There in the midst of my journey, I see a two way street.
There is the road less traveled that is speaking to me.
It is filled with hardship, struggle, and pain.
It echos softly what sounds like my name.
It knows of my tears, lies, and complaints.
It knows that I can make it, even when my mind says I can’t.
It roots and cheers for me to give it a try.
And not to be distracted by the wilderness, but look forward to the promise of the other side.
The other path intervenes with its master plan.
To convince me to walk down this more pleasing land.
After all, everyone wants the easy way out.
Who wants to get caught up in the confusion and doubt?
The sky is blue and the birds are singing their high pitched song.
With all that sunshine, how can it be wrong?
As I stand there at the fork trying to decide,
A voice speaks to me assuring and kind.
Nothing worth fighting for came tied in a bow.
I appreciate every lesson that gives me the opportunity to grow.
Yes to the left, it’s full of illusions of gold and jewels.
All that glitters isn’t gold, so do not be so easily fooled.
The road less traveled has less steps to take, even though there are more hills to climb.
Because when I take this path, I began traveling with the Ultimate Guide.
He will move those mountains and twine when I show Him my seed of faith.
And when I feel weak and broken, He’ll carry me most of the way.
So I picked up my baggage and chose the trail of my destiny.
The voice returned and commanded that I drop those burdens at His feet.
There is only one requirement before we travel that I must meet.
I cannot carry the loads of my past because He’s already forgotten and forgiven thee.
Tears rolled down, as I noticed why I was so weary.
All the loads of hurt and anger I carried, I could’ve been released.
The reason that path had been less traveled was because not many realized that they held the Master’s key.
The first step that truly mattered began when I forgave me.
In this chapter of my life
I love that I am learning to dance in the rain
In this chapter of my life
I love that I am learning myself again
In this chapter of my life
I love that I’m realizing I’m still fiercely brave
In this chapter of my life
I love that each day reveals to me that I am truly, uniquely and wonderfully made
In this chapter of my life
I take each day as it comes
In this chapter of my life
The chest crushing stress, I’m learning not to succumb
In this chapter of my life
I love that I let myself cry
In this chapter of my life
I love that I spend less time wondering why
In this chapter of my life
I love how God is loving and keeping me
In this chapter of my life
I love that I am free
Free to be me authentically
Free to explore
Freedom–ahhh–freedom
I’m free indeed
In this chapter of my life
I love discovering that I can and will win again
In this chapter of my life
I love re-realizing that each new beginning starts with a necessary end
In this chapter of my life
I love that I’m taking care of me
In this chapter of my life
I love the way I continue to conquer the inner-me
In this chapter of life
I love my mindset, daily habits, and surroundings
In this chapter of my life
I’m so glad that happiness has found me
In this chapter of my life
Hope and faith greets me with each new day
In this new chapter of my life
I love that I’m finding my way
Through my lifelong observations of the human experience, encompassing its trials, setbacks, and triumphs, and drawing wisdom from some of the world’s greatest minds—from Cesar Chavez’s struggles on California farmlands to Nietzsche’s contemplations in the Swiss Alps on the concept of God, from Shakespeare’s portrayal of human frailty to the works of the poet Baidel exploring humility’s vast pastures, and contemplating Albert Camus’ existential reflections—I was inspired to write a poem.
Painting Colorless Colors
Poem: By Alexander Siddiqui
At the outset, we stride into the boundless expanse of philosophical exploration,
Where theories bloom like constellations in the night.
Within the shadows of intellectual toil and the intricate weave of scholarly discourse,
Empathy often remains a gem obscured, awaiting revelation,
Veiled within the labyrinth of the mind’s sight.
Yet amidst the cosmic ensemble of ideas,
A guardian-like supernova emerges, casting its gleaming light,
A beacon of truth in the enveloping darkness,
A shimmering fabric of humanity woven with threads of enlightenment.
It reminds us that genuine connection with others
Resonates like harmonious notes,
A delicate melody in the heart,
A perfect symphony of souls in the divine orchestra of existence.
Approach each encounter as a celestial journey,
Navigating galaxies of cognition and perception,
Where understanding serves as a guiding pulsar,
Illuminating the path through the cadence of introspection,
A heavenly compass pilgrimaging the astral seas.
Conquer the hypotheses, elevate the strategies, and refine the techniques
Yet as we sketch life’s grand canvas,
Handle them with the grace of an artist’s brush,
For in the delicate art of touching souls,
We must paint with the palette of humility and kindness,
Our hands guided by the constellations of empathy and compassion,
Painting colorless colors of humanity.
You’re perfect, my kind of perfect
Especially when we peck lips for a kiss
Feeling the intimacy with your gentle touch
It makes me feel so complete, whole, and alive
Just as if nothing was wrong and all my worries disappeared
You can hypnotize me with your gorgeous eyes
Or with the words you speak from your mouth
Either way, you make me forget of life’s hardships
And create a bubble like it’s only you and me
Within the current moment of Father Time
You can be a cute geek without the perfect tone body
Hate the way you laugh loud or have too much body hair
Either way, I’ll still love you just the same
Because the way you look, mmm, I can’t get enough
You can charm me with a big, adorable smile on your face
Become such a gentleman and a total romantic
Or even say I look beautiful when I think I’m a mess
Either way, I’ll fall for it everyday, every time, and anywhere
Because your smile and personality is out of this world
You can make mistakes and mess up like everyone else
Or accidentally say the wrong thing to hurt some feelings
Either way darling, no one is perfect on this earth
But no matter what, somehow and someway
You are my kind of perfect and always have been
Since the very first day that we met and fell in love
There’s so many ways to describe and say
Of just how perfect you are in my hazel eyes
I hope you can see it and believe it to be true
Because there’s simply no one else that can replace you
You are a one of a kind, my love, a one of a kind
Everything looks to me with importance
the music did not make me want to dance
the sun in the summer
did not give me heat
the flowers
had no scent
my journey
had no beginning
my eyes did not shine with happiness
even though laughter is to be heard
from angels playing ahead
my heart cries golden tear drops
I pray to god to find me love
I found meaning to life
the music brought memories
the sun gave me light to my journey
in which I must go in life
the flowers refreshed my spirit
laughter came from my mouth
I pray
I pray to god to find me love.
People may see the contract
But not the contractions of wearing my heart on my sleeve
That now fits like a glove.
I’m striving to heal generations through self-love.
I’m choosing faith over fear and hope over hurt
For my heart to swell with laughter, love, and joy.
No longer afraid of the spaces, holes, and voids.
My positive vibes increase the vibration of others around me,
Beating to the sound of my own drum.
Each new day I live is a new beginning I’m open to experiencing
Turning my deepest secrets into my greatest superpowers,
Empowers me to release what no longer serves me
So I can serve myself flowers while I can still smell them.
Before I die,
I pray that my story will be someone else’s survival guide.
A Hummingbird beauty.
Someone’s call of duty to find love to heal again
And a love letter to that person that’s been laying in bed
And hasn’t seen beyond the four corners of their room in days
I pray that they will finally experience what solace looks and feels like.
I once heard that love is what healing sounds like.
The chapter of life that I love
is living all the way then going above
Life before death is the way to go
Is there another way to do it, I don’t know
I cannot explain why I love it so much
But living happily is to die as such
Happy or not, though, the life is good
Almost anyone could have it, I know they could
In the bloom of youth, we tread a path unsure,
Early twenties, where dreams and doubts endure.
With passion ablaze and aspirations high,
We chase dream that we hope take flight.
Through freedom, we find our stride,
Exploring the world, with nothing to hide.
Yet shadows linger, whispers of the past,
Reminders of moments too fleeting to last.
In this chapter of life, a tale unfolds,
Of lessons learned, and stories yet untold.
We stumble, we rise, in this journey we roam,
In our early twenties, we seek our home.
So embrace the chaos, the laughter, and tears,
For in this moment, we conquer our fears.
In the canvas of youth, let our colors unfurl,
In the canvas of youth, let’s paint our world.
Have you ever felt trapped by a secret, burdened by its weight and wondering if sharing it could bring you relief or further pain? This is a silence many, unfortunately, know all too well.
Today, I want to share with you the story of Lauren Brill, a woman whose journey from the depths of traumatic silence to the heights of empowerment and entrepreneurship is nothing less than inspirational.
The Silence That Echoes
In the aftermath of the night that would forever change Lauren’s story, she found herself in a place of silence—a silence shared by many who have experienced sexual assault. This silence is not just the absence of words but a stifling barrier to healing and understanding.
For years, Lauren carried the heavy burden of her experience, shielded from the world, concerned about the impact its revelation would have on her loving parents.
From Secret to Superpower
Yet, in a pivotal moment of bravery, Lauren chose to share her story in an open letter to other sexual assault survivors. What happened next, Lauren could have never imagined.
Her letter went viral! The professional athletes she had known as a sports reporter had her back. One person shared her letter, and that set off a chain reaction.
And then something remarkable happened. Her secret, which once felt like a chain holding her back, finally shattered, setting her free! Lauren transformed her secret into her superpower!
By breaking her silence, Lauren not only freed herself but also ignited a spark to challenge societal norms and advocate for others.
With Transformation Comes Change
As Lauren herself began to evolve, so did her outer world. What was, is no more. What once fit like a glove now feels too tight, too restrictive. Once a dream job in sports broadcasting no longer aligned with the woman she had become.
Have you ever felt that a path you were on just didn’t fit who you were anymore? Did you stay on track, or did you make a change?
Lauren made a monumental decision — to leave her once dream job and pursue a new dream.
She founded ‘The Unsealed’, a platform that allows people to share their own stories of hurt and loss, wins and victories, challenges and opportunities. Ultimately, Lauren Brill chose authenticity over security.
Building a Community of Courage & Trust
‘The Unsealed’ is more than a platform; it’s a community built on the power of vulnerability, trust, and courage. Here, individuals are encouraged to write open letters about their life experiences, each carrying a positive message of hope to the reader.
This act of sharing is not just therapeutic—it’s transformative. It builds a bridge between isolation and community, fostering an environment where resilience flourishes through collective support.
Your Role in This Story
As you absorb the impact of Lauren’s story on your own life, consider how your own stories of silence could be unleashed to create a global movement. I encourage you to ask yourself those big questions…
How could I use my own life-changing experiences to empower both myself and others? Whether it’s a conversation you need to have, a letter you need to write, or support you wish to offer, remember: your voice has power. Your story matters.
Lauren’s transformation from a survivor of silence to a beacon of hope is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. It’s a reminder that even in our darkest moments, there is hope to be found. Just understand, sometimes, we must travel down the road a ways before we are able to truly understand how the events of yesterday have impacted our lives today.
So, the final question to be asked… What silence will you break? What new path will you forge? Let’s take inspiration from Lauren and move towards a future where our voices are heard, our stories are shared, and our spirits are unbreakable!
Don’t Miss Lauren’s Full Story… Able to be heard inside of Episode #282 of the podcast – Grit, Grace, & Inspiration.
Remember, you are amazing, incredible, and simply perfect, just as you are! Never let anyone or anything make you believe any different. Let your truth be heard and your light shine!
My Dearest Frightened Inner Child and My Courageous Present Self,
You are warmly invited to your much awaited, Refuge.
For You have been Rescued.
Welcome to Safety and Stability.
Where You are Considered, befittingly.
No! You are not an Outcast.
Once You get past that, You will see –
You are a wondrous Art of Kintsugi.
Cracks here, Cracks there.
Repair: A process – Handled with Care.
Look out My Dear, as this will be Bittersweet.
What an overwhelming feeling to feel – Oh So Complete!
You are now in two places as One.
Sunlight piercing through Dark clouds – Stay a little longer…
A missed Childhood –
I promise to make it Fun!
Forever Evolving and Growing
You’ll Always be My Number One!
I see you looking-heading my way
thinking about what it is you want to say.
It’s so interesting to be in this place.
Not wanting or needing attention,
your approval,
your love-
unwilling to participate in the chase.
I feel full, no need for a second helping…
I’m good.
No really, I’m good.
Not your money, your resources, or your name—
a woman of my means?
Sir, in that arena,
you and I are the same.
It seems as though you came to offer me your cape,
and it offends you to see that I’m not waiting for you
to have my life take shape.
The man who has me- loves without control,
contributes to my thinking,
my being, my purpose, my soul.
He lets me in, knows when to let me guide,
supports my ambition and desires;
taking any losses in stride.
He’s my person because he tends to my heart,
there are no conditions or ego- yeah, THAT part.
How he leads allows me to maintain feminine energy-
together we pursue joy,
since happy is my responsibility.
To put it plainly:
I choose to love him, and he chooses to love me.
So, I’m good.
A letter to myself
Grabbing an old book off the shelf.
Starting a new chapter
To help me see.
What I’ve been through
Yes Indeed!
Showing the wounds
Of my inner child
Adding a new chapter to help me smile.
Showing my affliction
Of bipolar disease
After twenty years of hurting
I’m being set free.
In the hospital in and out
Finding the answers
Of what it’s all about.
Looking for answers
Through food and ice cream
Coping with bipolar
And what it means.
Taking medication to help me grow
Saying, “Why me” I did not know.
Finding answers to my depression
Was my victory.
Extending my life and
Escaping the mind
Finding hope and answers to a certain degree.
This was a sign.
That I can be “normal”
In this world, I CAN SHINE!
In my mind there is a tunnel
A mother of two
Seeing the light at each end
They have grown so much
I give them what I can
Of a mother’s touch.
Escaping my mind
And never married
This was another load I always carried.
Living this chapter of love and happiness
Living this chapter of not being depressed.
Wanting to help others as an employee
As a companion for those in need.
Highs and lows
Of mental stability
Finding love is the key.
I’m beating bipolar again and again
From doctors and lawyers
Finding the right medicine.
I escape the highs and lows
And depending on others
Like mountains and valleys
Wanting to do better as a devoted mother.
Yes, defeating bipolar
I do not cry.
Defeating bipolar
Is what I say inside
To myself I will not lie.
This is a new chapter just for me
Doing much better
In time I shall see.
Oh what a time,
a time of curiosity
letting your hair fall differently each day
passionate words drifting from your soul
Into this world of constant stimulation
Hoping that you will bring a light to the minds of those who live in the dark
You are shining so brightly
Being yourself looks really good on you
You are growing and evolving
Becoming a woman of the divine
Allowing the simple pleasures of life
to bring light and joy to your heart inside
I love the way you laugh,
And share your love with others
You are truly so caring
You are learning to love
Letting your heart fill with joy
as well as the tears and the sadness
and the pain of all the years before
My love you are so strong
you forever stand tall
As you know you are made
To bring so much more
To the people around
Who wondrously wander
Hoping something will catch their eye
You are here to remind them
That their fire lies inside
Oh my love, my admiration for you runs high
A pure soul that never seems to dry
Keep shining your light
And just know
that your fire lies inside
This is the chapter where she sheds the guilt and shame.
Giving unconditional love to the dark, wounded parts, as that is what they craved all along.
Releasing any feelings of unworthiness or self-loathing that reside in the shadows,
Removing what was never hers to hold, and making room for the blessings that await.
This is the chapter where she loves herself deeply and unapologetically.
Embracing the flaws and recognizing the true beauty of the human body.
Sitting in the imperfections and releasing all negative thoughts and beliefs,
Refreshing her view of the miracle she is- a living vessel of life and love.
This is the chapter where she steps into her power.
Letting go of the perfectionism and fawning tendencies that once kept her imprisoned.
Instead, she steps into authenticity and embraces every inch of her mind,
Allowing herself to lean into the childlike joy that arises when she sees signs from her angels.
This is her chapter.
She writes the story and creates the reality she desires.
She prioritizes joy and rest, as she knows she is deserving of happiness.
She counts her blessings, soaks in the love around her, and expels light wherever she goes.
Look at you go, man. You know, it wasn’t all that long ago that the only thing you could thin about was drugs and how miserable life was. You blamed everything on others, and couldn’t figure out why nothing ever seemed to go your way. Then, when things wouldn’t go your way, or you faced an instance of adversity, or even just a new experience, you would hide from it, and seek temporary pleasure.
On a much brighter note, throughout all of this, you kept the best attitude you could, and still made it a point to do your best to be a giver to those around you. Hey, we live and we learn.
I’m not writing this to you to beat you down or shame you (you used to do that to the extent of causing yourself to completely shutdown), in fact, it’s quite the opposite. I want to write to you about what I’m loving about this current chapter of my life.
Every now and again, you get a little overwhelmed, and that’s okay. You get overwhelmed with the seemingly daunting tasks you’re taking on while telling nobody. You’re courageously advancing yourself toward crushing all these new experiences as they come. You’ve been doing this for quite some time now, helping you incrementally build your self confidence. I’m here to tell you that you may feel overwhelmed because you have everything you’ve ever wanted and you’re just unsure as to handle it. Nonetheless, you’re handling it.
You’ve built yourself to the point you’re miles above where you first started this journey. I say this with humility and seriousness all at once: I’m beyond proud of you.
You’ve met and partnered with a young lady who believes in you (maybe even more than you believe in yourself, which is quite a bit) and pushes you to succeed. She enjoys the small things you do. She enjoys the way you make her laugh. She admires you for the things you’ve been through and came out on top. Best of all, you enjoy these very same things, as she does them for you also.
You are way less sad than you have been in a long, long time. You’re able to just be yourself, more so than ever, and she loves this about you. It’s also good for you. She actually cares to understand all the ideas you run by her. She doesn’t mind the noise you make when you fill the air with your words. She doesn’t even mind it when you practice your guitar or drums. You gotta admit, that’s pretty cool.
Anyway, I can’t discuss in full detail all the great things you’re doing and continue to accomplish. You’re happier in this chapter because you’ve finally made it a point to push yourself and those around you to do great things, and it feels RIGHT. You love yourself again, and you’ve realized that even though you may be alone, you’re not ALONE.
I hope as the chapters continue for you, you’ll find your way closer and closer to where you’re headed. Keep moving with love. It looks good on you.
do you remember, a few years back, when you could only find your identity through being attached to someone? by having that strict, on paper or social media confirmation that you were worth something in this world, because you meant something to someone else? the word itself was simple, but the girlfriend title meant everything to you.
can you see it now, how wrong you were?
can you remember what it felt like when you climbed into the grave you’d dug for yourself, and let everyone else have their turn shoveling the dirt in, enough to choke and suffocate you, while you tried desperately to breathe?
when they were done burying you, you laid there for days, for weeks, for years, half asleep while your heart was barely beating, until you finally somehow found the voice they’d tried to silence. you clawed through the dirt and mud you were covered in until you started to see the sunlight make it’s way back in, until you were able to take a deep breath of fresh air. your fingernails were broken and bleeding and it took ages to scrape the leftover grime out from underneath.
you took everything bad that had ever happened to you, every hurtful, degrading word someone said to you, and turned it all around. you ripped off the skin everyone else had painted on for you all those years ago and revealed everything hidden underneath, all the things you thought you were supposed to forget. i could tell you that you’re currently doing things you’d only ever dreamed of doing, but the truth is, you were doing them all before, and you can keep doing them for as long as you have a place on this earth. you are seeing things the way you used to, the bright colors and beauty in everything and you’ve been crying happy tears full of so much emotion more often than you’re crying the ugly ones. keep going and i promise you will be so amazed at the things you’re capable of doing. i promise.
Dear self
34 years. For many years you questioned if today was safe to come home. For every year only thing that changed was the bottle you held on too. For every night you spent fighting the demon. For every mornings you faked it till you made it. For every second you prayed for a home. For every minute you just wanted your bed. For every hour you had another refilled. The end of 2023 you lost control. So what makes this year special?! You finally took accountability. All though this year still has a lot to go. This year you regain touch to reality. This year you gain strength to stand up for that little girl. This year you finally saved her. This year you make 5 years since you gave her a home. This year just remind yourself you been through worst, so there’s nothing too big or to small you can’t overcome. This year you bring peace and that alone will give your life meaning. This year is just part of your healing. This year is yours Baby!