My love language is not overbearing. Its reassurance.
It’s the effort of learning my favorite coffee order and holding hands as you drive. You bring your hand close on my worst day and bury it beneath my back. You vouch for personal time on the couch and watch comedy sitcoms for hours. I don’t ask to be seen, you want my attention.
To be in a partnership, to be respected as part of the home and a woman.
My love langauge symbolizes my temple, the desire to build security.

My love language is not overbearing, its reassurance.
I deserve every part o it.

Dear 2022,

When the clock struck midnight on January 1st, 2022, I had high hopes for you – the upcoming year. I planned to build a new feature on The Unsealed – a pen pal system allowing users to post their content and write to each other. I was hopeful that this would be the “it” factor that would take my company to the next level. I thought I would sit back and enjoy the show once it launched.

Personally, with COVID seemingly becoming less severe, I was excited about going out more and meeting new people. Maybe date someone new – or meet some new friends in Miami.

Per usual, the year didn’t go exactly as planned. Just like every other year, there were some challenges I didn’t foresee. My mother had a cancer scare, and I lost a friend at 40 years old to brain cancer.

It was tough, but I continued to march forward as I always do.

When I launched our Pen Pal network, I quickly realized that we were helping people and had something special. However, I also realized that we laid the foundation but still needed to build the house. There are elements we need to add. We still need to figure out a flow and a clearer user-generated experience.

Outside of work, I have met new people – some were lessons, while others have been a whole lot of laughter.

While 2022 didn’t lead to everything I wanted, I feel closer to all that I desire. I evolved personally and professionally. I have a better idea of who I want in my life and what I need to do to realize my dreams.

While my hopes for next year are similar to those from last year, I am thankful for a journey filled with amazing people, passion, and purpose.

It’s been real. Thanks for the memories, 2022.

With gratitude,

I’ve always wanted deep connection. Honesty. Unwavering loyalty and unquestionable morals. I whined about the lack of depth in relationships each time my expectations weren’t exceeded. I wallowed in my own disappointment because I believed in a fairytale type of love. I thought, “if someone can dream it up, then they can make it happen.” I pushed myself to be what modeled my fantasy. I thought that if I could put myself in that storybook world then someone would love me like princes love princesses.

And I pushed a relationship for nearly 10 years to be that fairytale love. But no matter how hard I pushed, it just wouldn’t light up how I believed was possible. At first, I tried harder and harder, thinking if I was better, he would love me better. But as time went on, I developed a bit of resentment towards the man that I loved because he wasn’t giving me the relationship I always dreamt of and so patiently ushered him into. After his 28th birthday, he knew he wanted to get a home with me. After his 28th birthday, I knew I couldn’t commit to the absence of my fantasy any longer. I had to stop forcing a fairytale love.

The need to end things was a devastating realization for someone who thinks that people will love each other forever. But also, a liberating realization for someone who knows that real and whole love exists. It took a lot of days of feeling rejected before I acknowledged that I couldn’t push someone to be what they don’t want to be. And it took even more back and forth to truly acknowledge that someone can be a great person but not your person. In releasing the fantasy that I attached to my relationship, I affirmed to myself that fairytale love does exist. Because I saved myself from a future that wasn’t meant for me, just like how the princes save princesses.

Dear Unsealed Community,

When I was 19 years old, I knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted to chase my dream as a sportscaster. In pursuit of that dream,  I started working at the NBA. I commuted two hours from Columbia University to New Jersey, three days a week, because I was committed. I wanted to network with people who worked in sports. I wanted to hone my writing skills and learn more about the broadcasting industry. This job was supposed to be the first step to the rest of my life. But it nearly took me off course, and everyone, except me, thought I should be thrilled.

While working at the NBA, I met someone. He was my co-worker. We had the same schedule – or so I thought. I found out later that he was coming to work when he wasn’t scheduled to spend more time with me. We got along so well. We could talk for hours and hours about anything and everything. Soon after meeting, we started dating, and our relationship escalated quickly. Within a year, he left the NBA and began working in finance. We moved in together in an apartment in New York City and got engaged. I was only 21 years old – still a senior in college. He treated me well. We had no drama – no lying, no cheating, no bullshit—just two young people who genuinely enjoyed each other’s company.

He checked every box.

My parents were happy. My friends thought I was so lucky. And in society’s eyes, my life was going very well.

The only problem was that I was miserable. I was not ready to be someone’s wife. I didn’t want to sacrifice opportunities for my career for a relationship. My ring felt like a handcuff, chaining me to a life I didn’t yet want.

I stayed in the relationship for four years because, logically, we made sense. According to society, this relationship is what I should want. But I was so unhappy which led me to question myself more times than I could count.

“Why don’t I want this relationship?”

“How come I am not on cloud nine?”

“Isn’t this is what I should want?”

“Is there something wrong with me?”

Ultimately, it took every ounce of strength I had to end the relationship. It was one the most difficult decisions I have ever made, as I had to hurt someone I loved – someone who never would have hurt me.

However, I knew, long term, it wasn’t fair to either one of us if I stayed in a relationship that I didn’t genuinely want. In the days, weeks and months following our breakup, I felt a sense of relief and freedom. I pursued my career, moved out of New York, and I have since chased every single dream or goal I’ve ever had.

To this day, people still think I was crazy to end the relationship – especially since I am now 36 and single. But I have never had any regrets.

Looking back, I learned that sometimes we doubt ourselves when our desires differ from the expectations the world sets for us. But deep down, each of us know what we want, and all we need is the courage to pursue it relentlessly.

Be who you are – not who others expect you to be.

Dear Unsealers,
In a world ever changing technologically, it is sometimes difficult to keep up. I know this because I came to the computer late in life.
About 25 years ago I was hired as a pharmaceutical sales representative. My new employer handed me a computer and told me that everything I do in the field needs to be recorded on the computer. That included physician discussions, sampling activity and goals for the next sales interaction. In addition, I was told to set up my whole territory on excel sheets and create pie charts displaying market share. Oh my gosh! I was overwhelmed and terrified. Could I ever master this machine or would it be my great downfall?
I decided I was going to have to learn a new skill. I sought guidance and tutorials from my more knowledgeable peers. I practiced every night following the instructions as to how to do different tasks. Also, the company help desk employees became my good friends.
I discovered in myself that I could actually learn a new skill even when that skill seemed really daunting. Today I am pretty proficient on the computer. It feels like I climbed a tall mountain, got to the top, breathed in some fresh air and then patted myself on the back and screamed I did it!!

Shelley

To The Unsealed Community,

When I was ten years old, I was in love.

I grew up in the 1990s, and like most other girls in my generation, I thought Jonathan Taylor Thomas, aka JTT, was my future husband. He played Randy on Tim Allen’s Home Improvement. I had posters of him in my room, and I listened to love songs imagining the two of us on long walks in the park.

Ahead of my eleventh birthday, my father asked what I wanted as a gift.

I told my Dad, “I would like to meet JTT.”

My Dad chuckled and said, “What’s your second choice?”

I said, “Dad, there is no second choice. That is what I want.”

He told me he didn’t have that kind of power. So, I said fine and told him I would figure it out myself.

Later that week, I went on the internet and started searching. I knew there had to be a way to meet my crush. It wasn’t long before I stumbled across a charity event for Audrey Hepburn’s charity for children. The event hosted movie premiers, fashion shows, and after-parties with child stars in New York City, forty minutes away from my home. The list of child actors had to be one hundred deep: Mara Wilson, Michelle Trachtenberg, Rider Strong, Devon Sawa, and, sure enough, Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

Tickets for events were cheap – $10 -$40 per event, per person. So, for my birthday, my mother and I got a hotel room in the city, and I attended JTT’s premiere of the movie Wild America. I manipulated my way to the front of the crowd and befriended JTT’s security, who arrived at the theater a half hour before JTT did. As luck would have it, like every other man in the world, the security guard had a crush on my mother. I ended up in the elevator with JTT and got a picture and a kiss on the cheek. And then, he sat right behind me in the theater. I swear there were moments when he leaned forward, and I could feel him breathing on my neck. The next day at the fashion show, the security guard snuck us backstage. I met nearly every star there, and my 11-year-old self was in heaven.

One of the qualities I love most about myself is I go after what I want. I don’t take no for an answer. I believe I was born with this relentless and determined spirit.

Whether it was meeting JTT at eleven years old, becoming a sportscaster in my 20s, or starting a business in my 30’s, I have never taken “No” for an answer. No has always just meant, “Find another way.”

Through the years, the stakes have increased, and the challenges are sometimes even more unrealistic. But without looking back, I have continued after whatever I have wanted in life.

Even if some days are hard, I live life with no regrets, no what ifs or would have, could have, should haves.

And while I may not have married JTT, like I once planned. Going after him, along with all the other things I love in life, has made me love myself and all that I am even more.

Dear unsealed community,
When I was 23 years old I was living with my parents and 2 sisters in Nanuet,N. Y. My father, who was a chemical engineer, owned and aerosol factory. One night we got a call from the Haverstraw police. My father’s factory blew up in the middle of the night. My father drove the 20 minutes up to Haverstraw at 3:00am to see his building burnt to the ground. Thank goodness no one was hurt.
Unfortunately this event meant my Dad had to find another place to make a living. He was offered a job working for a company in Lima,Ohio. He was going to merge with this company before the fire. Now he was forced to go work for them. This turn of events led to a very scary time for me personally. My parents had to move away and leave me and my sister in New york where we were both enrolled in college.
For the next year I had so much anxiety and felt so sad. My parents were so far away. I missed them so much. I cried every night.
After a year I met my husband Alan. He was very comforting. He understood how I felt because he was very close with his family.He became my safe space.
Talking about my feelings with Alan, who was a great listener, helped to release my fears and anxieties. He even came with me the first time I went to visit my parents in Ohio. After a couple of years my coping skills became stronger and I mentally began to accept that I would never be able to live with my parents again. Time does tend to heal wounds. Having a safe space and person like my husband to support me is a gift I will appreciate for the rest of my life.

It was 12 months into the covid pandemic. It was a very challenging time for the world. Personally, I was struggling. I hadn’t seen my daughter for a year and only saw my son from a long distance a few times even though he lived close by.
Then we started to be feel bolstered by the fact that a vaccine was coming in April. Could this vaccine really change the trajectory of this virus? Could I see my daughter again who was isolated alone in a building in florida? A year is a very long time to to be separated from your child. I was hopeful but frightened.
What was I frightened about? Actually the exact thing that gave me hope at the same time really scared me as well. I wondered. Is this vaccine safe? How would it effect my health, my husband’s health and my children’s health. What would happen when they injected the virus into my body. I had always worked so hard to live a healthy lifestyle. Now I was putting a new vaccine into my body that did not have many years of research behind it. It was not just scary. It was terrifying.
Well the day came when my
husband and I had to drive to Jersey City Medical Center to get that first vaccine. We both were nervous but I decided to trust the scientists and pharmaceutical industry which I have been a part of for the last 45 years. Since Alan and I are older we were getting the vaccine before our children. This turned into another form of motivation for me. I thought I will take this vaccine to give researchers more information as to how people tolerate the vaccine. So we masked up to the point that Alan and I looked like astronauts going into space. We gave the nurse our information, rolled up our sleeves. I started to sob. I cried for several reasons. Sadness for all the suffering covid had brought to the world, fear I was going to die at that moment but most importantly I cried because I arrived at this moment where I found my bravery. I faced my fear took the shot and thought perhaps our world would turn around and we could reunite with love ones. Perhaps we could all live again. My tears eventually turned to joy and pride that day. Could there be a light at the end of this dark tunnel? Well I am here and thank goodness my family is too.

Historically anytime I really desired to do something that I really wanted to do I just did it, even though sometimes there would be doubt I would still do it. And anytime I just stayed in my comfort zone I almost never got what I desired. So now that I’ve experienced both getting out and staying in a com fort zone I know that going for what you desire is better than the regret of doing anything. Cause then you’ll live in regret, which weights tons
Right now as I write this letter I’m doing something that’s out of the box for me, which is a program I’m taking which once I accomplish I know it will make me a much better person. Also I desire to take this program for a long time and now I get to take the program after a long time attempting to find it.
Every time I go out of my comfort zone overall I actually always feel incredibly thankful that I took that jump because if I didn’t or refuse I know it will be on my mind until its accomplished one way or another.

Overall through the course of this letter I highlighted the consequence of now going after your dreams and staying in your comfort zone so with that being said I desire to say this last thing. Jack Canfield once said “You are not allowed to have a dream that you can’t make come true”. So go and accomplish your dream “You can’t spell the word goal without the word GO” so go do it, manifest it, accomplish it. You Can Do It!!!
P.S that last quote was one of my own.

As most young children, I had many different dreams for my future. For a while I was completely set on being a princess. I mean, who doesn’t want that true love that’s portrayed in all of the Disney movies? Over time I ditched the glitz and glamour dream for one a bit more adventurous: I wanted to be a spy! As expected, I didn’t end up pursuing that dream, but I definitely was an observant child. As I grew older, I toyed with the idea of pursuing a career as a teacher. I thought about what subject I’d teach, and for a while I said English and creative writing were my favorite, but that was until I found myself loving my psychology class. The idea of understanding how the brain worked and how people operate was so interesting to me, and over time it has become so much more for me.

Truth be told, I never saw myself pursuing a career in psychology, and honestly, I still don’t! I could have gone to a university and dove into the field, but I knew that meant more school and taking on thousands of dollars in debt. Instead of doing what everyone else was doing, I did what I felt was right for me, and that was working full time and moving out of my parents’ place. At 19, even though most of my friends were either staying with their parents or living in a dorm, I still felt that I was getting out of there too late. Since the age of seven, I had been living with functioning alcoholics who didn’t seem to enjoy each other’s company. I witnessed angry arguments, suffered emotional and verbal abuse, and knew too much about adult issues as a child. I knew that being in that space with my parents was not healthy for me, and I had to get out as soon as possible. As I sit here at 27, after going through years of being on different anxiety medications and seeing different therapists, I feel so blessed to live in a time where mental health is being discussed, and I want to be part of that discussion.

In my parents’ generation, and really all of the older generations, mental health was not something that was well known or talked about. People didn’t discuss how childhood trauma affects you later on in life, or how there is usually a psychological reason for addiction, so they all did their best with the information they knew. Nowadays, there is more access to different types, of therapy, as well as helpful resources that are free online. When you know more about yourself and how your brain developed, it makes it easier to understand yourself. For me, growing up in a chaotic environment had an effect on my nervous system, and this was something I discovered once I was living out on my own with my boyfriend. I was so ready to escape from the constant screaming and arguing and just be with the person who made me the happiest. Going from chaos, to a quiet, loving environment was everything I needed, but it didn’t feel that way at first.

Once we were settled into our new apartment, I had a sense of relief and I felt like I was finally in control of my life. Unfortunately, early on it was apparent that I was obsessed with control and I still felt this irritability and anger deep down inside me. I’d find myself having many “off” days and days where I would have complete breakdowns, and it honestly only made me angrier because I couldn’t understand why this was happening. I felt like my brain was on fire and I was constantly racing some imaginary clock that I could never catch up to, and I was always so hard on myself. It wasn’t until I saw a therapist who actually listened to me that I actually felt like I understood myself. She explained how being in an unpredictable environment as a child can lead to the need to control, and helped me find healthy ways to cope with my anxiety. I finally started feeling like there was hope for me and I would be able to live happily without medications, and I am lucky to say that I am doing that today.

Seven years ago, I embarked on a healing journey that I am still on today. I tried different anxiety medications over long periods of time, and even took breaks when I probably shouldn’t have. I saw therapists that I didn’t find helpful, and still hung around toxic people. I still had my breakdowns, but breakthroughs as well, and I over time I learned to acknowledge those. Over the years, I had questioned many things about myself and my life, but there was one thing I knew, and that was that I wanted to raise a family in the future. When I was thinking about my future, I knew that I wanted to be a calm mother who didn’t project her own anxieties onto her kids. I knew that I wanted their father to be someone who I enjoyed seeing every day, and we’d have a love that our children would admire and strive for. I knew that if I wanted these things in my life, that I had to be dedicated to my healing and mental health.

I’d like to say that I was going to therapy for me, but it initially was for my boyfriend. I knew I had a great person by my side, and he truly deserved me at my best self. He didn’t have to deal with my angry outbursts or my coldness, and I didn’t want to keep giving that to him. He saw who I was beneath all of the anxiety and fear from the beginning, and to this day, he still helps me in every way he can. At my lowest, he helped me set up my appointments and would accompany me to them, and today he appreciates and acknowledges my growth. I look forward to the future to when we have a family of our own, knowing we will be able to take the knowledge we have and raise our children in a healthy, loving environment. Of course, life still has challenges, and there is always going to be growing to do; now that I have developed better coping skills, I am able to look to the future with visions of hope and positivity, rather than fear and anxiety. Learning from my therapist taught me so much about myself, and I truly believe everyone can benefit from therapy. Unfortunately, not everyone has access to therapy, which is why it is important to spread awareness by spreading our stories and sharing resources.

My dream may seem like a simple dream: have a husband and some children- but it is so much deeper than that. Of course, that is my dream for myself and my future family, but overall, my dream is for everyone to be their best selves. Some people may feel like they don’t deserve it, or maybe it feels like healing will be impossible, but this is the best time to do it. People may feel there is still a stigma around going to therapy, but there is nothing wrong with wanting better for yourself. Mental health is finally being talked about more regularly in media and on larger platforms, and the more awareness we spread, the more of us can heal. I truly believe that if everyone learned how to love themselves and stop judging themselves so harshly, the world would be a better place. I honestly also still believe that we all deserve that love that princesses get in the Disney movies! This is why I joined this community, and this is why I continue to raise my voice about mental health and spreading love- I believe that we can all be a dream.

Imagine a world where you developed the confidence and positive mindset that you CAN achieve ANYTHING you put your mind to, and just give it a try and go do it!
Don’t fear that your weakness or negative mindset will take over.
You may be completely shocked by the outcomes, but here’s the truth:
You’ve had this positive mindset and confidence in you ALL along.

Trust me when I say this:
I NEVER thought I’d see the day where I would finish this extremely challenging 40in.x 60in. commission painting of a customer’s NYC apartment view.
I NEVER even thought I’d get opportunities THIS huge, in regards to being a small art business owner;
However, this opportunity and the progression of this painting throughout almost an entire year of so many hours and days of hard work, the time dedicated, and the skills obtained,
has finally raised the high hopes for me to know in my heart, that I’ve needed all along.
It helped me feel that I really have been capable ALL along, to step outside of my comfort zone by doing this sort of challenge, and I can accomplish so much more, all while chasing my dreams as a creative and disabled artist.

This IS why I never give up. It is because of these accomplishments that may “appear” so small in my eyes, but continue to open many others other bigger doors in my artistic journey.

This city painting may just be the one commission that would help make my whole “tiny”, not so “well-known” art business to truly thrive, and finally allow my artwork to reach and bring joy to many more individuals, as I have always wanted it to.

This should be an example for you all to NEVER give up, and to not ever fear to step outside of your own comfort zone. This should be an inspiration for you all to never stop holding on to what you hope, dream, and live for.

I was once there;
before this painting commission, I doubted myself in more ways than any 27 year old should.
I am now recently 28 years old, and I am starting to finally try and refuse allowing myself to feel any sort of doubt or let my negative mindset control me from any individuals’ negative words or judgements.

The positive and optimistic “Alexandra” …IS out there, and despite her letdowns, and her hardships, along with anyone who has ever doubted her or continues to doubt her,
She is finding the strong woman she has always had inside of her this entire time;
more than EVER before.

Each day is a new beginning, and a chance for new positive opportunities to arise.

It is important to keep in mind that when one door closes, another BIG one opens…
And those “doors” for opportunities will ALWAYS be there, and will never stop coming or opening.

Never stop chasing your dreams;
And if anyone tries to doubt you, know in your heart that you have had the strength and confidence in you all along to believe in yourself to fulfill your dreams.
You have always had it in you for you to be able to develop the skills to see past the ones who doubt you, and continue to thrive and truly be who and where you have always wanted to be.

Always remember:
One opportunity can and WILL open many other doors for you if you continue to never give up on chasing your truest dreams.

-Alexandra “Allie” Mazzola

As far as a childhood dream, there was always baseball player or basketball player. Things like that. But at about the same time I realized those were far fetched, I realized that all I really wanted was to emulate my parents and make them as proud of me as possible. I realized that nothing would be more important. Seeing how they took care of me and my brother and sister made me know that this was all I wanted. And everything would fall in place after that. Modest? Maybe. But it was plenty enough for me
I guess the challenges of realizing the dream came in the form of every day life. The struggles. The potential wrong paths to hopefully not go down. Situations that would arise that would test my resolve to do what my parents would do. Then as I grew older and didn’t have kids, I was never able to think like a parent and put myself exactly in their shoes. Being on my own at college was when I first had to think “what would mom and dad want me to do”? Because they weren’t there with me.It took some getting used to.
My why is pretty simple : just to be the best Jim Corrao that I can. Like my parents, I live a pretty modest life. They had their fun w gambling trips, golf trips for dad, things like that. But they always put us first and never let anything distract them from taking care of us. I try to do the same with people around me- take care of them, support them. Just be a good person. Live a good life, be a good brother and friend , and make my parents proud. That’s what drives me
I’m glad I have my why because it made me what I am today. Perfect? Not even close. Were my parents perfect? Nope. But as they got older and nearing their passing, I knew that the only thing to do was be with them and do whatever possible for them. I did that. And I will never have regrets in that regard. They are gone now, but their voices are as vocal as ever in my mind. Still helping me. To help them and still hear them is why I’m glad I never gave up on my why. Thanks for laying the blueprint mom and dad. Love you and miss you. But I still hear you 🙂
James Corrao

Dearest she,

I never took the time to thank you; You have carried me through these trials with patience.
I have bled, scarred, and rejuvenated under your tutelage.
I am grateful for your reminder to be better than the shadows that have always followed me so diligently; while darkness spread, you molded caves of truth. As you roamed in the deep crevices of my sentiments, you fabricated dimensions of safety. Cautiously translating those corrupted images into languages only you and I could ever comprehend.
Frankly, I am pained by the routes you have taken. These heels, carved with your roots, still seem to find their way through the trees. I turned a blind eye to the breadcrumbs of my ancestors while passing the familiar yet empty roadstead, only for the outcome to be the same. I am grateful for your beautiful insanity, courage, and your uniqueness.
Carefully cultivated on your terms, I carry your teachings with me as I do my mothers.
I stand forever indebted to you for never shielding me from opportunity.
Your passion has kept me in constant fruition. There is no one I would rather travel through this metamorphosis we call life. I may not have treated you with the fairness you deserved throughout these years.
You have never disregarded my tears.
You have used them to water my fears so I may face them with you by my side. You have demolished my dragons. Your sword has yielded my path towards greatness.
Someone once said that in unity, there is strength, and together we are one.
This matrix may be deadly, but all my strength has come from the cries of our wars.
I am she, you are me, and we are together. There is no “one” dream. I have many. I will keep pushing and shoving through the heavy waterfalls I blindly throw myself in.
I know now that the love I found within you, self, I am strong and can do it all.
Thank you.

Love has taken me many places and taught me so many important lessons. I truly believe that love is the best teacher in the world. Love is vast and can change your life. This is what love has taught me over the years and is what motivates me to make it through the dark days and to celebrate the beautiful ones.
The Greeks had seven words for the emotion of love. I have always loved this fact since I learned it when I was younger. The form of love that always stood out to me was Agape, which is the word for empathetic, universal love. My younger self was drawn to that because I realized that this type of love I felt in my bones, a love that connects the world.
This idea of love that can exist between anyone on earth was very moving to me when I was very ill with a Bipolar disorder and a Neurological condition. This condition was caused by the medication I was taking for my Bipolar disorder and ended up having to have multiple brain surgeries. Not only did the idea of Agape help me to survive this very dark time in my life, but love in general gave me strength to always move forward. I was in the hospital for two months with a brain infection. My parents love, love from friends, love in any form, was what pushed me through.
I worked hard to get better not only physically, but emotionally as well. Learning to lead with love has been such a gift to my life. I finally feel healthy both physically and emotionally. This is something I quite honestly believed might not ever happen for me.
Love changed my mind. Love saved me and has motivated me to be the best version of myself.