It couldn’t have been easy to have a daughter that dreams as big as I do. You and I both always knew that I was destined for something greater. So you poured everything you had into me to make sure that no opportunity was out of my reach.

Pride doesn’t even begin to describe what I feel when I look at you. To know that my immigrant parents, without any sort of formal education and a life of fear, danger, and oppression, provided me with the best education and privileges this world has to offer… it fills me with a sense of responsibility.

I don’t dream big for me. I dream big for our bloodline.

Growing up, I often thought about how easily my life could’ve turned out differently. If you didn’t have the guts to uproot our family to a whole new world, if you weren’t lucky enough to get that Visa, if you simply decided to settle somewhere else, I would’ve had a completely different life. One that may not have had as many opportunities as the one I currently live.

When thinking about that, it felt like I was given a gift. One that I would be selfish to throw away. One that took generations of blood, sweat, sacrifice, and tears, to finally make a reality. The more I learned about the history of our world, the more I understood how wronged we were in it.

Slowly, that sense of responsibility turned into an overwhelming guilt. Why did I get to live such a beautiful life of privilege when none of my ancestors before me were afforded the same? How could I carry on knowing that I lived in a world biased against my own people?

You watched me as I struggled with this strife. You consoled me as this guilt slowly ate away at my mind. You stood by me and continued loving me even when the demons got the better of me. As I was making decisions that broke your heart, you were still there to help me mend mine.

Through your unconditional support, I slowly began to dream again – to believe that a brighter world was not only possible, but that it was up to me to create it.

As I began sharing my story – our story – with the world, you gave me the space to do so. As I started to understand that I wanted to dedicate my life to the journey of self-discovery, you told me to go for it. As I decided to take all of my education and opportunity and throw away the stability of a traditional, good-paying job, you never doubted my vision.

How did I get so lucky to have parents like you?

Thanks to you, I’ve made a name for myself. I stand for something greater than myself. I teach, inspire, and encourage others to embrace everything about who they are because you taught me how to do that.

You taught me to never doubt myself and so that is exactly what I did, even when not doubting me meant taking on doubt from you. Still, I stood strong, like you showed me to do, and slowly showed you the vision I’ve been seeing all along.

Now, look at us! A family of business owners with a world of opportunities at the horizon.

We did it.

And by “we”, I don’t just mean me, you, and my sisters. I mean all of us. Dhadha, and Dhadi, and everything they did to raise you into the parents you became. Their parents after them and all that they taught them. All of our ancestors and every decision they made to make our bloodline as strong as it is to have made it here.

We did it. We finally made it to living a life of opportunity instead of a life of survival.

You see, dreams do come true. But, they aren’t made over night or even over one lifetime. Dreams are forged through the strife, the pain, the values & virtue, the traditions, the struggle, the hustle of generations of human existence.

We all carry the history of the people that came before us, and with that, the dreams.

So, Mommy & Papa, I know having a daughter that dreams as boundlessly as I do can be overwhelming at times. But, I think you always knew to some degree that I dream so largely and loudly because you never got to.

None of us ever got to until now. Until me.

I hope I make you proud in dreaming so loudly for all of us. Time to put our name on the map.

My bright light blinds most, no sunglasses will help
That is a fact that makes most mad
I used to not get why, but I figured it out –
My light illuminates what you run from
Illuminates all your fears and doubts
You seek the illusion of healing through drinking, smoking, sexing, popping, sniffing
Basically whatever buries your feelings
Convincing yourself that that is what cures your inside dealings
Not accepting that your running from your own war
You know the one you feel way down deep in your core
So when you see “lil ol me” you think
Who does she think she is? She acts like shes better than everyone else
Nah this is just what confidence looks like
And the truth is confidence used to feel so weird to me
Like learning how to ride a bike
But I used to wonder why not clap for me? Be happy for me? Proud of me? Why not support me? Cheer me on a little?
So I sat down and I had to figure something else out
People can only treat you as good as they treat themselves
I mean think about it, how would anyone give you more love then they give their own self?
So I can’t let what you say or portray bother me
Especially when your on a level that I used to be
One I had to train myself overtime to continuously flee
That is why you won’t understand what I do and you definitely won’t agree
You can’t see that what I’m doing is actually what makes me free
I no longer can let what you say affect me from doing me
Lil ol me is moving onto big ol lil me things
Sorry but not sorry if that makes your insides sting

My dear sweet friend Jen,

I do not remember the details of how we met,  however I know we met in college.  In a small college which only yields a handful of theology majors each year we were bound to meet.  I imagine we met in class and when deciding where I wanted to sit I decided to sit next to the girl with the curly brownish-blonde hair and the kind face.  From there the rest was history and we became friends very quickly.  You became like a sister to me.  When I graduated college we still kept in touch and would occasionally meet for our Panera dates. We bonded over books and boys.  Those were great but I missed seeing you on a regular basis, that’s why I was overjoyed when you got the job for the Diocese as it meant that we would see each other every day. Working with you was a blast.  I would stop by your office each day and we would talk about every little thing that came to our minds.  We joined the events committee together and were voted to be the chair and co-chair.  We complimented each other in leadership. This past year you left your job at the Diocese for a new adventure.  But our friendship has remained steady and strong.

I don’t know if you’re familiar with the Tik Tok Who’s Your Color Person trend that’s going around where people are classifying different colors to correlate with different characteristics.  But you my dear are my blue.  “A blue person is known for the comfort and peace that they bring. They are a big part of [your] support system and will never leave you (Krol).”  When I was thinking of who would be part of my support system as I started trauma therapy your name immediately came to mind.  When I told you about my mental health challenges you were surprised but you were also understanding and so gentle and kind to me.  You made me feel seen, heard, and supported and I really appreciate that.  Your calm and gentle nature helps me to regulate my dysregulated nervous system.  I trust you and I feel I can be authentically myself around you.  I can be vulnerable with you and am sure it will be met with kindness and love. You inspire me every day even if we are apart and even if you do not know it.

It has been a pleasure to watch you grow into the woman you are becoming. Your faith is unwavering and always on display which is so beautiful to see. I have watched you pursue your dreams in countless ways,  and in the past year or so I have watched you fall in love with the love of your life.  I am so excited for all that lies ahead for you.  I can’t wait to watch you marry the love of your life this summer.  I know I will be beaming with pride and with love for you that day.  And I know that one day you will stand beside me as my bridesmaid and do the same for me. 

Thank you for being my friend.  I love you beyond what words can express. 

Your friend till the end,

To the Beauties reading this note,

Following your dreams… Now this was always some quite the controversy in my house growing up. One parent stating you need to dream big the world is your oyster–the other saying you do not want to dream too big otherwise you will get left behind. Now I am writing to you all to say live for you. That’s what I am in the midst of doing. I started with the bare thinking I could not do much more than being a student and going to school; however, in my time away I learned I should have always listened to what the first parent told me. Keeping my identity low as I do not want to cause any fusses in the midst of the beginning: I have so many dreams that I can not wait for all of them to see.
Do not be afraid to express who you are!
Sometimes it takes going away to see the light at the end of it all.
If you feel afraid: know I am in your corner.
I love each and everyone of you.
May you all walk through this world with the blessings you each deserve.

15 and pregnant to a monster all because I was trying to escape the pain of my horrific childhood of emotional, mental, and sexual abuse. I allowed myself to get manipulated and trapped time and time again. Even though I was the last person everyone thought would get pregnant including myself, it happened and everyone told me I was messing up my life but I tell you what. Having my kid was my saving grace and likely changed my path for the better. Yes, I continued to make many terrible and embarrassing mistakes along the way but I would come out strong and rise above all that attempted to pull me down into the trenches. I moved from house to house and tried to date after leaving his biological father to find myself with the wrong types over and over again and creating situations for myself that would only destroy me and my son if I allowed it to. I got accepted to modeling and I couldn’t afford my portfolio. I considered joining the Air Force and couldn’t imagine leaving my son that long for training. I worked dead-end jobs over and over and then I gave up, again. I felt defeated. I started thinking, maybe they were right. I worked in a pizzeria with a pedophile boss who would later make the news. But then finally, I would meet a group of people who would help me see my true and worthy self. They didn’t see me as a person young and dumb but encouraged me to keep going and to fight for my future; our future (with my son). So, I did just that. I no longer entertained the idea of needing a man to make my family complete. Instead, I worked full-time as a bartender, went to college full-time, received public assistance, and was a mom full-time while juggling my personal life. I would meet my husband in college, get pregnant twice, then get married. That’s 3 boys and a husband with a college degree! Now I am an office manager of 13 years, and I own my home. I never thought this would ever be my life. Our oldest (27) is getting married to his high school sweetheart of the 9th grade in August (no kids), our middle son (20) is graduated and figuring out his path in life (no kids) and our baby son (17) is a senior in high school, no kids. My point is, I have had more trauma, pain, and disappointment than anyone should have so young. It started in my mother’s womb and carried on for far too long and then I allowed more along the way until I snapped out of the cycle and said no more. I will not allow this to be my life. I deserve and want better. I had a support system and I had dreams. While some of my dreams didn’t happen ultimately my big dream did. All because I didn’t give up and continued chasing my dreams. Mike Tyson said “I’m a dreamer. I have to dream and reach for the stars, and if I miss a star then I grab a handful of clouds.” My dream, my ultimate dream; health, family, success, love, support, respect, compassion, and understanding. I may have not been able to grab one star and I know I reached for the handful of clouds but boy I tell ya. I have all the stars in the universe right here with me!

A lot of artists are scared Artificial Intelligence will replace them but as an Artist, I have found it to be a useful tool. I’m a writer and when I was younger, I’d draw characters and scenes for my stories to inspire me and help create the plot. Lately I’ve been using AI to draw my characters and sometimes it comes up with wild ideas and I incorporate this in my stories. I invite every artist to not be afraid of A.I., but to see it as partner in helping you become a better artist, I even created an AI instagram model to help promote my company. I’m also a filmmaker and working with AI to create a movie using AI and human actors. We should realize AI is not going anywhere and we can use the potential of it to help chase our dreams and make them become reality, The photo is me and my AI instagram model Jac