Your pages are torn and shredded yet the story inside is so compelling.
It’s one you can’t put down, as you anticipate what’s to come.
You’ve been handled so rough but your binding stays unharmed.
You mustered up courage to survive the harsh storms.
You who was once closed off and unable to share the contents inside.
Has now become my favorite novel full of surprises.
You were afraid of the world and pressures of life.
Now you embrace the challenge with a smile so bright.
The story of you is no longer hidden.
You learned to love wide open, unafraid of what’s written.
You ignore the corrections made by critics.
As you are the author of this life and of you.

Self love
What is self love?
Self love is:
Loving yourself
Appreciating yourself
Growth
Happiness
Accepting
Well-being
Self love
It’s different
For everyone

I’ve struggled
With self love
With loving myself
With accepting myself
My whole life
It’s been a journey
Finding myself again

I’ve been
Made fun of
Teased
Bullied
For how I look
For my size
For the scars
On my body

You’re so small
How tall are you?
What size shoe do you wear?
You’re so small
You’re head is a hand rest
I could shove you
In my pocket
You’re a midget
Pint-sized
A shrimp
Kids are taller than you
What’s with all the scars?
Why do you have them?
Look at her tummy?
It’s all messed up
She’s got two belly buttons
Look at her neck?
She’s got a hole in it

Kids are mean
Kids are bullies
Kids are cruel
Kids don’t understand
Becoming the girl with the tummy scars
Becoming the girl with the hole in her neck
Becoming the small girl with tiny feet

I was embarrassed
By my scars
But I know now
They show strength
They show I survived
They show I lived
Despite the odds
Despite the complications
The multiple surgeries
I endured as a baby

I wished my feet were bigger
To fit into real women’s shoes
But now I don’t mind
Having small feet
I can fit into kids shoes
Finding shoes for cheap
I still can fit into women’s shoes
If I’m looking for something fancy

I always wished I was taller
Like it wasn’t fair
The tall gene skipped me
Like why?
But I have expected my size
I can fit into kids clothes
For cheaper
I can still find lots of cute things
In smaller sizes
I can fit anywhere
I can push my way
Up to the front of concerts
I’ve Learned to climb
Things with ease
To reach high things
I’m not small
I’m fun size

So yeah
It took awhile
To find myself again
To love my self again
To accept my self again
To love my body again
To accept my flaws
To love my flaws

I’m still learning everyday
To love myself
To accept myself
To love my body
Scars, flaws and all
Some days are better than others
But I’m no where near where
I was before

Life feels dark and gray
despite any good, I feel myself going astray.
Chaos in my mind and sadness in my soul
Most days I’d like to curl up inside a little hole.
What I love about myself most
is even when it’s dark, give up? I don’t.
Wallow for a moment, feel it and let go-
What is this teaching me, how can I grow?
It won’t feel like this forever so I need to just flow.
Love that I find balance between discipline and rest.
I swear, not judging yourself amidst the chaos will leave you feeling your best.

Beautiful me,

It’s been a while! There has been so much noise around us that it makes it feel like we are far away. But that’s impossible. I am always within you, embracing your heart and soul every step of the way.

I want to say: Thank you for everything! Thank you for the life you have given me! I need to tell you because I can hear your thoughts sometimes, doubting and being so hard on yourself. Please stop that! You have made me incredibly resilient! Ever since we were little curly-haired babies, you have dared to run towards your biggest fears and you keep overcoming them; You wanted to see the world, and here you are, calling home the most incredible places you could ever dream of. You have challenged yourself and you conquered with kindness, hard work and imagination.

Thank you for being funny! Yes, you are undeniably funny! Even when you don’t want to or even try, you bring smiles to your loved ones and even stranger’s faces. You are always praising people that you think have what you call “transparent souls”, and I am here to tell you that you feel so drawn to them because YOU ARE one of them!

Thank You for being so strong and breaking up with that due when you had to! Freeing our time and our path to open up to the most beautiful time of your life so far.

Thank you for giving us time alone, to actually get to know and most importantly, love ourselves.
Thank you for doing the work! For realizing that sadness and misery were not our natural states, and you got us out of there! You forgave the world, but most importantly, you forgave yourself!

Thank you for all the sad moments where we have held ourselves with compassion and patience leading us again to the ways of happiness, contentment and peace.

And lastly; Thank you for getting yourself some traveling poopourri! Saving ourselves from anxiety and providing the comfort to liberate our bodies at any point that we need! It is indeed the little things that make so much impact!

I hope you hear me and feel me again soon! I can’t wait to laugh with you with all our lungs.

Love you and admire you infinitely, always!
Beautiful me <3

To the girl whose always given others love,
It’s time you put yourself above.

You’ve always had to care for others,
so this year, love yourself a little harder.

Love your laugh, your smile, & the way that you glow.
Love yourself enough to tell other people “no.”

You are brightness, you are love, you are more than you think.
You are creative, you are clever, you are the missing link.

You’ve cried for nights & been through hurt,
You’ve been through fights, your name dragged through dirt.

Love yourself enough to heal & be better.
Know that along the way you may ruffle some feathers.

Love yourself enough to always protect your mind,
Love yourself enough to remember to be kind.

Even when people aren’t very kind to you,
Do it cause you know it’s the right thing to do.

You’re empathetic, loving, and deserve all the wealth,
So this year, remember to live for yourself.

My aura is black.
Black because they tried to singe me with deeds,
Black like the sooty soil that nurtures her seeds.
Black because before they knew who I was,
When I was given no choice or even some gauze
Black like the bird that sings to be free
Black because my memories haunt me

Black like the sheep who’s breaking chains.
Black like the hole that’s swallowing pain.
Black like the smoke twirling up through the sky
Black like the panther and her silent battle cry
Black like the ash that softens the earth
Black because now she knows her worth

Black like THAT little dress, brilliant;
the one that makes every woman feel resilient.
Black like the lace of her wings
Black in the sky that midnight brings
Black like the velvet in her gentle coos
Black like silk skin that into she grew

So now instead of green, red, or indigo
My aura is black
Black like obsidian
Black like pearls
Black like geodes
Black because my shadows healed it so.

Dear Lauren Grace,

This love letter to you is in the form of a poem, because, as you know, I can’t find the right way to directly express myself. I love you.

Here we go:

I looked at them
My love has always flowed
In their direction, though
Cried painful streams of tears
But it never came my way
Overlooking my soul everyday

To him to her
To me?
Who’s that?
Who’s she?

I had never cared to see
What’s shining inside,
‘Til you finally caught my eye.
Sparkling, glimmering,
Amongst the stars in the sky.

I started thinking it’s love
I started thinking
You’re all I’ve ever dreamed of.
You’re the love you give out,
I apologize for years of doubt.

Then I fell,
Could’ve stayed down,
Saw no one was around,
I pushed myself off the ground.
Then suddenly, the sun was shining down
On me.
I saw me.

Now I cherish your pain, sweet girl.
Now I praise your name, sweet soul.

If I don’t love you,
Nothing else matters.
If I don’t love you,
Who else will?

What do I need from me?
It feels it has to come from someone else.
But now I’ve become somebody else,
And I’m seeing my truth.
My whole heart belongs to me.

All the need I love is within me.

I feel you breathe everyday.
I hear you talk away the pain.
I hear the thoughts that nearly,
Knock you down.
I see the dreams,
The nightmares,
The hopes,
things they’ll never see.
I can see you Lauren Grace.
And I love you wholeheartedly.

With Unconditional Love,

Lauren Grace

I stand aware of its immensity, the power to which we cling.
It moves thru us so differently, the” I” the “We.”
Love cleverly defines everything.
Am I to believe its virtue arrives with stipulation?
Only when I am not in good favor.
Only when the door tilts open and my conscience is clean.
Why not Now, as I stumble or stand curious, pausing so I can remain open to the larger story, the one that moves forward, the one that leaves no one behind; Not the “I” nor the “We.”
My “Only When” loses step, non-apologetically softens, lessening its grip and so too does the small gap in the light open to becoming Now.

Darling,

It’s been way too long. Where do I even start? I’ve been waiting for the right time to send this and realized I should have sent it when I saw you fighting your way through a storm. Please forgive me for taking so long to connect. I may have been silent but you have always been on my mind.

I am so sorry you were put in a position where your confidence was whittled away until you were left with only the shards remaining of your once fearless spirit. I’m amazed by your strength and resiliency though. Your determination to get back to that place where self-assurance radiates from deep within is impressive. I love that although your journey has been anything but easy, you are finding the beauty in uncovering the person that had slipped away. You are discovering new ways every day to mend your wounded soul. I promise to be there for you to steady you through all of the maelstroms and to show you how deserving you are of a life overflowing with love and joy.

Exquisite woman, take this moment in. You put yourself in a box with no openings for far too long. You thought you were lost forever. Buried so long, it seemed impossible that you would ever be uncovered. Years of torment that only you can describe. The seed was planted long ago but the clouds overshadowed when the verbal assaults aimed at you started to invade your thoughts as you tried to determine if the words rang true. The rain dried up when your body became a battlefield for the anger and intolerance. You weren’t given the opportunity to grow the way you deserved but you have shown your strength. The sky has opened and the sun is peeking through.

You have taken the shattered pieces of your soul and crafted them into a mosaic of learned lessons, new discoveries and recovered blessings. I hope you see all the incredible qualities that we do. Your gentle spirit, your kindness that has no limits as well as your ability to see the good in all. You have managed a career and a household and through it all you have kept your sense of humor. The care and nurturing you have shown your three wonderful sons has well-prepared them to go out and tackle the world. You are brave, strong and intelligent. You are beautiful inside and out. You are enough and have always been enough. Your uniqueness and your confidence in embracing it stands out. My heart smiles when I think of you! I hope you know how valuable and cherished you are. I want you to feel peace like you have never felt before. My wish for you is to emerge from the chaos feeling more courageous, happier and deserving of the greatest kind of love.

The next time you look at your reflection in the mirror and you are trying to determine what to prioritize next, I hope that you look at that gorgeous girl with the beautiful smile and say pick me and you do. Remember your worth. There is something inside you that is greater than any battle you encounter. Keep breathing new life into every day and shine on. Hold on to those dreams. Your wild imagination will help you take flight and soar to heights you thought impossible. I can’t wait to stand with you as you step into a marvelous future and a life filled with happiness.

Love Always,

The Girl Inside

P.S. Keep going, you are doing amazing!

I am love up above
Flying high in my kaleidoscope eye
I am selfish in leaving crumbs
Make you and I want more from just a touch
To be free I need me, yes baby all of me
Let your tears drop, firm and sent, but we cannot stop holding on to something thought long gone
Let it go and use your words, mind powerful, do not say that curse
Pull your veil back, the stars align because heaven is calling you ‘Oh Divine!’
Open your hands you sculpt the world of your dreams, continue on
I’ll guide the way, protect your light because we are so much better combined Beaming like the Sun and demure like the Moon
I am me… fierce, fresh and fun
No time like today, impatient in victory of us
Creation in every move we make, swirls of life just speak them into existence where others cannot
I am you in your boldest moment, all encompassing love pushed to places you thought not
For we are beauty, yes love I am
Timeless

I took a secret trip to Europe and didn’t tell anyone
I wanted to feel freedom and chase the sun
Didn’t want to think, I just wanted to BE
Too tired of hopping around waiting to be seen
I wanted what I wanted so much
, I wasn’t ready
So I left and waited for my green light, I had go and prepare
I found myself quiet in awe of ancient beauty
Got lost and found with history and foodies
Listening to waterfalls and people pass
Coming back to realize I was home at last

I took a secret trip to Europe and only told a few
This familiar space I recognized felt anew,
The past, a present, so present was I
A child like wonder I found in others now in I
Found triggers and the reason they were aflame
Understood my love why it ran away
Walked until my thoughts made sense of that day
Wasn’t till I was home that I found the courage for what I needed to say
I let someone else lead so I could be a tourist.
Found my imagination and what she was waiting for
To speak up, to be free, and to use her unapologetically

I took a secret trip to Europe and didn’t tell anyone
I fell in love, changed my hair, got lost, partied, slept off the day
Rescued myself and my sisters, was accused and accused others – we were all guilty parties
I Laughed, I walked 50 miles, had the best sandwich of my life, got found then lost again, handled business, prayed for my brother,
And found my peace,my calm, my fight, and my joy.

The beauty of travel is the freedom of self
To see me through your eyes help me redefine my self
and it’s worth, now I know I’m made of gold
I got to live, adventure, make mistakes and I realized I’m a sight to behold and tons of fun.
So I’m going to take another trip somewhere and not tell anyone

Her warm curls crash over my pillow
Like the morning tide,
There is wild even in the slit of her eyes,
She holds the sun in her chest
Beneath her breast is starlight and dreams
I love her,
Even when she is a hurricane storm
Hurling fists and misery
Her sands of time
Turns to sharp glass lining those eyes of rage
I love her so ever more
It’s those eyes
that keep me safe.

All this time
And I never wrote a note to me
So here’s to me.
Dear me,
You can be so hard to see
This girl who
Always had it easy
Or so that’s what they see
Heavy is heartbreak
But you were never made to carry this weight
So you grew in strength.
I wish it was as simple
as telling you how proud I am.
Imagine me holding your hand
You walk into dark rooms
You stand in flames
You shine when it rains
You and I are the same.
Giving has always been easy
But receiving and feeling
Leaves room for healing.
They will teach you lessons of sacrifice
But darling you only need to play nice
With the girl who looks back at you in the mirror,
For her burden is light.

I love myself cause God first loved me

I love myself because I didn’t like the old me .

I love myself because I am my longest commitment

But to love myself ain’t all rainbows and butterflies

To love myself means
to lose myself over and over again —in the process

I love myself because no one else was up for the challenge

I love myself because I wanna love you better and I can’t without it

I love myself because home should feel safe, freeing, and calming

I love myself because I don’t wanna keep on running

I love myself because I don’t need instant gratification

I love myself because I’m willing to wait and sacrifice for all things meant for me

I love myself because I owe it to myself to say goodbye to the old me

I love myself because I don’t wanna be 35, partying & hoeing

I love myself because I know what I want & I’m determined to work hard & go get it

I love myself because I can apologize when I realize of my wrong doings

I love myself because Depth — is hard to find

& Superficial — is depressing and boring

I love myself because Ik I don’t know it all
& Im willing to continue learning

I love myself because I love the world around me

I love myself because I’m humble and loving

I love myself because I want to give back & show my appreciation & gratitude to the one who
—despite my imperfections & flaws—

still chooses to love me ❤️🙏🏽

These are some of the reasons why

I love me

Mirror

I look into the eyes
Of the woman in the mirror
Breathe deep
And say
Those who said
You were hard to love
Were misinformed

Every holy man of old
Used to say
“Love thine enemies”
Maybe they include
All those dark inside places
Where you were told
You can’t be loved

I have roses on my tongue

Velvet kisses, words with thorns

I have magnolias in my eyes

Silver petals that mesmerize

Orange blossoms on my chest

Cover my heart with their zest

I have orchids for my navel

Like a sprite from woodland fable

Through my waist and far below

Hidden garden with its glow

My body, vase of stems and leaves

Ivy wrapped around my knees

Small bouquet of scent and wonder

Arranged for all to gaze and ponder

Tend my garden, see me grow

Water daily, love will flow

Then pick my flowers with delight

For they’ll come back throughout the night

A beautiful love letter filled with the most beautiful array of scents
My Aroma refreshes the page that it is written on
My story brightens the letter of love which fills my heart
When I think about the letters of my past, my pen smiles, knowing how they designed the best version of myself
The one that sits and writes this letter
A love letter to myself , what beauty it must be
To wake up to this masterpiece I call me
Love letter to myself, not the old me
The one who has overcame the pain and trauma the helped define me
Love letter to myself, not the girl you once knew
But the woman who walks with confidence knowing she is not through
Love letter to myself, I must say I’m proud of you
I admire you and congratulate you
Love letter to myself, who else would I address it to
You are fearfully and wonderfully made, Special Occassia that you

As I stand looking in this mirror,
I’ve never seen myself any clearer.
I know it took longer than it should
But I finally love myself more than I thought I could.
There were nights that I didn’t believe
I’d ever be truly be happy just being me.
However, now I can clearly see
Depression was never a match for me.
I beat my own nightmares
I beat them all
Every night my terrors
Would again make me fall.
But the fire in my heart would always prevail;
For every time I fell, more love for myself, I would inhale.
It would have been easy for me to run
But to my darkness, I would not succumb.
Now the fire in my heart is also in my eyes
And I love myself more every morning that I rise.