The most mind alerting experience that changed my perception on life was my first time sitting with AYAHUASCA. It was a day ill never forget, alot of changes took place at the start of 2020 for me. First, was a blessed trip i manifested to go to sedona Arizona for a few days , 2 days after new years day in January. The year before on new years eve in 2018 , i prayed to God and my spirit family for a sense of relief and a way to become closer to The Great Spirit and self, after attempting suicide the morning of December 9th of 2018. I was then being monitored by relatives at the time for about a month or so after that notion.
The night of New Years while spending the night over my families house, i sat in the basement after midnight, still feeling shattered on the inside.
It was like as if it was still the day that i decided in those moments when i was so fed up and ready to leave this world, that the angel of darkness had wisped away the light of my soul to keep, due to the empty void in my heart as i cried out for grievance from the constant unfortunate events that had rapidly transpired the past few years from the various forms of abuse I endured. Unknowingly my life was going in a downward spiral of a noiseless pit full speed and I had no clue. “ I was too busy drinking and dancing my sorrows away once upon a time”.

While in Sedona i found a sense of peace for the moment, learning simple healing modalities to reset my vagus nerve, eft tapping etc. I cried through the Angel healing session, as well as on the guided hike with the practitioner that followed into the creek before the mountain peak view.
There in Sedona I felt home being in the red earth desert land. Viewing the Grand Canyon was a surreal moment by it self. Staring into the massive gapping drop of mountains that formed a bowl like ridge as if it was a wondrous abyss to freedom. Though silence flooded the cool air , In my mind I felt as if there were many faces of passed on loved ones shaping the jagged edges in the mountains. “These were my ancestors”, the spirits of the Southwest spoke to me but without words, the same whispers i heard that night sitting in my families basement that told me, this was the place I needed to come for refuge.
As of now i realized me and those distant mountains have had many pastlives together, as far back to a time where they actually had the ability to speak back ( somehow Merlin comes to mind as i am typing this). They called out to me the night i cried for a wish of deliverance, “Not knowing it was a motion for me to come home”. After my short lived experience though the most memorable at that time in my life, I of course wanted to peer deeper into the supernatural world and learn more of who i was , though its deemed taboo to this world, I was lead to a man in a serendipitous moment. Again i asked the universe to meet a Shaman somehow , then met one at a crystal shop weeks after, giving short sessions for cleansing at a limited time.
After we spoke and i shared some of the tumultous happenings, he felt inclined to discuss sacred medicine with me , thats when i was lead to an Ayahuasca retreat in the month of september in 2020 ( what a year for a spiritual awakening) .After hours passed, once the medicine settled in, underneath the open stared sky that night , laying before a huge bonfire i felt the drift taking hold. An intense 5 hour purge of consistent tears and sobbing weakened my body to finally surrender all of the hidden hurt and pain Ive held dormant since a child came bursting through in the trapped door, hidden in the folds of the cortex of my mind.
There was this one moment when something told me to lay my head down upon the grass as i was rubbing the ground shaking from the hurt; when i seen my mother appear in the grass as if a glass floor was beneath me , literally. She told me to touch her hand ,reaching upward toward me and said “I m right here with you, im here, im here”.
Seeing my mother made me so happy i grieved harder, for she had passed away the day before Mothers Day unexpectedly in 2019. That shocking moment too was another stabbing ache of pain that left a scar within my heart. Another out of this world moment from that experience with momma Aya was when i was walking up the deck stairs and everything was rippling, even the touching of door knobs with grid lines forming behind everything. It shed light that the world that we live in is indeed holographic and not real, though to our naked eyes it would seem as if what we see on a day to day basis was in fact truth, but i KNOW it to be different. Ever since, my life was never the same, but for great reason.
As of now Ive had other experiences that have made an important impact on my life , it most definitely gave a reason why The Great Spirit would not let me leave this earth so soon when i attempted too. Though a late bloomer – I found purpose, with reasons why were all here is much deeper.
“Its bigger than you and me”.
So now everyday i am doing my best to be the best version of myself as I continue to walk hold hands with God and the many creeds of celestial family that guide me.
“Thank you for listening”