Dear Jordan Taylor Bradford,

I have always wanted to be unapologetically myself
And I would say I was,
Yet I would find myself apologizing for existing

Apologizing and resisting
Doing what I truly wanted
What my heart of hearts yearned for

I want to be famous, and myself

You are a household name
I want to be like you,
I want everything I have to be earned
To put all the years of school
and life lessons I learned

To positive use
to make a legendary impact
to inspire future and former generations alike
to follow their dreams
and keep their heart intact

Dropping out of grad school
wasn’t a waste.
While it drained my finances,
it makes me who I am today:
someone whose heart dances
with joy and delight, rage and depression alike

Excitement, obsession, and envy despite
Being so magnificently me
So powerful on my own
Even more so when I’m not alone

I am beautiful and strong –
Words I vehemently denied for so long

I want to be ethereal like you
So delicate and seemingly too light to be true

I am well on my way
to becoming Myself today
I eat for energy and happiness
which is a long way
from the darkest depths of my eating disorders
That I am overcoming each day

I indulge in
the meditative and physical aspects of yoga
as privileges, rather than
“must-do tasks”

Because it is an honour
that I get to ask
My body to take a breath,
take a break

I am *mostly*
no longer someone I hate
I am like you,
I am whole and real

When I feel my feelings,
I mean I really FEEL

and that makes my heart happy
Along my journey to heal

Love,
Jor