A silent thought that now demanded my attention.
The universe knew exactly how to reveal this to me.
A problem that I fixed had finally released me from its bind.
I was going home.
The road hugged my tires like excited friends reuniting,
Usually a 7 1/2 min walk, stretched to a 13 min run.
13 min , the length of a how to video that I’m sure I’ll be frequenting more.
The garage door
creaked opened &
I was ushered inside.
The love of my life,
I husband to her Bride
her face full of:
fear,
wonder ,
here,
follow me!
She exclaimed.
Every noise on the planet dissipated except our foot steps:
ile, carpet, tile.
The light switch felt like the weight of the world.
I found strength from your love to flip it.
A stranger awaited me in my own bathroom .
I was to confront this foe without any idea that my life had found the meaning i was searching for
A vacuum of time,
my life In the rear view.
Thankful that I saw words,
instead of lines on that clearview.
But I only see one, where is the “not?”
What a terrible malfunction,
how could they have forgot?
Then, the beacon of truth
began to break through the mystery.
Those 8 letters have the chance to
alter history:
PREGNANT
Every emotion that I’ve ever felt became
unified-
all the pain of my adolescence,
all the courage of my youth,
all the fun of my independence,
all the worry of my work,
all the adoration for your mom,
They All joined together
to bring me this unmatchable joy.
The true essence of what it means to feel happiness,
I get to be a dad to a beautiful Baby Boy.

I am grateful For:

My sons laugh, where his eyes close and he reveals a smile that heals every wound that’s ever been afflicted,

For the woman who has always been in my corner even when I was circling my darkest days,

For the abundance of energy that I curate and the way my attitude has shifted,

For my parents who worked hard and showed me the old ways,

For the fortitude I’ve been afforded when my troubles were consistent,

For the metal rods holding me together and there was no co pay,

For my friends that heard my poetry and made me perform, they insisted,

For my fellow vets who checked on me when they knew I wasn’t ok,

For the love I now give my body and the openness to holistics,

For me living with love and not having room for no hate,

For all my friends that deployed who were never injured by ballistics,

For the opportunity to switch school that I took back in 08,

For he work ethic instilled in me I project with persistence,

For the faith that i wont live forever, but my words will succumb to no date,

For the truth in my tongue that wants to help elevate extistince,

No late times in the grand design,

For the great spirit and to my future self I’m so faithful,

I hope I emanate all things I am so grateful.

You are a man who:
wears his beard fully,
not because he’s handsome but because uncle sam, doesn’t have a say anymore

A man who embraces that hint of wild man that he is

A man in the woods, only answering to the birds call

A man who knows not the name of every tree but all of their essence

A man who isn’t afraid of alarms anymore

A man whose son’s friends all want to meet

A man no longer confined by garmets who tried to garnish Vietnamese farmers

A man who travels the word sharing his love for poetry, enticing others to write their own story

He doesn’t care how sad or boring,
this man wants to illuminate a safe space for your allegory,

Because on any given day, your words may save someone’s life

A man grounded in the Earth
A man who doesnt fidget and twitch because his back doesn’t hurt

A man who doesn’t get anxiety between 5 and 6 PM anymore

A man that doesn’t lash out when he’s challenged by a loved one

A man who takes a deep belly breath each time

A man who’s presence alone makes people feel better about themselves

A man who’s wife always feel safe in his arms

A man that takes those wanting to fly, under his wing

A man….
that I think I’m
Pretty close to actualizing

Standing at a crossroads and I find my bones feeling lazy,
a vision towards my future but the road is hazy,

I always pour out to those who don’t realize that I’m giving them something sacred,

They let it spill over like the blood of the natives instead trying to save it.

So now I want to save myself, it was a happenstance of a chance , I told myself “let me go back for one more lap.”

I met a mystic whose mystique and music on the mountain drew me In, I felt like I was speaking to a feminine me,

she gave me.. a reading of tarot,
3 and 4 of swords, 8 of pentacles my heart was open but my mind still narrow.

She offered an invitation, “come, join us in a circle for an incantation

Oh, and bring a sacred vessel,
It’s contents can help remove impurities from your blood vessels.”

I found myself-
Surrounded by 7 goddesses, but I am not a god above them ,
In fact they welcomed this weary traveler so for that I love them

most were there because they wanted a change,
one was working through her social anxiety in the astral plane ,
one who was there, fulfilled her job as a mother, did you know a mothers love is like no other

In fact I felt it everywhere it invited this brother –
to lay his head on her lap ,
It said “come my child let your soul rest and take a nap.”

So as I drifted off between time and space,
I start to feel a tingle come upon my face

I felt my deep, rich, hot, blood being awoken ,
the spanish being spoken to the Spanish that left us broken.

Only hoping that my great, great, grandmother with high cheek bones and looooonng, flowing, raven hair was there.

And she was.

She explained to me that all we ever did was fight , now she’s asking me to rest ,

based off the four of swords during my reading, I think I will.

I felt a chill,
as the wind decided to inspect our ceremony- the clouds said “here follow me,”
the moon looked bigger I closed my eyes and a cloaked figure ,
invited me on to a boat ,

He “said do you want to see the future?

First you must see the fool and the fool is you.”

Using canabis to guide his canine to reveal the canines of the living shadow.

A monster, a myth, a mirror,
“come look inside my void and see yourself cleaner

Inspect your introspection ,ready front your reflection
Come, see that you’ve been so vulnerable.
Please give yourself some protection,

and on top of that- give yourself some love,
give yourself some patience,
and listen to yourself as your wisdom is amazing.”

I could hear this voice but was to afraid to face him, then I trusted myself and went to embrace him,

It was me, he was everything I’ve envisioned, now he’s the only person I look to when I make my decisions.

I said “you are so radiant, you’re exactly who I’m trying to be,”

he replied “good, you’re here finally but give yourself some time to be-

me, you, us, when I tell you something don’t second guess me, just trust . Ah ah ah, But no buts,

You’re here because you’re on the cusp of a new chapter,
to leave ink onto the first page you must first meet your master.”

First the mirror distorted, then the glass broke,
some footsteps approached it was the figure in cloak.

His presence was overpowering,
Emanating an energy at its zenith,

If I was faced with this Goliath then I must be David,
it was time for me to slay this behemoth.

But before I could unsheath my sword ,
I felt drawn to confront this chimera.

There I stood staring into
the blackness waiting for my terrors
to actualize,
I tore down his hood to meet his actual eyes.

It was me, again, looking even more divine than before.

He said “good, you passed the test because you don’t need to be afraid of yourself anymore!!!”

Then our guide brought us back to this plane,

I saw so much clarity to cut through that haze, this water sign now rolls with the waves as the moon beamed her rays, I give praise,

to this experience

as I’ve learned to shift my mind and my attitude ,

To live as my higher self, I will and I invite you, to always live with gratitude.

Thank you

I’ve always been very weary of the unknown and trying new things. Clothes, hobbies, especially food. Mom would try to get me to try new food. Me: “I don’t like it”. Mom: “you never tried it”. Me: “ but I know I won’t like it”. My ex girlfriend was mystified by that thinking lol. My buddy says he has a buddy just like me. Go to a restaurant. Try something new? Why bother? Why deviate from what I know ? From the known?
The most recent and somewhat terrifying comfort zone was two summers ago. I went to visit my ex girlfriend in Manhattan. She was working for her company in herald square. I hadn’t traveled since 2011. And now i would have to travel post Covid, to an airport in New Jersey , then catch a train to Times Square. Solo. This didn’t match well with my slight anxiety of crowds and the unknown. Lots of crowds. Lots of unknown. I got the courage because I was so excited to go visit her that I just ignored the nervousness, told myself that people do this all the time, and that I’d be fine. I gained the courage because I had no choice haha. But mainly because I couldn’t wait to go see her.
The outcome of leaving my comfort zone last summer was total success. I got there fine (with maybe a bit of help from some kind folks along the way). The joy of walking down Manhattan and realizing I was going the right direction was so joyful and satisfying. We had a great time. Friday ws one of the best days of my life. We saw so many places. So many new things. Even though she got a little sick on Saturday, I got sent on a solo errand while she rested. An easy one, but I did it. And we made the best of that night. And made it to Times Square the next day before I left. I was so glad that I went out on that ledge, so to speak. Turned out so great
My advice to anyone scared of the unknown (including myself) is to forget your fears and just go for it. Take the chance. I’m glad I did last summer that’s for sure. Live those new moments and experiences. I figure it’s better to try and realize it was a good idea or bad idea than to wonder what could have been. Except jumping out of a plane. I don’t need to try that particular adventure.haha. But conquering the unknown one little experience at a time can be pretty satisfying. This I’ve learned and hopefully will continue to do so
James Corrao

I want to be that guy that you can be free to speak your mind to, you can lean on all the time.

I want to be the mirror that helps you see yourself clearer, that encourages your true self to get a little nearer,

come and plays devils advocate for the angels make you look at things from different angles ,

Or I help the world value the person more than the work, Maybe I can help change minds to put people into trees instead of the dirt,

help be the change to say it’s OK to hurt

let me help you, because for so long we’ve been told it’s not ok to feel.

But that’s not real! Because every single person who will read this is struggling with something they may not admit,

or the pain and trauma they’ve suffered have caused them to forget

a healthy way to cope looking at life through the cross hairs of a rifle scope,
I want to help pull your finger away from the trigger and make it look towards hope,

Maybe I can help change the thought of 40 hours of work,
Instead, give those people 40 hours of freedom from all these imposed rules of life and society.

Imagine what this world would be like if we all were able to pursue what makes us happy,

I really mean it think about it. I don’t mean to get sappy

it’s just everyone that you meet seems to be drained at least a little bit of joy,
how do I find a way to intersect with my inner boy?

The world is so hell bent on getting another dollar or getting another follow,
but we lack soul and substance our bodies are merely hollow,

I want to help fill people with things that leave them fulfilled
where all we worry about is things that leave us with thrill instead of worried about bills.
The best way to do that is to embody that thought and let it it flow out.

I challenge you to do something you love today, let loose and show out !

Can I write something for future me ? Because I know he’s be so proud of what current me, is currently doing.

Undoing 10 years of an identity, that was never meant for me.

Preparing the path to intersect with him, and finding healthy ways to cope mentally

Especially, since they did him kind of dirty

It’s never to late to start over.
Even if your thirty

It may seem a little scary
No, it’s terrifying

a leech in my mind slowly sapping away at times-
that should be spent living…
Sorry I gotta focus on surviving,

But first, I need to get out of bed. I’ve been trying to convince every piece of me to talk again,
no part of me ever grieved the fact that I had to learn how to walk again

Extremely well taken care of body, sold my soul for employment,
22 years old a broken vertebrae on deployment?

Came back to the states and didn’t know that I was in for the change of my life,
for the next four months, I was forboding going under the knife.

“But I’m 22, I’m in incredible shape,”

“I’m sure you are son, but you see this x ray? This is a clear break”

“You made a mistake, it was just some discomfort , I only felt a pinch”

Dr said, “I can tell you’re upset I’m gonna give you a bit. “

There I sat, main character to my own horror movie, blood became curdling

The words escaped my lips like death row inmates –
“I’m getting surgery”

There I lay, a husk of my former self ,

my right thumb begging the vicodin to drip faster, no wonder this is controlled.
I cried as soon as the nurse left, I’m 22 years old.

Could barley take care of my self ,
I wouldn’t have ate if my boy chav never came,
I felt so embarrassed to use a walker, only a little lesser with a cane.

But day by day , I did my best to get stronger , those slow painful walks would ease and become longer.

I was really worried that I’d never be able to swing a bat again,
To strengthen my back ,
I first needed to strengthen my glutes, hips, and abdomen .

Everyday after work, I’d do a light jog, yoga, then mobility,
trying to stifle the disdain of my depleted ability,

Before I was poetic, I found solace in athletics,
55 yard throws, home runs over 350, 4.7 forty, benching 250,
33 inch vert…
all that stuff went away when I got hurt.

I gained a bunch of weight lost all my range of motion ,
I was willing to do black magick take an elixir or a potion.

But, one day by the ocean,

Feet in the sand, and my head in my hands, I realized …
I had to love my body because for everything it went through,
it still lets me stand.
Now as a man,

I realize I’ll never be in the same shape I was when I was 21,

don’t need to be a good athlete anymore, just do my job and play with my son.