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shelleybrill shared a letter in the
Women's Empowerment group 1 years, 6 months ago Love was my Safe Haven
Shelley BrillDear unsealed community,
When I was 23 years old I was living with my parents and 2 sisters in Nanuet,N. Y. My father, who was a chemical engineer, owned and aerosol factory. One night we got a call from the Haverstraw police. My father’s factory blew up in the middle of the night. My father drove the 20 minutes up to Haverstraw at 3:00am to see his building burnt to the ground. Thank goodness no one was hurt.
Unfortunately this event meant my Dad had to find another place to make a living. He was offered a job working for a company in Lima,Ohio. He was going to merge with this company before the fire. Now he was forced to go work for them. This turn of events led to a very scary time for me personally. My parents had to move away and leave me and my sister in New york where we were both enrolled in college.
For the next year I had so much anxiety and felt so sad. My parents were so far away. I missed them so much. I cried every night.
After a year I met my husband Alan. He was very comforting. He understood how I felt because he was very close with his family.He became my safe space.
Talking about my feelings with Alan, who was a great listener, helped to release my fears and anxieties. He even came with me the first time I went to visit my parents in Ohio. After a couple of years my coping skills became stronger and I mentally began to accept that I would never be able to live with my parents again. Time does tend to heal wounds. Having a safe space and person like my husband to support me is a gift I will appreciate for the rest of my life.
Shelley,
This letter made me tear up a little bit. I could not imagine having to endure your parents moving what I’m sure felt like across the country. To hear you mention a city in Ohio that holds so much personal connection to me. Through my train photography hobby I’ve chased a particular Steam Locomotive across this whole state it seems. It was built in September of 1944 in Lima, Ohio. One of the fellow locomotives of that series sits on display in nearby Bellevue, Ohio at a museum. And although most of the wag across the state I’ve made many visits to Lima, a city still abuzz with manufacturing, it is where the Abrams Tank that is essential to our military might is built. It also home to a refinery which supplies 25% of all petroleum products in the entire state. Your parents moved to what could’ve been the true heartbeat of Ohio both then and now. That city shares with Youngstown a storied past and an ambitious future. I’m glad you wrote about this experience. Alan was the the harbor during a storm in your life and it is amazing what you’ve both accomplished together. Thanks for sharing this story with us!
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This is touching, and we don’t realize when we’re growing up that one day we would have to do without our parents. We figured that they will always be with us, until they’re not. It’s very hard, but as you stated, you do heal, you do one day get passed that, but it’s hard at first. What makes it better is when you find someone else to help feel that void, but the void for your parents, can never truly be filled, but it helps to have another/more love ones at your side. I’m not sure how it is when the parents wasn’t the best in their children lives. Those kids/children may feel a total different way and we can’t know that if we grew up with great/decent parents.
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Isn’t crazy how growing up looks so different for everyone. I can’t imagine what that must have felt like to have your parents move away. I’m so glad that you were able to find your person. Time does heal all wounds and talking about it often helps heal you. We truly don’t realize how fast we’re growing up until we’re forced to become fully independent. Thank you for sharing.
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