Falling in love with myself was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
Loving myself was not love at first sight.
Or maybe it was.
But that means the love was lost somewhere ,
Maybe during one of those long summer nights.
But I’m not sure if the love was ever there.
maybe it’s always been a constant fight.

But I do know it’s about time I write myself a love letter acknowledging and admiring the love I have for myself.

So Dear Self
How are you?
I wrote to say
I am completely in love with you.
This may come as a shock because I don’t show you as much as I need to.
I love you so much.
Not just because of the cute face or big butt.
You are truly amazing.
you feel like home to me now.
I feel safe when I’m with you.
Because after all that we’ve been through
the self doubt and not thinking we’re good enough to do what we wanted to.
I love your goals,
Keep thinking out of the box.
Aim for the stars and never stop.
Keep going until you’re out of this world
And never compare yourself to any other girl.
You can’t compare apples to oranges,
You are something from another galaxy.
You are otherworldly.
YOU ARE so worthy,
Of everything that you can ever imagine
You deserve roads paved with gold,
Men kneeling and kissing your toes
YOU ARE a goddess.
And that’s enough said
Everyone knows when a goddess walks into the room.
Because what she demands is RESPECT.
You are valued by me.
And I appreciate you truly.

I’ve learned that love is a choice,
Love is a decision.
And I notice something else everyday that makes loving you a clearer vision.
I made it my mission to love you through and through
For all the times you felt like nobody loved you.
And if no one tells you today I love you
and may your heart continue to be filled with love from any and every which way.
yours truly.

Pretty little girl,
Pretty little girl,
Don’t you cry.
I dreamed that one day,
You’ll hold your head up high
So your wings can fly.
I know you wish upon a star at night,
to free your soul inside.
Your dreams let you escape from the reality you must face.
Don’t let them tell you your fate.
You must be courageous.
So sit up straight,
Hold your head high
Release your beauty that’s burrowed inside.
No more tears shall run down your face,
You’ve faced worse in life,
So live your life,
Live for today.

It’s hard to come up with reasons to love myself
The mean words get stuck on my shelf
But for this prompt, I will give it a try
Dear self, I love the way you look at the sky
When you see a sunset, bird, or plane
And the music you listen to on the train
Thank you for being my constant number one
For letting me relax with friends and have fun
I love that you’re so funny
And just as sweet as honey
I love that you have so many passions
And have a true taste for fashions
I love your poems, writing, and art
Why do you think you’re not smart?
I love your blue eyes, little glasses, and curly hair
So there is no need to compare
Yourself to girls who have a boyfriend or seem outgoing
Know that you yourself will always be glowing
And when the right time comes, you’ll find one too
So there is no need to be blue
See, it’s not that hard to love yourself
Can you try to keep these words on your shelf?

“To Love Herself”

For years and years, you’ve walked this earth, blue eyes taking in the sites.
What have you seen, what have you learned?
Oh little girl, are you concerned?
For years and years, and many more years you’ll grow, shine, and love.

Forevermore, if there is an ever more,
You wander toward your goals, with patience and ease.
Gliding through, envy, and things that have destroyed you.

Little girl, grown up to be a woman, forced into womanhood too young.
What have they done… How 25 treats you and your blue eyes…
It is like the sun met the moon.
Confident, creative, and sometimes crude.

Your life is why I love you.

Warrior, you have been battling for 913 days
Radiation, surgeries, chemo times two
Just breathe
Mama, you persevere through the tired and the pain
Your girls admire your strength and grit
Just Breathe
Daughter, your family, chosen and blood, surround you with their love
Although it is difficult to watch them experience this madness along with you,
Just Breathe
Lisa, your faith is strong and this battle has been too long
Yet wake each day and smile
your positivity is contagious and your courage is that of a true warrior
Just Breathe

This is a poem that I wrote recently free writing in my journal. I didn’t realize I would turn it into a poem until I went back and read it.
Naked Soul
By: Nikki Griffin

How is it possible to be so full and yet so empty at the same time? I get so close to greatness and yet can’t quite grasp it. There have been so many glimpses of the old me and the new me living my best life.

I do not like this in between. So full of love and passion but yet so lonely and void. Things that used to fill me no longer do. Lost between the old world, the old me and watching the world I live in fall apart, so what is the point.

Shedding that that no longer serves me, longing for that missing piece that probably will never be filled. Knowing my worth but not feeling good enough.

Where do I run, which side wins? Where do I hide and who is going to help me dry my tear-stained eyes. Where do I find me, in the space where I feel free, in the dark of night where one can see. In the light where I can shine so bright? What good does it do to shine if no one truly sees the pain that it takes to be me.

How can one be at peace but yet at war? It mirrors the world in which I live. So tonight, I ask thee will I ever be truly free?

light and dark.
Meant to represent balance.
But in my chest represents the madness.
But I feel a special light.
It’s undeniable, my spirit is incredibly bright.
Then there’s the uncertainty – the darkest dark, the hardest part.
A pair of doubt and desire for the coldest walk in the park.
Light and dark coexist but the balance was off.

that damn chip
Weighing me down – sullying my light and enriching my dark.
Some days are hard.
But I love my light…
Something tells me it’s meant to shine bright.
Who am I to deny her of that right?
I’m realizing this is the beginning of a new life

To stand in my light
A deep breath from my most intimate depths.
Shedding this skin, eyes finally open to the valley of my best.
To finally bask in my breadth.
giving me life
No longer concerned with what’s right and so over the fight.
Sanctuary in my peaks and valleys.
This stream of love has finally brought me the ultimate balance.
There’s always Light and dark.
But nothing is more compelling than nurturing my heart

Dear You,
It has been such a long journey in this adventure of self love, but I’m so proud of how far you’ve come. After all that you’ve been through, you still glow as bright as the sun. I deeply admire your resilience and ambition to find yourself again. Seeing you fall back in love with life has shown me to stop and appreciate all the little things that make life so beautiful. Even on the days where your light is dim, you still keep your head up and remind yourself that healing is not linear. You always trust your gut whole-heartedly, and fearlessly face your emotions without hesitation. Even the hard ones. The way you hold room for yourself to not be perfect is inspiring. You love and accept your flaws head on, with grace. Watching you grow and evolve into the person you are today is such an honor. Always stay true to who you are.
Love, Yourself

I am learning to love you.
I am learning to love your smile and the way your chubby cheeks make your eyes chinky.
I am learning to love the extra curves around your hips and waist.
I am learning to love your deep and rich skin tone and coily hair.
I am learning to love you because you deserved to be loved.
You deserve to be loved in a way that tailors to all of your love languages.
You deserve to to be loved because your first priority is the needs of others.
You deserve to be loved even when you don’t feel worthy.
Even when you don’t feel worthy I promise to never abandon you.
Even when you don’t feel worthy I will still speak to you like a queen.
Even when you don’t feel worthy I will learn to love you.
Because I love you.

As I walk along the long road, the road we have known all to well,
you have turned to me and asked, Why do You love Me?

I was taken aback, astonished to hear this question echoing in my thoughts.
In the windows of the shops I see the flashes of our life, glimpses of the past from my memory.
Finally I can reply to you about why I Love You, and the answer is simple;

I Love You for your Forgiveness.

Through the Times that I saw no hope;
Through the Times I’ve pushed you away and wished you were someone else;
Through the Times that My anger at the world was thrust upon you;
Through the times when I had no idea how I was going to survive;
Through the times that I’ve Hated how You Look and did everything I could to change you;

You Have Forgiven Me.

You Never wavered in Having Hope;
You always knew that you were who you need to be;
You always knew that when I was tearing you Down that it was from My Perception of Society;
The Rage and Sadness that Scarred You was not your fault, but Rather just me trying to Feel Alive.

Even Now I still want to Change You sometimes, but I know that I would Lose a Part of me if I did.
As I walked I realized I am alone at home, in the bathroom.
I turned to the Mirror, facing Myself; knowing that everything I saw was Simply in my Mind’s Eye.

I Love You for Forgiving Me.

It started as a day like any other, and then she showed up at my door. A friend I met only a couple of weeks ago. Tall, smart, funny: an all around cool girl. She said “I love you,” and time stopped. Creeping fear surrounded me, chilling me to my core. Suddenly, I was pulled back from myself to look at the crime scene that was our friendship, to see what went wrong. Was it something I said or did? Was it the memes we shared? Something had changed to cause this, and I had to get to the bottom of this mystery.

Motive: It is around valentine’s day and people can feel particularly lonely around that time of year, and my friend has told me they have been feeling isolated and alone. Means: We are both single, I didn’t think either of us is looking for a relationship, or so I thought. Opportunity: Shared interests, talking more often recently and just generally good vibes. Verdict: inconclusive. More information required to figure out what happened.

With only one lead, I confronted the person who reported the crime, my friend. All I could think to say to start my interrogation was “Nice… as a friend right?” She laughed and responded saying “Of course. You have a comforting presence, you’re honest and you make me feel heard and seen, and I love that.” And the case was solved. Oh, right. There was no crime to be solved in the first place. I’m trying to fix a problem that doesn’t exist again. I’ve always tried to be there for my friends when they need me, to hear them out, make them feel comfortable and safe, which I consider an act of love. I love that about myself, but it is not often received or reciprocated as love. People have different definitions of what love is, or feels like, so sharing love can be difficult. Turns out when you make space for people to feel vulnerable, safe, understood, and “Loved”, a response could be appreciation through love. Mystery solved.

The reason I was so confused and scared was my inexperience with verbal platonic love. Love isn’t always a transformative word, one used to describe feelings moving forward. It can be a statement of the present, of who you are currently. Being seen and understood, and told that I am loved for who I am are things that I am out of practice and uncomfortable with. I really only hear it from my family, which can feel like an obligation. Most men only hear “I love you” from their partners romantically, and almost never platonically.

I’ve been in a place recently in my life where I’m meeting and spending time with new people who have similar interests and beliefs to myself, and they have similar definitions to love that I do. Being vulnerable, honest and open to new experiences has changed my life rapidly and adjusting and adapting to it has been a journey, and honestly a little scary at times. I’m working on being more comfortable with being loved and accepting love, and I love that for me.

The reasons why
By Nahomie Nicole

In a world so busy
In a world sometimes cold
In a world often isolated
Your love for you, shines through for you
You matter to you
You get up for you
You fight for you
You give up on you
When you realize it
You rise for you
You’re your biggest enemy
Your biggest downfall
Your biggest competition
Through it all, you matter to you
You know, no one has your back like you do
You wish the world had more like you
Solid, capable, intelligent, so beautifully designed
It gets no better than you.
In a world so busy
In a world sometimes cold
In a world often isolated
You love you
This is why you love yourself
So continue fighting for you
Continue rooting for you
Continue shining through
And say to you
These are the reasons why

To the one that moves me most,

Are you still breathing, living and being? It’s seems you are, and that should be a sincere sign of the learned unconditional love that I have for you.

When giving yourself flowers wasn’t enough. When taking yourself on dates wasn’t quite giving the depths of love you craved for your soul, you found what satiated your internal.

I love the way you stare into people’s eyes when they speak to you, making sure they know you are lingering on every word they’re offering. I love the way you gaze off and allow yourself to dream past the sky that lays down thin blankets of limitation.

There’s a tenderness when you caress the ones you love and a desire to do everything you can to make sure they feel open. Zealous and passionate you are, even when you feel alone in your tenacity. When you want to scream, you allow yourself to dig deep and bellow. When you want to cry, you move beyond one lonely tear and allow rivers to flow. You feel deeply and for that I love you.

The joy that arises when you watch people do their best and the peace that overcomes you when you stand by the ocean goes beyond human comprehension. I love the many times you’ve pulled money from the holes in your pockets or sacrificed your last to make sure others went first.

Your convictions stand stronger than the mountains people always talk about moving. Your quiet voice thunders when it’s time to stand up for what and who matters most. Your voice draws in responses to its melody. Even in all your thundering, shaking and definite declarations, you cause people to melt softly.

Your jokes are so timely and you smile even when others don’t. Sometimes you trip over your own two feet and laugh on the way down-never thinking about bringing other people down with you. Remember when you overcame your fear of babies, held one close and decided then and there that they would one day be your forever?

I love it when you strike with your tongue, then walk away and come back to apologize. You dance, sing and create with abandon. You see what is often missed and build tables for those who feel they have no place to dine.

Then, there was this one time where you looked in the mirror and stared into your eyes with disgust and anger. You hated everything about your body, mind and spirit. Suicide was too scary to fathom but you needed it. You turned on the faucet and let the sink fill and rise to the top. How silly this attempt was, but how serious was that moment. You submerged your face into it, waiting to see if you would allow yourself to actually drown.

You went down in the grips of death and came up gasping for aliveness. You wanted life. You wanted others to want life. With the sound of rushing water in the background, eyes closed and breath depleted, all that you could envision were others on the same ledge. You tried to scream for them but your lungs were filled up and the only way to save them was to choose.

See, I love you for your fight, your honesty and ability to forget afflictions. I love you for your dimples, your love of coffee and the way you chase adventure while navigating loneliness. I love you because love is stronger than death. I decided to let you live when you wanted to die due to my adoration for you.

Just like you shake foundations within everything you do, You move me and I want to be moved like that for as long as we live.

I love you because we understand the perfectly diligent hands of the one who has made us and each stitch from those hands brought an inheritance of power, beauty and worthiness. Until the not so untimely end, I will love you because of this inheritance we encompass.

Love,

The one who will always be moved.

Today I decided to write a letter to myself. However, I wanted to be honest in this letter, I wanted to be honest about the process of coming to love myself and how it’s all coming together. Loving myself hasn’t always been easy, in fact it’s been one of the scariest journeys I’ve ever embarked on. I know for others loving themselves may come naturally. However, for me, loving myself has been a process and loving others always felt so much easier. This is why instead of loving myself, self-sabotaging and people-pleasing came more naturally to me. Growing up I did not have the luxury of being taught the gift of loving myself, to honor myself, respect myself, or cherish my own thoughts and feelings. I wasn’t taught to truly value myself and my own opinions. Although I did not possess this gift early on, I always pretended that I loved myself unconditionally. However, deep inside I would scold myself for making simple mistakes, like saying something “dumb” or never being on time for anything. Or even not being the perfect parent, spouse, etc.. for years of my life, I wore a facade that covered how I truly felt about myself. I struggled with accepting myself. I struggled with comparing myself to others and I also accepted all the loud intrusive thoughts about how I wasn’t good enough. So, you see, loving me hasn’t always been easy. Nonetheless, I cannot help but think that even in all the chaos, even in the facade and the intrusive thoughts, the only one who has been able to keep me afloat is me. I was the only one who continued to show up for me every day. Which leads me to think that maybe I have not given myself the truly deserved credit, in this process of loving myself. So, if I had to write a soppy love letter to myself today and answer the question of why I love me, I would say “you have helped me to push through all the lies, doubts and fears of loving myself. Because you did not give up on me, even on the many days that I wanted to give up. You did not lose sight of who you truly are regardless of the lies, me or others told you. Over the years you have given me a new perspective on loving and accepting me. Other qualities about you that have helped me through this process, is your resilience, your strength to endure and your ability to take every false word about yourself and turn it into something good. Over the years I’ve learned that although, I wasn’t born with or taught the innate gift of loving myself. I have a choice to love me anyway! I have a choice to love myself every day. I could choose to love myself beyond what used to be a rooted fear and disbelief of myself. I could truly take off the facade and love myself for the great women I have come to be. For starters, I am a mother, a sister, a daughter and a friend and before any of those things I am honest, open, loving, accepting of others, caring and very passionate about the things that I love the most. I am a creative person, who enjoys turning the ugly things or not so good things into something amazing. I enjoy telling stories and getting lost, freely writing and expressing my feelings. I am someone who sees the beauty in everything and everyone. Now, I realize I can be all these things and more, because this is who I am at my core.. No longer do I have to People-please to seek validation, or self-sabotage because of disbelief. I can truly love myself in a way that is self-assertive and unconditional. No matter what mistake we, so happen to make, we can look past that mistake without wearing it as a tag to our overall self-esteem. I think that I would say to myself going forward that although this journey can be scary, uncertain and sometimes even lonely, don’t ever quit or stop acknowledging all of your small efforts of loving and honoring yourself daily. Don’t get too caught up on your hang ups, but instead, remember that loving yourself always begins with the decision/choice to choose to love you above all else, beyond all the lies. Even the ones created by you. These days I would say that I am more accepting of myself, more patient, more kind, more loving, gentle and overall good to me. This has been the process in which I have come to love myself, and now it’s time to love my neighbor as I love Me! 😉
P.S
A letter to Myself

Your pages are torn and shredded yet the story inside is so compelling.
It’s one you can’t put down, as you anticipate what’s to come.
You’ve been handled so rough but your binding stays unharmed.
You mustered up courage to survive the harsh storms.
You who was once closed off and unable to share the contents inside.
Has now become my favorite novel full of surprises.
You were afraid of the world and pressures of life.
Now you embrace the challenge with a smile so bright.
The story of you is no longer hidden.
You learned to love wide open, unafraid of what’s written.
You ignore the corrections made by critics.
As you are the author of this life and of you.

Self love
What is self love?
Self love is:
Loving yourself
Appreciating yourself
Growth
Happiness
Accepting
Well-being
Self love
It’s different
For everyone

I’ve struggled
With self love
With loving myself
With accepting myself
My whole life
It’s been a journey
Finding myself again

I’ve been
Made fun of
Teased
Bullied
For how I look
For my size
For the scars
On my body

You’re so small
How tall are you?
What size shoe do you wear?
You’re so small
You’re head is a hand rest
I could shove you
In my pocket
You’re a midget
Pint-sized
A shrimp
Kids are taller than you
What’s with all the scars?
Why do you have them?
Look at her tummy?
It’s all messed up
She’s got two belly buttons
Look at her neck?
She’s got a hole in it

Kids are mean
Kids are bullies
Kids are cruel
Kids don’t understand
Becoming the girl with the tummy scars
Becoming the girl with the hole in her neck
Becoming the small girl with tiny feet

I was embarrassed
By my scars
But I know now
They show strength
They show I survived
They show I lived
Despite the odds
Despite the complications
The multiple surgeries
I endured as a baby

I wished my feet were bigger
To fit into real women’s shoes
But now I don’t mind
Having small feet
I can fit into kids shoes
Finding shoes for cheap
I still can fit into women’s shoes
If I’m looking for something fancy

I always wished I was taller
Like it wasn’t fair
The tall gene skipped me
Like why?
But I have expected my size
I can fit into kids clothes
For cheaper
I can still find lots of cute things
In smaller sizes
I can fit anywhere
I can push my way
Up to the front of concerts
I’ve Learned to climb
Things with ease
To reach high things
I’m not small
I’m fun size

So yeah
It took awhile
To find myself again
To love my self again
To accept my self again
To love my body again
To accept my flaws
To love my flaws

I’m still learning everyday
To love myself
To accept myself
To love my body
Scars, flaws and all
Some days are better than others
But I’m no where near where
I was before

Life feels dark and gray
despite any good, I feel myself going astray.
Chaos in my mind and sadness in my soul
Most days I’d like to curl up inside a little hole.
What I love about myself most
is even when it’s dark, give up? I don’t.
Wallow for a moment, feel it and let go-
What is this teaching me, how can I grow?
It won’t feel like this forever so I need to just flow.
Love that I find balance between discipline and rest.
I swear, not judging yourself amidst the chaos will leave you feeling your best.

Beautiful me,

It’s been a while! There has been so much noise around us that it makes it feel like we are far away. But that’s impossible. I am always within you, embracing your heart and soul every step of the way.

I want to say: Thank you for everything! Thank you for the life you have given me! I need to tell you because I can hear your thoughts sometimes, doubting and being so hard on yourself. Please stop that! You have made me incredibly resilient! Ever since we were little curly-haired babies, you have dared to run towards your biggest fears and you keep overcoming them; You wanted to see the world, and here you are, calling home the most incredible places you could ever dream of. You have challenged yourself and you conquered with kindness, hard work and imagination.

Thank you for being funny! Yes, you are undeniably funny! Even when you don’t want to or even try, you bring smiles to your loved ones and even stranger’s faces. You are always praising people that you think have what you call “transparent souls”, and I am here to tell you that you feel so drawn to them because YOU ARE one of them!

Thank You for being so strong and breaking up with that due when you had to! Freeing our time and our path to open up to the most beautiful time of your life so far.

Thank you for giving us time alone, to actually get to know and most importantly, love ourselves.
Thank you for doing the work! For realizing that sadness and misery were not our natural states, and you got us out of there! You forgave the world, but most importantly, you forgave yourself!

Thank you for all the sad moments where we have held ourselves with compassion and patience leading us again to the ways of happiness, contentment and peace.

And lastly; Thank you for getting yourself some traveling poopourri! Saving ourselves from anxiety and providing the comfort to liberate our bodies at any point that we need! It is indeed the little things that make so much impact!

I hope you hear me and feel me again soon! I can’t wait to laugh with you with all our lungs.

Love you and admire you infinitely, always!
Beautiful me <3

To the girl whose always given others love,
It’s time you put yourself above.

You’ve always had to care for others,
so this year, love yourself a little harder.

Love your laugh, your smile, & the way that you glow.
Love yourself enough to tell other people “no.”

You are brightness, you are love, you are more than you think.
You are creative, you are clever, you are the missing link.

You’ve cried for nights & been through hurt,
You’ve been through fights, your name dragged through dirt.

Love yourself enough to heal & be better.
Know that along the way you may ruffle some feathers.

Love yourself enough to always protect your mind,
Love yourself enough to remember to be kind.

Even when people aren’t very kind to you,
Do it cause you know it’s the right thing to do.

You’re empathetic, loving, and deserve all the wealth,
So this year, remember to live for yourself.