Your pages are torn and shredded yet the story inside is so compelling.
It’s one you can’t put down, as you anticipate what’s to come.
You’ve been handled so rough but your binding stays unharmed.
You mustered up courage to survive the harsh storms.
You who was once closed off and unable to share the contents inside.
Has now become my favorite novel full of surprises.
You were afraid of the world and pressures of life.
Now you embrace the challenge with a smile so bright.
The story of you is no longer hidden.
You learned to love wide open, unafraid of what’s written.
You ignore the corrections made by critics.
As you are the author of this life and of you.

Self love
What is self love?
Self love is:
Loving yourself
Appreciating yourself
Growth
Happiness
Accepting
Well-being
Self love
It’s different
For everyone

I’ve struggled
With self love
With loving myself
With accepting myself
My whole life
It’s been a journey
Finding myself again

I’ve been
Made fun of
Teased
Bullied
For how I look
For my size
For the scars
On my body

You’re so small
How tall are you?
What size shoe do you wear?
You’re so small
You’re head is a hand rest
I could shove you
In my pocket
You’re a midget
Pint-sized
A shrimp
Kids are taller than you
What’s with all the scars?
Why do you have them?
Look at her tummy?
It’s all messed up
She’s got two belly buttons
Look at her neck?
She’s got a hole in it

Kids are mean
Kids are bullies
Kids are cruel
Kids don’t understand
Becoming the girl with the tummy scars
Becoming the girl with the hole in her neck
Becoming the small girl with tiny feet

I was embarrassed
By my scars
But I know now
They show strength
They show I survived
They show I lived
Despite the odds
Despite the complications
The multiple surgeries
I endured as a baby

I wished my feet were bigger
To fit into real women’s shoes
But now I don’t mind
Having small feet
I can fit into kids shoes
Finding shoes for cheap
I still can fit into women’s shoes
If I’m looking for something fancy

I always wished I was taller
Like it wasn’t fair
The tall gene skipped me
Like why?
But I have expected my size
I can fit into kids clothes
For cheaper
I can still find lots of cute things
In smaller sizes
I can fit anywhere
I can push my way
Up to the front of concerts
I’ve Learned to climb
Things with ease
To reach high things
I’m not small
I’m fun size

So yeah
It took awhile
To find myself again
To love my self again
To accept my self again
To love my body again
To accept my flaws
To love my flaws

I’m still learning everyday
To love myself
To accept myself
To love my body
Scars, flaws and all
Some days are better than others
But I’m no where near where
I was before

To the girl whose always given others love,
It’s time you put yourself above.

You’ve always had to care for others,
so this year, love yourself a little harder.

Love your laugh, your smile, & the way that you glow.
Love yourself enough to tell other people “no.”

You are brightness, you are love, you are more than you think.
You are creative, you are clever, you are the missing link.

You’ve cried for nights & been through hurt,
You’ve been through fights, your name dragged through dirt.

Love yourself enough to heal & be better.
Know that along the way you may ruffle some feathers.

Love yourself enough to always protect your mind,
Love yourself enough to remember to be kind.

Even when people aren’t very kind to you,
Do it cause you know it’s the right thing to do.

You’re empathetic, loving, and deserve all the wealth,
So this year, remember to live for yourself.

My aura is black.
Black because they tried to singe me with deeds,
Black like the sooty soil that nurtures her seeds.
Black because before they knew who I was,
When I was given no choice or even some gauze
Black like the bird that sings to be free
Black because my memories haunt me

Black like the sheep who’s breaking chains.
Black like the hole that’s swallowing pain.
Black like the smoke twirling up through the sky
Black like the panther and her silent battle cry
Black like the ash that softens the earth
Black because now she knows her worth

Black like THAT little dress, brilliant;
the one that makes every woman feel resilient.
Black like the lace of her wings
Black in the sky that midnight brings
Black like the velvet in her gentle coos
Black like silk skin that into she grew

So now instead of green, red, or indigo
My aura is black
Black like obsidian
Black like pearls
Black like geodes
Black because my shadows healed it so.

Darling,

It’s been way too long. Where do I even start? I’ve been waiting for the right time to send this and realized I should have sent it when I saw you fighting your way through a storm. Please forgive me for taking so long to connect. I may have been silent but you have always been on my mind.

I am so sorry you were put in a position where your confidence was whittled away until you were left with only the shards remaining of your once fearless spirit. I’m amazed by your strength and resiliency though. Your determination to get back to that place where self-assurance radiates from deep within is impressive. I love that although your journey has been anything but easy, you are finding the beauty in uncovering the person that had slipped away. You are discovering new ways every day to mend your wounded soul. I promise to be there for you to steady you through all of the maelstroms and to show you how deserving you are of a life overflowing with love and joy.

Exquisite woman, take this moment in. You put yourself in a box with no openings for far too long. You thought you were lost forever. Buried so long, it seemed impossible that you would ever be uncovered. Years of torment that only you can describe. The seed was planted long ago but the clouds overshadowed when the verbal assaults aimed at you started to invade your thoughts as you tried to determine if the words rang true. The rain dried up when your body became a battlefield for the anger and intolerance. You weren’t given the opportunity to grow the way you deserved but you have shown your strength. The sky has opened and the sun is peeking through.

You have taken the shattered pieces of your soul and crafted them into a mosaic of learned lessons, new discoveries and recovered blessings. I hope you see all the incredible qualities that we do. Your gentle spirit, your kindness that has no limits as well as your ability to see the good in all. You have managed a career and a household and through it all you have kept your sense of humor. The care and nurturing you have shown your three wonderful sons has well-prepared them to go out and tackle the world. You are brave, strong and intelligent. You are beautiful inside and out. You are enough and have always been enough. Your uniqueness and your confidence in embracing it stands out. My heart smiles when I think of you! I hope you know how valuable and cherished you are. I want you to feel peace like you have never felt before. My wish for you is to emerge from the chaos feeling more courageous, happier and deserving of the greatest kind of love.

The next time you look at your reflection in the mirror and you are trying to determine what to prioritize next, I hope that you look at that gorgeous girl with the beautiful smile and say pick me and you do. Remember your worth. There is something inside you that is greater than any battle you encounter. Keep breathing new life into every day and shine on. Hold on to those dreams. Your wild imagination will help you take flight and soar to heights you thought impossible. I can’t wait to stand with you as you step into a marvelous future and a life filled with happiness.

Love Always,

The Girl Inside

P.S. Keep going, you are doing amazing!

All this time
And I never wrote a note to me
So here’s to me.
Dear me,
You can be so hard to see
This girl who
Always had it easy
Or so that’s what they see
Heavy is heartbreak
But you were never made to carry this weight
So you grew in strength.
I wish it was as simple
as telling you how proud I am.
Imagine me holding your hand
You walk into dark rooms
You stand in flames
You shine when it rains
You and I are the same.
Giving has always been easy
But receiving and feeling
Leaves room for healing.
They will teach you lessons of sacrifice
But darling you only need to play nice
With the girl who looks back at you in the mirror,
For her burden is light.

I love myself cause God first loved me

I love myself because I didn’t like the old me .

I love myself because I am my longest commitment

But to love myself ain’t all rainbows and butterflies

To love myself means
to lose myself over and over again —in the process

I love myself because no one else was up for the challenge

I love myself because I wanna love you better and I can’t without it

I love myself because home should feel safe, freeing, and calming

I love myself because I don’t wanna keep on running

I love myself because I don’t need instant gratification

I love myself because I’m willing to wait and sacrifice for all things meant for me

I love myself because I owe it to myself to say goodbye to the old me

I love myself because I don’t wanna be 35, partying & hoeing

I love myself because I know what I want & I’m determined to work hard & go get it

I love myself because I can apologize when I realize of my wrong doings

I love myself because Depth — is hard to find

& Superficial — is depressing and boring

I love myself because Ik I don’t know it all
& Im willing to continue learning

I love myself because I love the world around me

I love myself because I’m humble and loving

I love myself because I want to give back & show my appreciation & gratitude to the one who
—despite my imperfections & flaws—

still chooses to love me ❤️🙏🏽

These are some of the reasons why

I love me

Mirror

I look into the eyes
Of the woman in the mirror
Breathe deep
And say
Those who said
You were hard to love
Were misinformed

Every holy man of old
Used to say
“Love thine enemies”
Maybe they include
All those dark inside places
Where you were told
You can’t be loved

I have roses on my tongue

Velvet kisses, words with thorns

I have magnolias in my eyes

Silver petals that mesmerize

Orange blossoms on my chest

Cover my heart with their zest

I have orchids for my navel

Like a sprite from woodland fable

Through my waist and far below

Hidden garden with its glow

My body, vase of stems and leaves

Ivy wrapped around my knees

Small bouquet of scent and wonder

Arranged for all to gaze and ponder

Tend my garden, see me grow

Water daily, love will flow

Then pick my flowers with delight

For they’ll come back throughout the night

As I stand looking in this mirror,
I’ve never seen myself any clearer.
I know it took longer than it should
But I finally love myself more than I thought I could.
There were nights that I didn’t believe
I’d ever be truly be happy just being me.
However, now I can clearly see
Depression was never a match for me.
I beat my own nightmares
I beat them all
Every night my terrors
Would again make me fall.
But the fire in my heart would always prevail;
For every time I fell, more love for myself, I would inhale.
It would have been easy for me to run
But to my darkness, I would not succumb.
Now the fire in my heart is also in my eyes
And I love myself more every morning that I rise.