A letter to little Ashley,

Your such a vibrant , joyous loving soul. With your big brown eyes and dimples that helped illuminate the brightest cheeky smile. Though you were so brave and adventurous, with your tom boy essence as a child , you carry a light that is other worldly, that so many have seen, even in this current moment of time. Its been years when i finally opened that trap door in the shadows of my mind where you were forced to hide all those years. Chained by the spirit of fear. From the negative talks of the projections of faithless word cursing that crushed the magic of creation you had inside that was birthing, it had seemed to have died and smoldered in the ashes of self ,within.
Though it was their diminished beliefs, and self centeredness , they were indeed clueless without bearing witness to your trauma caused by the sexual acts that took place in the basement. The yelling from the constant bedwetting and the stuttering and stammering over words from excitement not noticing it was a clue to the breach within our genetic system. It was the cause of your delayed learning and bouts of anger, because you couldn’t express growing beyond your mental cognition it cause a schism. From that rose a grim reaping to loom over your divinity that tarnished your faith and strength in self for years, and that became the same fear and pain that grew like a tumor of cancer throughout our life. As of today, i am still battling that parasite, just so you can unleash the power you’ve had to hide for so long out of defense.
As the world turns, we together were forced to grow up through the challenges, but before i could even realize this separation happened between us , You were so far deeply pushed into the darkness, so much so that your laughter became silence like a murmur in the distance. Somehow its reminiscent like the autumn leaves i can hear rustling in the wind outside my window like tonight. “Now there’s a voice in my mind saying ,How About Some hot chocolate, with tons of marshmallows foaming at the brim of the cup!? I bet that’ll bring you back to life and perk you up! ”( Like it used too) Lets be optimistic!
That’s how i know your vibrancy still lives within! You give me strength, for today, feeding me sweets and cakes that make us both dance from the goodness of its taste!
I cant help but to laugh.
And you show up even in my daughter, to remind me that my inner child is still alive within. You are my bestfriend, little me! We both have to thank the Great Spirit for wiping the images from our mind at that time, because we both know that had we remembered all these years before we found out who we really are, we wouldnt be here today talking like this with smiles on our face.
“Ive walked away and slammed so many doors to the past just so i can have you back in my life in order for you to feel safe again , because i love you that much. I wanted you to come back outside that door they tried to lock you in. I wanna be your protector and your guardian, because i need you for the future. I need you so that my daughter can proceed to carry the light further, because she too is a mirror of you and the joy ,the love and the happiness you possess. Your childlike nature has helped ME preserver through some of the most heinous things that as a woman should have taken me out, though at times i did slip up and look back and it cause me to regress. But by the grace of GOD, you streamed through like a lifeline into my heart, like a light code that spoke through a frequency saying that all is not lost , you gotta get up! The flame that burns within comes from the light in you. I Know these words are deep to fathom, but i also know that you innerstand, as the cosmic force that you are because you have the keys to reawaken my freedom.
“Our freedom”, for the starseed that we are.We feed and grow and rise with one another in tandem, as if we are an infinite force like that of a sacred symbol.”
Of Course we together will never forget the things that happened, how could we? It is what made us who we are today! It is The story we wrote before we came to this planet in order to awaken and find purpose with one another. Together we are one, a clean heart though it has been bruised with scars that are beautiful. I just want to say thank you, because you as the force that you are is what helped me get up off the floor when i was knocked down to my knees as i rose from the tar pit of my own bloodshed in anguish. You are the light, you are the breath and the spark from the heavens that i look up too everyday when the sunrises. I love you little booger !
You are my Sunshine,
My Ash,
I Love You ❤️

Borrowed time, tampered prime, descenigrating lapse of systems.
Taser filled opportunist lumes over sensibility. Exact knowledge of rephrased wisdom. Confiscated mishaps of vengeance paralyzing the, what if. In the midst of flavor verses favor, I prepare a table. Intense undermining of preparation, I convict thee. To serve or not to serve, the facade of the misled. The challenges exceed exhaustive state of forward movement but I stay ready. Tempting thoughts of fragmented steps so you can get ready and when you do, you stay ready!

Suppressed inconsistencies. Unmatched premonition of self loathing and overwhelming destress. Patience steers the wheel of evolution and science fiction. Within belief I’m stricken. Pulsating convictions with immediate results. Camera shy actions of an insult. Take in criticism like a daily vitamin, with self love as your kryptonite and effective communication as a weapon of might, so use it wisely knowing that patience is working in your favor and is usually reciprocated, allowing for forgiveness which frees you from the intercepting vengeance of bondage, while building character, for joy should be effortless, so don’t just exist, live. 🫶🏿

You are stronger and wiser than you know
Your thoughts are stalking you
do not queue any hue that’s not meant for you
People’s opinions of you are their own.
You are stronger than you were yesterday.
continue to forgive yourself for not being able to control the horrific actions of others.
Self-love is necessary for your healing.
It is putting you back together whole and true.
forgive any past actions by acknowledging how they have not served you well.
You will continue to trust the process and your progress.
You will not let the fear of being taken advantage of scare you to stillness.
You will stand up for yourself and tell the truth.
You will do it with dignity and respect.
You will be vulnerable even when it makes you uncomfortable.

Fendi and Gucci are idolized
remaining sane is ostracized
when you stand up against the man, you will be demoralized
my pain runs deep like it’s crystallized
I can’t even front I became hypnotized
I can’t run forever, shit, I’ve already been traumatized
I’m in therapy, like bankruptcy to reorganize
my life changed when I prioritized the beautiful sunrise
it is in this time I came to analyze, and visualize my next sacrifice
I plan to live forever in this paradise

Pending transactions, exemplified male tractions. I hold these truths to be self-evident, that I am the truth, the light, and the way. Mockery of self-gratification interrupts sensory.
Sensory of convenience and stride, that pimped out momentum of pride. I have no doubt, that I can love me, forever, rings in the echoed frustrations of potential.
Potent aids of expectations and security breaches. Unfiltered predictions and passed down sorrows and frictions. Demands of freedom on guard. Stagnant states of undreamt forward movement, projections of enduring.
Endurance of setbacks and pain forgotten, for within victory I’m plotting. Plotting up a role beyond my own initiative. Do not expect less cause in this chapter, I announce recess. Air Bourne opinions, shape shifting emotional bonds and irrelevant feelings.
Irrelevant feelings of acceptance and assurance for God is my rock. On a need-to-know basis redirects traffic, for I am the moderator, the innovator, and the headliner. I am the chapter.

Telisha L Dennis
Saturday-4/20/2024

Chapter 327
Today i turned 33.
Happy birthday to me!
Though those challenges through those dark visions i seen in my dreams last night was an attack to my esteem.
Waking up to clouded skies and high winds this morning shifted my perception thinking “ maybe its the heavens blowing in the winds of change for me?
I decided to walk.
First I headed to the barber shop for a fresh cut, now Im feeling myself.
With my head phones on out the door. Taking a trip to the coffee house down the road for a hot cup of Black Seal .
A soiree of Happiness filled my heart , through the first sip with a bone chilling scent of sweet almond, reminiscent to the decadent amaretto with notes of decanter liqueur twirling in the mix .
Big smiles from the coffee house barista with a full house of beings bantering amongst themselves, listening to the constant bells of the door opening and closing to those coming and going in.
Finishing my cup i swift my way out the door, “Its time to go to the art store.”
I purchased some spray paint for my project so eager to rush home and pour my heart onto the canvas before its time to go pick up my daughter. For a number of days leading up til today, Ive reflected on how far Ive came.
“I always viewed my life as a book filled with riddles, altered dimensions blended with moments of joy and memories of a journey convulsing with supernatural happenings as most would deem as some of the more stranger things”.
None the less, indeed it is a new chapter, my life has consisted of many chapters left with cliff hangers and some unsolved mysteries all that lead to this new book as i stand at the edge of the mountains ready to plummet into my next book of life leaving karmic ties of the past behind.
At this very moment i cant help but to smile, as the sun shines finally beaming in Gods love and light upon my face typing this letter about my excitement for the best things to come.
As it just dawned on me of how today itself is like a metaphor, “ Waking up to gloomy clouds and high winds. Like the swirl of a storm coming in, to cleanse but by days end, the sun will shine again”.
Typically i would over indulge in sweet cakes , red wine and a side of cajun wings and fries for my birthday but im on a slight fast for the weekend as i prepare for the gift to take a trip swaying in earths sacred medicine.
Im so excited for the venture, for i know it’ll open the roads out of my mind with hidden text in this next book like a sacred scripture etched in peruvian mountains, or hieroglyphs upon the cave walls like the Grand Canyon perhaps?
For there is a burning desire and deep love to further find myself as I thread on, with expanded wings into the unknown.
This chapter is just a binacular scope to getting closer to my dreams as i further on to slay the minifibers of fear nestling on the hairs of my skin.
“Its like beating the finally boss at the end of the game and the credits roll in”
327 is like a code to my inner matrix that im breaking similar to a complex rubix cube of suduko written in hebrew language.
And though to the outer world my inner being is in fact complex, i see it as a hidden passage way to a secret garden no man has had a hand in creating.
A chapter within a chapter… except i am the creator of my story that was already written.
“Speaking now from the thoughts of my Higher Self, the future self”
Doctor Strange disguised as the thinking woman, whose peering into the multiverse of self, reading the foot prints like a sand dune of sanskrit , eyes zoomed in like a magnifying glass.
Its interesting how vivid the imagination is within my mind but then again its sightings of truth that my memory has stored from millions of generations I have lived through out time.
“Im ready to get started and re-remember this chapter of 327, only this time, i am sure to live far beyond the age of 33 this lifetime.

The most mind alerting experience that changed my perception on life was my first time sitting with AYAHUASCA. It was a day ill never forget, alot of changes took place at the start of 2020 for me. First, was a blessed trip i manifested to go to sedona Arizona for a few days , 2 days after new years day in January. The year before on new years eve in 2018 , i prayed to God and my spirit family for a sense of relief and a way to become closer to The Great Spirit and self, after attempting suicide the morning of December 9th of 2018. I was then being monitored by relatives at the time for about a month or so after that notion.
The night of New Years while spending the night over my families house, i sat in the basement after midnight, still feeling shattered on the inside.
It was like as if it was still the day that i decided in those moments when i was so fed up and ready to leave this world, that the angel of darkness had wisped away the light of my soul to keep, due to the empty void in my heart as i cried out for grievance from the constant unfortunate events that had rapidly transpired the past few years from the various forms of abuse I endured. Unknowingly my life was going in a downward spiral of a noiseless pit full speed and I had no clue. “ I was too busy drinking and dancing my sorrows away once upon a time”.

While in Sedona i found a sense of peace for the moment, learning simple healing modalities to reset my vagus nerve, eft tapping etc. I cried through the Angel healing session, as well as on the guided hike with the practitioner that followed into the creek before the mountain peak view.
There in Sedona I felt home being in the red earth desert land. Viewing the Grand Canyon was a surreal moment by it self. Staring into the massive gapping drop of mountains that formed a bowl like ridge as if it was a wondrous abyss to freedom. Though silence flooded the cool air , In my mind I felt as if there were many faces of passed on loved ones shaping the jagged edges in the mountains. “These were my ancestors”, the spirits of the Southwest spoke to me but without words, the same whispers i heard that night sitting in my families basement that told me, this was the place I needed to come for refuge.
As of now i realized me and those distant mountains have had many pastlives together, as far back to a time where they actually had the ability to speak back ( somehow Merlin comes to mind as i am typing this). They called out to me the night i cried for a wish of deliverance, “Not knowing it was a motion for me to come home”. After my short lived experience though the most memorable at that time in my life, I of course wanted to peer deeper into the supernatural world and learn more of who i was , though its deemed taboo to this world, I was lead to a man in a serendipitous moment. Again i asked the universe to meet a Shaman somehow , then met one at a crystal shop weeks after, giving short sessions for cleansing at a limited time.
After we spoke and i shared some of the tumultous happenings, he felt inclined to discuss sacred medicine with me , thats when i was lead to an Ayahuasca retreat in the month of september in 2020 ( what a year for a spiritual awakening) .After hours passed, once the medicine settled in, underneath the open stared sky that night , laying before a huge bonfire i felt the drift taking hold. An intense 5 hour purge of consistent tears and sobbing weakened my body to finally surrender all of the hidden hurt and pain Ive held dormant since a child came bursting through in the trapped door, hidden in the folds of the cortex of my mind.
There was this one moment when something told me to lay my head down upon the grass as i was rubbing the ground shaking from the hurt; when i seen my mother appear in the grass as if a glass floor was beneath me , literally. She told me to touch her hand ,reaching upward toward me and said “I m right here with you, im here, im here”.
Seeing my mother made me so happy i grieved harder, for she had passed away the day before Mothers Day unexpectedly in 2019. That shocking moment too was another stabbing ache of pain that left a scar within my heart. Another out of this world moment from that experience with momma Aya was when i was walking up the deck stairs and everything was rippling, even the touching of door knobs with grid lines forming behind everything. It shed light that the world that we live in is indeed holographic and not real, though to our naked eyes it would seem as if what we see on a day to day basis was in fact truth, but i KNOW it to be different. Ever since, my life was never the same, but for great reason.
As of now Ive had other experiences that have made an important impact on my life , it most definitely gave a reason why The Great Spirit would not let me leave this earth so soon when i attempted too. Though a late bloomer – I found purpose, with reasons why were all here is much deeper.
“Its bigger than you and me”.
So now everyday i am doing my best to be the best version of myself as I continue to walk hold hands with God and the many creeds of celestial family that guide me.
“Thank you for listening”

Is it considered taboo to want to research the very parts of me?

A primordial sphinx on the hunt for freedom.
A rainbow warrior with the glow of a fire fly.

I wanted to see the world and be the difference ever since a child. I couldn’t find the words to express but I knew deep down this life was far bigger than you and I.
Society wants to chain our mind and keep us bound, but I reject that notion through the shield of mirrors. There should be A level of quiet respect to the highest form when the ancients make thie face appear in the rising skies above.

Not a heavy soul can grasp the magic of this love for self, it’s a ripple effect to the elect .

“They deem it selfish” Only because boundaries were set after unmasking the strings of lifeless puppets due to Geppettos scheme.

As a child it made my insides scream but now I’m back as a Samurai ready to cut the veil as I snatch my voice back !

Cause Regardless I will stay poised. Like wind chimes with a silent sound , a rhythm pumping through my veins harmonizing sweet grace.

I AM urbane.

I will not settle for less than anything I deserve. If I’m honest it’s true to say there were many lessons learned. My heart became open the more I got stabbed in it.
A shock to the sight. An implosion of a madriasis to a gapping Truth . The hurt we experience as a poison we ingest
Most tend to glorified as they justify with that same unchanged behavior. Triggering an unstoppable velocity of the most gruesome Mary go round with acceptance like a token of appreciation to the repetitive cycle.

It’s scary

Those red flags tingle on the inside like a ping pong shaking my electrical receptors alerting every meridian as I raise my fist in deflection.
I’m Sensing your bullshit underneath that trench coat of shadows you wear like the latest fashion coat .

So Mote it Not to be

So yet again I denounce that decree. Cause for so many years I’ve shed many tears for the joy of kissing happiness.
My Celibacy amplifies my potency to having that .
I find it easy to Disarm the ego of the shallow man.

Through every mirror I walk past, when I look into my own eyes I fall deep
No succubus or strays I deserve the real thing.
A beauty that desires the same love as me, the same beauty that when I look at HER, I see me .
The more I say no to the world outside the bigger the battle comes to oblige.

No worries, “Why do you think Arch Angel Michael carries a sword at his side?
I Just close my eyes and quantum leap. As The Angels heal and protect me, while i sleep”.

I’m On a psychic voyage , navigating through intuition. Writing down my dreams that are often a premonition
I’ll cut that cord within the quickness, calling back my energy if it brings me discord, as i recalibrate.

There shouldn’t be a war between two worlds based off my decision to walk away as my will is free.
Its my sanity I’m protecting and my heart I’m cleansing from the past of a treacherous journey .
These years of silence helped me through my mind as I roamed the inside like a tomb raider.

Removing those chains , picking locks. Warring to denounce those words these dark guardians spoke over me to forever be shackled in hurt ignoring Gods knock .
Even though the little girl was Drowning in tears, she was guarding my purity from the start .
-A captor for my love, a wise old wizard at heart.

She knew the struggles and the Abrasions they would cause, but never even to this day would let me die without basking in the ambience of heavens poetry.
it’s a schism

Like A war of the hearts

… “The fire has got to cease”
( I smile as I listen to the beautiful Sade Sing)

There is enough grief in this world as is.
I’m tired of battling THERE schizoid antics through covert tactics that over time made me walk further away from the beautiful parts of me.

After so many years of searching and finding it took 33 years to find me.
My battle scars are these dark circles under my eyes . Saying “ I love you Ashley, it’s about time we found you in I .

Like hidden scrolls I dove deep inside cement walls just to access these very parts of me. Of course there’s more to come for my life in the now is just the beginning of my true self.

(This is why I love myself )

Note to the world of readers and writers:

“There is a series of major lessons that must be learned each life time, one is the walk within. Boldly choosing the shear beauty of seeking the love of self, beyond a stellar dream is the key to your heart,… YOU are the key to your own heart. Once you choose you, everything meant will fall in line too ❤️”

The sound of a thousand semi automatic guns rang in the distant
Echoing a turbulent welcome for a new years celebration once the clock struck 12
With my body aching, Battling a cold with massive migraines marked the end to this year of 7.
What a powerful flush of an energetic cleanse to my DNA as I transcend
“I smiled with the knowing that This year means the scales are about to be balanced in my life once again” .
In my mind I Watched the last piece of sand fell through the hour glass modeling the figure 8… a year of infinite possibilities, perhaps an overflow of delayed blessings ?
As I sit now, writing at my desk draped in a cloak of protection. The Arch angels stand near as I pray for divine intervention for all the years I’ve cried JUSTICE
Staring into the image of the jaguars eyes I know I’m next in line for a miracle.
Goals for a peaceful life, a safe home somewhere near the mountains.
Eager to be closer to God as I embark on this destined journey with my baby fish tinkering at my side.
“Goals to find my tribe, and model world peace
“ heal with the earth,”
What a blessing to envision a silent escape from a ghost town, ridden in 7 deadly sins .
A land of body bags covered in blood shed.
I got my sights set forward, So now I can sow seeds on a land upon inheritance where the ancestors once weep.

“ The mountainous red turf in a vortex of manna.”

I Amplify my holy Trinity of self as I denounce the spirit of fear , for it was written as described from the words above.
when I foretold the looming truth of unjust crimes covered up by crooked cops and greedy ken who would rather see me held in asylum counting down the days waiting for me to die!
Too much truth? I think not.
So many goals but that also includes to let my voice shake as I speak from the heart and share hidden prophecy
Break down the walls, let the birds sing . It’s time for my fiery soul to be ‘Unsealed’.
I want to paint with sand and quantify in knowledge. Sit with shamans and monks on grassy lands taking notes as we read books.
There has been too many years gone by where I lived in hyper vigilance , writing down dreams waiting for the day to express myself a burning desire to live free.
I woke up this morning, nasal path ways wide open …noticing I could breathe.
“The storm is over this year it’s all about giving life to the beautiful visions I’ve seen.”
These are my goals for the new years closing out the year 2023

Ye Welcome The Year 2024, Time to let freedom Ring.