Lips receding to the crease of stilled waters, underneath the bosom of the moon. The tide is forever in quivering forms. Yet there is beauty in the way the figures sit, a calm in the exciting exercise for life’s sake. Time is forever in turning sails and moments constructed for the weathering of space and travel when harsh Squall perceived the deluged. Where are these inexhaustible Dispositions, these sounds to first utter the song of life. I want to hear this Song of Songs and Ballet to the grace of Ouayet caressing hymns. Listen as it wanders into the ears of man and whispers a prayer of Tolerance for the Middangeard yet harshly speak to the soul. Don’t lie in your speech and yet don’t comfort the weak. Be as you are and your voice shall sing in the tune of navigation until the sun reaches the moon. Siyabonga for how I see you full and Siyabonga for how you return from distant stars and a form I can love to learn. I hear the Song of Songs and now I collapse to the weight of its existence, this is the allure of your frequency and the power of your youthful butterfly. May the sail cast shadow of your safe returning to the Enterprise of a slight smile.

February 2, 2024

Self-Reflection

To be honest, I haven’t seen myself like this before… Embodying who I really am at core.

Valuing depth in connections… While being open for correction, my mind & heart is on one accord.

I am emotionally secured, more matured and all of that for sure.

Loving OUT LOUD, as my intentions are pure. “Lub- Dup” a sound that beats enough to end a war!

Feeling through moving waters, as it balances my reflection against the sun’s glow.

Unshakeable Ms. Mountain on a hill. Aware

that resting here is not always comfortable as I’d hope for.

Recently, I’ve discovered a string of things that tries to somehow still hold me back… so, I ask how deep does my layers lie? Is it really intact?

Home, going within the house to unpack…Alarming? I must have forgotten the code being too tough of a shell to crack. No one is perfect, I’m steadily learning to embrace that.

I was built from love, while ego tries to misplace it.

Splitting while the foundation crumbles, I had to see it through to heal and learn from my mistakes before molding something other.

I choose to look at the scars to face what I see within.

That’s both the beautiful and ugly which once knocked me down, just to get back up again because I love me. Acting with love. . . that takes courage!!! “Me-time” of self care to well nourish

I always state that “Love is maintenance” believing that I am more than worthy of it. The pain of discipline sometimes would take me under

From set backs, memories and dysfunction. Carrying me is the love that started from somewhere ethereal, way before my Grandmother’s comfort.

I rediscovered, no wonder who I am when I did encounter God! Open invitation, accepting the fact that I can love my self like this, without conceit… Really? Wow!!!

It’s still no excuse for me to be naïve while re-learning who I am, from whom I once known

myself to be… that’s something!

I am both Zen & Lit. Sharpened, yet humbled with a bit of bumble… I’m ready to rumble, if I am called to sting… solidly vibrates just as a bell rings

Gracefully open for arriving at my own timing. It’s so nice to finally be here!

The woman that the child within in me could not wait to meet. The poetic, romantic… the dancer who swiftly sways, right and left feet.

As we harmonize with love, I give thanks in advance while loving even more of the lady I am becoming…Continue on love because you’re on to something!

Best,

-Self

As I write this, it’s February 14th, Valentine’s Day, a day to celebrate love.

The phrase that comes to mind when pondering what love is – is “others,” aka being generous to someone else, as in NOT me. It is about making others happy.

When it comes to me, associating SELF with the word LOVE is as common as someone who doesn’t like Chinese food – very, very, VERY uncommon.

When the number reads 14, and the month reads February, for me, being single, the day is reserved for images of dark clouds and drooping flowers, instead of a rainbow perfectly expressing your range of beautiful emotions, whoever you are romantically attached to.

Reserving a table at your favorite restaurant, celebrating the day reserved to enjoy your significant others company is my personal definition of this day.

So, you can see why, as a single person, MY viewpoint of this day is filled with clouds and drooping flowers instead of the voraciously vibrant red roses.

I could point out a list of adjectives as large as jumbo popcorn: envy and sadness are a couple of kernels to explain how I feel about not having someone I am smitten over sitting on the other side of the table, making me feel that I’m with the only one and everyone at the same time.

Skewed and as untrue as it might be, having the one would make me feel whole. That said, as I am writing this, I am learning a very important lesson… there is a reason we have both iced and hot coffee.

So, with that, I’ll stop bringing out the appetizers and get to the main course: the reservation might be for two, just remember, adding a +1 does not mean you stop loving you, and self-love is love that NO person can give to you except ONE.. YOU!

And by the way, to my future Valentine (girlfriend) – since we love both of ourselves equally, we are splitting the cup because your self-love and my self-love is equally important to me and you.

Dear Me,

Self-love has been a journey of a million miles after being torn down time and time again, insulted, hurt emotionally and physically. Self-love is difficult when you’re used to being lied to so much that your mind suddenly becomes your biggest bully. As I wrote in my poem about bullying that’s entitled Target “[when] the weight of the impact hits you repeatedly you learn how to fall apart without learning how to put yourself back together.” Self-love, that’s the chapter I’m on right now. I’ve read the words of Scripture that say “love your neighbor as yourself (Mk. 12:31)” and prayed for the courage to love myself as deeply as I love others. I’ve sat in the Confessional where a priest in persona Christi (in the person of Christ) pinpointed that I don’t love myself well. I’ve made many a visit to my therapists office with a self-love workbook in tow hoping that learning about it will help me to live it. It’s not perfect but I am learning.

I love how I’ve been unlearning the things I’ve learned from those who were trying to steal my light.

I love how despite the setbacks and difficulties you keep trying to put yourself together after you fall apart.

I love how you will say yes to anyone who asks you to dance because you want everyone to feel what it’s like to be accepted.

I love how you are everyone’s cheerleader. You believe so ardently in the beauty of other people’s dreams.

I love how excited you get when you get good news—you can hardly contain it and you just have to share with someone.

I love how you refuse to let apathy consume you but how you feel deeply and unapologetically.

I love how you speak from the heart.

I love how you valiantly stand up for the things you believe in even if no one is following you.

I love your tenacious spirit, your determination, and grit.

I love your ambition and drive to accomplish wonderful and beautiful things.

I love how you have a mother’s heart even though you have no children of your own.

I love that you want to heal the whole world with love.

But most of all if there is anything I love about you it’s this.

That even though the world has been so unkind to you, you choose to keep your heart soft and to be so kind to everyone you encounter.

Darling there is so much to love about you.

And I know that sometimes you forget that sometimes so I wrote this letter to you so when you’re down or discouraged and can’t remember any reason to love yourself you’ll have these 13 reasons to choose self-love.

Sincerely,

My soul reflected upon a judgmental society of mirrors. I’m imperfect. Flawed as temptation slept with my mental plane. Each scar, each mark a precious flower gently shining in the dwelling seas, a déjà vu of my sanctuary. My strength cleaved at the depths of beauty, caressing the temple which God has given me. Embracing my Lows, and yet impregnating the highs of self love. Preserved in a vessel of love, kindness fondled my gaze of brittle strength as I strive to deal myself within a life lived fully. It’s a story wrestled with aggression, seduced to its primal adolescence and yet my shadow tries me. It indicates a lack of empathy, a bridge between languages of self doubt and inability. Is it the real me? A person to fill my soul with acceptance. Is the good in me a side with regretful feelings. A half that is faded with disease as my shadow walks underneath my skin. Is he my kin, a friend that completes me in a fullness that is peace. I want this word off my mind, this self love that released things which kept me back. The good was always seeking, searching, yearning for this mistress of acceptance while the shadows kept me in the light. I dated the dark, undercover her abuse and stood by her side. Indulging with her my other half a self where love can truely reside. I am whole, I am enough, I am free in these times of self love, I find my peace. If lost I’ll find you again, I’ll stay focus with a purpose until the days end when I’m up to bat at your love deep within my soul and embrace worth the wait.

I unapologetically love me unconditionally
I apologize to my past selves for doing it indiscriminately
In order to be my best self would mean I am elated
It took a while and I’m proud to say it’s been reinstated
I do what makes me happy especially my inner child
She’s is so over the moon that her little heart smiles
She loves to color, sing and dance like no one is watching
It’s the growning soul and the little soul that are interlocking
She’s making all versions of her past self morph into her best self
Her happiness is her version of a prosperous wealth
Self love is psychological, spiritual growth and physical
With a proportional rainfall strictly biblical
It’s my definition and my own version
I am uniquely my own person
Thank you, God, for all that you have done for me and my family
I only got one life, and I want to do it right by being happy
No one can do me better than me. My only competition is me
My lessons are mine to learn only I would know
The path it took to get here and I’m not done though
I learn daily and I don’t claim to be perfect because I am human
I have to remind myself that life is a classroom
I’m not afraid of the lessons I let them pass through
I owe it to my heaven sent angel and angel who fluttered with his wings
You both are my life and light and also are my kings
It’s because of you I unapologetically love me unconditionally

I have spent most of my life trying to learn how to love myself.
After leaving an abusive relationship in January of 2001 I was a complete mess. I was a single mother of three little ones that needed me to pull through. There you will find your strength. Someone, somewhere, still loves you. Deep into your core. Do not be afraid to be who you are, because YOU are love.
I started to write poetry.
One lonely night, after my kids were in bed, I started to reflect. The darkness seemed to slowly fade away, and the following words flowed freely, and opened up my closed heart.
I felt compelled to share it with The Unsealed family. Here goes my heart.
Someone, somewhere out there loves you. They love you for who you are, and they love you for your heart. They love you for everything that you stand for, and that you believe in. They do not hurt you, but encourage you to follow your dreams. They will not tear you down, but will wipe away the tears. when you are too weak from crying, they will hold you. When you feel as if your heart is breaking, and you do not think that you can go on, there, you will find your inner strength. Your power, your truth. do not ever be afraid, to be who you truly are. YOU are loved by you.
You will embrace the changes, the struggles and those pains. Please, don’t you ever feel like you need to change to be loved. Love is who you are.
Your road has been hard. It has been paved with loneliness.
If being lonely is what it takes to find YOU again, then let it be. Don’t be afraid to travel this world alone. take time to observe all of humanity.
You have found that we are all different on the outside, but we all bleed the same. Broken people will hurt you often due to their own pains. You will learn to spot them. Careful who you let in. Do not be cold, that is not who you are. Expand love within.
When all is said and done, you will find that you have walked many journeys in solitude. Alone. You have learned that people, are people, they trip up just like you. You have learned that holding onto bitterness, and anger is a huge mistake. It will only hurt you. Knowing that you are unstoppable. You keep moving on. At the end of the road, you will find that someone, somewhere, has been with you through the battles and that they have loved you all along…

I wrote these words the night that I found myself again. When I realized that all I needed to do was to love myself. It is still an every day battle at times, but I love the woman that I have become. Thank you for reading. I hope that it makes a bit of sense to someone.

Thinking about my goals for the new year makes me crouch in my seat when I should sit up straight proud because I got there

my brain BURSTS mulling over ANY AND EVERY GOAL so I take this time to look at them as a WHOLE

What do I have to do to complete this puzzle piece that is comprised of EVERY SINGLE GOAL

Being CONFIDENT and PROUD of what I have done should give me all the reason to continue to strive for SUCCESS this season

There is truly no reason why 2024 can NOT be a BREAKTHROUGH season

As I invision proceeding and SUCCEEDING in life the reason I haven’t had my break through moment is easy

My potential is like the AIR you can NEVER have too much to spare

I don’t dare to prepare to jump into the limit-LESS air BUT I am AFRAID of that STARE or smile that will inevitably be there (at least according to ME) to COMPARE

If I dare to run the race that is LIFE and I WIN I will FOREVER WONDER if crossing that finish line FIRST was FAIR

I think about EVERYONE ELSE who CAN be there

Most certainly the guy with the limp is NOT supposed to be there (or so MYSELF thinks)

But I tell myself if I do NOT run the race (LIFE) like I BELONG it will only be UN-used air and WASTED air just means in the end I did NOT care and I MYSELF CARE

So in 2024 I DARE to jump INTO MY limit-LESS AIR!

The expectations I set forth
Will allow me to light the torch
To a productive and successful 2024
Far beyond my imagination
This is the year of fulfillment
This is the year of new beginnings
This is the year that my consistency pays off
This is the year my dreams are my reality
My destiny awaits
I cherish the days of people saying
I always knew you would
I always knew you were talented
Not that I need the recognition
But I would be grateful that they were paying attention
I’m ready to enjoy the talent I was blessed with
Sharing it with the masses
I’m ready for my creativity to be heard
As well as read in the pages of my 1st poetry book
1 of my biggest goals this year
Is to release a body of work
That represents me before I turn 40
This is the year
This is the year I dreamt of
This is the year that it all happens
Ain’t nothing going to stop me but me
That’s why this is the year of endless possibilities!

The excitement you feel at new years. Is arbitrary. It’s created. We decided that completing 365 days is an accomplishment. A time to celebrate, to reflect, to dream.

We begin to think about all the possibilities of a new year. The places we may go, people we may meet, people we may become.

We create the feeling of being new, fresh, opportunities await.

But what if we celebrated like this every week. Everyday. We feel the same accomplishment and pride and joy for living another day. We feel the excitement and dream about the possibilities that tomorrow holds.

We truly, deep down try to embrace the feelings of new years each and every day. We reflect on the day, what went wrong and released it. What went right and how we can foster more of that. Appreciate the places we went that day while dreaming of the places we’ll go tomorrow.

We create how we feel. How we process. We can’t control the outside influences but we can work to control how we process and react. We can celebrate each and every day and the possibilities that a new day holds.

This year I want to celebrate the new day.

Good morning, happy new day!
Good night, wishing you an amazing tomorrow!

25 December 2023
Christmas Day

“Weeping may endure for a night
But joy cometh in the morning.”

Psalm 30:5

My Dearest Sean:

As I was reading our friend Lauren Brill’s website, the community was invited to reflect upon and write a letter about our favorite day of 20
23. Sounds easy, right? Sometimes, as we enter the holy season of Christmas each year, we often reflect on the totality of the year. However, as a grieving mother, I found myself a bit challenged to write this missive as just 18 months, 13 days ago, you left this earth and transcended through the clouds, the galaxies, and the stars and onto God’s Paradise. It almost feels like a betrayal to feel joy but the reading of Psalm 30:5 lifts our spirit to do otherwise.

After much reflection, I chose Wednesday, 23 August as the day and date as the single day that brought much joy and therefore my favorite day of 2023. This summer day was the selected day that the inaugural Sean Scott Strother Memorial Scholarship Fundraiser was held. The scholarship was created in loving memory of you as a beloved son and amazing father. Additionally, you were such a “teckie” and enjoyed all that technology had to offer and that was manifested in your home life, your professional career as a software solutions engineer and in your extracurricular activities, including using technology to track biking with GPS. So it was apropos that we had envisioned a bright future for young scholars who plan to pursue a career in the Science, Technology, Engineering, Arts and Mathematics (STEAM) field, with College Now Greater Cleveland Inc. managing the fund.

The event Committee consisted of members of your family and dear friends. We had methodically and meticulously planned out all of the details for an outside event on The Bluff at a venue along the breathtaking shores of Cleveland’s beautiful Lake Erie! We were ecstatic!

Thumbs up! The day prior to the event, we checked the weather forecast and had expected good weather on Wednesday. However, on the day of the event, we woke up to gray skies and gentle rain which progressively became worse. There was significant flash flooding and thunderstorms and the hardest hit areas were along the lakeshore, with five to seven inches of rainfall. You know what I was thinking – that the expected guest list of 50 plus would begin to diminish.

Good news! As we entered the venue, a young server introduced himself to me and shared an inspiring word. He said, “Is this your event?” I answered affirmatively, apparently with a look of pensiveness. The server continued, “Don’t worry. Your event will be just fine! And, we’ll have a bit sunshine.” Unbeknownst to me, the venue staff had transformed the mansion to accommodate my event to a glorious indoor event! With that, guests who were not deterred by the ferocious storms, gray skies and flooding began to trickle in. Close to 80 individuals joined us – family, friends, colleagues, and your BFFs. Miraculously, at one point during the event, like magic, the sun was shining which afforded our special guests to venture out of the mansion and onto “The Bluff” overlooking the picture perfect Lake Erie. I believe that there was divine intervention. What do you think?

The fundraiser was awesome and successful! Every single one of your amazing friends, colleagues, family, new friends as well as event staff contributed to the success of this event! They showed up and showed out! Your closest friends created the most amazing silent auction baskets, lovingly entitled “Sean’s Favorite Things.” These unique baskets each reflected things that you enjoyed – Scotch, Date Night Basket, The Edible Art Experience Cookie Basket, Tech, Travel, Mobile Detailing and a magnificent piece of art by a Cleveland artist.

The keynote speakers, all who knew you personally, shared remarkable stories about your kind attributes, your education at Cuyahoga Community College and its impact on your career and weaved in the importance of education, technology and the STEAM areas as it relates to the economic development of our community. Your unique gift of being able to meet people where they are and go from “the mailroom to the boardroom” was just as important as your technology education.

We raised over $17K which was 59% over plan. As a result of such a successful fundraiser, in 2024, we will be able to offer a selected scholar from the Cleveland Now Strother Scholarship Fund a renewable annual scholarship!

August 23, was indeed my favorite day!

Sean, your influence is enduring as well as impactful.

I love you dearly and you are missed immensely.

All my Love,
Mom
(Janet Banks)

The Strother Scholarship Fund

Sean Scott Strother was born on Valentine’s Day 1982 during an era of the creation and proliferation of the first personal computer, the release of Nintendo, Game Boy, and the rise of the Sony Walkman. Sean’s expanded curiosity into the world of technology began with the arrival and opening of large box, designed with the iconic rainbow apple, containing the hot Apple IIgs, a powerful personal computer! With that, began his successful foray into the field of technology and its impact as well as application in everyday life.
Sean attended Lutheran High School East and graduated from Cleveland Heights High School. Sean served in the Ohio Army National Guard First Battalion. 145th Armor Company while pursuing an Associate degree in applied science from Cuyahoga Community College. While employed as a lifeguard at Beachwood High School, Sean was offered the opportunity to join Tremco, Inc. as an intern and later as a desktop support technician. From there, and with increased responsibilities, he joined Novelis, and Cleveland-Cliffs, Inc. Sean achieved his life’s career goals, by obtaining his dream job at BMC, a Global Software Company, as a Senior Solutions Engineer.

Sean was a proud dad and loved being a “Girl Dad” to his beautiful girls – Jada and Chloe; stepdaughters, Kamari and Kaliyah. One of Sean’s proudest achievements was raising funds to fight childhood cancers through the Great Cycle Challenge with his employer BMC Inc. team members where he was one of the top fundraisers. Sean was passionate about the Great Cycle Challenge because it enabled him to do what he loved to do, cycle, and raise funds to end childhood cancer and save little lives. Sean earned the respect of his colleagues who shared that he “was extremely smart, dedicated, super fun to be around and overall great person.” Sean had a unique quality in that everyone with whom he came in contact felt special, family, friends and strangers alike.

Applicants for the Strother Scholarship Fund must attend a College Now served high school in Northeast Ohio and graduate in the spring of 2024. The selected student will receive up to $2500 annually. This scholarship is renewable.

Started the year manifesting love and success
I had my share of failed relationships
So finding love in 2023 came unexpectedly
Our 1st official date just so happened to fall
On my mom’s death anniversary
What a hectic day
After my hair appointment
We went to the cemetery to visit my mom
How different that was
I’ve never taken anyone to visit my mom’s grave
If my mom was alive
She would have so many questions
So it was only right
A dinner reservation at Carmine’s
Because we both love Italian food
The rain couldn’t put a damper on our mood
Even though my silk press became frizzy
We took pictures to capture the night
Along the time square bright lights
Honestly that had to be the overall best day of 2023
As the month of June is often bittersweet to me
That day I forgot about the past pain that plagued my mind
Instead I celebrated new beginnings
And toasted to a brand new love that would continue to shine!

I have to say that 2023 has been pretty kind to me. It’s been a good year and I’ve embarked on adventures that I never would’ve imagined in my wildest dreams. That being said it was difficult to choose my favorite moment of the year, however one rises above all the others.

Picture this….

It was my birthday. The July heat warmed my face as I woke to the sound of kids playing at a nearby park in the suburbs of Chicago. I was a long way from my home in Maine but it didn’t feel that way because my other half—my better half—my twin sister was sleeping in the room next door. I woke with gratitude for another day, for a new year of life beginning, for the life of my sister (who is my best friend), for the chance to do life together and much more. I say a quick prayer thanking God for these blessings as I soak up the rays of sun shining through the window and wait for my sleepy sister to wake up.

Our first adventure of the day was to get to Starbucks to get our free birthday beverage. As she sipped on her iced caramel macchiato and I sipped on my honey flat white we walked to a nearby nail salon to get pedicures all the while chatting about our hopes, dreams and goals for the next year.

When we reach the nail salon we settle in for some rest and relaxation. I choose a lighter purple color and my sister chose a pale blue color. The shades of nail polish we chose are total opposites, yet complement each other quite well just like my sister and I do. I look over to her as she’s getting her nails done and see her smiling and I smile too knowing that she is happy.

With our tummies rumbling we head over to P-Quads, a deep dish pizza restaurant that both my sister and my dad raved about. As we walked in the heavenly smell of pizza cooking wafted its way to my nose. We ordered a pepperoni deep dish pizza and devoured several slices of pizza before tapping out.

We headed back to my sister’s apartment and got ready for the main reason I was in Chicago (besides seeing my sister) to see Ed Sheeran perform in Solider Field. The previous Christmas my sister had gotten me tickets to the concert. I had waited for this for half a year and now it was here. The anticipation and excitement grew as I got ready.

Before leaving for the concert my sister and I blew out our candles had a few bites of our cheesecakes that we had ordered from the Cheesecake Factory a few days before. Each bite was creamy, delicious and super rich.

Finally we left for the concert. We arrived at Soldier Field and walked up to the humungous stadium. Khalid came out and the excitement was palpable. With enthusiasm and energy he worked the whole crowd. With the excitement at its peak Ed Sheeran came bounding onstage. I could not believe I was actually there, I have been a fan of his for a long time and here he was in the same vicinity as me. You could say I was a little star struck, even though Ed is such a humble guy. More than that a feeling of deep wonder and gratitude filled my being. How this birthday was so different than the last birthday I’d had where I’d spent the day alone, grieving the loss of my grandparents, wondering if I was seen or known. Ed sang his little heart out and the crowd shared moments of joy, laughter, tears as we sang along to his songs. As the concert was about to end Ed instructed us to take out our phone and use our flashlight on our phone and as he sang we waved our phones in the air as we took in the lyrics, the melody, the moment.

I have to admit that 2023 has been kind to me and that there have been many good moments this year, but this one tops them all. It was a perfect day spent with one of my favorite people, treating ourselves, eating good food, and watching one of my favorite pop artists sending lyrics which encapsulate both the beauty and messiness of life into the humid night air. I felt at peace. I felt seen and known in the moment. I could not help but smile from ear to ear and soak in each moment. And even now the memory washes over me and fills me with a wonder and gratitude that I know I will remember for the rest of my life.

It’s supreme to see, the difference between guided meditations between poets. The way one’s words can give spirit the will to steer a movement. And the lost of the spoken word to preform in-front of gods when its lost in moments. This pine box that kept lock the pillars of actions, and thoughts which keep me in motion. It’s these times when a call from god can give you the Courage to defeat the cowardice of self service to societies involvements. But it came from an unsealed person, who wasn’t washed by the addictions of personal cues to batter the isolated person. A personified hue-man who gave me the impression to be a super soldier. So buried alive was the feeling that my words wasn’t enough to spread a revolution.