I remember someone once asked me “if there’s any place you can be, where you are peaceful, where would it be?” My answer was simple, somewhere by the water, on the swings, looking over the horizon. But unfortunately, life changed drastically for me, I had turned around for just a moment and felt a shot at my heart. The worst part when I turned back to see who had shot me, I didn’t think it would be in the hands of someone I trusted the most. Oh how I could feel the kiss of betrayal as I cried a river so deep, I drowned in it. The colors had slowly vanished, my head was in the clouds, and it was as if I was walking upside down. But as I shook my head in confusion, and sorrow, I saw a glimpse of her, my girl, my true friend. I had made my way so high up in the clouds, I was looking at her from Saturn, as she stood on Earth, and she waved at me and smiled. She looked at me as if all the flaws that were drowning me, were actually perfect, as if I wasn’t all the negative thoughts in my head, or any of my fears. She called to me, like my favorite song I will always remember, and as she did, I made my way back down. I passed the milky way, the stars, even a place with no name, and at last I met her again, back down on Earth. She reached out her hand, wiped my tears, and she simply said, “baby don’t cry ” just like that, I melted. I held onto her like she was my only religion, the longer I held onto her, the more my pain, fears, trauma, betrayal, all left my body. She always knew how to bring me back down to Earth, and it was the only reason I was able to get through the hard times. I also suffer greatly from bipolar, and dissociative personality disorder, so during traumatizing events like this, it makes it hard to differentiate the lines between reality and fantasies. I was worried I would lose my grip on reality, that my mind would slip and never come back. I was starting to think my dreams were real, and what was real was just a dream, I wasn’t sure if I would ever be the same again. I fell to my knees and sat in silence, no music, no screaming, no tears, none of the old habits I usually go to when I need to numb the pain. I hadn’t realized how much time had passed, I thought it had only been 10 minutes as I tried to process all my emotions and thoughts. As I was getting more and more lost into the dark hole, I heard my phone ding. There it was, a message from my girl came in, and at the same time I saw that two whole hours had actually passed in this silence. But I finally looked at my phone, and I saw how joyful she was, as she told me “that’s why I’m happy I know you!” with little hearts. It meant a lot to me because I knew she wasn’t saying it out of pity with all that I was going through, but because she genuinely felt this way. I felt my heart finally thaw, from icicles to newfound warmth, finally put on some music and continued my day with happiness and love. I was so grateful that she came in when she did, and took me out of the dark space just by being herself and showing me love. She actually did this for me multiple times, and doesn’t realize it. Each time I fell, cried, and grieved, she was there, loving me when I couldn’t love myself. She was my eternal sunshine, while I was a dark gray cloud. In her presence, none of the heart ache, grief, and anger existed within me. It was as if my inner child was smiling and healing, all within her arms, and that is when I knew I loved her deeply. I loved her as deeply as the sea, so much so, even the Gods would envy that mortals can love and be loved this much. On the lonely cold nights, I hear her voice, and remember how her arms feel around me, it helps me sleep, it always brings me peace. I keep her love with me like a locket, it keeps me warm, it reminds me love and kindness exists when the world feels heavy. I truly do thank God for putting her in my path, I believe it is the kindest thing God could have ever done for me. I hope everyone who has carried grief, and pain so heavy gets to experience a love and light so kind, so warm, it brings peace in a world that tends to choose war. I never thought I myself would experience someone so kind, loving, interesting, and caring like this. The way she handled my heart, my tears, my anger, has always been so gentle. So gentle that my eyes water whenever I think of her, and her love. She is my safe space, my peace of mind, my sunshine when I feel like it keeps raining, and I even worry that it will never stop raining. Yet she always reminds me that there is hope, there is love, especially between us, and it created a connection that could never die. I believe our connection is so deep, I would look for my sunshine in the afterlife, and in the next life too… If I am to be reborn, the moment I start seeking love again, my soul will search for hers. Because knowing her makes life bliss, that I know during the hard times, she will remind me that the sun will always shine again.