were the first to view you. I remember not being able to walk down the aisle, nearly falling to my knees, sobbing my eyes out. That could not be MY Daddy laying in this casket. No. Not mine. But it was. Thankfully, Aunt Sam was there to pick me up and help me walk. I remember finally leaving, and Mama was the last person to say goodbye to you. We all gave her privacy. I remember going out to eat with everyone afterward and we all took a picture with the signature Billy Gray middle finger.

We brought you back home to Tennessee, in the bed of Papa’s truck. I remember riding behind it and still not believing that you were in that casket, you were really gone. I remember burying you, six feet in the ground. You were home for Christmas that year, just not the way I had expected. I remember everything, and sometimes, I wish I didn’t.

Since you’ve been gone, it does feel like the world has stopped spinning. I died that day and I don’t think I have ever come back to life yet. In fact, everyone died. A piece of every single one of us died on December 2, 2012. Some have handled your death better than others, but nonetheless, not one of us is okay. You do not expect to bury your father as a teenager. A parent does not expect to bury their child. Siblings do not expect to bury their sibling at such a young age. Especially, when you’re completely blindsided by it.

I always sit and wonder about the “what if’s”. What if you were still alive? Would things be as bad as they are? Would I be the way that I am? Would our family be as dysfunctional as it is now? The “what if’s” and “why’s” will eat you alive if you’re not careful. I have had my fair share of being eaten alive by them. I have had to accept that I cannot change what has happened, I cannot go back in time. I just have to believe you’re still here with me, believe that you know I love you and I always have, believe that you are in a better place.

You turned the last page of your book here on earth. I will cherish that book forever, hold it tightly in my soul. This December will mark 11 years, and I miss you more than I could ever put into words. I am still my Daddy’s little girl. I always will be. You were the first man I loved, and the first to break my heart. Unfortunately, grief never goes away, time does not fade the emotions and feelings. However, it is how you deal with the grief that is the key. Truth be told, I have not handled it very well. I have cursed God’s name, lost faith in everything, spiraled into destructive habits. Lots of times just HOPING it would in some sense bring me closer to you. I am now hoping one day my world will begin to spin again, maybe life will form in the parts of me that died. I will keep trying down here on earth, remember your legacy, for I am just as hard headed and stubborn as you. In the meantime, it is what it is. I will take it day by day until we meet again. When that day comes, be prepared for a fight because you left me down here without you, tears, laughter, and most of all an abundance of love. I will never let you go.

Your little girl,

Have you ever had the pleasure of falling in love with someone you’ve never met?

It’s almost as if you have an immediate connection,
Your souls are fused together.
The pull of uncertain, certainty.
You feel everything all at once.
Your soul is content and full.
You’ve become a glutton for the love
It feels so good!
Theres butterflies signifying this spectacular moment in the timeline.

Have you ever had the pleasure of a heartbreak over someone you’ve never met?

They say the worst withdrawal is of a person.
I must say, “I agree.”
It’s almost as if you have lost a real piece of your soul
You have no autonomy over your
heart.
You crave, cry, and hate all within a
minute.
You mourn someone you’ve never even
met.

Have you ever had the pleasure of healing after a heartbreak over someone you’ve you’ve never met?

It’s almost as if you are whole again.
You carefully put each piece of your
shattered heart together
Hand gluing, welding, stitching,
and crafting it into your newest
artistry.
Looking at your newest master piece
You’re feel of all of the happy, joyful
memories you chose to keep
You’re reminded of the pain and
mourning that led to
You, whole,new & ready to love.

Note: I wrote this last New Years day. I found and re-read it yesterday and realized that in part that my prayer was answered. Some of it is still in the process of being answered.

As we close the curtain on 2022 and pull back the curtains to a bright, new you I don’t know what to expect. I couldn’t have imagined 2022 going the way it did, so please forgive my anxious anticipation, and please know that it is also mixed with an excitement and enthusiasm to reset and begin again.

I pray that I change, heal, and progress throughout the year. I pray that you teach me the lessons God knows I need to learn to be who He has created me to be. I pray that you are a gentle teacher full of compassion, kindness, “I love yous” and and “I’m sorrys.” I hope this year is full of adventures, full of laughter and love, and that it is surrounded with healthy friendships that continually call us both to excellence and holiness.

Most importantly I want to strengthen my relationship with God, to listen to his voice, to trust and rely on Him fully in every moment and to give Him everything.

I ask for protection for my………
Mind
Heart
Soul
Body
Friends
Family
Home

in the upcoming year. Deliver us Lord from every temptation, evil, danger and/or harm that the enemy could imagine. Make us holy.

2023 you have large shoes to fill. I know the Lord has given you a big purpose to fulfill. I know that the Lord is just a step ahead of me–He’s already in 2023 dealing with each trial, making a message out of a mess and guiding my footsteps. And so I dare to follow Him wholeheartedly into the unknown, into the heart of you–2023. Welcome 2023! I can’t wait to see what you have in store.

Sincerely,

I dedicate this poem to Gary and Morgan, loving partners for over 40 beautiful years. This month Gary passed away after a year long struggle with cancer, days before Morgan’s birthday and their anniversary. During his final moments, Gary only had the strength to whisper priceless words of encouragement and love to Morgan. This is a poem of hope that we will all meet again, someday, somewhere beyond this life. But in the meantime, we’ll find each other in…

WHISPERS

You’ll come to me in whispers

And you’ll visit me in dreams

I’ll awaken from your kisses

Softly lit by radiant beams

In the echos of my life

I will catch your sweetest voice

I will hear our love’s pure song

And my heart will then rejoice

I will strain my tired ear

For each whisper that you gift

As I listen most intently

In our memories I will drift

And one day your gentle whispers

Will be louder and quite clear

We’ll be standing face to face

And our love song all will hear

Within the corridors, where the echoes gradually fade
There lies a hidden torment silently made.
In the minds of those who strive and push
Exist battles that few truly recognize.

Amongst the books and academic commotion
Deep shadows lurk, a hush, in motion.
For college souls burdened and weary
Depressions hold becomes a cloak to carry.

Assignments pile up expectations soar
Yet within storms rage and hearts deeply sigh.
Smiles become faint behind veils they wear
Concealing pain that’s far from being clear.

Isolation hides within spaces grand
Loneliness conceals itself with a friendly hand.
Lost in the whirlwind of ceaseless days pace
Depression whispers its message in ways.

Craving solace amidst a crowds embrace
Unheard cries and emotions shrouded with grace.
Yearning for light to pierce through the gloom
In this labyrinth searching for a room.

Oh college hearts! Burdened and fragile you may be
Your struggles remain unseen behind your veil so free.
Know this; in darkness glimmers shall rise,
Guiding you beyond murky skies disguise.

Reach out! Let voices break through the nights hold tight
And find strength and light together as one might.
For, in shared burdens healing can be found profound
And through empathys embrace hope can truly abound.

Happy Birthday Lauren thank you for this amazing platform and community of like minded individuals wishing you continuous years of greatness and happiness🤗🫶🏾✨

Dear Lauren,

I always hoped that clicking around on social media would lead me to a community that was authentic and motivated, but safe spaces like that aren’t too common like that on the internet… Luckily, one fateful day in 2022 I saw an ad for The Unsealed. An invitation to share my story and a community to share and grow with was like a dream come true. My confidence and connection with writing has grown so much in such a short amount of time and I have to give major credit to this community. A community that wouldn’t be possible without the remarkable and inspiring expertise and humanity you, Lauren, offer to all of us.

It will take me years and novels to truly express my gratitude for this opportunity of a lifetime. The opportunity to be connected to enlightened writers and led by such a exceptional soul.

Lauren, I hope your birthday feels as special as you have made The Unsealed community feel.

Best Wishes. I can’t wait to see why you do next. ❤️

Wishing an awesome birthday to the founder of a community that has brought joy and connection to people who need it. Thank you Lauren for being that very person that chooses to help inspire others to share their stories to gain healing and strengthen others through community care. Enjoy your day! You deserve it!

Dear Lauren,

Thank you for creating this community and in turn giving us a safe space to share our stories and find strength in one another. I am new here, but I already feel so grateful for this community of people who can come together to share their experiences, their fears, and their dreams. There is something so beautiful about that level of vulnerability and connection in a community. Thank you and happy birthday! 💛

To the one who took a passion,
aligned with her soul mission,
and birthed an entire community.

You are deeply appreciated.

My journey as a poet and intuitive writer started just two short years ago and I’ve officially been a member here for 1/2 of that 🙂
I’m not sure how I found my way,
but that magic moment unlocked
a source of Brilliance
that I never dreamed possible.

That Brilliance is you
That Brilliance is this community
That Brilliance is The Unsealed
and every single action you take
to encourage new artists
to keep going.

I don’t think we take enough time to pour into you as much as you have for each of us,
so when Rick reached out for ideas
of something we could collectively give as a token of our gratitude,
all I could think is how you deserve your flowers, too 🌸

Thank you so very much for all you do.
Thank you for giving me a safe place
to express my deepest feelings with
compassion and love.

Thank you for publishing these sacred pieces of my story in not one,
but two books!
Typing that out feel like a lie
that imposter syndrome tries so hard
to force me to not believe
but it is true,
and that is all because of YOU 🙂

May this next chapter of your life
be the one where abundance comes to you with ease
where grace saturates all of your darkest days
as the angels bless you with the love and gaiety needed to stay grounded through each breakthrough.

Something tells me you are going to have a wonderful year 🙂

Happy Happy Birthday!!!!

My description of a delightful conversation that is open-minded and nonjudgmental. You can see each other’s point of view because you listen intending to listen. When starting off the dialogue, others refrain from interrupting you, allowing you to get to the point. I understand why it’s so difficult to have it with most people. The reason for that is simple: you appreciate it more when you have that delightful conversation.

I used to love reading and writing, how much emotion they expressed with the power of the written word. What’s more powerful than the written word? That would be the words that we speak; the spoken word. Words have the power to build or destroy you. When you have ill intention, then the words hurt and create chaos for the person receiving it. A delightful conversation has the power to bring in positivity and possibly people together. Some people can agree to disagree and continue on with the conversation. While others stand firm that there is only one way. There is nothing magical about having a conversation that is only one-sided.

My magical moment was joining The Unsealed, knowing that I can also transform my pain into a superpower. It inspired me to express my thoughts the only way that I knew it would be best. I had a zoom meeting with Lauren, which went amazing. She is so kindhearted, empathetic, and compassionate. I believe I cried during that zoom call. A pile of emotion from my story & to how she just listened, intending to listen, providing me with that safe space. I wanted to just pull her from the screen and give her the biggest hug.

I know everything happens for a reason and sometimes we don’t always understand why it happens. I know the reason I am writing this today and that is because it is a very special someone’s birthday 12/11. The founder of The Unsealed, who has given people a voice to be heard and listened to. To have the weekly zoom meeting and writing contest. The way you genuinely reach out to every single member. It really is a community so much so that you published books with our pieces in it! You provided a safe space for us to express ourselves and we are so grateful for that. I wish you nothing but the best for you on your special day because you deserve that and so much more. Thank you for everything you do and for allowing us to be a part of your journey. You have gathered like-minded people together and allowed us to express ourselves with the written word. You truly are one of a kind Lauren, happy solar return!

When I stumbled upon The Unsealed, my life was in a dark place. In private, I could hardly muster a smile upon my saddened face. Writing is all I wanted to do, but a few poor decisions turned my dream into a nightmare. What this world is capable of, yet rarely do people embrace, I was about to enter a writing space where miracles are made possible; a chance to erase my past mistakes. Little did I know, the miraculous woman who orchestrates miracles by encouraging people to believe in themselves, shares the same birthday as my one and only baby girl. As fate would see fit, my daughter was born on December 11, too. Isn’t this the kind of miracle that strikes you! Shocks you! Fills your heart with magic? What if told you, the day after my grandmother passed four years ago, the number I couldn’t escape was 11:11. From that day forth, I imagined my grandmother taking on the form of an angel, guiding me on my new path as a writer. To this day, I’m confidently convinced that my grandmother led me to a living angel, my dear friend, Lauren Brill. I wish you a wonderful birthday Lauren, and I hope your special day is filled with magical moments 🌷🎂🎈🎁🎉

Lauren I went through our first book, page by page and reached out to everyone that I could find.
I went through all of your tags to see everyone that was associated with the unsealed, and I got to say everyone that I was able to reach was on board with doing this.
I had a small glimpse in everyone’s lives, and your impact was always a shining moment at the epicenter. It was always something like “I can’t believe I see my name in a book!” or “I can’t believe I’m on a billboard!”
All these people who are writing your messages today they all said the same thing: that it was a wonderful idea and that they would be happy to help surprise you.
I can not thank you enough for you and the community that you lead with love.
This is me as your friend showing you my gratitude for giving us a space to share the things that we share here, you curated an environment for strangers to become friends.
I’m so proud of you and I look forward to further collaborations and I really hope that you take this to the highest level that you can. Happy birthday!

Dear Lauren,
Happy Solar Return! May this new year bring you more life, more love, more joy and more happiness! You’re a real life super heroine spreading love and encouragement for writers to keep their dreams alive.
I use the words Solar Return instead of birthday for two reasons:
1. Technically your mother birthed you. So please tell her Happy Birthday from me. 😁
2. You’re experiencing another trip around the sun in real time. I don’t know about you but for me my birthday is always an emotional time. It’s an opportunity to reflect on what I did with my time over the course of the last year. It’s also a magical time because it gives me the chance to dream a new set of memories, adventures and stories that I hope to create. I hope that in this new chapter you dare to dream bigger and louder than ever. See you soon.

Lauren, I hope that this wish (prayer) finds you well… Happiest Birthday!!! May your day be filled with pure joy & warmth!

I am honored to celebrate this special day for the amazing impact that your light is contributing within this world, just by being YOU.
I am so blessed to have found this platform last year… it has truly helped revive a part of myself that the world needs to hear and for that I THANK YOU!!!
Btw, I loveee how compassionate and such a great effective listener/ communicator you are. That goes so unnoticed.

All the best & Cheers to more life!!!