Hello to my younger self
We’ve came a long way and,
I’m going to tell you a little of our journey
When you hit those bumpy roads and feel lost, remember you’re actually finding out who you are meant to be.
You are going to go through some tough roads and hit rock bottom a few times and you will get lost, you’re going to ask yourself ab […] View
I am a 36 year old woman and wife to my 39 year old husband. My husband was diagnosed with primary progressive MS in 2013 the year we met and also got married (when you know you know!) At first the only visible sign from the outside looking at him was his gait and poor balance, he always appeared to be drunk when you watched him walk. From his perspective, he could no longer see out of his right eye, which became permanent, he was retaining urine which was not safe, he was having a hard time doing his job which involved using his hands and fine tools due to neuropathy like symptoms. Now he uses a cane and a walker and takes medication for spasms in his legs. Now he has also bein diagnosed with major neurocognitive disorder which is a basic open term for dementia. I am his caregiver with the help of a home health aid 12 hours a week. Neither of us expected to be in this position when we met in January of 2013 and married that September. It progressed rather fast and more than likely won’t stop. My husband has a great attitude though which is amazing for him, and so hard for me sometimes, I’ll admit. Sometimes I want to talk about everything and cry, but he already pushed it out and doesn’t think about it like I do somehow. He’s teaching me in his own way how to be more optimistic and less stressed over things you can’t control. I have my own illnesses, mental illnesses, that flare so to speak when I am stressed and it’s helpful to be with such a strong person. Sometimes I don’t know if I have it in me to be a wife and a caregiver to the same person at such a young age; then I think about how we’re helping each other out in different ways I just forget to see it that way, the way it is.
Sherry,
I just wanted you to know your letter about your husband has encouraged me to always look on the bright side of things, and except people for who they are (including conditions). You do have it in you to continue taking care of him, and your honest transparency letter proves just that. Thanks for being a good friend.
In life, we say I love you,
Many won’t mean what they say.
In poetry, we say I love and then we take you somewhere further than outer space.
I say I love you to many in many different ways,
Love is too complicated then dares to never make sense.
There are so many ways to love someone only real love could understand the rest.
I love her as my Nurturer,
An artist who molded the most beautiful clay,
The momma bear whose cubs never starved a day.
I love him as my Foundation,
The cement of my soul when the tides of life wash the rest of me away,
The tesla of my heart he made me the light on your darkest days.
I love him as my own heart,
The fragile passion none could ever corrupt or dethrone,
The hero to my sidekick for as long as he lives I’ll never let him truly be alone,
He looks out for me, I’m his almost clone.
I love her as the earth loves the sky,
Sometimes she is my shade,
Sometimes she brings the rain,
Sometimes she may be the storm,
The mother of the artist,
She is the vision that the masterpiece was made for.
I love him as my mentor,
The flame of my candle when lost in the dark,
The script to the play when I never had a chance to practice my part,
The man behind the blueprint to a better-built heart.
I love them as my brothers,
A bond close to kin,
Should they never question my loyalty,
We save each other from our sins.
I love them as my sisters,
A love to fill a void of the things never had,
A love to protect and be vulnerable when things are good or bad.
I love them as family,
The kindest faces the ones we have yet to meet,
The only love that times has yet to defeat.
An impossible connection that defies the very ground beneath your feet.
I love her as the moon
Her love is my sun
No earth in sight,
A connection stronger than the deadliest spider web none has ever spun.
I love her as her escape
No interest in whether she deserves peace,
I’ll be her chance to just run away,
If she goes too far or finds herself lost,
I’ll love her as her return
For things that need her most could never recover from such loss.
I love them as their comfort,
I place they can be safe,
I’ll be their pillar until they need a pillow,
I’ll be both for them on my best days,
I’ll also be their discomfort because growth won’t happen any other way.
As for myself, my love is a Thorny mirror
For the things that I feel are a reflection of what I serve.
A taste-blind chef with intentions of shaking the world.
I love myself in a place of solitude as the one who hates to love alone.
I’ve been so far from where I was I forgot that I’ve passed where I wanted to go.
That’s what happens when aren’t looking ahead.
Now I just want to be bonded with the dream I’ve always had love for a gamble on a shooting star.
Memories of the longest chapter I’ve ever written so far.
Love for the one who always gets a page no matter what chapter I’m on.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life,
Therefore, every next one I’m in-is a new chapter.
Every morning, I wake up, God’s mercies to me are new-
So, with on my heart, His daily touch- I am able to prove…
That I love Him, that I am thankful-that He is the only One able
To mold and strengthen my life, because it’s so easily breakable.
Just one more day to prove-how much for others I will lose.
And know that my tears for others are real,
Because always for the next person, I’m to lift up-
I’ll lose if they can gain, the Master of the universe to me explains…
That He was there always, and is there forever-
He has placed His Word inside of me. as the greatest Treasure!
A time to be married to my beautiful wife,
A time to live with my kids,
Time and again to prove my life is (for others) to give!
A time to know, a time of notion
A time to grow in the fact connection,
That helping others build, is in-tact protection.
A chapter to heal with the faithful “Unsealed”
Understanding (unworthily) I have been blessed for real!
whether I look back, or pierce through ahead
Life is still permanently on track, my life is hid-my life is dead!
But that’s a good thing…Because it’s the old life that’s dead!
It makes me smile as I cry…
Knowing all the while-my soul will never die!
Rather in eternity-with Christ is life forever,
And best of all, while down here on this earth…
Is to show my schizophrenia has no worth-
Over the grace of God-that I cling to endeavor!
As chance and chapter to prove purity-is more dominant than deceit
With the bowels of the new heart and spirit-God has freely given me!!!
Today I have decided to tell my story. I suffer from bipolar. I was diagnosed with the mental disorder over 20 years ago. I have been through alot. It has been a real problem most of my life.
It was triggered after I had my second child. It was a nightmare 😔. I ended up being hospitalized several times over the course of twenty years. I will do my best to explain the horror of it all. I remember having one episode after another. Each episode was very exhausting and dramatic. I would block out a lot of the different personalities and triggers of emotional dynamics. It was so 😫 tiring.
I will try to explain one of my episodes to give you an idea of it all. Well, it all begins with not taking my medication. It slowly turns into a horror movie. I hear voices and act out several different personalities in my mind. I begin to have spells of crying dramatically having thoughts of despair. I was on edge and going down a bottomless pit of not wanting to be here anymore 😪. Yet, in most circumstances I didn’t want to kill myself because an angelic voice told me, ” no” don’t do it! I say, “okay” most times. Smh.
In these drastic times I have family who did help me like my mother. And that was important and fortunate because at these times it is good to have positive support systems in your life.
In most cases my family would call 911 and have a rescue squad come get me. In this case, I can’t stop crying. I wanted to leave! I wanted to go away! My family would say that I was going to the hospital. My main support is my mother. She was always there for me.
Once the ambulance 🚑 arrived I felt like I was in a horrible movie. This has happened to me several times over the years. Yet on this particular case the ENT would come in from the ambulance slowly one my one. They see I’m distraught and incoherent. I don’t know who I was at this point. I’m yelling for no reason and crying for no reason. I can’t understand what is going on. The police also came in…and it got worse. They felt like I would hurt myself or others and so one officer threatened to taze me. I said please don’t..please give me some water to drink. They did.
They slowly calmed me down and then my casemanager came in to also help out.
They asked her several questions to understand why I was like this. She told them that I was bipolar. I am so sick at this point. I have felt supernatural powers around me. I would say, ” I see angels”. They weren’t really visible but a feeling of goodness and calming voices.
So this contributes and adds to my psychotic behavior 🤔. That is what I felt.
I want to tell you the experience of being INSIDE THE AMBULANCE 🚑. Once I get inside the ambulance I felt like i was being ported to an experimental place. I was scared!!!!!This particular personality in me was very informative. I was talking a great deal like I was literally someone else.
One ENT said that he had never seen anything like this before. I finally got to the emergency room. Once there I begin, to yell and bring attention to myself. The police 🚔 officers were staring at me. A guard was placed at the entrance of my room door. I was being watched for over 24 hours. After a while a psychiatric doctor told me I would be admitted to a room in the hospital.
Now, I was on the floor of the psychiatric unit. Once I was in my own room I was in a bed. In some cases I was given medication to help relax me and I would sleep for hours.
So this was a particular bipolar experience. The next day, after being monitored I had to learn and come to appreciate little things again. Showering 🚿, brushing my teeth, wearing a hospital gown, and being served my breakfast lunch and dinner. This was a safe place.
Once I stayed a couple of weeks I was let go. I had a team of supporters around to help me. I had a case worker, a psychiatrist, and medical doctor coming in to see me. I felt much better. This was going to begin to be a part of my life for over 20 years. It is hard. But I will say I’m currently doing ok. So remember you are not alone. Be positive. Find good supporters in your circumstances. I hope this helps someone. Thank you for hearing my story. I am beating bipolar.
Have you ever felt trapped by a secret, burdened by its weight and wondering if sharing it could bring you relief or further pain? This is a silence many, unfortunately, know all too well.
Today, I want to share with you the story of Lauren Brill, a woman whose journey from the depths of traumatic silence to the heights of empowerment and entrepreneurship is nothing less than inspirational.
The Silence That Echoes
In the aftermath of the night that would forever change Lauren’s story, she found herself in a place of silence—a silence shared by many who have experienced sexual assault. This silence is not just the absence of words but a stifling barrier to healing and understanding.
For years, Lauren carried the heavy burden of her experience, shielded from the world, concerned about the impact its revelation would have on her loving parents.
From Secret to Superpower
Yet, in a pivotal moment of bravery, Lauren chose to share her story in an open letter to other sexual assault survivors. What happened next, Lauren could have never imagined.
Her letter went viral! The professional athletes she had known as a sports reporter had her back. One person shared her letter, and that set off a chain reaction.
And then something remarkable happened. Her secret, which once felt like a chain holding her back, finally shattered, setting her free! Lauren transformed her secret into her superpower!
By breaking her silence, Lauren not only freed herself but also ignited a spark to challenge societal norms and advocate for others.
With Transformation Comes Change
As Lauren herself began to evolve, so did her outer world. What was, is no more. What once fit like a glove now feels too tight, too restrictive. Once a dream job in sports broadcasting no longer aligned with the woman she had become.
Have you ever felt that a path you were on just didn’t fit who you were anymore? Did you stay on track, or did you make a change?
Lauren made a monumental decision — to leave her once dream job and pursue a new dream.
She founded ‘The Unsealed’, a platform that allows people to share their own stories of hurt and loss, wins and victories, challenges and opportunities. Ultimately, Lauren Brill chose authenticity over security.
Building a Community of Courage & Trust
‘The Unsealed’ is more than a platform; it’s a community built on the power of vulnerability, trust, and courage. Here, individuals are encouraged to write open letters about their life experiences, each carrying a positive message of hope to the reader.
This act of sharing is not just therapeutic—it’s transformative. It builds a bridge between isolation and community, fostering an environment where resilience flourishes through collective support.
Your Role in This Story
As you absorb the impact of Lauren’s story on your own life, consider how your own stories of silence could be unleashed to create a global movement. I encourage you to ask yourself those big questions…
How could I use my own life-changing experiences to empower both myself and others? Whether it’s a conversation you need to have, a letter you need to write, or support you wish to offer, remember: your voice has power. Your story matters.
Lauren’s transformation from a survivor of silence to a beacon of hope is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. It’s a reminder that even in our darkest moments, there is hope to be found. Just understand, sometimes, we must travel down the road a ways before we are able to truly understand how the events of yesterday have impacted our lives today.
So, the final question to be asked… What silence will you break? What new path will you forge? Let’s take inspiration from Lauren and move towards a future where our voices are heard, our stories are shared, and our spirits are unbreakable!
Don’t Miss Lauren’s Full Story… Able to be heard inside of Episode #282 of the podcast – Grit, Grace, & Inspiration.
Remember, you are amazing, incredible, and simply perfect, just as you are! Never let anyone or anything make you believe any different. Let your truth be heard and your light shine!
When you feel caught in a vacuum
Because people didn’t see the value,
You brought to the kitchen table,
Won’t change the fact that,
You are more than capable.
Your worth is immeasurable.
You are very valuable.
In a world that may seem unstable,
Don’t let doubt make you retract,
You have the power to impact.
You are stronger than you think,
And you are more than enough.
You are loved even on the days you feel worse.
Keep running.
Always believe in yourself, don’t hesitate,
You have the potential to create.
I know you can do it!
See, you’re already doing it!
Give yourself grace
To run your own race.
If you keep the faith alive,
I know you will survive.
-From Reflections of a Hopeful Romantic by Stephanie Anyaoha
Lauren,
Thank you so much for your kind words!
I really appreciate your support!
I wrote that piece when I was at a very low point in my life and wanted to give up.
I hope it will inspire others to keep running their race.
All the best!
People all around have lost their sight
In return has made this world loose its light
Hate and darkness are spread
while people try to hide it all with meds
Instead of opening their eyes they become more blind
which makes the light harder to find
People are becoming more like animals losing sight of humanity
Which is destroying the future you see
We all secretly want the same thing
to truly be loved & not shown pain
We forget to be the person we needed when we were younger
especially when that darkness hit with that Hungers
People can always be the change in this world & save humanity
Even if it just starts with you and little Ol me
Someone must finally open their eyes
To see past all the masks, disguises, & lies
Just as easy as hate can spread
Love & Kindness could be instead
One match can bring light to the dark
The dark cannot overpower the spark
Unless you give that power away
Nobody can make or break your day
Working together for the greater good
Has been somehow misunderstood
It is time we all open our hearts & quit being sheep
Show love instead & let the evil sow what it reap
The maze of life, we wander, we strive,
Through twists and turns, where paths collide,
Each step a dance of pain and joy,
As we chase dreams that hope employ.
Through valleys deep and mountains high,
We journey on, beneath the sky,
With hearts that ache and souls that yearn,
For the lessons learned at every turn.
In the darkest of times,
We stumble, we fall,
Sometimes we even lose our sight,
But from the shadows, once more we emerge,
With newfound strength,
After every storm, comes a surge.
For in the depths of despair we find, The resilience of humankind.
We rise from ashes, refusing to fold,
A testament to faith and resilience—cheers to the courageous and bold
For growth is not a straight-lined path,
It’s up and downs, twists, and turns
But we find our way, becoming free at last
So let us cherish the journey we choose,
For they remind us who we are and what happens if you refuse to lose,
A testament to our strength and grace
Yes, we rise and fall, yet rise again and again…
Knowing that trouble won’t last always and if you don’t give up, you will win.
So ride life’s wave, in God’s embrace.
Trust your path—you’ve got what it takes.
Greetings, your poem beautifully captures the ups and downs of life’s journey, offering encouragement and hope to readers. Your use of vivid imagery and a rhythmic flow convey themes of perseverance and resilience, bravo! Overall, it’s an inspiring ode to the human spirit.
The stars, my brothers & sisters,
How much I miss all thee
To see you, shiny, bright optimists –
Such a deep positivity to guide.
So many of you all, those stars –
The houses, cities, industries, beings
Dull you now, and so, so few
of you shine as bright, barely gleaning.
Now, not as many of you
Illuminate and shining to inspire
Amongst the rest of mankind.
I miss seeing you as I did back there . . .
I lay there in the vast school valley
No major lights, here third world style.
Cast myself away from the US, I fled,
practically now an exile.
I came to understand more of the world
Wanting to see if I can do any good.
Lying, wishing to be in the space purl,
There in the dark of the African continent.
I smile with peace and such ease
While looking up at those grand stars,
Milky Way, galaxies, while a scant breeze
waves across my skirt and the tall grass.
My Earthly Family, those stars
mine, yours, our representative.
This view, this experience,
I rushed over, not so tentative/
To learn so much, but the stars
Illuminated the sky and world
So much brightness and loveliness,
and so much did unfurl.
I’ll never feel like this again.
Those days over in Tanzania
will forever last in memory
That life, those stars, now as unglistened
In this sky so uncomplimentary
Sharing now that life is short.
I’ll enjoy it as best as I did under
The Tanzania stars and sky.
Greetings, your description of yearning for the beauty of the stars amidst the routine of life is quite striking. It contrasts the grandeur of the universe with the limitations of human existence, leaving a poignant reminder of life’s fleeting nature. Splendidly written.
I am the girl that can come off a bit clingy
Often scaring those who cross my path.
My thoughts may seem a bit stringy
Coming off to one like a bloodbath.
I will shoot for the stars
Providing those I love with my support.
Depending who looks you can see the scars
This makes some want to abort.
Giving my all with folks that let her through
As they becoming a part of the life.
There are pieces only few knew
I will occasionally show it all within a rife.
No one can tell me who I am
I do not follow a diagram.
I absolutely relate to being the “clingy” friend. I wish I had your wisdom when I was your age. I loved it hearing for the first time tonight and I love it again reading and processing it in my own time.
Following down a path
that was out of the ordinary.
Discovering herself threw all the wrath
Bouncing around such as a fairy.
The harmfulness inside
can consume her on the daily
She is no longer trying to hide
Realizing she probably was never gaily.
The spark of who she is becoming
Is bright within
Hearing the constant humming
Without all of the sin.
This girl is giving it her all
never worried on if she will fall.
Greetings, your celebration of resilience and authenticity is wonderfully written. It encourages perseverance and self-acceptance, highlighting the strength of embracing one’s true identity. I hope this becomes a reality and a source of encouragement for everyone in their self-discovery journey.
Looking into the mirror
I see the smile from her.
The find feels clearer
I finally found where you were.
Noticing the smile
That follows around.
Anyone could spot it from a mile
Finding what startled her from the ground.
Did I mention the bliss
From you walking through that door.
It’s safe you will not be a dismiss
We are ready to explore.
The possibilities that are within
Not that I no wear you thin.
I wake up like I never went to bed.
Sleep is upon my open eyes,
yet they are glazed and scarlet red.
I don’t remember what happened yesterday,
nor do I have a semblance of what the day holds.
I schedule my life out to stop the mind decay.
I sip my coffee until I realize for two hours it’s been cold.
I glance around myself,
“When did I put that picture on my wall?”
“Did I put it together or buy that bookshelf?”
Sometimes I wonder if there’s someone I could call?
But for everyone living their lives,
going to school, work, home, sleep-
It really wouldn’t make sense to hear my cries.
I can’t remember how my mind got so deep.
How I can’t recollect moving into this apartment.
I know I pay for bills, electric and such,
I have a garage that has my car now with a dent,
I mean I remember that much.
I used to go to college,
I had a friend, I think.
But school never taught me a good message.
I always felt blue and everyone was pink,
like I had a mask.
I was so perfect, smart and happy,
but at home, there was always a panic attack waiting for me,
a part no one could, nor would ever see.
Somehow I stopped driving to college.
I had several jobs and goals,
yet I couldn’t find my true meaning or message.
Outside I seemed successful with my methods and morals,
but it seems there’s a part of my soul left behind,
somewhere along moving out and now,
I lost my mind.
Either that or the matrix has me now under its hold.
Somedays I feel the grass under my feet,
and other times
I can’t even look at myself without wanting to retreat.
Cause somewhere along the lines,
I lost me,
and I don’t think I can get her back.
Somewhere on the other side of the root and the tree,
ss the life of that little girl I now lack.
God, I just want to wake up sometimes
without shocking myself with my own touch.
To not wonder If I committed any crimes,
cause my hands are calloused and rough,
From something I can’t even remember,
or can even give a second thought.
When I go to sleep at night
It’s with dread and regret,
that I have no idea what happened in this fight.
But what can you do as you watch the sun set,
It’s the matrix.
Maybe one day,
someone will come and it will all be,
fixed.
Frankie, you have so much purpose and so many gifts. Just one day at a time, try new things, and pay close attention to what makes you feel good. Keep pushing. Sending you a hug <3 Lauren
The spirit takes my soul back
to a day that was not long ago.
Sitting on a rack
as if there’s something that needed a show.
Remembering key phrases
that I would say.
The body raises
to realize it was my favorite day.
Twos flooded the room
as I would turn to you.
Watching our love start to bloom
then it was my cue.
Waking to the realization
there’s no need for any hesitation.
Greetings, your style is captivating, blending vivid imagery with nostalgia. It draws me into memories through concise phrases and rhythmic flow, evoking a sense of longing and reflection. Beautifully written.
Why can’t we all get along
We act like this or that person don’t belong
Making others feel out of place
Never seeing the hurt behind the smile on their face
Why do we spread more hate then love
Thinking there are others we’re above
We forget we all are human with our own flaws
Wasting more energy spreading hate like it’s in our laws
We just need to love and care for one another
Treat all like they are your sister or brother.
See that’s the key to world peace
Only if hatred would seem to forever cease.
Please know that I am here,
Right by your side,
Even though you don’t see me near,
I promise I’m not that far behind.
Your love follows me everywhere,
As it will for years,
Were the perfect pair,
The couple everyone fears.
Some wish they were us,
But they don’t know what we’ve been through,
Even though they think they do when they discuss,
If they only had a clue.
That does not matter my love,
As you were the one who came and saved me from above.
“I’m not concerned with your liking or disliking me… All I ask is that you respect me as a human being”- Jackie Robinson. So, you want to be a human or citizen don’t let the hurt they have caused define your worth, rise above. I will not let their words push me down before I am taking advantage of my love. Don’t let them make you unhappy and give away your affection. Life lessons taught me, seek respect not perfection. You think this is the world and you are just a product of their environment, and you cannot make it. It will be inevitable that God just allows you to enjoy the moment. Stop being always available to people who are just there for you when it’s convenient for them. et me be clear, my love is unconditional but your presence in my life is not. The moment you prove that the value of me does not measure up to yourself worth, I’ll have no problem unconditionally loving the memory of you and moving on. If they walk away, let them go. If they don’t value you
enough to work through the hard times, they don’t deserve all the good times. And you gotta read between the lines I’m searching for a way to heal all the last rhymes.
“You don’t ‘make’ someone stop treating you badly. You walk out of their lives and stay out of their lives, and viola…the bad treatment stops. “I can’t control your behavior, nor do I want that burden… but I will not apologize for to be disrespected or to be mistreated I have standards, step
up or step out.” -Steve Maraboli.
A person doesn’t have to only drain you with arguments and fights. they can drain you with lack of communication, lack of trust, lack of respect, lack of empathy, lack of apologizing, lack of acknowledgement and lack of fulfilling your love language know the truth. And I’m caught in a circle of footprints and misfits. By your mistakes no matter how hard you try to fix. Rise up from the hurt, find strength to eclipse. Don’t let the conflict break you that’s a common enemy. Make sure you respect your partner more than you love them, because you can cause a lot of damage to them while still loving them: When you respect them, you’ll think about them before you make any move, and you’ll think about the impact it will have on them. That’s why you have to make a choice don’t let their toxicity condemn. You’re afraid to make amends. What’s the point of being friends? When all you do is pretend. But be certain to make your mind up and get up and bite your tongue. If you want to give up, I don’t want to say goodbye. And you have something your mind tells you otherwise why. If you don’t make the same mistakes you did, that you feel you are lying when you don’t have the time to be lucky. Whenever you’re in doubt and make up just believe that things will work out.
It doesn’t matter what you’ve been through and how much you’ve been doused.
I’ll break free from the hurt and find bliss.
Only the broken can be fixed.
It’s never too late to realize there’s more to life than this.
There’s a whole world out there to explore, don’t miss. You are just stranded and stopped and blinked. I know it’s hard to believe but, follow your own instinct.
I’ll make my own path and never be extinct.
Take a chance and let your true colors link.
You’re a diamond in disguise, show your inner aspect.
Just like a poetic gift we will make it. When you look in the mirror, everything will be cleansed.
In this life, strive for love and respect and have no regrets.
Greetings, I love the honesty and empowerment urging us to value ourselves and pursue healthier relationships. The mix of quotes and original thoughts adds depth and inspires hope.
Once again//I lay awake,
Light passes through dark stained glass skin,
A mirror, a chisel, a key,
The door behind swings open,
And why should I not have that which I desire?
I trace her steps.
//
My amethyst heart pounds violently as I maneuver through corridors of crystal,
Glassy tears break into marble pieces/my feet don’t bleed from shards,
I stare down at the marble Staircase in the Glass Castle,
Statuesque like meter in the frame,
And it was beautiful.
//
Never more/I fall asleep
The ugly lustre of my body devours the room,
A reflection, a thought, an emotion,
I close the door behind by me,
I know not what I desire when my body desires my mind,
I return to the room.
At my worst, it’s felt like I’ve been swimming through my molasses. The storm has passed, yet fog remained. Echoes blurred the vision of an aimless vagabond.