Dearest Shelle Belle,
I don’t know why you are so hard on yourself. You’re learning and moving forward making the best of each new day. It’s 1993 and you have entered into the next stages of your life. Your music selection is a wide variety of artists, which speaks volumes of who you are. As you walk down the graffiti tagged streets of Denver you hold your head high even though the environment around you feels unsafe and scary, you keep pushing forward with your dreams. These streets will never break you. You have so much to accomplish. Follow your dreams. Be your own hero. Keep moving forward. They tried to dim your light when they assaulted you, but you pushed through. You never gave in. You never gave up, and for that my friend you grew into the beautiful and amazing you. A young mom at 16, just a baby yourself. You continued to grow. I’m proud of you.
For motherhood is tough enough even when one is ready. You took it on. Life stops for no one. Each day a new adventure. Smile, but also honor the tears that you shed when you feel lost in your head. There is clarity ahead. You just have to believe.

Sprouting from an inner spring of perennial joy and goodness, my benevolent heart now approaches each season full of love and forgiveness.
The mistakes of yesterday are not brought into today, for I hang my charismatic smile on yesterday’s lessons being the reason why tomorrow’s a better day.
Following the pious impressions of a Yogi enabled me to stumble upon meditation, unveiling an “inner world” only seen through one “eye.”
Tracing my own footsteps back to the beginning of “spiritual oneness”; my spiritual center, allowed me to discover a world teeming with tranquility and bliss.
Forfeiting “two eyes” for one did not come at a cost. Instead, I profited from: heightened awareness, in-depth intuition, clairvoyance, and enhanced telepathic abilities, but most importantly. I gained the ability to “see.”
Before meditation, my life was a mess. The “outside world” often made me depressed. Feeling as if my life was being tossed about like a boat under duress during high seas; nearly dashed against the jagged rocks. The dark rain clouds of depression often gave way to doubt, pouring more coal into the burning open furnace of my fears and insecurities.
Persistent meditation became my mental hygiene, brushing away my depression, doubts, fears, and insecurities; cultivating a flourishing mental garden from an overflowing fountain of Self-Love. Now, the “outside world” doesn’t affect me quite as much as it once did. I can only thank meditation for becoming my savior; a life raft I can cast perpetually to save myself from life’s high seas.
Meditation taught me that we cannot change other people! We weren’t put here to! We can only change ourselves! But a kind wide-smile, empathetic listening, or gentle words of encouragement can be a lantern of hope during someone’s darkest days.
I was born a conscientious person with a credulous nature and a pure heart, almost unfit for a world orbiting in reverse. In the early days of my life, I did not fair too well for having such noble qualities. In my later years, meditation showed me that I was born to be a king: ordained to help create a better world from the overflowing cup of goodness existing inside of me.
These days, butterflies flutter past me closely, hummingbirds levitate nearby, dogs are overzealous to greet me, and little children hurry to hug me at the knees. Maybe it’s my innocence. Perhaps I appear luminous, finally unafraid to reveal my light to the world.

Dear beautiful woman,

You ever wake up most days, and you’re all smiles? Yeah, that’s a great feeling! The way I see it is, If you can get through 245 of the 365 days in a year being happy, then that’s a pretty good year to me. That possibly leaves you with 120 days of uncertainty.

How do you feel on a day-to-day basis? What are you thankful for when you wake up? Do you ever think for one second that you may not be here the next day? Scary thought, huh?

I woke up one morning in November of 2021, not feeling great. It was during the pandemic and I had a bad cough. I thought the Rona had taken hostage over me. It was just a miserable feeling. My body didn’t feel well. I knew something was wrong.

The doctor visit was a little bizarre to me. The doctor was prescribing medication to me without checking my lungs out with an x-ray. I asked the doctor “can I have an x-ray?” She replied” sure”. The X-ray results were in and it showed a shadow in my lungs. My body with a shadow didn’t make sense. What does that even mean? I tested negative for corona, strep, and flu. I could not figure out what was going on.

The insurance didn’t approve me yet for a CAT scan of my lungs. I felt a tug on my lungs, as if someone tapped me and said “we need a further examination”

Weeks later, I still didn’t feel well. I was at work feeling like I was having an anxiety attack. I never had one before so I couldn’t compare this feeling to anything else. My body was definitely speaking to me. I called an Uber and went straight to the hospital. My body was still tapping me and saying “get a CAT scan”. Sometimes your body can turn in t a Bully to make sure you understand it’s language.

“I can’t breathe, ma’am”, is what I stated to the doctor. To be honest, physically I could breathe fine but mentally, I could not. I decided to exaggerate just a little so I can get the answers that I was looking for. I was rushed into the machine and received a CAT scan of my lungs.

“FINALLY, let’s do this”, I said to my body. I could feel my heart beating in my chest. My body was still talking to me. After the scan, I was placed in the waiting room. Scans showed a mass that was near my heart since 2011, has become too big and I will need surgery to remove it.

I thought to myself “is this woman talking to me, because ain’t no way I had a mass since 2011 and I was never informed”. It’s 2020 now. I asked myself “could that be a mistake?”.

I continued to do further testing and was able to be seen by a surgeon. The surgeon stated that the cat scans show a mass near my heart and it needs to me removed.

I was alone in the doctors office trying not to cry. “I have two sons and I need to see them grow into the great young men that they are becoming”. I learned a true lesson of “when your body speaks, you need to listen”

My surgery was scheduled at another hospital. I couldn’t dare have surgery in a hospital that never informed me of my mass in the first place. My body rejected that surgeon and his theories.

With the help of my attorney that I worked for, I scheduled my surgery in the City for March 2022. I had an MRI on January 25th. That was my dads birthday. My body knew that I was going to be ok, just for the simple fact that I would get clear answers from a test that I am taking on my dads birthday. He passed in 2018 from colon cancer.

March 2021 came and I was cut open to hand my mass removed from around my heart. Once I was opened,unbox revealed that it was not near my heart, it was wrapped around my lung. It was huge. My body had a score of “3”and these hospitals scored “0”.
A thoracic surgeon was on board and he saved the day. I thought to myself “thank god I listened to my body. I would have never known”.

It was not a speedy recovery. I went from not knowing anything that was going on in my body to having a tumor that was non cancerous out of my body.

Healing was not easy. I had to go back to work while I was trying to heal. The people I worked for asked me “what’s taking you so long to heal?” A woman being cut down her breast, asking her what’s taking long to heal? Imagine that shit! I quit and didn’t look back.

I didn’t know that I had the strength to build myself back up. My body has been through plenty of other surgeries but not like this one. My lungs were collapsed during this surgery and that’s not easy. I didn’t know that it takes mental, emotional and physical strength to get yourself back together.

I have a scar down the middle of my breast and I felt that I would be embarrassed to show my body. It’s a scar of resilience, courage and fight. I fought for my body and I’m glad I did. I am not going to be embarrassed of what happened to my body ever. I’m here and I’m alive.

Listen to your body at all times. It speaks to you, because you simply wouldn’t know.

Dear, Unsealers:

This is me in 2023, writing to myself at age 16.

I see the photo of him from December 2001, four months removed from a double leg surgery. In the background at his own birthday party. Clutching onto the walker to keep his balance. While trying to find a reason to smile.

I want to let him know, there will be plenty more days of joy in the years ahead. He will have the cast removed from his leg and be able to walk on his own two feet. And that moment will be one that he’ll treasure for the rest of his lifetime.

Once the brace comes off, the world will no longer be as off limits. With all the strength and courage returning, Europe will come calling. A trip every year for five straight years. He’ll keep on going as he keeps exploring the continent and writes about his experiences. The photos and videos taken will also convey what it was like to travel solo.

He’ll graduate from high school and college, with the diplomas on the wall to prove it. Along with the poster from his book, “A Poetic Journey, Staying At Home” on the wall of his bedroom when his writing and poetry begin to take shape.

It might not look like it at 16, but there will still be plenty of life to be lived. And your story of resilience will go on to inspire other people to see beyond their limitations.

Dear, Unsealers:

As I looked at my silhouette on the beach in Rincon, Puerto Rico the sunlight surrounds the shadow.

I can’t help but smile when I see my entire body in the early morning light. I’ve been holding it back for so long. Covering it up with socks, shoes and jeans. Making excuses for not joining in the fun. Now, I’m walking along the beach barefoot. It doesn’t matter that there’s not a soul around, just me.

The scars on the right leg from a double surgery back in 2001 are ever present, all seven of them. And the scars from the pins that used to be in my three middle toes. I feel the sensation of the sand softly walking up and down the beach. The splash of the water getting closer to the waves. And the breeze of the water surrounding me. Life feels good right now.

Days like this weren’t possible before. I was so afraid that everyone would gawk at my body. Heaven knows it came up for criticism during my younger years from loved ones. And I’ll be the first to admit that my body is an imperfect vessel.

But in this moment, I embrace myself fully and all the scars that I have. Without my scars I wouldn’t be the resilient person that I am.

It’s no secret! Everywhere we turn, everywhere we look; we are being lied to. As I lay on a thorny bed of lies forced to endure my racing beta thoughts. Grief struck me with the force of lightning, for my thoughts once naively lain upon the idea that the people running the world would never deceive us.
Elected officials are akin to the wagging tails and sloppy tongues on happy, goofy dogs; and world leaders share the same thing in common: They all have a serpent’s tongue. Media syndicates cause more devastation than nuclear weapons, weaponized to disseminate fear and upload subliminal messages, hacking into our subconscious minds with rogue viruses.
Due to social programming (conditional programming), change is not so easy for most people, but change is what the world needs to see. Changes in: Governments, politics, economics, and our legal systems are long overdue. Perhaps the reason why change is so hard for most people: It requires them to reprogram their minds to look at the ugly truth. Most people would rather look the other way than face change.
Change is removing the knife that was stuck in Malcolm X’s “back 9 inches” from our legal systems, and implementing ways for citizens to heal. Instead, the same bloody knife is left in everyone’s back 6 inches deep, impeding progress, causing citizens to bleed profusely from their unhealed wounds.
Propagandists feed us innocent truths, obscuring a host of nefarious lies. They tell us fluoride protects our teeth, but it severely calcifies our pineal glands and fogs our brains. Globalists make insidious claims about chemtrails being harmless or how they curtail global warming, yet chemtrails are laced with undisclosed toxic chemicals; killing us off and controlling our minds. Although misinformation is seen as something more forgivable than disinformation, depending on the news sources or sources of information, all lies can be spun as the truth.
Real change is giving citizens the power to stop Derrick Chauvin while he had his knee firmly pressed on George Floyd’s neck and spine, suffocating him to death. Real change is removing authoritative power from the unscrupulous grip of Governments and putting it back into the hands of the people. Real change is treating people fairly and equally because they are human beings, not just because they identify as LGBTQ.
If you ask me, everyone can see the necessity for change in the world, but it’s before they realize “they must be the change they want to see.” Then, most people take a step back or revoke their original stance on change. There can be no change until people take a sobering look at themselves and do what they can to make a difference in the world. Unquestionably, what must change in the world is simple! There need not be anymore Top Secrets and we must stop being lied to. Lied to by our Governments; lied to by politicians; lied to by physicians; lied to by philanthropic organizations like the WHO. Lies! Lies! Lies! Like rotting flesh in a bag being sold as fresh meat at full price.

I don’t know if you will remember me, but I wanted to let you know, I will never forget you. I was the young mother trying so desperately to survive. Hands holding on to my two little boys, and a car seat at my feet, and had my little ones so closely by my side as I checked into the hotel.
I was exhausted and I was terrified. I think you saw my blacked eye through the makeup that I tried so hard to hide from the world. I only had cash, as he was closely watching our bank account.
The woman working the front desk looked down on me and rolled her eyes when I tried to explain that I didn’t have a credit card or debit card for personal reasons, but I promised I was not going to throw any destructive party’s with my babies in tow. The truth is, I didn’t know who I could trust. I just wanted to rest. I wanted to feel secure, and to hold my babies tightly at night instead of standing watch for the headlights to pull into the driveway bringing home a drunken monster. Anyways, enough of that. You stood up from your chair, and you approached the impatient lady with your credit card. You sternly told her to “put a week on your tab” My jaw must have hit the floor because you put your hand on my shoulder ever so gently, and ushered me aside to where your beautiful wife and daughter were sitting. She picked up the car seat and walked with me to the elevator. It was unreal. The silence. You handed me my room card, and softly asked me if someone I loved had left those marks on my body. Through tears, I could only nod my head. They wouldn’t stop coming down. Your beautiful wife held me in her arms. She told me to “let it all out” that I was safe from harm. You explained to me that you held a high position in the local church, and that you and your family were staying at the hotel because your home had flooded. You placed something in my hand, and we parted ways. The next morning, there was a bag of groceries at my door. There was clothes for my kids, and a few items that I needed for myself. The morning after that, a beautiful basket of fruit with a note that said- you are so loved. The morning after that, donuts for us. Each morning, a new blessing was left at my door. My week ran out, and I had to go. I never saw you, or your beautiful wife. I didn’t even know which room was yours. When I checked out, there was no information on the sheet for billing and privacy purposes, they had to cover it with something before I received my copy. I never got to say thank you. For the time I had in that hotel was the most beautiful and relaxing of times. I was able to find clarity. I was able to think about my future for the very first time since the local shelter told me they only had room for myself and one child- I thank you kindly and Sir. With all of my heart. You, and your beautiful wife. For being my Angel. In my darkest time.
Because of you, I am safe. I am strong. You showed me that there was kindness. Many years later, I think of you, I think of her as I do my very best to create special gift bags for the victims and their children as they enter into what is the scariest of times. Thank you again, for your beautiful light. Grateful beyond words,
– Michelle