Dear Me,
Today has been one for the books! (Easily the best day of this year)
There were so many factors that made this day extraordinary! What is most important though, is the fact I was able to unveil 3 new discoveries all in one day!
For starters, I stepped outside of my comfort zone. Being in. Asheville especially on a Saturday, I normally go to the same places and restaurants downtown, but not this time. I tried a variety of different foods and drinks. For the food portion, my personal favorite had to be the Nashville Hot Tofu. For the drink, the one that stood out to me most was called the Green Monster. Not the energy drink, rather, a Boston Alcoholic drink. [since those discoveries I have now went pescatarian knowing there are stilll so many amazing and tasty options while being on a well balanced diet.]
Further, the entirety of the vacation was a mother daughter bonding experience.when you bond with someone that means so much to you, you are able to really take a genuine interest and learn even more about each other. For the first time, mama said she viewed me as one of her best friends! Hearing that alone comforts my heart knowing I have finally achieved the relationship I have also longed for with her.
Last but certainly not least…you found yourself Alexis! You found who you truly want to be in life.
…….I don’t want to be just one thing. I want to be EVERYTHING I can be.
Love🖤,
Yourself

there is always more
of you to love

this month i learned to throw a punch
with painted nails from girls who loved
to yell and sing covered in blood
and huff and cry to feel enough
of who we are beneath these gloves
we sang “let it
go”
to card games and birthday cakes
to your forks and my plates
with « green light » in the background
the porch’s bulb, the dancing
sound, the alarm to cower
if you burn a witch

can i have this dance
called theatre, kids
too tipsy to know the rules
when the cards are dealt
on coffee spills
and yet cackles abound

hidden crunch bars in pockets
whipped cream on faces
drama we missed
drawn out banter
all a new good place
yoghurt, flavor of the year
only marks the clock’s ticks
i was never ready to get
on that plane when I lent you my polo
i spun in that chair like a ‘coaster
to stop the spilling of spirits
to guard this tender ticker

this place showed me
how to find more to love in

waffles and berries and potato soup
and essays that taught us to punch
holes in bags of delicate lies
reveal a world of shared desires
in the sunshine that rays from our lips
and the leisure with which we exist
together
expanding with
each forehead kiss, my third
carry-on premonitions
until our next collision

I asked myself, is this real?
this day is truly coming true.
the day where we both step on the podium and look at each other in the eyes,
while we listen to someone else tell us that this is a forever bond,
is this truly happening?
are we truly becoming one?
April 29th two years ago was the first time we kissed,
and on the 29th of 2023, our first kiss took place again,
but now as a married couple,
as a husband and a wife,
how dreamful it was to see your teary eyes,
in a moment where time froze as we held hands and gave each other our vows,
how fulfilling I felt,
watching you place the ring on my finger while smiling as a tear drop came down of those beautiful brown eyes.
How loved I felt when you kissed my hand, and the butterflies in my stomach danced at the rhythm of the pulse in your hands that accelerated when I placed my love in your ring finger,
I will never forget that special moment where the pastor said you may now kiss your wife,
and you looked at me with awe, and excitement and I just knew that this moment of us would forever remain in my heart,
as the day that my best friend and I chose to continue our friendship and created a marriage that might not be perfect,
but it is worth being in for the rest of our lives.

The following poem is my entry to the contest… as well as being a poem about an experience with a moos in the wilds of Colorado. Being camped near Monarch Pass [elevation 11.350 ft), maybe a couple thousand feet lower on the banks of the North fork of the Arkansas River in June of 2023. I trust that you’ll enjoy the piece, and leave me a comment or two! Respectfully submitted, Ray Whitaker

BLACK MOOSE

It resonates with me
my encounter with another mysticism of nature
at the edge of the mountain glen.
While chancing to be near it
the large, black mass standing stationary in the aspens
as if to be unnoticed by being still

a bull moose eating leaves from above it’s head
a thin line of silver fur
going from mighty shoulder to mid back
young antlers soon to be a fierce armament
now in velvet, growing
as if to scoop up the world.

Moving closer
keeping a mature pine betwixt
the likely over a thousand pounds of magnificence
and my wonder

thus occupied I did not worry
when he stopped eating
looking in my direction
standing there wondering about me perhaps
as he stood in the dappled sunlight.
Astonished at the proximity
noticing the depth of these brown eyes
pushing souls together, mine to his
brown, mine, to brown, his
iris’ different, mine round, his oval

being in the moment of no thought
now wondering if he had a name
no feeling of fear in that closeness
only around twenty paces separating us
the sun shone on me as I looked
and as if I felt that regal power-black fur
a strength, assurance, commanding the ground
he stood on, like owning the very earth.

He is next to my tree now
having moved so silently
and keeping the thick pine between us,
our eyes locked still
getting what each other had to give
my consciousness mingling
with the being of this immense creature
his long neck craning around, reaching nearly in my space.

I moved away, breaking the mesh
keeping the pine tree between we two
having realized this tree
was woefully small
having become a wood beetle now uncovered under the bark
I retreated to the next few tall pines nearby.

I am the Rhinoceros Beetle now.

Our conversation had not ended
tho no words had been spoken out loud
no malice felt, only a near wistfulness
from the moose and I.

Like a translator would be appreciated
to move the instances together somehow

staring into each other’s eyes
for longer still
feeling the thoughts
each having our own insights
of consciousness
and intuitiveness

that powerful rippling muscled black now moving away
my humanness moved in this moment.

Even wanting to know where all this would go
I did not follow deeper into this thicket, his woods.

Sunlight drips through the ancient trees

It drips into my skin
Warming me in the cool forest.
The warmth of the Universe tells me I am Home

I am at home in Nature surrounded by laughter of girls becoming the young woman that will change the world

I see their Magic
I see their Power
I see their Weirdness

And I remember the Joy of being that Girl
Weird
Smart
Ambitious
The world ahead of me Vast and Limitless
And my only wish for all the
Weird
Smart
Ambitious
Girls of the World is that they have the Courage, Confidence, and Character
to make this life and Earth better for all of us

After searching my whole life for that feeling of Peace and Promise
I found it

Drenched in sunlight, laughter, and song
Smelling of dust and dew
Just to be me in this place is more than I could have ever dreamed

It’s supreme to see, the difference between guided meditations between poets. The way one’s words can give spirit the will to steer a movement. And the lost of the spoken word to preform in-front of gods when its lost in moments. This pine box that kept lock the pillars of actions, and thoughts which keep me in motion. It’s these times when a call from god can give you the Courage to defeat the cowardice of self service to societies involvements. But it came from an unsealed person, who wasn’t washed by the addictions of personal cues to batter the isolated person. A personified hue-man who gave me the impression to be a super soldier. So buried alive was the feeling that my words wasn’t enough to spread a revolution.

To Whomever Finds Themselves Reading This Letter,

To you my dearest stranger, you’d never believe yourself if ‘end of the year you’ told ‘beginning of the year you’ all that the year would bring, all the good and bad and everything in between. Yet, if I had the opportunity to talk to January me, I’d tell myself that I was going to be forced out of my comfort zone, embraced by new friends, and plunged into a sea of unknowns. It’d all be worth it though, since I’d be coming out the other side a better version of myself.

With 365 chances to experience life, unfortunately, it sometimes feels as though the days slip by or blur together, but this year there was one day in particular that undoubtedly was the best and became my favorite–September 3rd. After this day, my life felt like it spun around on its axis and that I finally came up to take that long-awaited breath of fresh air.

Like many great things in life, September 3rd was unexpected. It initially started as the day I’d finally meet up with a random online group I had joined over a year before. I saw it as a fun opportunity to meet new people and worst case scenario, I never had to see them again if it didn’t go well. Carpe diem, right?

Ironic that, soon after saying ‘yes’ to attending this hangout, I was also convinced to go skydiving the morning before our big meetup. Not only would I finally be marking off one of the top items that had been dangling on my bucket list for as long as I could recall, but I’d also be doing so with a bunch of strangers.

September 3rd awakened with sunny rays, blue skies, and on-edge nerves. Even as I drove up to the airstrip, even as I signed a 12-page waiver, and even still as I stepped into my harness, I couldn’t believe today was the day I could actually accomplish such a monumental thing. Surrounded by strangers, embraced with contagiously bright energy, we soared to 13,000 feet, jumped into the clouds, and felt blissfully free. A spike of fear, rush of adrenaline, and pure, ecstatic joy all filled my core. Freefalling was incomparable to anything else I had ever experienced and it was everything I wanted it to be. When the last of us stepped foot back on solid ground, an unspoken pact of friendship was already formed, even if we didn’t know it yet.

After a morning like that, what better way to continue the day than to attend the actual hangout that began it all. Meeting up with my skydive buddies again, we gathered on the beach and soon more and more people arrived. We listened to music, ate, drank, swam, and talked the day away. No matter which way I turned, no matter which stranger I talked to, I was met with smiles, laughter, and genuine conversation.

Our festivities continued until the sun set and darkness covered the beach, except, no one was ready to say goodbye. Hopping over to the nearby bars, we began dancing. And danced we did until we couldn’t anymore. Hopping, spinning, twirling, head banging, and moving any way the music took us, happiness surrounded us all.

Barely believing the clock, we wrapped up our day 21 hours after it all began. As I rested my head back on my pillow that night, I could hardly believe all that happened that day, how much I truly felt fully alive, and how genuine the people were. It’s something special when strangers can come together and instantly have an authentic connection about life, passions, and the dreams we share. Though I hoped to see these kind-hearted, incredible individuals again one day, September 3rd me would never believe what was soon to come my way. How so many of the ‘strangers’ I met that day would very soon become intertwined into my life and me into theirs.

Call it destiny, irony, coincidence, chance, or just life, our stories now all included each other. The days, weeks, and months following September 3rd were packed, near overflowing, with new life experiences. I now found myself surrounded by profound opportunities to make memories with these strangers that unexpectedly and effortlessly became some of my nearest and dearest friends.

So to you, my other fellow, dear stranger, think twice next time you are given the opportunity to say yes to an experience, to start a conversation with someone new, or the chance to step outside of your comfort zone. The unknown, that’s right on the other side of something you may fear, might just be exactly what your life and soul needs.

I’ve had many memorable days and moments within 2023 that I will never forget. All involves my daughter and grandkids. Days, I thought a couple time during my life I would never see, due to two cancer diagnoses. So, those days will always be the best days of my life. There’s no other days better. But I must say, one day in particular I will never forget, and I received it so gracefully. That day would be November 10, 2023. It would be the day I received the words. “No Cancer Found”. Yes, just as the time of year I was diagnosed previously, right around the holidays. I had a couple symptoms that made my MD, as well as myself think the Big (C) may have returned. On this very special precious day, I was told, all was good, and all tests had come back negative. That’s all I wanted to hear during the holidays. One of the greatest gift to myself, after my children. I had been feeling down thinking it would ruin my holidays yet again, but God!

On the day I graduated a lone star shone brightly
With honors and triumph that seemed unlikely.
In the face of discrimination I held my head high
As I alone embraced this achievement with pride.

While others graduated without any strife
I battled biases throughout my life.
My strength, hidden behind Autisms veil,
A power, within that could never fail.

Being the recipient of such a grade
I earned this distinction despite the parade
Of doubts and prejudices that tried to sway
Yet undeterred I persevered every single day.

Their paths were free, from disdain
While I wrestled with enduring pain.
Magna cum laude, a crown
Worn amidst discriminations critique.

This special day of mine shines bright and true
Born from struggles they couldn’t. View.
May it stand tall as a testament clear
To resilience against odds.

The best day is a slow day at work. The best day is the day that the sun is shining, but it’s not too hot outside. The best day is the first day the temperature drops in September. The best day is the day I can give my baby a kiss. The best day is the day I belly laugh with my best friends until my cheeks hurt. The best day is the day I give my mom a hug. The best day is the day I am loving and kind on purpose. The best day is the day without anxiety; the day I can breathe through it. The best day is the day I start a new book. The best day is the day I finish my new favorite book. The best day is the day I start knitting, and every day I get to since. The best day is the day I get to go on adventures with the people I love. The best day is going to the Atlanta Zoo with my oldest sister and our partners. The best day is that same day, at the zoo, when a lion made eye contact with me (I swear it’s true!). The best day is in Boston, watching the second oldest sister graduate from Harvard. The best day is reconnecting with extended family for the first time in a decade in Boston. The best day is the day I went to the Hozier concert, and I was physically connected to the music and the message more than ever before and everyone in the audience was crying and it was beautiful. The best day is the day I realized my chronic illness is teaching me how to stop and rest. The best day is the day my cat decides he wants to snuggle in my lap before bed. The best day is therapy day! The best day is the day I realized I am healing; my hard work is paying off. The best day is the day I let myself cry in front of someone else. The best day is the day I realize I’m as smart as I think I am and, yes, I can prove it to you. The best day is the day I decide to be brave. The best day is the day I do the brave thing.

The day: Sun shining; Vibrancy surrounds.
Within me; a deep gloom, blocking the sun. Torturous thoughts, my demons, gnawing at my sanity and casting flesh to past buried bones. Taunting me with the sad memories of my distant childhood. This occurrence was not unusual in my life, and every time it happened I’d be furious with myself for allowing it to have so much power over me. “Why can’t I just let it go? It’s not happening anymore”. Is what I’d say to myself. But, something was different this time. I felt a call to dive in to this darkness- not to run away from the uncomfortable emotions but to be present for them. So, I invited the demon in. I sat with her, I listened as she told me her story, and why she was in so much pain- of the abuses she endured. The more I listened with compassion and love, the more she’d transform. I wiped her tears and caressed her hair. I told her that it wasn’t her fault, that she was safe now. I felt her rumblings calm into the warmth of the day, the light revealing to me what was not a demon at all, but a scared little girl- In need of the care and protection her parents failed to provide. And, from then on, that’s what I gave her.

In the early hours of May morning
a symphony of life, a world reborn
the air tastes crisp, with a touch of dew
as nature awakens, I feel a jolt at the base of my spine
this was different from the others I felt.

My doctor told me to walk you out
the time was near, so I heed her advice
the sun’s kiss warms the earth’s embrace
as flowers bloom, in a vibrant race
the birds singing in a joyous delight
their melodies dance in the morning light
and I feel your flutters as I jog through out
both in anticipation of our first meeting

a gentle breeze whispers secrets untold
as leaves flourish in the zephyr’s hold
the world’s a canvas, fresh and bright
in the clutch of a spring morning’s light
a day to feel the breath of air’s kiss
surrounded by forest green grass
I imagine your first cry as an angel’s melody.

the fragrance of earth blows sweet air into the atmosphere
and fills the senses with scents so complete
spring is like a hope that is going to take a renewal flight
as I await your arrival to Earth.

So in the stillness of the new day
a May’s evening’s beauty lights the way
It’s a promise of life, a feeling so bright
a gift from nature, in the moon’s glow
my favorite kind of day ended with you
in my arms as they placed you on my chest
May 15th will forever be my favorite kind of day
the day you light up my spirit with your presence.

Traveling this skyline for you
Taking flights through out the night for you
When I met you
You turn all my fears to reals
Turing my possibilities to my reality truth
One day, Looking forward to standing right in front of you
Holding your hands
And saying I DO
We will be decked out
In our favorite new suits
Nevertheless my best
Was when I met you on June 20th, 2023
It was our greatest test
We hardly slept and got any rest
Sleepiness nights
This love feels so calendar nice
Never second guessing
At first, our trust issues got the best
But that wasn’t the end nor the rest
Falling in love with who I am
Falling in love with this woman
Cause now all I can say is I CAN

How did I get here?
Yesterday was my first day of school
I think I blinked and now I’m done
It’s really almost cruel

My eyes were open before the sun
could wink its first few rays
Went through my usual morning routine
It was just another day

But suddenly my shoes didn’t fit
My dress was way too tight
My gown looked wrinkled and needed an iron
Makeup wouldn’t sit quite right

“Today of all days!” I though in dismay
I tried to take a deep breath
I started to sweat, started to fret
Oh but it wasn’t over yet

“I know I signed up months ago!”
Now I was starting to panic
“I’m sorry,” she said, “You’re not on the list!”
I think I’m going to be sick

Truth be told, I was dreading this day
Long before it came
It meant the end of what I knew
Where everything was the same

I’m standing on the precipice of change
The long and winding road that is the rest of my life
Looming large and unfamiliar
Past and future balanced on the point of a knife

It’s all worked out, I step in line
Pomp and Circumstance ringing in my ears
No time to look, no time to run
Time to face the music, face the fears

The lights are blinding, I squint and stare
I look up and I finally see
All the people in the world I love
Come all this way for me

The show is a blur I can barely remember
Laughing and crying all the while
With careful steps I cross the stage
Accept my diploma with a smile

It’s not so bad on the other side
I cautiously consider
What was I so afraid of?
(Besides getting old and bitter)

“You’ll be chasing that high forever,
All downhill from here,” they say
Your life doesn’t end after school
It starts on Graduation Day

Dear Unsealers:

2023 is rapidly coming to a close.
365 days have come and gone.
Yet, one particular day this year stands out from the rest.

It was Sunday, October 1st.

After spending a week running around mainland Greece, our group boarded a plane departing from Athens and arrived on the island of Crete. Kalimera to the city of Heraklion.

Island time had kicked in with a later start. But it would be a busy day nonetheless.

Our first stop brought us to the archeological site at Knossos. The open air seat of the Minoan civilization. The Labyrinth was underneath our feet, alas there was no sign of the mythic Minotaur around.

The next stop was to the Titakis Winery.

A tour of the vineyard began amongst the vines. Walking through vines and picking off the grapes to eat. The production process was explained further before we tasted the wine. Two tables under blue skies, sunshine and four different wines. Each one getting its due.

Further around the island we went for lunch. It would be a multi course affair with abundant food and conversation. At this point of the trip, our group had become like family. For good measure, the meal finished with a round of the liquor Ouzo. Don’t be fooled by its clarity, the drink packs quite a punch.

As we arrived back at the hotel, the day wasn’t over yet.

Upon arriving at the hotel the day before, I had seen the logo of the soccer club AEK Athens in the conference room nearby. I didn’t understand the reason why it was there, though.

As I made my way up to the hotel’s lobby, the sound of soccer chants filled the air. A big smile on my face, the star struck look on our guide’s face as AEK is the soccer team her and her sons support and bewilderment from everyone else. AEK Athens was in town for a match against the local side OFI Crete F.C..

The group of thirty two became thirty six as a pair of college students and a pair of professional Greek dancers joined us on the bus heading to dinner. The sun set over Iraklio as day turned to night.

We arrived at a taverna on the other side of the island. Nary a soul around as we walked up the steps to the terrace. Tables laid out below the vine covered roof. And on the horizon, a full moon changing colors in the sky.

The meal began with a pair of musicians providing the soundtrack for the night. Without saying a word, the island’s passion was felt.

After the meal was done and the dancers had shown us their moves, it was time for us to join the celebration and dance. The joy in the room was so strong, the ouzo that had been brought out wasn’t needed.

I went up to the musicians to thank them for the music. I mentioned to them that I was a writer and a poet.

And one of them made a wish for me: that I would return to Crete to spend the summer writing.

As I looked up at the full moon on the way back to the bus, I knew it was an amazing day.

And there was still the visit to Santorini on the near horizon.